(2024-04-22) Interlude: Trollish Tribulations, Part 4 (Cobalt Blade)

Details

Author:	Alli
Summary:	The Cobalt Blade heads back into Zul'farrak, following the trail of the dark water spirit. What they find does not bode well for the world. ~3400 words.
Rating:	T for Teen

Arc: Before the Cataclysm

Arc: The Cobalt Blade

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some crude humor, dungeon-usual violence

The team is gathering back up at the inn in Gadgetzan. Thalstan comes into the common room and spots Vesyllah, Arthur and Zaara.

[Thalstan]: Alright, I count… three… and…

Tadget comes bursting in through the door.

[Tadget]: Oh my TITANS. Do NOT go to Stormwind right now.

[Thalstan]: Oh, what? Problems there?

[Tadget]: It's a madhouse. No wait, that's an insult to madhouses.

[Thalstan]: Oh, fer the memorial thing?

[Tadget]: All these soldiers coming back from the war, some of em in boxes, plus every damn street corner has some guy in a purple hood yelling about the end of the world.
Vesyllah gently pets the large spider on the bench beside her.

Arthur opens a portal to stormwind and looks. "What's — is purple a mourning colour?"

[Thalstan]: Purple? Uh, I do no' think so.

Zaara whispers, "The end of the woooooorld."

[Vesyllah]: The end of the world? Didn't we just avert that?

Tadget points to Zaara.

Arthur points as it fades. "Purple hooded people in the street, other people swerving to get around them."

[Tadget]: Well, luckily we're Doom Prevention Specialists.

[Thalstan]: We definitely did avert one end. And I do no' know what's goin' on with that troll staff we got, but maybe we're avertin' another one now.

[Tadget]: So the Lich King IS dead, right? We're sure?

[Vesyllah]: I haven't seen the corpse, but that's what I hear.

[Thalstan]: Pretty sure he's a goner.

[Arthur]: I heard it too. I heard the big squads were there.

[Tadget]: Maybe the doomsayer guys just didn't get the memo?
[Tadget]: I do have a pretty bad feeling about 'em though. The phrase "Hour of Twilight" was in there somewhere.

[Vesyllah]: I mean…the world is probably doomed in some way or another. But no need to be obnoxious about it.

[Tadget]: Or maybe it was Time of Twilight? I definitely heard Twilight, and that word makes me twitchy.

[Thalstan]: It does remind me o' the stuff we read, when we were gettin' in the cult.
[Thalstan]: Ye know, with the Seed and all that.

Tadget wiggles her toes on the warm inn floor.
[Tadget]: We should go visit our old buddy in the Badlands. I bet he is SCREAMING right now.
Tadget cackles maniacally at the situation.

[Thalstan]: Oh, yeah, I bet he is.

[Tadget]: Just like, one long endless scream.

[Thalstan]: Maybe we should check in on him.

They ride off towards Zul’farrak, and Thalstans rides barely out of the beginning of this conversation.

[Tadget]: Prettier than usual even.

[Arthur]: Very pretty!

[Zaara]: Yes!

[Tadget]: Wait, how do you know?

[Zaara]: A straight up snack?

[Vesyllah]: Yep.

[Tadget]: That means you're delicious.

[Zaara]: This is pretty? Snacks?
[Zaara]: Ohhhhh.

[Tadget]: nom nom nom.

Thalstan chuckles.

[Tadget]: We're all snacks here. A mixed bag of snacks. The sampler platter.

[Thalstan]: I feel like I'm a whole meal.

Tadget laughs at you.
[Tadget]: No one here can be accused of humility.
[Tadget]: Maybe Art.

[Thalstan]: I would no' make any such accusations.

[Vesyllah]: You were humble, you jerk.

[Arthur]: Oh, how annoying of me.

Vesyllah smirks at Arthur.

They enter the ruins of Zul’farrak.

[Thalstan]: Sure are a lotta trolls in here fer a ruined city.

[Tadget]: Trolls seem to like living in their own ruins.
[Tadget]: Stranglethorn, too.

[Thalstan]: Not much fer rebuildin' are they?

[Vesyllah]: Trolls are survivors. They can endure most anything.

[Tadget]: Except building.

[Vesyllah]: Kinda like gnomes.

[Tadget]: They can't endure that.

Vesyllah chuckles dryly.

[Tadget]: Ohhh waaaah hammering is haaaard
[Tadget]: Let's go live in some ruins!

Thalstan chuckles, rustling his beard.

[Thalstan]: Ye still gettin' that water feeling, Zaara?

Tadget gently pats Zaara.
[Tadget]: Zaara always has water feelings.

Zaara has been quiet. She nods.
[Zaara]: Dark water.

Zaara finds a lockbox.

[Tadget]: Lemme unlock that thing for ya, Booty.

[Zaara]: Oh. Okay.

[Tadget]: Once we're done murdering.

[Thalstan]: They just keep comin!

We finally get out of combat and the lockbox is handled.

[Vesyllah]: Dark isn't necessarily bad.

[Zaara]: It is the bad kind of dark.

[Tadget]: As opposed to coffee or chocolate kind of dark.

[Thalstan]: Last time we went right, and we found that group o’ water surveyors.

[Arthur]: This time left?

[Thalstan]: I think so, aye.

Zaara shakes her head unhappily, but says, "Yes."

[Thalstan]: But let's make sure we don't get at each other's throats, like they did.

We are attacked by trolls. They turn Thal into a frog, but we win anyway.

[Tadget]: Wheeeeee!
[Tadget]: I apologize for any inconvenience my murderous rampage may have caused.

[Thalstan]: Whew. I really do no' like bein' a frog.

[Thalstan]: They did no' seem ta be behavin' normally, though. That team.

[Tadget]: I tend not to pick up on the nuances.
[Tadget]: Things stab you, I stab them.

[Thalstan]: It made me wonder if it was that Moozala's influence. Or maybe somethin' worse.

[Tadget]: Moozala? Who was that again? A Tauren?

[Thalstan]: Sure sounds like it ta me.
[Thalstan]: But Zaara said he was a spirit o' death.

[Tadget]: One of these days Zaara I'd like for you to give us some good news.

[Zaara]: I am pretty?

[Tadget]: That's not news.

[Vesyllah]: Trolls have a spirit of death. Boomsaddy or something.

[Zaara]: Boomsaddy?

[Vesyllah]: Something like that.

[Tadget]: Is this Boomdaddy stabbable in any way?

[Thalstan]: Maybe they've got more than one.
[Thalstan]: Boomdaddy and Moozala?

[Vesyllah]: Maybe he's stabbable? We haven't met.

[Tadget]: I am NOT learning troll gods. I leave that you you nerds.

[Zaara]: Nerrrrrds.

[Tadget]: Nerrrrrrds.

[Thalstan]: I am no' sure I've been called a nerd before, outside Cobalt Blade. *Thal looks faintly proud. He pats his beard*

[Vesyllah]: Any gnome calling anyone else a nerd is just funny.

[Tadget]: I'm the only one here who is NOT a nerd.

[Vesyllah]: You're a nerd. It's in your blood.

[Tadget]: That's racist, man.

[Vesyllah]: Still true.

[Tadget]: NOT A NERD.
[Tadget]: Name one nerdy thing about me.

[Arthur]: you know forty eight ways to kill someone even if you're unarmed.

[Tadget]: That's the opposite of nerdy!

[Vesyllah]: You obsessively tell the same story over and over.

[Thalstan]: That is pretty nerdy, I got ta say.

[Arthur]: you know what you are? you're a murdernerd.

[Thalstan]: Studyin' all those murder methods.

[Tadget]: Okay, I will accept 'murdernerd.'

Zaara whispers, "Close now, shhh."

Thalstan peers ahead.

Vesyllah involuntarily snorts a laugh.

[Thalstan]: Speakin' of nerds…

Zaara is quiet.

[Arthur]: Deathgeek.

Tadget thanks Arthur.

Vesyllah murmurs, "Murdernerd…"

Tadget gently pats Arthur.

[Thalstan]: Those purple robes look familiar ta any of you nerds?

[Tadget]: Wait, that's like the guys in Stormwind.

[Thalstan]: But… Sandfury Trolls. Huh.

[Tadget]: Same color. Ish.

[Arthur]: what are they doing, dressed like that?

[Vesyllah]: I'm getting real sick of this cult.

[Tadget]: How many times we gotta wipe those guys out?

We fight some and win.

Thalstan nudges a troll. "Aye, this looks like our old nemesises… nemisii?"

[Zaara]: What is this cult?

Vesyllah smirks at Tadget. "Let's find out."

[Thalstan]: Twilight's Hammer, looks like.

[Zaara]: Yes but

[Tadget]: Remember when we had to infiltrate those guys?
[Tadget]: Same guys.

[Zaara]: I know this but I do not know what they are… culting about.
[Zaara]: Only the end of the world?

[Vesyllah]: Thalstan was so good at pretending to be one.

Thalstan nods at Tadget. "I felt guilty even fakin' it, but we needed to."

[Tadget]: The end of the world. They're a fan, yeah.
[Tadget]: Dunno why.
[Tadget]: But they super want to end the world.

[Thalstan]: Yeah, they want the world to end.

[Tadget]: I have not looked into it super deeply because all I need to know is they are pro-apocalypse, which equals, stabbable.
[Tadget]: Maybe some of you other nerds know more about WHY they want the world to end. But I do not.
[Tadget]: I am just a murdernerd. A deathgeek, if you will.

[Thalstan]: I am no' sure why, but it seems they might be in the same direction as some dark water death spirit?
[Thalstan]: Wantin' ta end th' world is a whole lotta death for a death spirit, aye?

[Zaara]: To feed.

[Tadget]: Maybe the death spirit is all like, "Hey, if you end the world for me, YOU won't lose all the stuff you're keeping there."

[Arthur]: That's Dumb! If the World's ended where are they going to keep all that stuff?

[Tadget]: Maybe the death spirit has pockets?

[Thalstan]: I would no' count on death spirit pockets

Zaara 's teeth are clenched.

There's a disruption by the pool in the center of the room. Some kind of troll magic-wielder stands by the pool, and there's a shimmering in the air by her, similar to a portal.

Suddenly, the image of an OGRE appears at her other side, some kind of communication!

[Tadget]: *whispers* what the WHAT

The ogre has two heads, it's clearly one of the clever ones.

Image of Cho'gall says: Kulratha. Things are going well, I see.

Arthur mutters, "That's not good.”

Tadget draws her daggers, staring at the ogre with obvious urge to stab.

The troll magic-user, Kulratha, nods. Her eyes are on a ripple in the water.

Zaara shrinks back.

Image of Cho'gall says: The blessed beast Gahz'rilla, adored pet of the Old Gods, grows larger and stronger by the day… as does the Cult of Twilight's Hammer.

Thalstan murmurs, "Well, if we didn't know before…"

Vesyllah narrows her eyes to glowing slits.

Image of Cho'gall says: Continue your work here, Hydromancer. Soon, this world will be remade… and as devoted servants to our master, you and the Sandfury tribe shall be justly rewarded!

Tadget whispers "It seems what does kill them makes them stronger, because we have been killing them a bunch.”

[Thalstan]: So they are after death pockets. *Thal draws down his bushy brow*

[Tadget]: I knew it.

[Vesyllah]: I say we keep trying. Maybe this time killing them will stick.

[Tadget]: Stupid death pockets.

Kulratha says: Soon, the rifts will be large enough for Gahz'rilla to assault the heathens' cities directly. She will reduce them to frozen rubble! *Kulratha smiles at her boss.*

Image of Cho'gall says: See to it. They will not be celebrating for long.

The ogre's image vanishes.

[Thalstan]: Yeah, I think we should try violence again.

[Tadget]: It's pretty cool when the bad guys talk about their plans in detail, and use their outside voices.

[Thalstan]: Oh aye, verra useful.

[Vesyllah]: Arrogant idiots.

[Thalstan]: They're takin' orders from an ogre, though.
[Thalstan]: Not what I expected.

[Zaara]: The ogres are very bad.

[Tadget]: I mean ogres ARE dumb enough to believe in death pockets.

[Thalstan]: Let's get the Hydromancer first. Then whatever they've got hidin' in that pool.

[Vesyllah]: That was one of the two-headed kind, though. Some of them are actually smart, believe it or not.

[Tadget]: That sure is a big pool.

Zaara nods vigorously at Vesyllah.

[Thalstan]: More dangerous then.

[Vesyllah]: Definitely. Known to use magic.

[Tadget]: I much prefer stupid villains.

We fight a lot of trolls. They turn Thalstan into a frog continuously and then bully Art.

[Arthur]: Whew! I got a little rambunctious.

[Thalstan]: I spent most o' that fight as a frog.
[Thalstan]: I will no' miss that when we move on ta other enemies.

Tadget giggles at you.
Tadget ribbits softly.

Thalstan peers down at the pool.

[Thalstan]: I think they've got somethin' in there.

[Zaara]: Noooo, shhh.
Zaara backs away.

[Thalstan]: Cobalt reported a monster. Mayhap they've revived it?

Thalstan takes a step in, but it’s a lot deeper than it looks. He backs out.

[Tadget]: Do not get in the pool, sir.

[Zaara]: It is the thing in the water.

[Thalstan]: Whoa, it is deeper than I thought.

Tadget sighs at you.

[Thalstan]: Well, we can't leave it here, can we?

[Tadget]: Maybe hit that gong over there.

[Vesyllah]: They were shouting something about a favored pet.

[Thalstan]: I think we'd best kill it.

We kill it!

[Tadget]: Wheeeeeeeeee

[Zaara]: It is dead?

[Tadget]: Bet Thalstan could make something cool out of that hide.

[Thalstan]: Whoa, that was quite a monster.
[Thalstan]: Aye, it's dead.

[Tadget]: It'd look pretty on Booty.

[Vesyllah]: Did we just avert another apocalypse?

[Tadget]: Sure, it's a Monday.

[Vesyllah]: Mm. Checks out.

[Arthur]: If we didn't, we sure poked one in the eye.

[Thalstan]: I'll keep it's hide, make somethin' pretty.

Tadget cheers at Thal.

[Thalstan]: It sounded ta me like they were after hurting Stormwind.
[Thalstan]: Mentionin' the celebrating? After the Lich King maybe, like the memorial?

[Tadget]: A memorial is kind of the opposite of a celebration.

[Thalstan]: A celebration o' the service folks gave?

[Tadget]: Uh, no.
[Tadget]: It's a funeral, dude.
[Tadget]: But I guess ogres can't tell the difference.

Thalstan shrugs a little. "My ma called them that. A celebration o' life."

[Tadget]: That does sound pretty dwarfy.
[Tadget]: Probably use a funeral as an excuse to get hammered and party.

[Thalstan]: I mean, I would no' say yes or no ta that.

[Tadget]: Anybody see the latest Thadget fic?

[Thalstan]: The what now?

Tadget snickers.

[Thalstan]: Is yer fella gonna kill me, Mayhem?

[Tadget]: He appreciates erotic fiction.

[Thalstan]: It's… erotic then, aye?

[Tadget]: I mean it's supposed to be.

[Vesyllah]: Our fans are perverts.

[Thalstan]: At least it's no' boring…

Tadget giggles.

[Arthur]: I haven't read one yet.

[Tadget]: Preserve your innocence, Trouble.
Tadget gently pats Arthur.

[Vesyllah]: You're probably better off, Art. I avoid them, too.

[Arthur]: I'm guessing it wasn't of much literary merit.

[Tadget]: Not really.
[Tadget]: But it's fun to see how awesome people think I am.
[Tadget]: Boy they sure make hay out of "Stouthammer" though.

[Arthur]: Oh, gosh.

Thalstan 's eyes widen a little. "Maybe I ought ta make sure none o' these make their way to my ma."

Tadget giggles.

[Thalstan]: Nor Oranna. Or maybe… I can no' tell .

[Tadget]: I WISH my mom were alive so I could show her.
[Tadget]: And watch her choke on her own tongue or something.

[Thalstan]: Well, I think we've done what we can fer the problem here, aye Zaara?

[Tadget]: Is it feeling less yucky in here Booty?

[Zaara]: Yes? What is 'yucky'? I think yes?

[Tadget]: You know, yucky. *Tadget makes a sound of utter disgust*

[Zaara]: Oh. Yes, it is less…. *she makes the same sound.*

Tadget giggles.

We fight more trolls. Thal is a frog again.

[Vesyllah]: Thal…you gotta stop froggin' around.

[Thalstan]: That's goin' ta be a sayin' now, innit? *Thal sounds resigned*

[Vesyllah]: Next time I'm just gonna leave you like that.

[Tadget]: You make a pretty good defrogger, Vengeance.

[Zaara]: I do not like this ogre, though. Ogre is bad trouble.

[Tadget]: Yeah, I don't like that ogre either.
[Tadget]: I want to kick him in both faces.

[Thalstan]: We can report th' ogre to Cobalt.

[Tadget]: Another day, another doom averted.

[Thalstan]: Aye, a daily thing fer the Cobalt Blade.

[Tadget]: Just a day in the life of DPS.

Thalstan chuckles.

[Tadget]: While I am in many ways unlike my nerdy brethren, I do share their love of TLAs.

[Thalstan]: Too-Long Acronyms?

[Tadget]: Oh, I was going with Three Letter Acronyms, but that's good too.

Thalstan laughs, rustling his mustache.

[Thalstan]: Let's check in with Tabetha.

We head over to Tabetha’s hut.

[Tadget]: Oh hey it's our favorite person.

Arthur bows before Tabetha.

[Zaara]: It is? Our favorite person??

Tabetha says: You're back again! And still un-killed, good for you.

[Vesyllah]: We have a talent for that.

Tabetha says: If you're back for more news of the lands, I'm afraid none of it is good.

Tadget lets out a long, drawn-out sigh.

[Zaara]: Bad, yes.
[Zaara]: End of the woooorrrrrrrrld.

[Tadget]: If it's always the end of the world, is it ever really the end of the world?

Tabetha shrugs. She’s comfortable with doom.

Tabetha says: But, well, mostly I'm just annoyed right now because there's this hydromancer who stole my tiara. Something about summoning a pet of the Old Gods or some nonsense, but I liked that tiara…

[Thalstan]: She… uh… we killed a hydromancer.

Tabetha says: Did you? *Tabetha brightens* Wasn't Kul'ratha by any chance, was it?

[Tadget]: Uncanny.

[Arthur]: The very same!

Tabetha says: See? I know all. Did you grab her tiara, by any chance?

[Arthur]: At least, the two headed ogre called her that.

Tabetha says: The two-headed…. whoa.
Tabetha says: Kul'ratha, Kul'ratha, what have you gotten yourself into? You'll end up getting killed by a strike team one of these days. Like today, probably.

Tadget giggles.
Tadget shifts from foot to foot.

Tabetha says: Well, whether you have my tiara or not, at least she won't have it. I really could've used it to try to stabilize the elements in this area, though.

Tadget sighs and reluctantly withdraws a sparkly tiara from her bag.
[Tadget]: Here you go. I guess it fits your tiny head better anyway.

Tabetha says: Oh! Well, thank you! *Tabetha takes it brightly* And if I sounded a little… mean before, pay it no mind. You'll find me a much nicer person to those who haven't stolen from me.

Zaara whispers loudly, "Does she have a tiny head?"

Tadget whispers back loudly, "SUPER tiny."

Tabetha says: And I also gather you've dealt with that trollish staff? Followed it to the disturbance?

[Vesyllah]: That's how we found your hydromancer.

[Tadget]: And a huge monster.

[Thalstan]: Aye, that we have. And aye, as she says.

[Zaara]: Death spirit and ogre and cults.

Tabetha winces. "I was worried about that, when Tervosh told me about it. Tervosh, I said, you're sending those people into death spirits and ogres and cults." She is totally not just repeating Zaara, she knew that.

Zaara nods solemnly. She bets you did, lady.

Tabetha says: Anyway, I've been consulting with stuffypants Tervosh, and we're concerned that staff should probably be kept somewhere safe.
Tabetha says: We were thinking… Nethergarde Keep? They're managing the Dark Portal, so surely they can handle a questionably-connected staff. What do you think, draenei?

[Zaara]: Stuffing pants?

Tadget quietly snickers to herself.

[Zaara]: I think Nethergarde Keep is okay.

Tabetha says: Not about the stuffing pants, I'm pretty certain on that point. *Tabetha raises an eyebrow*

Vesyllah smirks.

Tabetha says: I'll leave you to head on your way, then. There is something more going on, but Tervosh or I will contact you if further action is needed.

[Tadget]: Indubitably.

[Zaara]: Okay. We will contact you also if further action is needed.

Tadget giggles.

Tabetha says: Of course. *Tabetha gives an aloof smile*

[Tadget]: So. What now, sir?

[Thalstan]: Ta Stormwind? Might be the closest ta Nethergarde.

Tadget looks up at Thalstan. She's the only one who ever does that.

Thalstan appreciates that, Tadget.

[Tadget]: Didn't I say, the minute I showed up today, NOT to got there?
Tadget cackles maniacally at the situation.

[Arthur]: Right.
[Arthur]: But we're just passing through.

[Tadget]: I guess there's no getting around it.
[Tadget]: Just mind the chaos.

[Thalstan]: Oh, uh, any town really ought ta have a portal to the Blasted Lands
[Thalstan]: We'll only be there fer a second.

[Tadget]: Good.

[Arthur]: Oh! Ironforge, then?

[Vesyllah]: Sure. Whatever.

[Tadget]: Fewer weirdos there.
Tadget cheers!

[Thalstan]: Here we go!
[Thalstan]: Ah, they say we can't use th' portal?

[Tadget]: RUDE.

[Thalstan]: I am talkin' ta Ference about that.

We go to Nethergarde Keep the long way, because apparently you have to be 58 to take a portal to the Blasted Lands??? We report to the upstanding citizen Thadius Grimshade.

[Thalstan]: We're back!
[Thalstan]: Here ta give ye the Amani Staff ta keep safe. And make sure it does no' cause any problems.

Thadius Grimshade says: Ah, yes, dangerous things we ought ta keep safe here.

[Tadget]: You really look like the trustworthy type.

Thadius Grimshade says: I am, that's why me name's Grimshade.

Tadget sighs at Thadius Grimshade.

[Thalstan]: Well, we'll report where its gone, just in case.

[Tadget]: Nice to meet you, I'm Tadget Doombummer.

Thadius Grimshade says: Pleased ta meet ya, Doombummer.

Tadget snickers at Thadius Grimshade.

Vesyllah groans at Tadget.

[Thalstan]: Then that's that. A good day's work, team.

[Tadget]: Thank you sir!

Vesyllah produces a hearthstone and traces a finger along the rune.