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| Details |
| Author: | Luridel |
| Summary: | In early August, while Rozalin is staying at the Aspenwood Vineyard, Birdie arranges for her to speak to Cobalt Company's chaplain, Mordecai. Rozalin tries to determine if she can trust Mordecai enough to tell him the things she really wants to talk about. Mordecai sets some boundaries. ~6.3k words. |
| Rating: | M for Mature 17+ |
Arc: Cobalt Manhunt
Rozalin sits in the third story library of the Aspenwood residence. She is hunched over sitting in one of the couches and is bouncing her leg nervously. She’s wearing the clothes that were lent to her by Priscilla now. She hasn’t had the time or money yet to make new ones for herself. She has one hand resting on the knife she’s wearing on her belt.
A shadow passes behind the frosted panes of glass on the library door, and then there's a gentle knock. "It's Mordecai," a soft voice says. "May I come in?"
Rozalin sighs and sits up, "Yeah, come in." Her voice is harsh, but underneath it’s a bit shaky. To a trained ear it’s clear she’s just putting on a brave face.
Mordecai slides the door open with a shy smile. He is dressed in casual clothes, a nice blue vest over a button-down shirt rather than a robe. "Hello…" He steps inside, then hesitates. "Would you like this open or shut?" he asks.
"Keep it shut." She responds. Her voice is a bit more shaky this time.
Mordecai slides the door shut and goes to sit down on the couch from Rozalin. "I don't know if you remember me," he says, taking a clipboard out of his bag and setting it down on his lap. Rozalin can see the sheet of paper on top is completely blank. "I'm Mordecai. You were going by the name Terrineth then, but Bertrand said you go by Rozalin now, is that what you'd prefer?"
"Y-yeah. That my name. It’s a… it’s a long story." She says quietly.
Mordecai nods. "Um… I know there's some legal business going on right now. As a chaplain, everything you tell me while we're speaking like this is completely in confidence. I've sworn oaths as a doctor to maintain confidentiality. I'm only allowed to talk about anything you've told me if you say I can. I'm forbidden from mentioning anything you tell me in confidence to the law unless you pose an active and current threat to the security of Stormwind."
Rozalin snaps her attention up at him and blinks. Is that really true? "Y-yeah? You ain’t gonna snitch if I say anything?"
Mordecai nods. "If you say anything about what you've done in the past, no, I won't 'snitch'. If you say something like 'I am going to put bombs in the king's throne room', then I would be obligated to, because that's a threat about the present." He smiles at her. "You see?"
Rozalin snickers at Mordecai’s comment about the king, "Heh, if only." She quickly fixes her expression, "Sorry. It was a joke."
Mordecai nods slowly. He doesn't laugh. "You weren't there when Onyxia killed Marshal Windsor in the throne room," he says quietly. "So I'll pretend you didn't make that particular joke." He closes his eyes, takes a deep breath, and tries again. "Sorry. What is it you'd like to talk about? Is there somewhere you want to start?"
Rozalin looks off at the ground and slouches forward, "I-I don’t know… All this shit keeps happenin to me and I don’t know why. Fuck, half this shit ain’t even got nothing to do with me." She sighs, "Sorry for cussin. Just been frustrated."
Mordecai gives her a more genuine smile. "You're allowed to swear, I won't tell anyone."
Rozalin softens up a little bit knowing she doesn’t need to hold back like she was afraid she might have to, "Good. Cause it’s probably gonna happen again." She jokes, "Don’t think I can quit anymore."
Mordecai nods. "Bertrand said you were a private person, and he didn't tell me very much at all beyond that you'd recently suffered a loss in your family…?" That might be a prompt there.
"Y-yeah… my folks. They were… they were killed. And then I got blamed for it." Rozalin tightens her fists and grows a little misty-eyed.
"Oh, Light, that's awful. I'm so sorry for your loss." Mordecai discreetly sets a handkerchief on the coffee table between them.
"Yeah…" she says a bit dismissively. She takes in a number of deep breaths.
"Would you like to tell me more about them?" Mordecai asks. "Were you close?"
"I don’t know…" Rozalin sighs and puts her head in her hands. "I-I know that they cared about me. More than I deserved that’s for damn sure."
"What were their names?" Mordecai finally takes the pencil out of the top of the clipboard - this seems to be the first thing he intends to write down.
"Pa’s name was Elijah, and ma’s was Meredith." She sniffles, "Why? Did you know them?"
Mordecai shakes his head and writes those names down neatly on his clipboard. "No, I didn't," he says apologetically. "But I feel like their names are still worth knowing."
"If you say so." After another moment she pauses, "You know you’re the only one who’s asked that." She looks at him curiously.
Mordecai blinks a couple of times. "Have you spoken to many people about them?"
"A little bit. I let some people know I was back staying with them, but I was mostly keeping to myself out there. Tryna figure out if I wanted to stay or keep on adventuring." She shrugs, "I hardly heard from people for months. It was just me and ma and pa. And the other people in town and the Saldeans." She rambles a bit.
"Mmhm." Mordecai is clearly listening, but not interrupting.
"It was just me back home. I hadn’t been back for twelve years or so and they take me back with open arms. My girl breaks up with me and I already don’t got many friends with the company." She throws her hands up, "Then all hell breaks loose and all of a sudden every damn person I ever met there is tryna lend me a hand. What the fuck is up with that? Is this all just another trick? Why does everyone care so Light damn much all of a sudden?" Rozalin gets a little heated.
Mordecai holds on to the edges of the clipboard and takes a deep breath. "I believe the Stormwind Guard contacted Captain Jo when the warrant went out for your arrest, because you're a member of her mercenary company," he says. "And Cobalt Company has grown much larger than it was when either of us signed up. I don't fully know how we got from there to here. Captain Jo might have selected people, or maybe they volunteered? I think that's something you might have to ask everyone individually. There's information I'm missing."
Rozalin’s expression hardens again, "Just business then, huh? Whatever…" she scoffs. Her hand drifts down to the knife on her belt and she fiddles with the sheath.
"I don't think that's a fair assumption to make," Mordecai says. "You should ask the individuals involved, I think. I can only speak for myself, not any of them." He smiles gently. "For my part, it's my job to care about people. And that was a job I sought out on purpose, because I wanted to be a healer in more ways than one. We've barely met, but as I get to know you and learn about you, I'll start to care in a less general and more specific way."
Rozalin squeezes the knife, "It just doesn’t make sense…"
"You said your parents cared about you 'more than you deserved'." Mordecai tilts his head. "Do you believe that you have to do something to 'earn' being cared about…?"
"Well I ran away when I was ten. And even before then I was always getting into trouble." Rozalin elaborates, "I came back and they didn’t even ask where I been. They didn’t even ask where I got this ugly fucking thing!" She points to the scar on her nose.
Mordecai actually looks at the scar directly when she points it out. "I don't think scars are ugly," he says. "But they mean something different to everyone. Where did you get that scar?"
"It was a parting gift from someone I used to know." Rozalin says, her words fearful but dripping with venom.
"That sounds like a very cruel parting gift," Mordecai replies. "Would you like to tell me more about the circumstances, or talk about something else?"
Rozalin huffs and looks down at the floor. She remains silent and breathes heavily to try and remain calm. She grips her knife with one hand and her pants with the other.
Mordecai looks down at his clipboard, but doesn't write anything. He gives her a minute and then asks, "Why did you run away when you were ten?"
"I-I don’t remember." Rozalin’s face grows a bit panicked, "There was this one woman and… I don’t know how but sh-she tricked me! There was this man and he was wasting away there and she gave me a knife and I… and a-and…" she rants and trails off.
"A lot of individuals experience some memory loss around particularly traumatic or stressful events," Mordecai says gently.
"No… no no no no no… I can still see him… He was so afraid. I-I didn’t have a choice. She tricked me! It wasn’t my fault!" Rozalin starts to shake.
Mordecai looks across the table at her and sets his clipboard aside on the couch. He does not move towards her. "Rozalin, look at me," he says, his voice calm and steady. "You're in a safe place. It's the year 28. You're an adult, not a child. Tell me what year it is."
Rozalin looks like she’s about to shout, but she stops herself, "I-it’s year 28…" she wraps her arms around herself and rocks back and forth.
"Very good," Mordecai says. "Now I'm going to count, and I want you to breathe with me. Breathe in and hold it, two, three, four, now out, two, three, four. Hold, two, three, four. Breathe in, two, three, four, hold, two, three, four, out, two, three, four…"
Rozalin breathes along with Mordecai’s instructions.
Mordecai keeps going for over a minute, watching her until it looks like she has calmed down somewhat. "All right," he says. "Are you here with me, Rozalin?"
Rozalin tightens her jaw and nods.
Mordecai nods. "If you have another panic attack, how would you like me to help you next time?"
"I-I don’t know…" Rozalin shakes her head and keeps her eyes fixed on the floor.
"All right," Mordecai says. "Do you prefer to be touched, or not to be touched?"
Rozalin flinches at the mention of being touched, "Stay away!" She says firmly. She shakes her head and takes another few deep breaths, "I’m sorry…"
Mordecai reaches for his clipboard again and holds it to his chest. "I'll stay away," he says in that same calm voice. "I won't touch you. It's all right. You didn't do anything wrong, Rozalin."
"No…" she says weakly, "I murdered him…"
"You didn't do anything wrong today," Mordecai corrects. "Would you like some water?"
Rozalin nods and adjusts her seat.
"I'm going to get you some water," Mordecai says, and stands. "I'll be right back." He goes directly from the couch to the door, shutting it behind him as he leaves.
Rozalin takes her knife from its sheath and holds it close to her chest while she waits for Mordecai to return.
Mordecai returns in about two minutes, and once again knocks on the door. "It's me," he says. "May I come in?"
"Y-yeah. Come in." Rozalin calls to him.
Mordecai slips inside, shutting the door behind him, and moves to his side of the coffee table before setting down a tall glass of water. It's very good that he has fully released the glass and sat down before he notices that Rozalin is holding the knife, because he flinches back from her but is not holding anything breakable to drop.
"Calm down. I ain’t gonna hurt you." Rozalin reassures him. She reaches out and takes a big gulp of water and coughs, "Thanks."
Mordecai smiles weakly at her. "I believe you, but I'm also not comfortable with that knife being drawn in here. Is there a different object you could hold that isn't sharp?"
"A friend of mine gave me this." She says a little softer. Rozalin holds it closer to her chest.
Mordecai nods. "I understand that it makes you feel safer to be armed, and that you have something that came from a friend to comfort you. I'm not asking you to let it out of your sight, but I'd like you to set it down and hold something else. I could give you a pillow, if you'd like. I'm not comfortable with you holding a knife while we talk. That's one of my personal boundaries, as a result of my own trauma. Do you understand?"
Roz shoots him a stink eye but complies, "Fine." She sheathes the dagger and tries (unsuccessfully) to make herself comfortable.
For all Mordecai's deliberately-presented calm, the moment Rozalin actually puts the knife down Mordecai sinks down about an inch into the padded bench and sighs in visible relief. There isn't even much give in the cushions - he has just slid down. He looks at his hands, which are shaking, and then at Rozalin. "Thank you."
When Rozalin notices that Mordecai’s hands are shaking her face instantly shifts to looking guilty, "Sorry… Maybe this was a bad idea. I should go." She gets up and starts to make for the door.
Mordecai doesn't stop her, but he says, "I'd like to come back and talk to you again another day. Would that be all right?"
Rozalin stops in her tracks and looks back at him, "I… maybe."
Mordecai sits up straighter again. "It might not be an easy process, talking about the past, but it can be a healing one. And I think you need that. If you'd rather find someone else to speak with instead of me, that's always your decision, but for my part I would like to continue."
"R-right…" Rozalin’s hand lingers on the door. She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath to muster as much nerve as she can, "I’m tired of being stuck in the past. I don’t wanna talk about it. I just wanna live my life."
"I have one more question for you, before you go, and I want you to answer honestly," Mordecai says. "Have you ever injured yourself or anyone else during a panic attack or a flashback of a traumatic event?"
Rozalin chuckles humorlessly, "You bet your ass. But I’m gettin better and better at controlling it." She looks over at Mordecai. Her eyes seem to be earnest.
"Would you like help finding someone else, or would you like to keep speaking to me?" Mordecai asks.
Rozalin sighs and hunched forward, "I just wanna see my friend again." Her eyes are pitiful. She sniffles and her breath catches in her throat.
"Is your friend still alive?" Mordecai asks very carefully. The answer to this question could easily be no.
"Yeah he’s fine…" Rozalin’s hand slips from the doorknob. Now she’s just standing awkwardly in front of the door.
"I'm glad to hear it." Mordecai smiles at her, visibly relieved. "What's your friend's name?"
Rozalin looks up and stares at him for a second before she responds, "You promise you ain’t gonna tell no one?"
"I promise," Mordecai says. He's still seated and talking to her like she isn't moments from leaving and this is perfectly normal.
Once Rozalin is able to convince herself that Mordecai is serious she answers him, "H-his name is, uh, it’s Crim Ragefang."
Mordecai has had enough time to prepare for any possible name she might have said, including 'Vanessa VanCleef'. The reaction Rozalin gets, therefore, is a head-tilt and an, "Oh, that name sounds familiar."
"You know him?" She asks curiously.
"Um… does he have a very large worg?" Mordecai asks.
Rozalin looks at Mordecai a little confused, "Yeah why?"
Mordecai nods. "I don't know him, but I've seen him before. Um, he was at the Argent Tournament, in Icecrown. I didn't speak to him or anything."
"Oh. I see…" Roz takes a couple small steps back, "But umm… yeah. He saved my ass." She looks down at the floor and smiles a little.
"Do you have a way to contact him…?" Mordecai asks.
"I do but keeping in touch with him is just gonna make the trial harder." Rozalin pouts.
Mordecai wilts a little. "Oh, you're right. That's a shame."
"Yeah…" Rozalin sulks back over to the couch and flops down, "And I fuckin hate waiting…" her tone is annoyed but her eyes betray a guarded longing.
Mordecai smiles sympathetically. "Do you want to tell me about your friend?" he asks. "How did the two of you meet?"
Rozalin slouches forward and rests her chin in her hand, "Met in the fighting ring in the tram. He used to work as a medic there. Done a lot of patching me up over the past few years."
"The tram… between Stormwind and Ironforge?" Mordecai sounds surprised. Those are two Alliance cities.
"Yeah. I think they smuggled him in. Disguises and bribing guards and stuff like that or something." She’s looking off in the distance but occasionally flicks her gaze back at Mordecai, "I think Bizmo went through the trouble since he was a medic and muscle all in one. Been keeping his distance lately though."
Mordecai nods. "Mmhm. That makes sense, since tensions got worse…"
"Don’t remind me." Rozalin growls, "Damn king got himself in a dick measuring contest with the new warchief and now it’s everyone’s problem."
Mordecai suppresses a smile.
Rozalin continues on despite herself. She’s normally so guarded but she’s talking more without being prompted now, "Ya know he saved my ass. Got picked up by some mercs I used to know in Booty Bay and he got me out."
"That was recently?" Mordecai asks. He seems pleased that she's talking.
"Yeah." Rozalin sits back up, "Berdie and all them actually picked me up from where we were hiding out. Atley and the-" She has to swallow her words and change what she was about to say, "And th-that guard that was with him were rude as hell though. Pissed me off a little."
"Ah." Mordecai winces a little, although he doesn't seem surprised. "But the… exchange went safely? No one hurt your friend?"
"Nah, it didn’t come to that. Would’ve been a mess if it did." Rozalin winces a little herself.
"That's a relief, then." Mordecai smiles gently.
"Yeah…" Rozalin slumps forward again. She starts fiddling with her hands absently. Her mind appears to be elsewhere.
Mordecai tilts his head. "Have you ever seen a Stormwind trial before…?"
Roz shakes her head, "Nah. I’m kinda nervous bout it. Probably real confusing I’d think."
Mordecai smiles softly at her. "I have. Maybe I could tell you a little bit about it?"
"If you could." Rozalin looks intently at Mordecai, "Everyone else seems pretty confident at least. Am I really gonna get off the hook like that?"
"Circumstantial evidence isn't enough to convict someone of murder," Mordecai says. "I don't know the details of your case, but if no one saw you kill your parents - I'm not saying you did, I'm saying if nobody is going to claim they were eyewitnesses to the act itself, that's very good. As for resisting arrest, that's a far more minor charge."
He clears his throat. "So, for the trial I attended, I was the plaintiff, not the defendant. The plaintiff is the person who makes the accusation."
"Resisting arrest my ass." Rozalin grumbles under her breath, "Told em I was gonna come along without makin a fuss." She crosses her arms and waits for Mordecai to continue.
Mordecai looks at the coffee table between them as he speaks. "The person on trial was my father," he says. "Both he and I got to choose our own lawyers. Colson helped me find Winnie. Um, Lady Alwynneria Demasco. She was really good, she was very easy to work with. And she was sympathetic. I think Father's lawyer was probably just doing it for the money."
"Huh?" Rozalin looks up confused. "Taking your own pa to court?"
One of Mordecai's hands comes up to touch his throat. "He used to hurt me," Mordecai says. "He would hurt me and have me heal the evidence. Break my bones. Cut me. Make me hurt myself, and then heal—" Mordecai swallows. "He called it 'practice'. He's in prison now. For life."
"Fuck… I’m really sorry to hear that. That shit’s fucked up." Rozalin gives him a sympathetic look.
Mordecai looks up at her. "Thank you, Rozalin. I was very nervous, in that courtroom. I had… for most of my life, I'd been told that nobody would believe me if I spoke out, if I told the truth. But the judge was very fair. These trials are very organized, but they tell you when it's your turn to speak, and you'll work out with your lawyer what you're going to say beforehand."
He gestures as he talks. "When you're called up to the stand, your own lawyer will ask you questions, and you'll have rehearsed your answers in advance so you know what to say. Then, the opposing lawyer will ask you questions, and you have to answer those honestly. Your lawyer should be able to give you a good idea of what questions the opposing lawyer will think to ask, so you can try and prepare for those as well."
"That’s good to hear at least." Rozalin visibly tenses thinking about the trial again and sticks a couple fingers in a pocket like she’s checking to make sure something is there. She seems to be getting a bit anxious.
"Other people will also be called up to the stand and questioned by the lawyers as well," Mordecai says. "Maj— um, Bertrand probably knows more about the specifics of your case than I do."
"Gotcha." Rozalin takes a deep breath, "Sorry. I ain’t no good at talking bout shit like this. I just… since people were offerin to call you over I figure it can’t hurt, ya know?"
"Everyone starts somewhere, and you're starting here," Mordecai says. "I used to work with the army. Soldiers are really notorious for bottling up their feelings in a way that isn't particularly healthy for them."
"Not all of em." Rozalin smiles faintly, but wipes it off her face when she sees Mordecai looking at her.
"Not all of them," Mordecai agrees.
After a small pause Rozalin eyes Mordecai a few more times. It’s like she can’t quite meet him in the eye. She looks like she has something to say but is too nervous to say it.
Mordecai blinks at her. "What's on your mind?" he asks, tilting his head.
"I-I…" Rozalin blushes and looks away. "I just… got a little blindsided by some stuff and… I got a lot on my mind."
"Would you like to tell me about any of it?" Mordecai asks. "I'm here to listen."
Rozalin gets quiet again and shifts her weight, "I just… I’m not sure where to go from here… everyone’s bein all nice and welcoming to me. I didn’t think you folks would take me back." She mumbles a few more unintelligible words, "and not just that, but I got some more friends who I realized meant a bit more to me than I realized…"
"Take you… back?" Mordecai bites his lip. "Well, you didn't actually commit the crime they tried to arrest you for, right? So you deserve legal support. Is there a reason why… I'm really sorry I know so little about your situation, Rozalin, but I think the fact that I do know so little means the people around you are also really protective of your privacy."
Rozalin slumps a little, "I guess I’m just not used to people bein so friendly. I thought I lost everything and now I’m seein I got more than I thought I did…"
"That sounds like a good thing, to me," Mordecai says. "It might take a little getting used to, but I do think you will get used to it."
"You’re telling me." Rozalin brings her knees up to her chest and wraps her arms around them, "I just feel so lost. Where do I go from here? Where can I go?"
"You can take as long as you need here to get back on your feet, even after the trial," Mordecai says. Oh, that's right, he married into this family.
"I know… And I appreciate that, but… what if I wanna go somewhere else?" Rozalin asks.
"Once your name is cleared, you're free to go wherever you like," Mordecai says. "Cobalt Company has mages to provide portals, if there's a remote destination you'd like to go to."
"I… may be thinking of going somewhere I don’t think y’all can take me…" Rozalin blushes and looks away at one of the far bookshelves, "At least for a little while anyway."
"As long as you show up for the trial, what you do beyond that is up to you, Rozalin," Mordecai says firmly. "You're not a prisoner, you can go where you want."
Rozalin smirks, "Tch… yeah right."
Mordecai looks at her, confused. "Is it because you're worried about your security? Or because you believe Cobalt Company will expect something from you? Or something else?"
"I have some friends that I’m not sure everyone would be too pleased to meet." Rozalin eyes Mordecai and hopes that she’s being clear enough without having to spell it out.
"Both Shattrath and Dalaran remain neutral sanctuary cities, and mages can provide portals to both," Mordecai says, biting his lip. "I don't know if you've ever been in either… Shattrath is in Outland, actually, but it's very nice."
Rozalin nods slowly while the gears turn in her head, "What about bringing him back home to Westfall?" Rozalin asks almost rhetorically.
"Oh." Mordecai connects dots. "That might be… dangerous for him, I'm sorry to say. Unless he's a member of a neutral organization, like the Cenarion Circle or the Earthen Ring or the Argent Crusade?"
Rozalin frowns and sighs, "It was worth a shot anyway…"
"I believe that the forces of Azeroth are stronger united," Mordecai says with a sigh.
"Right?!" Rozalin sets her feet back down and sits up, "These wars and conflicts are so fucking stupid."
"It's very disheartening to me that neither side can be satisfied with a truce," Mordecai says. "But while the Forsaken continue to hold Lordaeron…" He shakes his head and trails off. "Prince Anduin is growing up, and he seems a less… vengeful man than his father. I have high hopes for him one day."
"That makes one of us. I don’t see why one random kid or his jackass of a father should be in charge of a whole damn kingdom." Rozalin growls.
"In your opinion, if not a king, who should lead a kingdom?" Mordecai seems genuinely curious.
"I think we should all lead ourselves." Rozalin crosses her arms, "I’ll look after the people I care about and then they’ll look after the people they care about. Kings and warchiefs ain’t nothing but trouble."
"I see," Mordecai says very diplomatically.
Rozalin narrows her eyes at Mordecai a bit skeptically. It’s like she’s trying to figure out how much she can trust him.
Mordecai sighs. "I think life is always more complicated than we wish it could be," he says. "In that situation, the people who no one who cares about suffer without the structures in place to see that they get taken care of."
"Because the king’s doing such a good job taking care of the poor in Westfall." Rozalin scoffs, "Most all the help we been doin is all on us. The soup kitchens and helpin out with the gnolls and all that." Rozalin takes a deep breath and shakes her head, "I didn’t come here to argue."
Mordecai runs a hand through his hair, leaving it even messier than before. "I know. Are you from Westfall? You mentioned bringing your friend home to Westfall." Here it is: yet another reminder that Mordecai really has not been told about Rozalin's life.
"Born and raised." Rozalin huffs and tries to settle down.
Mordecai nods. "From what I've heard they have a fairly close community there."
"We do. I wasn’t sure they’d take me back either, but they did…" She purses her lips, "I don’t think I wanna just give it up, but…"
"Are you worried about having to choose between them and your friend?" Mordecai guesses.
"Maybe… I’m not quite sure. I wanna keep adventuring. There’s so many things out there I’ve never seen, but having a place I know I can come back to…" Rozalin sniffles, "It was really nice."
"Oh," Mordecai says, and he sounds truly, deeply sympathetic. "I understand."
"A-and my friend, well… I just know he’s gonna go places. And…" Rozalin swallows, "Well he sort of said some things to me that got me thinkin bout all this I guess."
Mordecai nods. "Well, you have some time to figure this out." He tilts his head, looking at her. "Did it help, talking about him?" he asks curiously.
"I dunno… I wanna see him again. I tried to say more while we were still together, but he said I should wait." Rozalin shrugs, "And now it’s eating me up. I can barely sleep some days."
Mordecai smiles sympathetically. "Something that you would rather discuss in person, I imagine?"
"Yeah…" Rozalin hesitates several times before she decides to let it out, "I think he’s got feelings for me. Y-ya know?"
"Oh." Mordecai looks at her curiously. "Do you return those feelings? Or are you still… figuring it out?"
"I-I’m not sure… I’ve had so much shit going on it’s hard to say." She smiles and blushes as she gets caught up remember in the moment, "But any girl’s heart would skip a beat hearin something like that, right?" Rozalin touches her nose.
"Um…" Mordecai fidgets with his fingers. "I don't think I'm authorized to speak for any girl's heart." Is that a joke? Maybe.
Rozalin rolls her eyes and reaches over to slap the table between them, "Use your imagination damnit." Her smile suggests this was meant playfully but she certainly doesn’t mince words, "He was sayin all these nice things bout me. I just feel… safe… around him. I tried to get him to keep goin but he said it should wait."
Mordecai smiles dreamily. He's probably not thinking about Crim Ragefang. "He makes you feel safe," he says, nodding in approval. "That's very good."
"Ya think so?" Rozalin asks hopefully, "But what do you make of him cuttin things off early? I let him know he ain’t have to take his time."
"Maybe he wanted to take his time," Mordecai guesses, tilting his head. "If he didn't feel like the circumstances were right… that matters, too."
"Maybe…" Rozalin purses her lips and thinks, "I guess I do got a bit of a habit of jumpin into things without thinkin… You think… maybe he just wants me to give it some thought?"
"Maybe. All I can do is guess, the same as you. But if you think so, it might be worth doing. Giving it some more thought, I mean."
Rozalin grunts and sits there a minute longer, "He’s a good guy ya know?" She defends him despite no attack having been made against him, "I don’t know… I just don’t want shit to blow up in my face. Or his…"
Mordecai nods. He lets her talk this one out.
Rozalin huffs and sets her chin down on her fists, "Takin him to the farm is probably out of the question… Damn, this is so stupid!" She grumbles, "I guess I wouldn’t mind tagging along with him somewhere maybe…"
Mordecai smiles faintly at her. This is cute.
Rozalin's wistful expression instantly shifts to a scowl when she sees Mordecai smiling, "What are you smilin at, huh!?!" Her cheeks are bright red.
Mordecai is not intimidated, this time, and he's not embarrassed either. "You said that he makes you feel safe," he explains. "It reminds me of my own husband, and how I knew he was… important to me. And I'm happy to hear that you have someone like that, even if you're separated right now."
Rozalin's blushing gets brighter and brighter until her whole head is the color of a tomato. She stutters being too caught off guard to form a sentence, "Wh-what the fel is that supposed to mean?!" She finally manages to say.
"It means you have a good friend who makes you feel safe, who you might be considering something more with," Mordecai says patiently, averting his eyes to the coffee table. "And that's a good thing, Rozalin."
Rozalin folds her arms in front of her chest and glares off at one of the bookshleves, "Fine, just… don't fucking tell anyone, ok?" she growls.
"I won't tell anyone," Mordecai promises. He's said as much before, but he doesn't seem to mind repeating himself.
Rozalin takes a deep breath. Her leg bounces frantically while she sits, still not looking at Mordecai, "Good."
Mordecai smoothly changes the subject. "You mentioned a farm. Do you need to look in on that…?"
"Y-yeah, probably…" Rozalin seems to finally relax again, "My folks had a lot of friends, so I'm sure someone is lookin after it, but I dunno what to do with it once this shit is over."
Mordecai looks up at her again and nods. "Bertrand might be able to help you with that when you make a decision, possibly…? He's been working in Westfall with Cobalt Company…"
"Help me with what? The harvest?" Rozalin asks, "I gotta fix the place up and buy all new dishes and shit. Everything is gone. And I don’t even know if I wanna stay."
"Hiring people to help you repair your home, work the land… or sell the property, if you decide to do so." Mordecai shrugs.
Rozalin looks a bit sullen, "Damn it… He’s such a good guy, but I just hate takin all these handouts…"
"You were just saying that people should look after the people they care about," Mordecai points out. "Does that not include people looking out for you, if they care about you?"
Rozalin groans while she searches for the words to respond, "It’s not the same when it’s someone like him… He’s a big whig." She clenched her jaw and wracks her brain, trying to phrase this in the way that she means, "People like him got everything already. And I know he ain’t think like that, but him helpin me is the same sort of crap people like the king would pull when he’s tryna get more soldiers to play along with his little war. Like we owe it to him or somethin. If he got so much to spare then what was he doing hangin onto it all anyway?"
Rozalin shakes her head, "Sorry. I’m fuckin rambling again… Shit just irritates me." She huffs, "Guess I shouldn’t snub Berdie just cause he been put up on a pedestal by someone else…"
Mordecai fidgets with his fingers in his lap. "I'm an Aspenwood by marriage, not birth. I came from a family that was noble in name only - we had land, but we were deeply in debt, and I never really had much until I married Colson. Um, I don't know the details of Bertrand's finances and they wouldn't be mine to share even if I did, but I do have… I guess a unique perspective on all of this if you'd like to hear my opinion?"
"Shoot." Rozalin eyes him. She seems curious as to what he’s going to say, but she doesn’t give the impression that she’s likely to be convinced.
"There's… differing schools of thought on whether it's even possible to live an ethical life if you're significantly richer than the people around you. And, um, it's not possible to save everyone. That's not fair to put on any one individual or family. But how do you do your best? They donate to charities, they pay their employees fair wages, because it's the right thing to do. It's not that you owe the Aspenwoods anything. It's that they owe the people who live and work on their lands a good life. It's their duty as land-owners to be good to their people. And to make sure their employees and guests are treated well." Mordecai sighs and looks down.
"Beyond that, um… he probably has, um, connections? He might know people who are looking for work?" Mordecai guesses. "If you're his guest… him not offering to help you would be wrong. You don't have to accept anything more than what you're comfortable accepting, but he's just trying to do the right thing for someone in need."
He leans in and whispers, "It still barely even feels like they're my family, and I've been married for two years and… several months."
Rozalin blinks. She seems pleasantly surprised by Mordecai's answer, "You got a point there. If I gotta deal with some overlord looming over my head, I'd rather have folks like these guys rather than our good for nothing king." She narrows her eyes and smirks, "And ya say you ain't feel like yer part of the family, but here ya are stickin up for em."
Mordecai blushes faintly. "Well… they've been very kind to me."
"I’m not surprised." Rozalin chuckles, "They’re alright, these Aspenwoods."
Mordecai smiles, pressing his hands to his cheeks. His family! Gosh. "Thank you for talking to me today, Rozalin. Would you like me to come back another day…?"
"Yeah. Thank you too, guy." Rozalin smiles faintly, "I’ll uh… let ya know if I need ya I guess. I’m hopin to have my usual ear to pour my woes into back soon."
Mordecai nods. "All right." He stands, gives her a shy little wave, and mumbles, "Take care. Goodbye."
"You too." Roz waves back, "Bye."