(2025-11-16) Hops and Barrels (S18 E5 - White Squad Log)

Details

Author:	Luridel
Summary:	White Squad continues to help Chen Stormstout with his brewing quest. Alysson gets the hops. Shun does not want to be the tooth fairy. Gwen has some experience farming. Iphindra hates the word 'weeds'. Estel makes a sprite bath, which is like a bird bath but in a barrel. ~4.1k words.
Rating:	T for Teen

Arc: Season 18: The Valley and the Jungle

Outside the Lazy Turnip Inn, a green dragon turtle watches Alysson.

Estel sits on a short post near the bottom of the stairs, legs stretched out in front of her and feet crossed at the ankles.

Gwen emerges from the inn, stretching her arms, which cause a little wince and she lightly touches her belly. Still, she smiles brightly as she approaches Estel. "Good moooorning!"

"Hey, Gwen!" Estel grins at her. "Lunch sit okay? You ready to work?"

"Ready and eager!" Gwen nods enthusiastically. "It's so good to be feeling relatively normal again."

Estel gives Gwen a thumbs-up with bonus Fortitude blessing. "I bet, yeah."

"If you ever have tummy troubles, I highly recommend pandaren healers," Gwen suggests. "They really know their tummy medicine."

Estel nods. "Sure hope I won't need 'em, yeah?"

Gwen takes a seat on the steps beside Estel. "Of course. I wouldn't wish it on anyone."

Alysson is seated on the ground at the edge of the dirt path, playing with a bundle of socks. Occasionally, he glances at the green dragon turtle.

Li Li wanders over to Alysson. "What are you doing?"

Alysson holds up a sock bundle to show her. It now has a face drawn on it. "I was thinkin' what to feed 'em," he says.

"Pocket lint," Li Li suggests. "Or turnips."

Alysson perks up. "They could eat for years on the turnips around here," he says. "Only, I haven't got anythin' to buy 'em with, an' stealin's wrong."

Li Li eyes the sock bundle. "Might be too small for a properly-sized turnip."

"Naw, it's fine, they'd just have to chew on it a little," Alysson says.

"Suuuuure." Li Li, your sarcasm is showing.

Estel yawns. "Iphindra can probably find us, right?"

"She seems to have pretty good instincts," Gwen agrees, "and we can leave word with the locals about where we've gone."

Chen and Mudmug are currently talking shop.

Estel waves Alysson over. "Hey."

Gwen waves to Alysson, beckoning him over.

Alysson grins and hops to his feet to join the ladies.

Chen Stormstout says warmly, "Travelers! Come to help again?"

"Wouldn't feel right to stop helpin' in the middle," Alysson says.

Chen rubs his paws together. "So," he says. "We have the grain and the water, and the Ironpaws have kindly agreed to let me have some space in the cook-yard behind the inn for the brewing. All that's left is to get the hops!"

Alysson hops experimentally.

"Great!" Gwen says. "Where should we go for them?"

Chen laughs heartily. He probably thinks Alysson's making a joke.

"I don't know the farmers around here, but Gina Mudclaw gave me the names of a few I should check with. Li Li and Mudmug and I were just talking about dividing up the list. Would you be willing to check with a few?" Chen holds out a scrap of paper, on which are written the names Gardener Fran, Den Mudclaw and Gai Lan. "These three are all to the northwest of here," he says.

"Virmen have plenty o' hops," Alysson says, very seriously.

Gwen pinches her lips to stifle a giggle.

"There's a kind of plant called a hop plant," Estel says to Alysson. "We're lookin' for some."

"Do they make a fellow start bouncin'?" Alysson asks eagerly.

Estel takes the paper from Chen.

Gwen snickers. "Maybe after they've been turned into beer, if a fellow has enough of it."

"After they've been — " Chen laughs and gestures at Gwenivene. "She's got it."

"Yesss! Let's go get 'em!" Alysson is now extra enthusiastic.

"Hop, hop, hopin' hops," Alysson sings quietly.

They head north out of Halfhill.

Shun suddenly appears by Estel.

"Some of our neighbors back in Westfall used to grow hops to sell to local brewers," Gwen says. "We never grew it ourselves. But I'm pretty sure I know what to look for."

Estel stumbles over a rock and nearly trips. "Oi!"

"Ho there Shun fellow!" Alysson greets.

Shun catches her, then grunts at the others.

"Oh, hello, Shun!" Gwen beams. "You okay, Estel?"

"You're back!" Estel gives Shun a big hug, then lets go and grins at him. "We're helpin' Chen Stormstout today. I'm good."

"D'you s'pose he really puts a whole storm in his stout?" Alysson asks.

"Hehe, I don't think so, Alysson. I think it's a metaphorical name," Gwen explains.

"He found his family brewery, but somethin' weird was going on there and they weren't exactly welcoming. So he's decided he's going to brew something really fancy to prove a point." Estel tilts her head towards the road.

"So we're looking for…" Estel takes a look at the paper. She can't actually read what Chen's written. She shoves the paper at Gwen.

"Magic hoppin' plants!" Alysson finishes eagerly. He forgot about the people already.

"Some nearby farmers," Estel says. "Who grow hops."

Alysson steps aside to let some goats pass.

Gwen takes the paper and murmurs a spell of arcane brilliance (Dalaran style). "Let's see…first we should find Gardener Fran."

"Seems if we just keep following the road, we should find her to the north," Gwen explains.

Shun nods, then looks to the others, "We are seeking people then?"

Estel nods. "To see if they'll sell Chen some hops, I guess."

[Shun]: "Hops..?"

"For brewing," Estel says. "It's a thing. Flowers of the hop plant."

Shun grunts.

Alysson hops again. For fun this time.

A pandaren woman in a gardener's apron and broad conical hat looks up curiously as the group approaches her. "The outlanders. Hello. What brings you here?"

"Hops!" Alysson blurts.

"Hello!" Gwen greets her. "We've come on behalf of a friend looking to buy some hops."

Gardener Fran snorts. "You want hops? A farm is hard work, outlanders, and this is the third time this week that some foreigner has come here asking me for things. You want hops? Then I want help."

Gardener Fran points at a jumble of watering cans in a nearby wheelbarrow. "You can fill those up north of here. Come back to me when you've watered my crops!"

Shun furrows his brow.

"We can do that!" Gwen nods enthusiastically.

"Yeah, okay," Estel says, and collects a watering can.

Gwen collects a watering can and gets to work!

Shun deadpans as he shadowsteps around, watering crops.

Alysson tries to feed the crops a banana.

Gardener Fran keeps an eye on them, occasionally telling them which field to water.

Gwen returns, damp and a bit dirty, but smiling brightly. "This takes me back to when I was a little kid."

Gardener Fran looks grudging. "Hmmph. Nice farming." She eyes them. "You said you needed hops? I already sold most of mine to Stormstout Brewery, but you can have what's left."

"Our friend who needs 'em is Chen Stormstout, staying at the Lazy Turnip," Estel says.

"We appreciate it, ma'am. May your harvest be bountiful!" Gwen offers a bow to Fran.

"Huh." Fran nods. "Very well. I'll send some to Halfhill."

Fran gives Gwenivene an approving look. "Good work."

[Gwenivene]: "Let's see if any of the others have more hops."

There is an absolutely massive virmen blocking the bridge.

Shun gets ready to stab it.

"Whoa…" Alysson looks impressed.

The virmen growls threateningly and springs forward towards the three pandaren guarding the bridge.

"That is a huuuge virmen." Gwen's eyes go wide.

It gets stabbed.

The virmen throws Alysson off the bridge. He's fine.

Estel slips into Shadowform and gives the virmen nightmares for the rest of its very short existence.

"Oh, shinbones! Alysson, are you okay?" Gwen calls.

"Alysson, you good?" Estel checks.

"Yeah!" Alysson calls back. "I was just practicin' the ol' flyin'!"

This farm appears to be producing a bumper crop of virmen. Probably not on purpose.

A tired-looking pandaren farmer and an irritated hozen stand together in the muddy yard outside the farmhouse, gazing out at the fields.

"Hello? We're looking for Den Mudclaw," Gwen says.

Den Mudclaw blinks at them. It takes him a second. "Hm? That's me."

Den Mudclaw is the pandaren, not the hozen.

Gwen smiles. "Our friend, Chen Stormstout, is in need of hops for brewing. We hoped you might be able to part with some."

Den Mudclaw takes his hat off and mops his brow. "You want hops? You'll have to talk to Mung-Mung for that. He handles our storage." He looks despondently at the group. "I am sorry to be distracted. My daughter is missing."

Gwenivene gasps!

"Is she a princess?" Alysson's eyes are wide.

Estel drops her Shadowform. "Missing?"

Shun tilts his head.

"Oh no, that's awful! Maybe we can help?" Gwen offers.

Den Mudclaw twists his hat in his hands. "I have a suspicion the virmen carried her off into that warren of theirs. I'm too old to fight virmen, and Mung-Mung is already exhausted from fighting them off all morning. Could you… help?"

"Was she taken by Virme—" Shun starts to ask but he gets answered mid sentence.

Gwen nods firmly. "We'll get her back! I promise!"

The hozen next to him — Mung-Mung, presumably — growls. "These virmen, they gone too far! Always biting, biting — they bite our carrots, they bite our pumpkins, they even bite Mung-Mung when he fights them! You go and rescue Miss Mina, and you make sure those virmen no biting no more! Bring me their TEETH. We see how they bite then."

"Does that mean he doesn't want us killin' 'em?" Alysson whispers.

Gwen whispers to Alysson, "I'm not sure I'll ever understand what motivates hozen."

[Shun]: "Okay…"

Mung-Mung scratches his armpit. "You can kill them too! But Mung-Mung wants teeth."

Den Mudclaw looks hopeful. "Thank you, outlanders."

Estel doesn't question it.

"I've never been good at the ol' teeth pullin'," Alysson admits.

Shun sighs, "I can pry them…"

From down in a nearby virmen warren, they can hear virmen shouting. "Panda lady! Catch this carrot!"

Alysson smiles at him. "That'll make you a proper tooth fairy!"

"Did you hear that?" Gwen points down into the warren.

Shun gives Alysson a flat look.

They descend into the warren.

"Now do a dance on top of the carrot!" comes a virmen's voice from around the corner.

At the far end of the warren, a young pandaren woman is standing atop a carrot roughly the size of something gigantic-carrot-sized. She is surrounded by a jeering audience of virmen.

The young woman dodges a flung carrot and does a tired, shuffling little dance atop the giant carrot. The virmen hoot and chitter, and more carrots are flung at her. Don't think about it too closely.

"The hell…?" Shun mutters.

"It's like some sorta carrot shrine," Alysson says. "Or a… carrot tower?"

"Ugh," Gwen frowns. "These virmen are just awful. Set her free, White Squad!"

"We'll call this story the princess an' the carrot!" Alysson continues.

The exhausted young woman stares at the strangers. "You're… not virmen. You're not carrots, either. Are you here… to save me?"

"We are!" Gwen beams.

Her face crumples with tearful relief. "These virmen… they make me do terrible, horrible, silly things. All involving carrots. Please, get me out of here!"

"Mina, yeah?" Estel grins at her. "Your dad sent us. It's gonna be fine."

Add +1 to Alysson's Rescued Princess Count.

They head back aboveground.

"Mina!" cries Farmer Den, and flings his battered hat aside to jog toward her. "You're home!"

Mina flings herself at him for a panda bear hug. "Dad," she says, "I never want to see another carrot again."

Mung-Mung is grinning at the father-daughter reunion, but their happy outcome has not distracted him from his own aims. He looks expectantly at the group of travelers. "You got teeth for me?"

Shun hands over a bag of virmen teeth.

"Tooth fairy Shun has 'em!" Alysson says cheerfully.

Gwen wrinkles her nose.

"Please do not call me that," Shun says.

"Ho ho!" Mung-Mung gloats as he peeks into the bag. "So many teeth! Maybe Mung-Mung will glue them together to make a tiny rake."

"Cheers," Estel says, looking amused.

"Sure. They are yours now. Do whatever you want with them," Shun shrugs.

Alysson squints at the teeth. "You can do that?"

Mung-Mung squints. "You say you wanted hops, yeah? No problem. We not got so much this time of year, but Mung-Mung will send what we got."

Mung-Mung nods. "Mung-Mung has always wanted to make a tiny rake of teeth."

"Thank you so much." Gwen bows to Den and Mung-Mung.

Gwen checks Chen's list. "The last name on the list is Gai Lan."

"Gai Lan? You can head south and then west along the road," Den Mudclaw says helpfully.

Gwen smiles gratefully at Den and bows. "Thank you!"

A pandaren farmer stands perched atop a boulder in an otherwise-empty field of tilled soil. He is holding a broom like a weapon, and watches the ground narrowly.

"Hey," Estel calls. "You Gai Lan? We're here on behalf of Chen Stormstout."

Alysson watches him watch the ground.

"This looks ominous," Gwen murmurs.

"We were hoping you had some hops to spare for brewing," Gwen says.

Iphindra runs to them "H- hello! I was told where I co- could find you!"

Shun grunts.

Gai Lan nods nervously. "That's me. What can I do for you?"

Alysson smiles and waves at Iphindra.

Estel grins at Iphindra. "Hey! We're looking for hops for Chen at this point."

"Iphindra! Oh good, you found us." Gwen beams happily at the kaldorei woman.

"Hops, you say? I have some left from the harvest, yes. But I don't… want to leave this field unattended. I have a bit of a weed problem, you see." Gai Lan looks the group over. "You wouldn't be willing to help out, would you?"

"Helping is what we do!" Gwen offers.

Alysson glances at the ground again.

"What do y- you mean, weeds?" Iphi pouts. "I really don't like that term…"

Shun looks around, raising a brow.

"Plants that belong somewhere that isn't my field," Gai Lan says.

Iphi crosses her arms. "Then I- I still don't like the word 'weeds'. It's n- not up to you where plants sh- should or shouldn't grow."

Gai Lan gives Iphindra a curious look. "When you're trying to cultivate a field of a certain type of crop, it is."

"I understand how you must feel, Iphindra," Gwen says calmly. "But agriculture requires a more controlled system, to feed thousands."

As they're talking, a thorny vine sprouts up and tries to snatch Gai Lan off of his boulder. He ducks.

"Th- that's only because we've abandoned the plants that are already around us…" Iphi shakes her head. "There are plenty of weeds th- that are just as good to eat-" Iphi blinks at the attacking plant. "M- maybe there are a few who are dangerous…"

"Holy shit," Estel says, quickly Shielding the farmer.

Gwen squeaks! "Mr. Gai Lan! Are you alright?"

Shun throws a knife at the vine.

More vines begin to sprout in the field.

Alysson jumps back a step.

"No!" Gai Lan calls back. "This keeps happening! Please help me!"

"Why're they doin' this?" Alysson asks as a nightmare weed situation starts springing up around them.

"Iphindra! Can you convince the weeds to leave this field alone?" Gwen asks.

A vine coils around Estel's leg, and she Fades. The vine releases her. What was it just doing?

"Let me help…" Iphi puts a hand on the floor, accelerating the growth of the more aggressive plants. Some wither before they even get to maturity, making them look sere. Some mature, flower, and drop their seeds. All of these roll to the ground —
gather at Iphi's feet. She picks them up in a little pouch.

Gwen pauses, watching Iphindra, her lips parting in awe.

Gai Lan stares at her. "Whew. Now that's really something. Nice work."

Alysson breathes a tiny sigh of relief.

Gwenivene claps. "Well done, Iphindra!"

"I- I'll plant them somewhere away from farms, where they won't bother you anymore!" Iphi nods. "I'm sorry for not b- believing that these plants were a problem, at first."

"We can plant 'em someplace an' call it the 'Danger Garden!'" Alysson says cheerfully.

"You're a lifesaver, miss." Gai Lan shakes his head and slowly sits down on the boulder. "I'll have your hops delivered to Halfhill right away."

"That should be all of them now, right?" Shun asks.

"Cheers," Estel says. She nods to Shun.

Gai Lan slides off the boulder, gives them all a polite bow, and trudges off to arrange for hop delivery.

"Lets get back to Halfhill and check in with Chen," Gwen says.

Estel gives Gwen a thumbs-up. "Sure thing."

"Hmmm…" Iphi observes the pouch of seeds as they walk away. "I'll have th- them checked by someone who knows about the Sha. "It's… I don't really know Pandaria, but it's only here I've seen plants like t- that. I hope they're not… Sha infected. It comes from the ground, ri- right?" she asks.

"I didn't sense anything weird," Estel says. "They might just be like that. I dunno."

When they return to Halfhill, Chen is admiringly sifting through three sacks of hops. "Look at all these hops! Quality stuff, too. I think it's time we got brewing! Pay attention, you might learn a thing or two." He grins.

"But if you wouldn't mind waiting, friends… this might take a long time."

Shun shrugs.

TIME PASSES

Chen is seated proudly atop a keg of ale. Several other kegs are arranged neatly around him.

"You're right!" Li Li exposits. "That did take a long time!" (Li Li is an RPer too.)

"Thanks for waiting so long," Chen tells White Squad. "You are as patient as you are brave."

Chen indeed did not need the squad to throw ingredients at him.

Estel wanders out of the inn. "You done?"

Iphi stands proudly.

Chen gestures to the barrels. "I'm done."

Gwen emerges from the inn, yawning. "Mmmm, I had a lovely nap."

"Now!" says Chen, and hops down from his keg. "It's high time I was reunited with the rest of the Stormstouts… and what better way to reunite than over a few mugs of the best ale they've ever tasted?"

Mugmug appears, towing a cart. "Let's get them barrels loaded!" he calls.

Li Li beams at him. "Are you coming, Mudmug?"

"Aw, I dunno," says Mudmug, tossing a couple of kegs easily but also possibly unsafely into the cart. "This kinda seems like a family thing."

"It is a family thing, Mudmug!" Chen tells him cheerfully, tossing another couple of kegs. "And that's why I want you to join us."

"No foolin'?" Mudmug asks hopefully.

"We have brewed beer together!" Chen says. "That practically makes us brothers!" He looks over at White Squad. "And that makes you family, too, travelers. Follow the road west to the brewery and we'll meet you there!"

Shun grunts.

White Squad is not offered a ride in the cart. The cart is very full, though.

Estel looks at Gwen. "I guess he'd be disappointed if we didn't go, yeah?"

"I sure want to see how all this turns out!" Gwen grins.

"I- I want to know why this man rejected Chen…" Iphi frowns a little.

Gwen nods to Iphi, donning her hat.

Estel starts on down towards the west road.

"I hope he doesn't have an Axe Ma, though," Alysson says. "Or an axe… Great Ma?"

They travel to the Stormstout Brewery.

The Stormstout Brewery is absolutely gigantic. Chen, Li Li, and Mudmug are standing staring at the brewery door. The cart of Chen's beer waits in the road nearby.

"Huh," says Li Li. "Looks like they're… closed?"

"Strange," says Chen. "The door is boarded up."

Shun raises a brow.

Estel marches right up to the door and knocks. Once.

"Y'all think they're hidin' somethin' inside?" Mudmug asks.

Iphi starts to look for a way to climb up. She will not stand for this rejection Chen faced.

"We will find out!" says Chen. He steps forward and starts banging on the door. "Stormstouts! Open up! I have returned! And I brought beer!"

"Ummmm, guys?" asks Li Li.

"Not now, Li Li," says Chen. "You know I hate to be interrupted while I'm knocking on doors."

"Chen!" yelps Mudmug. "It's a giant dang ol' hozen!"

"WHO CRASHING OOK PARTY?" bellows the giant dang ol' hozen, and flings barrels wildly at the group.

[Shun]: "What–"

The dang ol' hozen has great aim if his aim is to trap everybody in barrels.

Gwen squeals and erupts in an arcane explosion, shattering the barrel around her!

Estel tips her barrel over onto its side and just crawls out.

Iphi is too focused on finding a way to climb inside that she doesn't notice the barrel being thrown at her. The plants around her pull it off of her, freeing her rapidly. "I- it smells terrible inside!"

Shun gets barreled over. After a moment, he stabs through the side repeatedly.

Li Li shatters the barrel with a kick, and then breaks out Chen and Mudmug before they can free themselves.

Alysson starts rolling around in his barrel like a hamster wheel.

All heck has broken loose outside the brewery. The giant dang ol' hozen appears to have brought several dozen of his normal-sized kin along with him, and they are guzzling beer and smashing kegs.

Iphi giggles at Alysson.

Swarms of virmen are clambering out of the upper-story windows of the brewery. A couple of them fall off the roof. They seem a little tipsy. The river beside the brewery is seething with water sprites.

"CHEESE AND CRACKERS!" Gwen gawks at the army of hozen overrunning the area outside the brewery.

Estel catches Alysson's barrel. "Okay, no, you go back out the side with your legs…"

"Are you seeing this?" an incredulous Chen demands. "What the heck is going on in there?! I'm going to run around to the other entrance — in the east — and see if I can get in that way. Meanwhile, see if you can't get rid of these… everything. There's nothing worse than drunken hozen. Except maybe drunken virmen." Chen takes off at a run toward the other side of the brewery.

"I'm coming with you!" cries Li Li, and runs after him.

Iphi goes to stand near their beer cart, her spear in hand. She protecc.

Alysson squirms until he manages to extract himself from the barrel. "Where'd all the hozen come from?" he asks.

Mudmug, meanwhile, is eyeing the water sprites speculatively. "You know, those little critters are actually made of water? I reckon a man could make some mighty fine beer with some fancy spritewater. If you, uh — happen to get any of that, could you bring me some?"

Gwen blinks at Mudmug incredulously. But she just shrugs and sighs. "I suppose we can do that."

"Permission to use lethal force?" Shun asks.

"Go for it," Mudmug says as if he was the one being asked.

Gwen nods warily to Shun. "If you must."

Iphi looks up a little worriedly at Mudmug. "O- okay."

Estel slips into Shadowform. She's sure using lethal force.

Alysson focuses on freeing barreled pandaren.

Estel rolls an empty barrel towards a water sprite. "Hey, could you, uh, drip in here?"

"Oooh, great idea!" Gwen beams at Estel.

The sprite goes into the barrel, swishes around, and then emerges. There is some water left over in the barrel.

"Thanks!" Estel coaxes a couple more sprites into playing in the water barrel and then starts pushing it around the side towards Mudmug and the others.

Shun is focusing on dealing with the hozen and virmen.

Chen and Li Li are waiting on a small terrace outside the brewery's eastern entrance.

Iphi breaks open barrels with the power of PLANTS. She joins the others.

"All right, that's it," says Chen to White Squad. "I've had enough of this! If somebody doesn't do something to take care of this brewery, we'll lose it forever. And there's far too much family history – and beer — in there to waste! I am going to figure out a plan, and then we, friends, are going to break in there and put a stop to… whatever this nonsense is. If you're willing to help, I'll send for you when we're ready."

"You have my staff," Gwen says solemnly to Chen.

Estel gives Chen Stormstout a thumbs-up. "Yeah, sounds fun."

"W- we'll help you save your family's brewery!" Iphi says.

Shun grunts.

"What a mess," Estel mutters.

[Shun]: "Understatement."

"Let's get some rest and patch ourselves up while Chen forms his plan," Gwen says. "If it's this chaotic inside, we'll need to be in tip-top shape."

Iphi nods. "M- maybe I could use the plants from earlier to fight inside there…" Iphi looks at the seeds she picked up. She has work to do.

"Okay," Estel says. "Gwen, I wanna check up on the workers who got barreled. We done?"

Gwen nods. "I'll join you. Everyone, dismissed. We'll meet back at Halfhill to make our preparations."

"To Halfhill!" Alysson says, heading out.

"V- very well!" Iphi bows her head, like the Pandaren do. "I'll co- come with you!"

"Later, later!" Estel waves.