(2025-05-11) Shadow Evaluation

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Author:	Luridel
Summary:	While many of Cobalt Company's finest are off in the Firelands, Estel drops in to visit Sandy and see if he's using Shadow safely so that she can write him an all-is-well letter of recommendation. ~3.1k words.
Rating:	T for Teen

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discussion of romantic breakup, discussion of cult recruitment tactics

Sandy paces up and down his room, back at his mother's in Stormwind.

Recently, he sent a letter to Estel, inviting her to test his abilities as a shadow priest. It is time for him to prove he could still be useful to the Company. A word of protection from the shadows, a dark blessing, another prayer of protection, taking his shadowform… Sandy switches from one spell to the other at a quite impressive rate. He has to handle them even more perfectly when Estel arrives!

To better prepare, he put on a beautiful, white mage robe with light grey embroidery. He'll look very Light-oriented this way!

He never puts his hair up into a ponytail anymore, and it seems it's grown quite long in the past year. He takes a few deep breaths, drops his shadowform, and casts a renew spell on himself.

He's mastered it all!

Estel, standing outside the front door, doesn't look particularly Light-oriented. Or Shadow-oriented. She's wearing running shoes and a light blue dress that ends just past her knees. It's too short to be called a robe. She rings the bell and waits to be let inside, rocking back and forth on her heels.

Quickly, Estel is welcomed inside by Florendine, the Spellbond butler. This isn't her first time here, since she helped Ekorenine locate Sandy. Swiftly, the butler offers her anything Estel may require while leading her to Sandy's room.

Estel greets Florendine cheerfully, but declines the offer of refreshments. For now. "Sandy!" she calls, knocking on his door.

Sandy sprints at the door and slings it open abruptly. "Estel, hi!" He welcomes her inside. "I'm glad you could come. That was short notice, so I'm happy to see you here!"

Estel heads on in and gives him a big hug. "Yeah, no problem! How've you been?"

Sandy hugs her tight. He takes a deep breath at that question, letting go of the hug. "Okay. And you?"

"I'm good," Estel says cheerfully. "Ain't seen you in ages! You've been busy learning Light and Shadow?"

"Yeah!" He nods, now excited too. "I've been practicing, and I really need that recommendation letter to let the Company know I've been doing it safely, too!"

Estel grins at him. "Who's your teacher?"

Sandy winces. Ouch. Not that question. "Someone… who wishes to remain anonymous!" He nods vehemently. "They've had issues with having too many students, and they want to reduce the number of students they have." He shakes his head quickly. "Actually, doesn't matter anymore, I don't work with them now!"

"Hey," Estel says, folding her arms with a smile. "Sandy. I'm not gonna get you or them in trouble, yeah? You don't have to tell me what you think I wanna hear. I'd rather have the truth, okay? I'm not gonna be weird about it."

Sandy looks at her with puppy eyes. "Don't put her name on the recommendation letter, okay?" He sighs. "I studied with Dark Cleric Oryena. She's a priestess of the Cult of Forgotten Shadows. An undead elf."

"Okay," Estel says. "And how come she didn't wanna write you a recommendation letter? Did you ask an' get refused, or were you just worried that Cobalt Company would be biased against a letter of rec from somebody with 'dark cleric' and 'cult' in their name and title?"

Sandy looks at her in confusion. "I… wait…" He looks like he's making calculations in his mind. "The tensions with the Horde are at an all time high! People are going to think I'm a traitor for working for one of them. Especially a Forsaken!" He shakes his head, his hand on his forehead. "People will leave you for that, you know?"

"Hey, hey." Estel pats his arm. "Let's sit down, yeah? It's gonna be okay."

Sandy sits down right there. On the floor, taking a long time to do so.

Estel plops right down next to him, cross-legged. "It's gonna be okay, Sandy. Did you work for her, or did she teach you?"

He takes a deep breath. "She taught me," He looks up to the roof. "I did give her a book or two from the Spellbond library, though…"

Estel nods. "That seems reasonable. I wouldn't expect a teacher to work for free by default, yeah?"

Sandy nods. "Right." He turns his head abruptly to look at Estel. "You can't tell the others , okay? I lost Gwen to… all of this." He shakes his head. "I can't take a chance with everyone else in my life like that. I need that letter to be from you."

Estel looks at him in shock. "You lost Gwen? To what? Studying with a Forsaken priest?"

Sandy shrugs. "For being part of the Cult of Forgotten Shadows. Because I turned to the Shadows after deciding to stop using the Fel… Maybe she just didn't love me anymore before that, and that's okay. I'm over it." His eyes get teary, his jaw clenches. He's not over it.

"Oh, Sandy," Estel says, and scoots closer to offer him another hug. "That sucks. I'm sorry."

Sandy takes the hug. He hugs her very tightly, and sheds a few tears in silence. He sniffs. "I'm not making a good job of showing you I'm a strong-willed, controlled shadow priest, uh?"

"We haven't gotten to that part yet," Estel says, comforting. "We'll get there. Right now we're just being friends first, yeah? You're allowed to be upset. You don't have to be over it yet. You and Gwen were together for a while."

Sandy says silent for a bit, still holding onto that hug. "The worst thing is, I thought the news would make her happy, too…"

"You tried to surprise her with it?" Estel sighs. "Maybe she wanted to know earlier, either to be included in the decision-making process or at least… get to express her opinion. I dunno. I'm real sorry to hear it, though, Sandy."

Sandy lets go of the hug. "It wasn't meant to be a surprise, I just… Kept it a secret because Oryena asked that I do. And I wanted to make sure I was on the right path before I told her." He scratches the back of his neck. "I wanted to be sure I wasn't making a mistake again."

"Well," Estel says, "I'm generally not a big fan of joining cults, whether they have 'cult' in the name or not." She smiles at Sandy. "It's always gonna be a bit of a balancing act between Light and Shadow if you wield both. Did Oryena say stuff like 'don't tell your loved ones, they won't understand'?"

"I mean, kinda," Sandy says, his shoulders going up. "She doesn't say much, she took a vow of silence. But when I said I was going to tell Gwen, she very sternly shook her head. And her assistant said to not tell mom, because Oryena was interested in those banned books I could get her."

"That's kind of a classic cult manipulation tactic," Estel says. "To try and isolate you, to make you feel like they're the only people you can trust."

"To be fair…" Sandy chuckles. "They never did anything to look particularly trustworthy." He bites his lower lips. "And I still believe in what they said. I may even teach others what they taught me."

"So what did they say?" Estel asks. "What were their core beliefs that you think are worth teaching?"

Sandy pauses to think about where to start, raising his eyes up to the ceiling. "That it's up to us mortals to change the world as we see fit, that we only have the power to make reality what we want it to be, if our will is strong enough." He pauses again, for a bit. "That the Light and the Shadow, they're tools for us to use and to balance to reach our true potential."

"Yeah," Estel says. "That's pretty accurate, actually."

"Ah! See?" Sandy chuckles. "Just because they've got 'cult' in their name doesn't mean that they're bad!" His chuckle turns a little sour, though.

"I think the bit about 'reaching your true potential' feels a little bit cult-y," Estel says thoughtfully. "In that it's the sort of thing a cult would want, for their members to become more powerful for a potential future purpose. I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting to become the best version of yourself you can be. And they may both be tools to use, but they're also fundamental forces of the universe, yeah? Balance is real important."

Sandy tilts his head. "Hmmm. I guess it can sound a little cult-y, yeah." He nods. "And clearly, I still respect the Light a lot. Even more than before! I struck balance! But it does answer the call of some pretty bad people, so it does seem like some… fundamental force that's giving us some space to do as we want, you know?"

"Yeah," Estel agrees. "The church will say that the Light guides you in directions, and maybe it does for some folks who need it, and that's great for them. I've always been pretty good at choosing my own directions."

"It sounds like it, yeah!" Sandy smiles. He pauses for a bit. "So, sounds like I'm on the right track to getting my recommendation, uh?"

"Yeah," Estel says. "Do you wanna show me some skills now?"

Sandy gets up. "What do you want to see first? Shadowform? A shadow fiend? A blessing? A shield?"

Estel hops to her feet and cracks her knuckles. "What blessings can you do? Go ahead."

"On you?" he asks.

"On both of us!" Estel says cheerfully.

Sandy grins. "Okay!" He whispers a shadowy version of power word of fortitude, bringing both of them a sense of fear, of urgency, raising their adrenaline. Fight or flight! After that, he throws in a fear ward, protecting them from the flight response.

Estel jumps a little, then settles back on her heels. "Whoa. Okay. Little unexpected, but that would definitely wake me the hell up if I were tired."

Sandy grins. "And when you're in a state of fear, you feel pain a little less, so it helps you pull through harder battles!"

Estel nods. "That won't work well for everybody," she warns him. "Do you know any Light blessings? I can try'n teach you, if not."

"Not really, no," Sandy shakes his head. "For blessings, the Forsaken I trained with would rather not… hurt themselves with the Light!"

"Okay," Estel says. "Remind me about Fortitude." She actually says the Power Word this time, and the echo of it resonates in the air, filling herself and Sandy with additional stamina. The energy to run just a little further and try just a little harder is there. "Show me a shield next?" she suggests.

Sandy nods his head repeatedly, feeling the surge of energy through him. "Okay, this blessing is good too!" He chuckles. "A shield, coming right up!" Focusing on his desires to prove himself, on his strength as a priest, and on his desire to protect his friends, Sandy closes his eyes, raises a head, and a bubble of Light appears around Estel.

Estel smiles and does a little twirl in place. "Great! Shadowform?"

"That one I mastered months ago!" Sandy exclaims excitedly. "Ready?" He asks.

Sandy lets his head hang back, taking a deep breath. He tenses his neck. Mentally, he lets himself fall into the shadow. Into all his darkest moments, his darkest fears, thoughts. He feels the void swallow him whole in enticing whispers. Just as he's on the brink of losing himself in that emptiness, he conjures a light, right above himself. He reaches to grab it and as his fingers wrap around it, his physical form takes on a shadowy form. Tendrils emerge from his body and warp themselves in twisted shapes. Ghostly horns seem to sprout on his forehead, wings extend from his hips, and a tail grow from his back. Dark red eyes stare at Estel from the cloudy figure that is now Sandy. "So, what do you think? Nailed it, right?"

"Huh!" Estel looks him over. "Nailed it. That's cool, I never get a tail or horns. I wonder if it's related to your perception of yourself…?" The shadows of the room seem to lurch out of position and strain towards Estel for a moment before she, too, is in Shadowform - a much more mundane version, like a shadowy version of herself. It's very generic, and it seems to take her a lot less strain - but then again, she's been doing this for many, many years.

Sandy shrugs. "I don't know! I've been told that once you use the Fel, you can never recover from it, so I guess it's that energy's way of manifesting itself, even when I'm not using it?" His tone is fast and he doesn't stop to take a breath. He seems to have put a lot of thought into that explanation, even though he tries to say it so nonchalantly.

Sandy stops to admire Estel as she transforms. "You make it look effortless! Your connection to the Shadow must be so intense!"

"Hm, maybe." Estel shrugs, accepting the explanation for now. She shifts from foot to foot, considering. "I dunno if I'd use the word 'intense' about it. It's… old, I guess. When I learned, as a kid, it was through… isolation, loneliness, I guess? So I draw on that, a bit."

"Oh," Sandy's red eyes widen. "I guess I can do that." His shadowform fades away as he focuses on all he loves in life. His family, his friends, the Company. "I'll try this, next time."

Estel's voice sounds a bit more distant in her Shadowform, like she's speaking a step removed from herself. "Both Light and Shadow can be intense, but they don't have to be, not all the time."

"Not all the time? How so?" Sandy tilts his head. "It all feels so powerful to me, at all times. Especially the Shadow. It feels like a powerful pull whenever I use it."

Estel considers this, shifting from foot to foot. "They're both very powerful forces. But you only reach for what you need, ideally. Your feelings are what strengthens your magic. Don't let it pull you. You need to pull it." Estel pauses. "That sounds a little easier said than done, doesn't it? Try that Shadowform again."

Sandy frowns a little, trying to understand how to pull the void to him, and not fall into it. Then, he remembers what Oryena showed him. The Shadows are all around them, the shadows are the physical world itself. Unlike the distant Light, it's just here, at his finger tip. He closes his eyes, searches for the void he's now used to fall into, and before even beginning his descent, extends a hand and grabs it with all his strength. His shadowform appears briefly, a blink-and-you'll-miss-it moment.

"I did it!" He says, opening his eyes. "I felt it!"

Estel, who was watching, does not miss it. She beams and bounces on her feet, finally dropping her own Shadowform. "You did it!"

Sandy joins her and bounces on his feet as well. He smiles at her. "What next?"

"Well, you said you could call a shadowfiend, so how about that?" Estel suggests.

"Of course!" Sandy doesn't concentrate much on that spell. Summoning comes to him naturally. Pulling from the nearby shades, a shadowfiend appears. It crawls up to Estel then flops to the ground. It's not particularly stable, but it's there!

"Aw, hey, little buddy," Estel says. She slips into Shadowform again and crouches down to offer it scritches.

It accepts the scritches. It's unclear if it even feels the scritches but they are accepted nonetheless. "And it can fight too! I, uh…" Sandy scratches the back of his neck. "I promise."

"Who's a good little guy who knows how to differentiate between friend and foe? You are!" Estel coos to the Shadowfiend like one might speak to a puppy. "Sounds good to me."

Sandy beams. That went well again! The shadowfiend has some odd spasms. Sandy clears his throat to try and distract Estel. "Next spell? Or do you think I'm doing enough a great job already?"

Estel stands up. "You got anything else that isn't offensive casting?" she asks.

"This!" Sandy takes a feather from under Dragon's tree. The feather is consumed in shadows, and he begins defying gravity.

Estel drops her Shadowform and grins at him. "Nice! Oh, that's fantastic, it might help you get some weight off your leg if it's hurting."

"That's why I was really excited about learning this one," Sandy nods. "Plus it looks pretty cool, right?"

"Yeah!" Estel gives him a thumbs-up. "Okay, I think I've got enough to write you that letter. It's kind of weird that you need one in the first place? Nobody wrote me a recommendation letter."

Sandy gives a big, slow shrug. "I think they've gotten more strict. With all the warlock… incidents," he gulps rather loudly. "Maybe that also impacts shadow priests? Plus I kind of… turned into a demon without warning people. So…" He winces, then quickly, his face turns into a bright smile. "But thank you so much for the letter! That's really kind of you!"

"So they're worried about you in particular," Estel says, nodding. "Okay. I guess… I can't blame 'em for caring, yeah? Because I know Jo, and Elo, and Ben, and I know they just want you to be okay. But I hope that isn't wearing on you too much. There's a line between healthy concern and treating a grown-ass adult like a kid, and I sure hope they're still on the former side of that line."

Sandy looks off to the side. "I didn't think they were doing this for me… specifically. So I think that means it hasn't bothered me too much, right?" He seems unsure, now. "But I mean, I can be pretty childish sometimes, you know?"

"Well," Estel says thoughtfully, "It's true that we ain't got a lot of Shadow priests. I didn't write Almeiria a letter of recommendation, but I did kinda vouch for her a while back." Estel smiles at Sandy. "I mean, you're younger than me, yeah? That's okay, though."

"Then maybe they didn't need a recommendation letter from you because you're their resident shadow priest expert!" He chuckles. "Not by that much, right?"

"How old are you?" Estel checks.

"Twenty-three!" He grins.

"I'm turning thirty-one this month." Estel grins back. "So not by thaaaat much."

"Yeah!" Sandy chuckles. You're younger than my older brother!"

Estel nods. "So," she says, rubbing her hands together. "Work done! I want snacks now."

"I know just what to do to celebrate!" Sandy grins. He rushes to the door and opens it wide open. "Florendiiiiine," he yells. "Bring us your best snacks!"