![](http://cobalt-company.wdfiles.com/local--resized-images/writing:2024-08-12-chapter-xii:bad-news-in-blackrock-mountai/style="margin:/medium.jpg) |
| Details |
| Author: | Alli |
| Summary: | The team heads into the spires of Blackrock Mountain to investigate two notable missing black dragon skulls. The spires are still very inhabited by the denizens of the Dark Horde, as well as an uncomfortable ally. |
| Rating: | T for Teen |
Arc: The Cobalt Blade
The team assembles at the Iron Summit.
Tadget salutes Thalstan with respect.
[Thalstan]: Alright, everyone ready to go back into Blackrock Mountain?
[Zaara]: Yes!
[Tadget]: I may as well build a summer home there.
The team heads cheerfully to Blackrock mountain and begins following the walkway in a circle as they speak.
[Zaara]: No, no! It is too hot for summer home. Build winter home.
[Tadget]: Oooh, good thinkin'.
[Thalstan]: Aye the lava would help wi' the cold.
[Tadget]: I once had a prophetic dream that took place in Blackrock Mountain, did I ever tell you that?
[Thalstan]: A prophetic dream?
Vesyllah peers at Tadget. "Are you pregnant again?"
[Tadget]: What? No.
[Zaara]: What?! Oh.
[Thalstan]: No' all prophets are pregnant.
[Tadget]: I'm talking about a prophetic dream I had before I had my kids.
[Tadget]: My son showed up in a weird Blackrock Mountain dream before he was born.
[Thalstan]: Oh… really? An ye recognize 'im from it now?
[Tadget]: Yeah, the kid looked just like Finn but with green eyes?
[Tadget]: And he's kind of turning out like that.
[Tadget]: Well green eyes and no moustache. Yet.
[Thalstan]: I hope it was a happy dream then, fer the kid's sake.
[Zaara]: How old will he get moustache?
[Tadget]: I'm honestly a little surprise they didn't all three come out of the womb with magnificent moustaches.
[Tadget]: Oh um… maybe fifteen years or so?
[Zaara]: Oh! That is so young!
[Tadget]: Draenei…
[Tadget]: For a gnome, by the time you're fifteen you're almost grown up.
[Thalstan]: Do draenei get mustaches? I've no' seen one with 'em.
[Tadget]: I have!
[Zaara]: Yes but they are not very good.
[Tadget]: Yeah I agree.
[Tadget]: Not gnome quality and definitely not dwarf quality.
[Thalstan]: Hm. Maybe tentacles are a better draenei look.
[Tadget]: Oh yeah, some of them really rock some chin tentacles.
[Zaara]: I hear that dwarf and gnome and even sometimes human moustaches are very good. But on a draenei a moustache is not a thing I have liked. Tentacles, yes! Very handsome.
Thalstan nods seriously at Zaara. "Ye can leave the hair to the dwarves an' the gnomes."
Tadget nods at you.
[Tadget]: Dwarves are kind of the experts at hair.
[Thalstan]: Alright, we're ta head up into the spire today, where the forces with Nefarian used ta be.
[Tadget]: Gnome moustaches aren't as thick, but they are better styled.
[Tadget]: We are amazing at styling facial hair.
We turn onto a path that leads up a ramp, and there are ax-wielding orc guards visible.
[Thalstan]: Orcs up ahead.
We kill them, and then continue into the spires.
[Vesyllah]: And what exactly have we returned to this hellhole for?
[Thalstan]: I got the briefing from our leaders -it's a Nefarian thing.
[Vesyllah]: That doesn't explain much, Thal.
[Thalstan]: Turns out somebody stole Nefarian's head from Orgrimmar, and Onyxia's from Stormwind.
[Zaara]: What? Who will want heads?
[Vesyllah]: His head?
[Tadget]: I got the deets from my husband, who was the one who gave the deets to the Captain.
[Zaara]: Deets!
Thalstan grins at Tadget. "Aye, a certain benefactor o' Cobalt came by ta tell of it, from what I hear."
[Tadget]: I feel like our meeting was a little more fun, though.
[Tadget]: Than the official one.
[Vesyllah]: Ugh….
[Tadget]: You'd have liked it, Ves.
[Tadget]: Really depraved.
[Vesyllah]: Was there bloodletting?
[Tadget]: Wait, what's that?
Tadget points to a message.
[Thalstan]: So aye, we're ta see what's up in the spires. They've always been more Dark Horde up this way, an' less Dark Iron.
[Zaara]: Bloodletting is when you — oh?
[Vesyllah]: Sometimes.
Tadget grabs the message, written in orcish, and tucks it away. "No idea what that says, but I'll bring it back to HQ in case it's important."
[Thalstan]: Good thought. We want ta learn more of what's goin' on here.
[Tadget]: This place sucks just as much as I remember.
An orc sits slumped by the wall just inside the next doorway, wearing strangely incongruous red robes that would mark him as a caster of some sort.
[Tadget]: Watch out. Orc.
The orc steps closer to the group and says quietly, “Cobalt Company? Is that you? I’ve been told by a mutual friend to expect you.”
[Tadget]: I - what now?
[Thalstan]: Whoa. Yer not gonna attack on sight?
[Tadget]: I thought the Horde was back to wanting us all dead.
Zaara steps back from the orc, her expression smoothing coolly.
The orc looks over the very Alliance group and hastily adds, “Do not be alarmed. I am not as I appear. My name is Acridostrasz, though you may call me Acride.”
[Tadget]: Wait.
[Tadget]: WAIT.
[Thalstan]: Wait. Why do ye look like… wait.
[Tadget]: You had options and you chose to be an orc?
[Tadget]: That's… worse.
[Zaara]: It is not…? Oh!
Acride says: Don't you think I might attract attention, if I looked like anything else in this place? *That doesn't really answer the question, Acride*
[Tadget]: Hm. I guess so.
[Arthur]: Though it's probably the best way to blend in here, come to think of it.
[Tadget]: Okay, so what's goin' on?
Acride says: My Queen sent me here to keep an eye on black dragon activity. It has been quieter, since the Horde slew Nefarian, but the spires have been bustling with activity again in recent months.
[Tadget]: Uggggh, black dragons are the worst.
[Thalstan]: Bustling is not a good sign.
[Tadget]: Yeah, we don't want them bustling.
[Zaara]: Bustling is so bad.
Tadget nods at Zaara.
Acride says: That was not always the case, but… I must agree with you today, black dragons are the worst. If the Dark Horde here is once again driven by the black dragons, there’s no telling what they have planned.
Acride says: And I've also spotted Twilight's Hammer around the complex. One group in particular, a while back, transporting what looked like dragon skulls.
[Vesyllah]: Dragon skulls…
Acride says: The spires are so active, though, that I cannot make my way in alone. I am not even as powerful as Vaelastrasz was, and I expect you have heard what happened to him.
[Zaara]: No! What happened?
[Tadget]: Uggggggggh. This is just as much of a fustercluck as I was afraid of.
[Tadget]: Yeah um… I was there. I think.
[Tadget]: Unless something else happened to him since then.
Acride says: Oh… you were? That was… so terribly sad.
[Zaara]: What was?
[Tadget]: Uh, he got… like… possessed or something and we had to kill him.
[Tadget]: Black dragons drove him cuckoo.
[Tadget]: Took like… 40 of us to kill him.
[Zaara]: Oh! *Zaara nods solemnly.* Cuckoos. Very sad.
Acride says: I am grateful to you and your people for bringing him peace, though I wish he could have been freed.
Acride says: For the time being, if you could help me clear out some of the rabble, maybe we could get far enough into the mountain to see what the dragons have planned?
Acride says: It's mostly Dark Horde, from what I can tell. Orcs, ogres, trolls… oh, do any of you speak Orcish?
[Arthur]: Not me.
Zaara's lip curls.
[Vesyllah]: A few swear words, but that's about it.
Acride says: Hmm, then how will you overhear…? May I lay an enchantment on you, to help you understand their words? It will be temporary.
[Tadget]: Thanks!
[Tadget]: I always wondered how dragons seemed to speak every language…
[Vesyllah]: Can it be permanent? I'd like to know when orcs are talking !@#$ about me.
Zaara looks like she wants to protest, but she presses her lips together and does not.
[Tadget]: I guess as usual the answer is "magic."
[Tadget]: Ves, a hint:
[Tadget]: Orcs are always talking %^&* about you.
Vesyllah sighs.
Acride says: I don't want to go too deeply into the theory here, but suffice it to say a permanent spell would be considerably more costly, for both of us.
[Tadget]: Um, that's fine.
[Tadget]: I have been messed with by dragons enough, so temporary is fine.
Acride gestures, and carefully manipulates an enchantment that settles on each of the team members, even the reluctant Zaara.
[Tadget]: Or should I say, I will have been was messed with by dragons.
Thalstan chuckles at Tadget. "Alright, let's make our way in."
Thalstan leads the team beneath an overhang, and ends up at a cliff.
[Thalstan]: Looks like up rather than down is our way.
[Tadget]: I'm down to go up.
Thalstan leads the group up on top of the overhang, and ends up at another cliff.
[Tadget]: I'm also up for going down, though.
Thalstan chuckles. "Either way, looks like there's orcs ta kill."
Baffling, this place. Truly a maze. Anyway, we go back under the overhang, and on the other side of a barrier is actually a path to take. We take it.
[Tadget]: Zaara, just so you know, both "down to" and "up for" mean "willing to". Because Common is very normal.
[Thalstan]: Aye, it's a confusing one.
There are indeed many orcs to kill. One of the next group is a warlock who summons a portal that just keeps popping out demons. Just so many demons. It closes when we kill him, and we clean up the remaining demons.
[Thalstan]: Ugh, orc warlocks.
[Tadget]: Warlorcs.
We kill a few more orcs, and then see some ogre guards standing by a doorway.
[Thalstan]: There's the ogres over there.
[Tadget]: Wait, what were the ogres about?
[Tadget]: I might have zoned out during that part of the briefing.
[Zaara]: Ogres are terrible.
[Tadget]: Twilight guys?
[Thalstan]: They're part o' the Dark Horde.
[Tadget]: Gotcha.
[Vesyllah]: The smell alone is reason enough to kill them.
[Tadget]: Did they come up with 'Dark Horde' themselves? Edgelords…
[Thalstan]: I think they migh' call themselves th' 'true Horde' or some such?
Vesyllah pinches her lips. She definitely doesn't think 'Dark Horde' sounds cool. Nope.
[Tadget]: Lemme know if you want me to sap anybody or whatever.
[Thalstan]: Will do.
Instead, we just attack them full out, and Art freezes them all with falling snow.
[Tadget]: I appreciate the cool breeze from those blizzards, Trouble.
Thalstan leads everyone across bridges over the dark expanse of the spires. We kill a lot of orcs on our way to the ogres, and then we begin fighting through the ogres.
[Thalstan]: These must be some o' the orcs that caused all the problems in Draenor?
[Tadget]: You think so?
[Tadget]: Wouldn't they be old?
Zaara is tight-lipped.
[Thalstan]: They must be the children of, then. I don't really know how long they live.
We fight a lot of ogres, for whom Tadget and Thalstan basically come up to waist height. Butt height?
[Tadget]: Titans, I hate this view…
[Thalstan]: At least we're here ta kill 'em and stop 'em.
Spirestone Reaver says: Raaar!!! Me smash dwarf!
[Thalstan]: An' this mission is playin' to yer strengths, Mayhem. Ogre-killing now.
Tadget giggles.
Spirestone Mystic says: I'll crush you!
[Tadget]: Every time I backstab an ogre I just pray he doesn't lose control of his bowels
Spirestone Reaver says: Me smash! You die!
[Tadget]: RIGHT in the line of fire, there.
Thalstan laughs.
[Vesyllah]: This is why I prefer my wand to my blade with these things.
[Thalstan]: Tha' one looks more armored than the others.
[Tadget]: But I'm much better at stabbing.
[Tadget]: Oh yeah, that'll be a leader.
[Thalstan]: Everyone ready ta take him out?
[Zaara]: Yes.
Tadget stands at attention and salutes.
The ogre has a thing for punting Thalstan into a wall and then taking off running towards Arthur. It takes a while, but the ogre falls.
[Tadget]: Toughie.
Tadget continues slicing him up.
[Tadget]: Now that was a fight!
Thalstan nods at Tadget.
[Tadget]: I feel like I'm almost back to 7th Legion strength these days.
[Thalstan]: He really had a thing for Art. Maybe he recognized magic was dangerous?
[Zaara]: Or Art is pretty!
[Tadget]: Or maybe he just — that.
Zaara laughs.
Arthur threatens Scarshield Warlock with the wrath of doom.
[Tadget]: Lot of caster-orcs in here. More than usual. It's weird.
[Thalstan]: Think it might be a sign o' somethin' with the black dragons? Dragons like magic.
[Tadget]: Ugh, dragons.
[Tadget]: There is not one flavor of dragon that has not at some point seriously pissed me off.
[Thalstan]: I do no' think yer alone in that assessment o' the black, in any case.
[Tadget]: I will never like even one black dragon. Ever.
We pass into another area, and now everything’s trolls.
[Thalstan]: And now we're inta trolls.
[Tadget]: Speak for yourself. I am not into trolls.
Thalstan laughs.
[Vesyllah]: Is there any class of person that has not at some point seriously pissed you off?
[Tadget]: Good point, Vengeance.
[Tadget]: Wait. Draenei. No draenei yet.
Zaara beams.
[Zaara]: We are very good.
[Arthur]: You are.
[Thalstan]: I quite like draenei, aye. But then, I like most classes o' people.
[Vesyllah]: Weren't draenei originally eredar?
[Tadget]: Vengeance. RUDE.
[Vesyllah]: Just saying.
[Tadget]: What we call eredar now are as much draenei as satyrs are kaldorei.
[Zaara]: Yes!
Zaara is scowling now.
[Thalstan]: We seem ta be up to a troll leader now.
[Tadget]: Oh boy, another good fight incoming…
We attack!
Shadow Hunter Vosh'again says: You cannot defeat me! I am protected by Twilight Magics!
Zaara snorts.
[Vesyllah]: I am the night!
Thalstan is turned into an amphibian. This seriously hampers his fighting ability.
[Thalstan]: I am a frog!
Tadget cackles maniacally at Shadow Hunter Vosh'gajin.
It doesn’t matter. Thal gets out of enfroggening and helps his team stop the Shadow Hunter.
Shadow Hunter Vosh'again says: Haha, you may beat me now, but you have no idea what’s comin’…
Vesyllah frowns at Vosh'again.
Then we return to our regularly scheduled argument.
[Tadget]: Not blaming kaldorei for crap satyrs did, not blaming draenei for the eredar.
[Vesyllah]: But you'll blame every black dragon for what all the bad ones did. Got it.
[Tadget]: I didn't say that you doofus.
[Tadget]: Like, that isn't even close to what I said.
[Tadget]: But also, black dragons are black dragons. Draenei are not eredar.
[Zaara]: Yes! This!
[Vesyllah]: You said you'd never like any black dragons.
[Tadget]: I won't.
[Vesyllah]: So my point remains. You judge them all.
[Tadget]: Um. Because the Old Gods drove em crazy?
[Tadget]: I also judge all satyr. And sayaad. And other evil crap.
Thalstan sighs. "I don't think there's any good black dragons at the moment. Maybe someday."
[Tadget]: Oh sure, if there is somehow a "good" black dragon one day maybe I'll like it. Unless it's a dweeb.
[Vesyllah]: It'll definitely be a dweeb.
[Zaara]: But also the point is that black dragons are the same as black dragons. Draenei are not the same as eredar, and satyrs not the same as night elf.
[Tadget]: Like, things that are TOO good are also annoying.
[Tadget]: Yes. What Zaara said.
[Tadget]: Satyr are not "bad kaldorei."
[Vesyllah]: I never said they were. You brought up satyr.
[Tadget]: Because you said eredar were the same as draenei.
[Vesyllah]: No, I didn't.
Tadget siiiiiiighs.
Zaara does too.
[Vesyllah]: I asked a question.
[Tadget]: And I answered it. Boo yah.
[Vesyllah]: You all had a fit about it.
[Vesyllah]: Whatever.
[Tadget]: Like, it's 'just a question' if I say, "So are you still beating your girlfriend?"
[Vesyllah]: It's not my fault you chose to read something into my question that wasn't there.
[Zaara]: You ask a very pointy question.
[Zaara]: And now you pretend is no point.
[Tadget]: Ugggggh can we just like TRY to be sensitive to Zaara today is all.
[Tadget]: Like, this whole thing sucks for her to start with.
[Vesyllah]: Yeah. It was a pointy question about a pointy topic. Don't act like I was making an accusation.
[Thalstan]: We are here with ye though, Zaara. You don't got to face these fellas alone.
[Tadget]: Instead of just constantly arguing for why you're right and everyone else is wrong maybe just like, be nice to Zaara.
[Tadget]: She's having a rough day.
[Vesyllah]: Maybe instead of just constantly accusing me of $%^& you think is going on in my head, try giving me the benefit of the doubt.
[Zaara]: It was a rude question and not needed in a friendly joke conversation.
[Tadget]: When we're traipsing through some crap-hole populated by people who genocided kaldorei I won't let anyone ask "probing questions" about satyr or whatever either.
[Tadget]: Cause as dweeby as all of you are you're kinda my team.
[Tadget]: So you're not allowed to be dicks to each other.
[Tadget]: Or any other anatomical bits.
[Thalstan]: Let's all jus' be kind at one another, and focus all the violence on' the Dark Horde.
[Zaara]: Yes!
[Tadget]: I mean I can't really do kind, but I promise not to be a complete dick at least. Or any other nether parts.
[Vesyllah]: Tadget, it's amazing to me how you expect everyone to tolerate your bull*!@# when you're blatantly rude every other time you open your mouth. But you get it in your head that you know my mind better than I do, and suddenly I'm supposed to just shut up.
[Thalstan]: Here's another one o' the troll leaders.
Tadget inspects her blades.
[Thalstan]: Everyone ready?
We kill another troll leader.
[Tadget]: What I know is that Zaara is feeling crappy.
[Tadget]: And I'm not cool with it.
[Vesyllah]: Then you can say that. Don't pretend you know my thoughts.
[Tadget]: Doesn't matter what you're thinking when you say stuff that's cruel.
[Vesyllah]: Your hypocrisy is astonishing.
Arthur clears his throat. "I apologize. I didn't intend to be insulting."
[Tadget]: Thanks, Trouble.
[Arthur]: Hm. It seems I'm still alive.
[Tadget]: See how easy that is?
[Thalstan]: I've no' seen sign of black dragons yet, ta get back to the topic.
[Tadget]: Just orcs and trolls and ogres and orcs.
[Thalstan]: I think we can get through this rubble here.
We get through the rubble and are immediately attacked by orcs who cover literally everything in fire.
[Tadget]: Did the big ones make it?
[Tadget]: I CAN'T SEE THROUGH ALL THE FLAMES.
[Tadget]: Oh there they are.
[Thalstan]: Whoa, yes, that's a lot of fire orcs.
[Tadget]: Be sure when you're picking passages to squeeze through that you do like, draenei geometry too, boss.
[Tadget]: One'a these days it's gonna be just you and me while the gals cast spells through a little crack in the wall.
A valid concern.
[Thalstan]: This is a pretty orc dense tunnel.
Zaara glowers.
[Tadget]: Nice!
[Tadget]: I went by "Lord" for a while. It seemed to fit.
[Thalstan]: Ves, ye alright back there?
[Vesyllah]: Just fine.
[Tadget]: She's fine, she just hates me now.
[Tadget]: But she hates everything, so I guess now that makes me everything.
[Vesyllah]: As usual, assuming you know my thoughts.
[Tadget]: Everyone always knows my thoughts.
[Tadget]: It's not so bad.
[Tadget]: I leave mystery to the other Sharpgear.
[Thalstan]: Looks like we've got spiders up ahead.
[Tadget]: Maybe Ves can charm em or somethin?
We fight some giant spiders.
[Vesyllah]: This is your penance!
[Thalstan]: Ugh, it feels like my penance. Acride did no' say anything about giant spiders did he?
[Tadget]: Oh gosh.
[Tadget]: Sorry, Ves. This has gotta suck for you.
We fight a really big spider, and it bites Thalstan. He’s a little shaky on his feet, and kind of goes frozen every once in a while.
[Thalstan]: It's this venom!
[Thalstan]: Keeps stunnin' me in place!
[Tadget]: Do you need to cover lil Tadget's eyes?
[Tadget]: Do you have enough hands to cover all those eyes?
[Vesyllah]: We'll manage. It isn't like we haven't killed spiders before.
[Tadget]: But these ones look JUST like her. It.
[Thalstan]: I am no' sure I was ready ta be stun-poisoned by a giant spider.
[Tadget]: I'm always ready for crap like that.
[Arthur]: Is anyone ever ready for that?
[Tadget]: GODSLAYERS ARE.
[Zaara]: Mayhem is.
Tadget cheers!
[Arthur]: Other than mayhem, who is ready for anything.
[Thalstan]: If we're maybe goin' ta be fightin' black dragons, I'd like ta make sure I got that outta my system.
[Tadget]: You really aren't lookin' good though boss.
[Tadget]: Yeah.
[Tadget]: I've never seen you that exact color.
[Arthur]: Maybe we should get you back to the city.
Zaara passes another healing spell over Thalstan, frowning.
[Tadget]: Yep yep.
[Thalstan]: Can you imagine, if I'm fightin' Nefarian and then I… *Thal stumbles*
Tadget laughs at you.
Vesyllah peers at Thalstan. "She's right. You took a lot of venom. You should take some time to recover."
[Zaara]: I cannot cleanse off this venom.
[Arthur]: Okay. Portal time.
[Tadget]: Hooray for portals!
[Vesyllah]: $%^&.
Vesyllah moves to support Thalstan.
[Thalstan]: We'll be back. We'll find out whatever they're hidin'.
[Tadget]: Because I have no idea where the exit is.
Thalstan takes Ves's support.
[Tadget]: Yep, back soon.
[Arthur]: Now you don't have to!
We exit through a portal.