(2025-10-19) Veteran Turnips and Watermelon Boats (S18 E1 - White Squad Log)

Details

Author:	Luridel
Summary:	White Squad rescues some vegetables and does some pest control. Estel leads the team while Gwen is resting. Alysson builds a marmot village. Iphindra plays a game with a giant mushan. Shun is in the wrong genre. ~2.5k words.
Rating:	T for Teen

Arc: Season 18: The Valley and the Jungle

After the squads are given their assignments, White Squad splits up. Estel asks Iphindra to make sure Gwen gets settled and check up on her. Estel, Alysson, and Shun head down to the farmhouse.

The little farmhouse ahead is flanked by a crop of pink turnips the size of haystacks on one side, and watermelons the size of horses on the other. Chattering virmen loiter greedily on the outskirts.

Just outside the farmhouse is a morose young pandaren man in a green plaid flannel shirt. It’s nice that plaid flannel is universal. "Whoa." He stares at the strangers. "Who the — "

Alysson waves in greeting. "Ho there Pandarian!"

Shun looks up at the Pandaren coming out, "We are the help."

"Are you Ang? Your dad hasn't heard from you in a bit." Estel grins.

Ang's eyes narrow. "You're the 'help'? My father sent you? Pssh, he can be so nosy sometimes. I have everything under control here." His gaze darts anxiously to one side, just for a moment.

Everything is not under control.

Alysson points at the abundance of furry creatures. "Is this a critter farm?"

Shun watches as another pandaren goes about chasing the little critters.

"You sure?" Estel asks, sympathetically.

Ang winces at the term 'critter farm'. "All right, all right," Ang sighs. "I don’t have everything under control. I spent all morning fighting off virmen. I managed to clear them off my property, but they got away with some of my crops. They took them down to the river, to the south. I have no idea what they’re doing with them, but it’s probably not eating them. If my father wants his delivery now, I’m going to need a hand getting those crops back."

Shun looks back at the massive turnips. How the heck did the Virmen pull off that heist?

"I bet they grew a really big wheelbarrow from the ground an' put the plants in that," Alysson says, answering the unasked question.

"I guess we can always roll them," Estel says. "Look, we can help for free, don't worry about it. I'm Estel, this is Shun, that's Alysson."

Ang seems a little defeated. "Well, if you insist. Thank you."

Out in the yard, a woman in a red hat is brandishing a rake menacingly at some little brown rodents scurrying by. "Shoo! Shoo! Go away!" Maybe it isn't a critter farm after all.

"You good?" Estel checks.

"She does not seem good," Shun observes.

Ana Thunderfoot looks up at the group with exasperation and then blinks, startled. "Oh. I’m — well. If the virmen weren’t bad enough, the farmyard’s full of marmots. I don’t want to kill the cute little things, but they really are a nuisance."

"They're super cute," Estel agrees with similar reluctance.

Ana watches another marmot scamper past. "Maybe if we tried filling in their burrows with dirt?"

"Won't they just dig 'em again?" Alysson asks.

"Depending on the infestation, slaying is really the most effective way to —" Shun starts.

"Maybe," Ana says, and sighs. "But I have chores to do. And they're so cute."

Alysson stares at Shun with puppy eyes.

Shun sighs.

Estel stares at Shun with puppy eyes too. So cute.

Shun just. Grumbles. "I will relocate the creatures. But that will not stop them from just coming back if they choose," he shrugs.

Estel grins at him. "Look, it's what she asked for. I don't blame 'em not wanting to dispose of a lotta dead critters. Let's fill in some holes."

"A marmot village!" Alysson blurts. "We just gotta build 'em a marmot village where they can live in peace and fuzziness an' then they won't want to come back!"

Shun takes in a deep breath and starts capturing marmots and shadowstepping a distance away to drop them off. He does not punt them off the premises.

Estel borrows a shovel and shovels dirt into the marmot holes.

Alysson starts building dirt mounds at the drop-off site. He's helping.

Eventually, the yard is clear of marmots. For now. They do seem pretty disconcerted by Shun, but maybe they'll move into their new village eventually.

"Ugh, thank you so much," Ana says. "Now I can get back to my actual chores."

Shun lets out a breath once he finishes shadowstepping all over the place, returning to the others.

Estel leans her shovel up against a barrel. "Cheers."

Estel claps her hands. "Okay. To the river! Let's find some produce."

Shun grunts.

"We're producin' some produce for the producer man!" Alysson says eagerly.

Shun blinks at Alyssonn.

Estel grins at him. "Yeah!"

[Shun]: "What?"

"It's farmspeak," Alysson says sagely.

"…Alright," Shun says.

Down by the river, it looks like the virmen are putting little flags on sticks into the watermelons and letting them float like a fleet of ships.

Alysson stares at them, then breaks into a huge grin. "That looks fun! They're sailin' the watermelons!"

Shun tilts his head at the sight of that.

Estel laughs. "Aww, they are!"

"Boats go faster if take leafs off," one of the virmen says. "Look how slow your boat go."

"I feel kinda bad interruptin' 'em," Alysson says.

"We have a job to do," Shun grunts.

"Same," Estel agrees. "But. Okay! Race is over!" She claps her hands loudly, drawing the attention of the virmen… who attack.

Estel tosses out a handful of spectral feathers, levitating the team so that they can gather the watermelon boats from the lake.

Alysson hefts a watermelon and looks it over. "I gotta try this sometime."

"Yeah," Estel says. She picks up a watermelon under each arm. "Alright, let's drop these off and we can go look for turnips."

Shun nods, carrying his own set of watermelons.

It takes two trips without a cart, but they get the watermelons back to the farm and set off to look for the stolen turnips.

They find a massive entrance to an underground burrow.

"Hey, they got a hole," Alysson says, pointing.

"Big hole," Shun notes.

It's a big hole.

The virmen are incredibly aggressive as they defend the giant hole in the ground. "First kill turnips! Then kill pandaren that grows them!"

"Kill turnip…?" Shun blinks.

"That doesn't sound too nice," Alysson says, frowning.

"Well," Estel says, and starts to pick her way down into the hole.

In the underground burrow, virmen kick at a pile of turnips. "We murder every turnip! Turnips must be punished!"

"These turnips are much smaller. Still massive, though," Shun notes.

"Okaaay," Estel says. "I guess we can bring more than one back at a time." She wades into the mess of virmen, who swarm her.

"They are not even eating them," Shun says.

"First aid?" Alysson asks, rushing to the side of a battered turnip. "Can we heal 'em?"

"Kill ALL the turnips!" shouts one of the virmen, and attacks the team.

"Heal…what?" Shun blinks.

"They've already been picked," Estel says. "Whoever's gonna cook 'em can just cut away the bruised bits."

Estel gathers up the least damaged turnips she can.

"I think we have salvaged what we could," Shun says.

Alysson whispers to his turnips, "Don't worry fellows, we're gonna get you some help."

"Yeah, let's get these back." Estel tilts her head towards the exit.

Iphi runs to the group, still wearing a draenei mask. "H- hi! They told me you'd be here. Gwen is resting peacefully, n- now."

"Hey! Glad you made it," Estel says from behind a mountain of turnips in her arms.

Shun grunts.

"Aw, thanks for lookin' after her," Alysson says with a smile.

Ang is waiting hopefully on the stairs. He brightens at the sight of the vegetables White Squad is carrying. "Oh, perfect!"

"Let me help!" Plants grab some of the turnips in Estel's arms to help carry a few of them.

"Whoa. Oh, thanks." Estel sets down the rest near Ang.

Ang surveys the bruised turnips more closely. "… what were they doing down there?"

"Attacking them," Shun deadpans.

"We've had some casualties," Alysson reports. "The turnips put up a good fight."

"…No they did not?" Shun says, puzzled.

"Shhhh!" Alysson hisses. "It's for their loved ones."

Shun seems even more confused.

"They said they wanted to kill all turnips and the pandaren that grew them," Estel reports. "So we killed a lot of virmen instead."

Ang sighs and begins arranging the damaged produce carefully in a crate, so that the least-damaged parts of each vegetable are what’s visible.

Iphi's eyes widen slightly. This doesn't make much sense, to her. Turnips are innocent.

Estel, as the only person who understands exactly what everybody is getting at, helpfully says nothing.

"Okay," Ang says. "You can bring this up to my father now. And thanks again for helping with the virmen."

The crate is very heavy. Estel goes to fetch her ram. "No problem! Later, later."

Menace has trampled a virmen to death with her hooves. She looks up at Estel innocently, then huffs in mild outrage as Estel straps the crate to her ram's back and walks alongside.

"D- do you want my friend to carry it?" Iphi gently pats the bear on the shoulder.

Menace tries to tip over the crate immediately. "Shit," Estel mutters. "Okay, yeah, maybe Iphi's friend."

"Probably for the better," Shun nods.

Alysson grins at the ram.

The bear grunts at the brutal murder. If she is not as evil as that ram, and she's a war polar bear. Iphi goes to take the crate and puts it on the polar bear's back.

The crate is safely relocated to a more peaceful animal.

Pang brightens at the returning squad and their vegetables. "Ho ho! Now that’s what I like to see! Do I smell fresh turnips?" He rubs his hands together.

"Uh, yeah," Estel says, tying her ram up. She helps Iphi unload the crate from her bear friend and carry it over.

Iphi happily carries the crate with Estel. She smiles, but it's not visible behind the mask. She's an expressionless draenei right now.

"Well, I dunno about fresh, they're sorta battle-worn," Alysson admits. "Fresh… from war, maybe?"

Pang begins inspecting the vegetables more closely. He frowns. "What the — " He picks out a turnip, rotating it to show the bruised side. "Fresh from the war?"

"Virmen were attacking them," Shun deadpans. "For some reason."

"In a valiant battle to decide the fate of turnipkind, they fought on the side of veggie justice," Alysson says.

Pang sighs. "Well, it’s not a total waste. My nephew Liang always needs vegetables to feed his pigs." He glances to the west again. "Unfortunately, the road to his place is completely swarmed by Snagtooth virmen right now. I’d rather get these to him without the delay, so we’re going to have to ask Miss Fanny to help us out. I’ll just get her to come over here next to the house, and you can ask her nicely to get this food down to Liang’s place for us."

Shun runs a hand through his hair, furrowing his brow.

"Ah, there she is!" says Pang fondly as a massive mushan beast lumbers complacently into view. She goes around the side of the house, making a slow but definite beeline for the hay where Muno the Farmhand waits.

Iphi beams at the mushan beast. "Whoa!"

"Okay," Estel says, carrying the crate with Iphindra towards Miss Fanny.

Iphindra is still happily carrying the crate. Yeah, crate carrying!

Alysson stares at Miss Fanny. "She's beautiful…" he says.

"She is, right?!" Iphi beams. "Look at her…"

"Hi," Estel says to Miss Fanny. "Soooo… do you want to carry this crate?"

"I do not see any place to strap this onto her," Shun notes.

Miss Fanny snorts and waggles her tail.

[Shun]: "…"

"Er…" Estel sets the heavy crate down. "I don't know what you mean."

"Oh, she's going to throw the vegetables!" Iphindra explains. "Look, it's a game for her! That's it, right?" She puts a hand on Miss Fanny's head.

Miss Fanny licks Iphindra's Hallow's End mask.

Alysson steps back to watch.

"Huh! Okay." Estel gestures to the crate. "Okay, Iphindra, you're up."

Iphindra's mask MELTS when wet. She is now maskless, but giggles.

Miss Fanny licks some grass to get the weird mask taste off her tongue.

Iphi puts a watermelon in front of Miss Fanny. She hits it moderately, but it EXPLODES. "Hm."

"…………" Shun just STARES.

"What if she hits it softer?" Alysson asks.

Estel winces. "Uh, more gentle!"

"This seems. Really ill advised…" Shun mutters.

Miss Fanny seems aware that she has failed the game. She snuffles and looks at the crate. Can she try again?

"She's just gotta get a good feel for it, see?" Alysson says.

"A- anybody wants to try?" Iphi offers.

"Sure," Estel says, and sets another watermelon down for Miss Fanny. "Careful, now." She steps back.

Miss Fanny smacks the watermelon with less force. It doesn't make it as far through the air, but it lands on the hill so that it rolls down the rest of the way into the farm, intact.

Alysson cheers. "She got it!"

Iphindra claps. "Yay!"

Miss Fanny makes a rumbling noise. Maybe she's purring.

Shun is just dumbfounded.

"Great job," Estel says, and passes her the rest of the watermelons in the batch one at a time.

"Alright, what else we got? Turnips? She can hit them a bit stronger. They're war hardened," Alysson says.

Estel nods to Alysson. "Sure. You give her the turnips."

"That's a g- great idea!" Iphi nods.

Alysson collects a turnip and, confirming Miss Fanny is ready, gently tosses the turnip to her.

Miss Fanny smacks the turnip. It lands in the farm!

Shun sighs and starts lugging over the spicy tofu pot.

Iphi giggles. "This is s- so much fun!"

Iphi looks excitedly at Shun and the spicy tofu pot.

"Make sure the lid's on tight," Estel says to Shun. "That's gonna be messy."

Shun doesn't seem very amused at all, "Got it."

Alysson is grinning from ear to ear. He eagerly watches the tofu pot.

Miss Fanny wiggles in anticipation.

"Just. Hit this shit as hard as you can or something," he tells Miss Fanny.

Miss Fanny SMACKS the tofu pot. There it goes! It lands in a cushion of turnips, the lid only slightly ajar.

Shun watches as the massive pot goes sailing, "This is really reckless."

Estel flashes a thumbs-up to Pang. "We got it!"

Iphi claps again, jumping excitedly.

Pang Thunderfoot smiles at the group. "Thank you. Dinner will be ready soon, if you'd like to stay for turnip stew or spicy tofu."

"Dinner!" Alysson invites himself inside.

"Thanks!" Estel says. "Okay, I think we're done. I'm gonna go check on Gwen." She pauses and looks at Shun, then holds a hand out to him.

Shun takes her hand.

"Go- good idea! Do you need any help?" Iphi offers.

"Could you grab her a glass of water?" Estel asks Iphindra. "Cold water if they've got it cold."

Iphi nods and goes to get water, preferably cold.

"I bet there's some in the fish barrel," Alysson says.

Estel pulls Shun in and leans her forehead against his. "Thanks," she says to him.

Shun just tilts his head at her, but then nods.