(2025-03-27) Anareline's Unsent Letters, Letter 7

Details

Author:	Alli
Summary:	Anareline writes a letter to her shalan, Caspis, which she will not directly give him. One hopes he will read it anyway.
Rating:	T for Teen

Chain: Anareline's Unsent Letters

+ Show additional content warnings

romance, emotional distress

In a notebook, left carelessly in her bag where Caspis might read it.

Caspis,

I know you are suffering. I have never been skilled with the spoken word, and you know how I avert my eyes from complexity and pain, even in myself. It is a habit I have recognized now and try to resist, but I still know that my words hurt others as often as they heal them. I will try to write, instead, in the hopes that I may express myself more fully.

I know what it is like to be disregarded. I lost my first family because they trusted a beautiful lie over simple words spoken by one they claimed to love. Even as the demons filled the streets, even as children died, I watched those I loved follow an illusion to their doom, rather than listen to me. I know what it is like to be an unheard voice in the void.

I have always believed you. I knew little of druid matters when we met, but when you told me of Fandral Staghelm’s unfitness, of his arrogance and his mistakes, I accepted that you spoke the truth. We had our long revolution, do you remember? You and Imrolane and I. Because removing him would mean nothing if we did not also remove those who followed him blindly. Teaching the next generation of druids better, raising a Circle that would naturally oust him.

And then there was the Nightmare, and Stormrage awoke, and Staghelm and his followers were removed from power, and I wish that had been the end of it. Perhaps at some point in history he could have been healed, if he had embraced humility over arrogance, if he had not been left so long with power. But I believe you, over Stormrage, that even at that point he was beyond it. He has proven so, for all with closed ears then to see now with open eyes.

And then, I have failed you. As you protected Florande, I failed Leyara. I know it is not the same. Florande’s pain we have an answer for, and she had already put her faith in you. Leyara was always his creature, his family. Still, I hoped that she was not beyond reach, that her grief could heal. And now others are dead, or burned, for my hopes of mercy. Their blood and pain is on my hands, and I see the doubt in the eyes of my team.

I have justifications. We moved at the behest of the Cenarion Circle. Stormrage bid us hold. Runetotem should not have followed us. We did not know she had such power. But they are only excuses, and the fault is mine. For the future, I must regain the faith of my team, or they will have no reason to follow me. The only answer I can offer is no more mercy. Not for Leyara, nor for any of the Druids of the Flame, nor for Cerelar. And I have never had any mercy to offer Staghelm.

Part of me wonders if we should postpone our bondmate ceremony, until after you are better and I have proven myself. But then, I do not bind my life to yours for only when you are well and I am proud. It is for always, through darkness and doubt and pain, as well as light and happiness. It is to say that your heart and mine are one, and that we will strengthen one another, hold each other up during the hardest days. And if instead we burn to ash together, still I will have no regrets.

So yes, let us have our ceremony. Let it be a reminder that I will always choose you, that I will always believe you, over all others. Unless you object, I would also share your name. I have been Evensong for over ten thousand years. It is a name that carries with it all my years of isolation, and an identity I was not willing to compromise for anyone. A woman alone, who needed no one. I did not change my name for Cerelar. I offer this to you.

Let me be Anareline Silvershade, the woman you love, forever.