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| Details |
| Author: | Alli |
| Summary: | Glyphe, Kalhidai (a.k.a. Lhilhi), Lihua, Natlee, and Slicket head down to Gadgetzan to help Kelsey Steelspark win over some Steamwheedle goblins… or at least prevent the Horde from doing the same. ~3700 words. |
| Rating: | T for Teen |
Arc: Kalimdor Newbies
The team assembles in Gadgetzan, Tanaris.
Lihua waves to Glyphe, Slicket, and…a pirate gnome?…as she wanders up. "Hello!"
Glyphe waves back happily. "Hi Lihua! Hi Noodle!"
"OMT, no one told me how HOT it is here," Natlee whines. She was told. Several times. She fans herself futilely in her draping priest garments.
"Yes, so very hot!" Lihua pants a little.
The pirate gnome waves back and says in a familiar, slick voice, "Hey, babe! Ready to help out some goblins?"
Natlee giggles at Slicket.
"Seems on theme, right?" Slicket grins. "I'm Slicket, by the way, if you can't tell. It's just one of those temporary magic costumes, leftover from Hallow's End. It'll probably wear off soon."
"Oh!" Glyphe says. "I wondered. Hi Slicket!"
Slicket grins at Glyphe and smooths his pirate mustache. Then he eyes Lihua's fur in concern. "Are you gonna… be okay with the heat?"
"It is warm, but I have plenty of water," Lihua assures.
Natlee coos at Dumpling. "Poor little guy, you're gonna be bacon within the hour just walking around here."
Dumpling snorts in worry.
"It gets cold at night, I hear," Glyphe says.
"I wonder if a shield would protect his little feetsies," Natlee says anxiously, still watching Dumpling.
"If he needs it, I can donate mine," Slicket suggests. "If Glyphe can float it along or something."
"He has hooves," Glyphe points out. "Poor Noodle has naked paws."
"Noodle seems like the type who can take care of himself though. Herself?" Natlee starts to check, then wrinkles her nose and doesn't.
Lihua giggles. "Himself. Noodle is a boy fox."
"Hm, you're not wrong," Slicket nods. "Well, Lhilhi and Finder are going to find us down here, and I think Cerethan's planning to join later. Let's go check in with Steelspark!"
"I can't wait to meet Steelspark. I've heard like, sooooo many things." Natlee bounces a little. "How's my hair?" Natlee preens her perfect pigtails.
Slicket aims a thumbs up at Natlee. She probably wasn't asking him.
"Your hair is always perfect," Glyphe says to Natlee. She sighs.
Lihua perks up. "Oh! Does anyone have any money? A goblin here told me about an investment opportunity. We just need 5,000 gold to free a captive prince, who will pay us back much more!"
"Uh… Lihua, we probably should've briefed you on goblins," Slicket winces.
Lihua tilts her head curiously.
"Oh nooooo, she doesn't know about goblins." Natlee goes wide-eyed.
"The odds of there being an actual captive prince are… pretty much zero," Slicket says apologetically.
"But why would he lie to me?" Lihua frowns.
"So you'd give him 5000 gold," Glyphe explains.
"Goblins lie like, allllllllll the time," says Natlee.
"Oh." Lihua sighs. "I feel foolish."
"They will do ANYTHING for money. I mean… anything." Natlee's tone is dire. "Look, even I have been conned by a goblin before. I was six, but still." Natlee smooths a pigtail in remembered embarrassment.
Kelsey Steelspark, a cute little red-headed gnome, stands next to a cluster of goblins.
Natlee catches sight of Kelsey's sunset-colored ponytail and her eyes go wide over her veil. "Wow, she's hot!" she whispers.
Slicket raises a piratey eyebrow and nods.
Glyphe whispers back, "We're all hot. It's a desert."
Natlee giggles and pats Glyphe on the head.
When Kelsey sees the team, she hurries over. She aims a little-too-wide-to-be-sincere smile at the team and says, "Greetings and salutations, friends. Welcome to Tanaris!"
"Steelspark, right?" Slicket says. "What can we help you with?"
Natlee stares at Kelsey Steelspark, both hands smoothing one of her pigtails.
Kelsey takes a breath, and glances over at the nearby goblins. "As you probably know, this is a goblin place – Steamwheedle, not Bilgewater. The Steamwheedle Cartel is led by Mister Marin Noggenfogger," she jerks her thumb towards him. "Mister Noggenfogger values his neutrality in the recent conflict. Still… Bilgewater has sent some contacts here to try to sway Mister Noggenfogger’s ear. We’re not going to let them."
Slicket glares at Megs from Marketing.
"Just to be very clear," Lihua chimes in, "He is not a prince, is he?"
"Mister Noggenfogger?" Kelsey asks. "Baron of Gadgetzan, Trade Prince of Steamwheedle. That's a little different from a human prince, though."
Lihua nods and ducks her head.
Glyphe seems impressed.
"But…he is very free, yes? Not a captive…?" Lihua asks meekly.
A slightly menacing young goblin woman with a burgundy ponytail sidles over toward megs and murmurs something in her ear. She gives Slicket & Company a threatening look, smacks one green fist into her palm, and then strolls away.
Slicket eyes the goblin with the ponytail, his eyes wary.
"Very free, yes, unfortunately so free he might work with Horde goblins," Kelsey sighs. "We’re going to show him that he wants to work with gnomes. And that really it’d be nice if more gnomes lived around here, doncha think?"
"Oh! My friends are gnomes!" Lihua exclaims. She knows, Lihua. She knows.
"Yeah!" Glyphe says. "Well, not me, though. It's too hot."
Natlee glances at Steelspark to see if she thinks it's hot. Is it okay to think it's too hot here? her expression reads.
Lihua nods, tongue lolling out. "So very hot. Maybe we can find some shade and have a little nap…."
Natlee giggles at Lihua. "With the fur, it must be rough. I would never wear fur here."
Steelspark wipes her forehead absent-mindedly. She is indeed hot. "Well, before you take that nap, I have some work for you to do. I’ve been looking for ways that a good gnomish… and uh, other races too, pandaren are cool… team could help out around here. And I have some ideas!"
Glyphe holds her tabard a little away from her chest. "We'll help! We're from Cobalt Company."
"So I see, love the Company," Kelsey grins.
"Ideas, huh?" Slicket says. "Any of them involve swimming, maybe?"
Natlee lightly slaps Slicket across the back of the head.
"Do you know what I find can win over just about anybody?" Lihua beams. "A delicious meal cooked just for them!"
"Yeah, and you could cook it right on the sand," Natlee says dryly. Dry as a desert, even.
Lihua giggles at Natlee.
"Maybe swimming,” Kelsey then turns to Lihua. "Cooking could be an idea. I'll think about it. There's some edible wildlife around here, anyway. But first… In some ways, it’s great that the ocean came in so far. Now ships can get right to Gadgetzan! But as a port city, it’s run into its share of problems."
Natlee salutes Steelspark crisply.
"Gadgetzan's under blockade by pirates right now. Plenty of the goods that get blown off the ships survive intact… they just wash away. Most of them wash up in the shallows just south of town," Kelsey explains.
"Aw, we shoulda brought our boat!" Glyphe says.
"If you could go collect those supplies for them, it'd help us make friends! And it'll keep that mean Bilgewater goblin girl over there from taking them and selling them," Kelsey smiles sunnily and jerks her thumb towards Megs.
"Yeah, we didn't drag our boat over the sands, but…" Slicket shrugs. "We're good with salvage. Did a lot of that in the Needles."
"What’s more, there's a bunch of nasty old sea giants encroaching on the town! I'm sure Mister Noggenfogger would appreciate us taking care of them for him," Kelsey beams a saccharine smile in his direction.
Natlee studies Steelspark for a moment, eyes narrowing. Natlee looks between Noggenfogger and Steelspark, and after a moment her expression also becomes quite vapid and cheery.
Kelsey nods to the team and skips back up to the goblin conversation, still wearing her sugary smile.
Slicket's costume goes poof, and he once again looks like himself. He eyes the team. "Ready to help out? I feel like she's playing a deeper game than meets the eye."
Glyphe nods.
Natlee nods, eyes still empty and childlike.
Lihua nods, "If it takes us to the water, I am very, very ready!"
Slicket eyes the shoreline. "Wow. She wasn't kidding. The beach is literally right at the edge of town."
Once they get out of visual range of Noggenfogger, Natlee switches back to her normal shrewd expression. "I think maybe that Noggenfogger guy prefers sweet little harmless things. Because I get the feeling that's not Steelspark's usual vibe."
Slicket nods. "I don't think she'd be heading up this operation if she were sweet and harmless."
Glyphe's eyes widen, not that you can tell behind her goggles. "Wow, giants!"
"Oh gosh, those are… large," Natlee says unnecessarily. It says that on the tin.
Slicket wades out into the water in relief, then looks up at the sea giants. "She wasn't kidding about that either."
"Oooh, turtles!" Lihua squeals excitedly.
Natlee levitates herself so that she doesn't have to get her robe wet.
Slicket peers up at Natlee. "Really? You'd rather be hot than wet?"
Natlee just… stares at Slicket for a minute.
Slicket looks baffled for a moment, and then smothers a laugh in a fake cough.
"Oh hey, that Lhilhi on the shore?" Slicket asks, peering in that direction.
"That fox of hers sure is well named," Natlee comments, twirling a pigtail that is pristinely undampened by the sea. Fashion over comfort, apparently.
"Hello!" lhilhi catches up with a cheerful wave and stops to boggle at a Tidal Strider. "My! He's a tall one!"
Noodle yips happily at Finder.
Finder is happy to see Friend Noodle!
"Hi Lhilhi, hi Finder!" Glyphe greets.
Natlee giggles at the fox socialization.
Slicket waves at Lhilhi as she approaches. "We're picking up pirated supplies, killing some giants. Hope this'll win over the goblins."
"So, just to be clear, Lhilihi," Natlee explains sweetly, "the Steamwheedle goblins, the ones we are helping, are NOT Horde. But the Bilgewater goblins ARE Horde and they are trying to take over the place. We are trying to butter up the Steamwheedles so they don't join forces with the Bilgewaters. Got it?"
"Also," Lihua adds, "Do not believe them if they say they know a captive prince and need money to free him."
"Definitely do not do that," Natlee agrees dryly.
"It'd be kind of nice if the Alliance got its own goblins," Slicket says, sloshing through the water. "But then again, maybe keepin' 'em neutral is the best way to go."
"Goblins would NOT be into the Alliance's ideals and stuff," Natlee says solemnly.
"I spent a lot of time with goblins," Slicket says with a shrug. "They're alright, but yeah, uh… their ideals are more like, what makes me the most profit."
Natlee gets stomped on by a giant. "OW" Natlee refreshes her Levitate spell, but it's too late - her robe and hair are now wet and bedraggled looking.
Slicket refrains from commenting on Natlee's wetness.
"These giants are kind of wimpy. Well, not if the y're stepping on you," Glyphe adds, for Natlee's benefit.
"Even I will admit that as stomps go that was pretty feeble," Natlee says. "I feel like a real giant would have reduced me to like, puree."
"I am glad you are not puree," Lihua says.
"Yeah, I'd hate to see any of us be puree," Slicket nods solemnly.
"I am sure gnomes would not be tasty," Natlee says, perhaps predicting what she thinks is Lihua's line of thought. "I bet we taste metallic. We are descended from like, robots."
"Oh, interesting," Lihua is definitely not considering how to best serve gnome.
"Yeah, there was like a whole tribe of them or something up in Northrend, I heard," Slicket nods. "Robot gnomes."
Natlee nods solemnly. "My dad told me alllll about it."
There’s a brief interlude of giant-fighting and crate-collecting.
"OH MY GOSH I forgot to tell you guys. Wait… am I allowed to tell you guys?" She frowns, trying to remember.
"Yes, you're allowed," Slicket says casually. "Tell us what?"
"Okay so this is TOP SECRET right now okay? You gotta zip it," Natlee cautions.
"I'm great at secrets," Slicket nods.
"But Captain Sparkwire is PREGGO. Like, super preggo. It's gonna be twins apparently," Natlee tells them.
Glyphe gasps!
"Double preggo!" Natlee squeals.
"Whoa, really?" Slicket boggles at Natlee. "Super preggo!"
"What is preggo…twins? OH!" Lihua gasps excitedly. "You mean pregnant!"
"But it's secret because like, stuff might go wrong and she doesn't wanna have to tell EVERYONE the bad news if it happens, you know? So you gotta not tell ANYONE," Natlee says, having just told four people at once.
"Wow, I want to congratulate her now," Slicket grins. "But I won't, because I'm great at secrets. Just like you."
Natlee nods. "Totally," she lies.
"That must be why she left Pandaria then, right?" Slicket says, thinking back. "Seemed kind of cagey about it in the newsletters, now that you mention it."
"When can we tell?" Glyphe asks.
"She is worried something will go wrong?" Lihua frowns. "I know some recipes that could help her!"
"I guess it'll go in a newsletter at some point. Maybe when the twins are like, six." Natlee is very dry. Figuratively. Literally, she is a bit damp.
"Maybe you could like… gift them to her, for no particular reason," Slicket suggests.
"Also they're going to call them Cobalt and Claret unless they're both girls or both boys. And I get to pick the middle names." A slow, evil smile creeps over her face.
"Whoa, what'd you trade for that?" Slicket asks, having maybe fallen back into goblin-city habits.
"My silence," Natlee says dryly.
Slicket chuckles.
"But of course you guys don't count; you're my besties," Natlee explains.
"Yeah, we won't tell anyone," Glyphe says.
"Yeah, you can count on us, of course," Slicket nods.
Slicket heaves a crate onto his shoulder and looks around. "Think that's about all we can carry, and we cleared out some giants. Let's head back."
As they approach Noggenfogger, Natlee adopts her most vapid and cutesy expression.
Slicket heaves his crates to the ground at Kelsey's feet, and gives a nice dumb bruiser grin in her direction.
Kelsey examines the crates. "Most of this looks just fine! How lucky! The Steamwheedle goblins will be so happy to see their cargo back safe and sound. As for the giants, it's going to be so much nicer around here now that they're gone! At least until more show up. But thank you! Now, we've got lots of other stuff to do! Busy busy!"
"Gosh, it's so fun to help out our Steamwheedle friends," Natlee says in a babydoll voice about half an octave higher than her usual, which was pretty high-pitched to begin with.
"Right, what's next?" Slicket dries his hands on his pant legs.
Kelsey's face goes almost comically distraught. "The pirate blockade has cost us more than supplies. I just got word that they sunk a whole goblin ship, leaving those poor goblins stuck out there in the water!"
"Oh man, poor goblins," Slicket nods.
"Poor goblins!" Natlee starts to cry.
"Pruney goblin skin." Glyphe makes a face.
"The Bilgewater goblin girl tried to rally a rescue team, but now those mean pirates are shooting at any boat that leaves the docks here," Kelsey pouts.
Natlee sniffles. Her teary eyes are approximately the size of planets.
Suddenly, Kelsey brightens. "I’ve got an idea – they won't expect us to fly! There's a hot air balloon by the docks. We can use that, fly over to rescue the goblins, and take care of the pirates, too. Mr. Noggenfogger will be so pleased!"
"Hooray!" Natlee cheers, bolstered by the exciting plan!
"Oh yeah, hot air balloons!" Slicket says.
"I've never been in one of those," Glyphe says.
Lihua clutches her hands worriedly, looking like a fluffy version of Natlee. "Poor goblins. We'll help them!"
"Go to the docks and hop in the balloon and I'll be right behind you, okay? I've got to get some rockets…" Kelsey waves, and then turns to wander off in the direction of explosives.
"A hot air balloon? Fun!" Kalhidai says.
"Lihua has lots of hot air balloon experience probably!" Natlee says.
"That is true! In fact, I came from the Wandering Isle in a balloon." Lihua agrees.
"Was it awesome?" Natlee asks, confident the answer is yes.
"Maybe you should pilot!" Slicket suggests.
"I can try," Lihua says. "I learned a little about navigating a balloon."
The team arrives to a very gobliny hot air balloon with a patched fabric top and barrels of oil attached to the gondola.
Lihua looks up at the balloon. "This…looks different from a pandaren balloon. But do not worry! I believe I can pilot it."
"Let's give it a go," Slicket says, hopping into the basket and gesturing to the others to follow.
Kelsey comes barreling through, holding rockets, and vaults into the basket. "Here I am! Let's get those goblins rescued."
Lihua climbs in, taking a moment to inspect the controls. It's a little rocky as they launch, but she seems to manage it well enough.
"It's fun! the floor sways so you have to dance a bit!" Kalhidai says as the balloon moves towards the wreckage.
Natlee spends most of the ride studying Kelsey.
"BOOM!" Glyphe yells as she drops a life rocket. This may be inappropriate.
"Fly, goblins! Fly and be free!" Kalhidai cries out as they distribute rockets.
"That's the spirit," Kelsey says with a laugh, deploying another rocket with clear confidence.
"Say Lihua, do you know how to land a balloon?" Natlee asks.
Glyphe looks concerned.
"Well…yes. Sort of." Lihua says. "This would be my first landing…but I have seen it done."
"Um, are there parachutes on this thing?" Natlee says briskly.
Kelsey looks at Lihua, and straps a rocket to her own back. "We've got extra rescue rockets, just in case." She starts handing them out.
Natlee looks visibly relieved.
"Wow, rockets!" Glyphe says, strapping a rocket on also.
Lihua blinks. "You would rather strap yourself to a rocket than land with me?"
"Glyphe awaaayyyyyyy!"
Glyphe rockets off.
Glyphe would absolutely rather strap herself to a rocket. No offense.
"Sweet," Slicket says, strapping on his own rocket. "This is like being a rocket car."
Natlee straps on her rocket. "It's not that I lack faith," she says to Lihua, "Just… um I like to have a plan B."
Kelsey smiles sweetly at Lihua. "Just in case, friend."
Natlee does wait to see how the landing is turning out. To be nice.
Slicket looks eager to rocket, more for rocket enthusiasm than lack of faith, but he waits to see how the landing goes.
Glyphe's parachute deploys in the distance.
Tiny Glyphe does a tiny dance. Whee!
Kalhidai is also team rocket.
Lhilhi whoops and cheers as the rocket speeds across the bay, laughing when her parachute opens and lets her land soft on her hooves.
Lihua sighs as she starts to bring the balloon down. It's a bit fast. Okay, it's very fast. But in the last few moments she manages to slow the descent. Needless to say, hopefully nobody just ate.
Natlee looks a bit green. But she pats Lihua on the back. The lower back, which is all she can reach. "I knew you could do it!" she lies.
Slicket rocks back and forth to keep his feet during the landing, and then gives Lihua a thumbs up. "Best first landing ever!"
"It was definitely Lihua's best landing ever," Natlee quips.
"Heh! I did it!" Lihua beams. "I apologize if it was a little bumpy."
Slicket spots Lhilhi and Glyphe, and the groups meet up again, just outside Gadgetzan.
"Wasn't that great?!" Glyphe asks Lhilhi.
"Engineering! How Marvelous!" Kalhidai says.
Glyphe grins and waves. "The rocket was great. That was a good landing though, Lihua!"
"First times can be like that," Natlee says, smoothing her pigtails.
"It was great! And it looks like most of the goblins we helped made it back here and didn't blow up. We really showed that Bilgewater goblin girl! It's time for me to get back to diplomacy, but you all have given me some excellent ammunition," Kelsey says, and then blinks. "That is, I'm so sure Mister Noggenfogger's going to be ever so happy we saved the poor little goblins."
Natlee grins and then nods, wide-eyed.
"Why don't you get to know people in town, and see what you can help with?" Kelsey beams at the group. "I'll let you know when I've got another mission for you."
"Yes ma'am!" Natlee says with a salute.
"So, some of the goblins are with the Horde, and the others are on their own?" Lihua sighs. "I pity them. It is difficult to see one's people split so strongly."
Natlee pats Lihua gently. Patlee.
Slicket nods. "Yeah, it was just one cartel of them that joined up. Shame, really."
When they return, that menacing ponytailed goblin is lurking behind Megs again, her threatening gaze moving from one Cobalt member to the other as she stands with arms folded. She's dressed in black leather and has several piercings.
Slicket eyes Megs and the hostile goblin girl and backs away, gesturing to the team.
Glyphe huddles up.
Natlee follows Slicket with only a glance back at the Bilgewaters.
"Looks like she wants us to stick around," Slicket says. "I'd say watch your back, but also maybe ask a friend before you agree to any deals."
"Um, Lihua, I'd love to hang out and hear more about Pandaria," Natlee says, totally not worried Lihua is gonna get fleeced.
"I'm gonna go to the Inn and get a room in the shade," Glyphe announces.
"Let's go get settled in," Slicket says, with one more glance to the goblins before he heads towards the inn.
"Oh! Well, I can only tell you legends about Pandaria," Lihua says. "I have never been there. I grew up on the Wandering Isle."
"Well you can tell me about the isle then, and the legends!" Natlee says.
Lihua brightens "I would love to! You see, it all started when an explorer met a turtle…."