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| Details |
| Author: | Luridel |
| Summary: | You have a nightmare. You might be Alaisa Lysander. You might be Ally. You might be Mistake. You aren't sure. ~950 words. |
| Rating: | M for Mature 17+ |
Here is the central problem, such as it is: you don't know who you are. You don't know how to be authentically yourself, because you have so many bits and pieces that you don't know which ones came from you and which ones came from other people. You still haven't found your core.
What if you're boring?
How do you have nightmares about being boring?
Like this, apparently: you dream of sitting in your mother's chair. You don't remember how you got there. You don't remember who you're supposed to be. You have a mother, and this is her chair.
Isn't it?
You dream of sitting in a chair.
You sit there for a long, long time.
And then you're standing. Or maybe you're lying down.
The room is gone. You see darkness, but darkness with texture, the shifting pattern behind your closed eyelids.
There is noise. Multiple sounds. The first sound is a rattling of metal-on-metal. The second two are voices.
Voice one. Male, Stormwind accent, clear diction, sharp-edged with anger. Kieran Lysander. Your father's voice. Not your voice.
Voice two. Female, Stormwind accent, soft, a little raspy. That feels different, the rasp. Dry throat? Renna Lysander. Your mother's voice. This one probably isn't your voice either, but it's close.
Get your fucking head in the game, Mistake.
Is that your name?
/məˈstāk/ - as a noun, an action or judgment that is misguided or wrong.
"Ally?"
That's your mother. That might be your name, too.
"Get it together, Alaisa."
That's your father. That also seems like it could be your name.
You'd better do this correctly. Let's try this again.
MEMORY OF YOUR FRIEND'S VOICE
(frustrated)
"Get your fucking head in the game, Mistake."
RENNA LYSANDER
"Ally?"
KIERAN LYSANDER
"Get it together, Alaisa."
This could be the part where you open your eyes. But if you don't, it continues being just sound, which is much easier to process and file away.
You could respond to them, if you wanted, but you don't know what your voice should sound like.
RENNA LYSANDER
"I think something's wrong with her. Is she still dreaming?"
KIERAN LYSANDER
"I might still be dreaming, my love."
As soon as you open your eyes, you'll have to do all sorts of things, not just speech. Posture. Movements. Mannerisms. You'll have to be a person.
Fuck it. Fine. You'd better get started.
THE CAGE IN THE BASEMENT — YOU, RENNA LYSANDER, and KIERAN LYSANDER are all inside the cage in the basement.
YOU — You are horizontal on the ground, laid out on your back with your hands laced together over your stomach. You are wearing a peach-colored nightgown, a brown shawl tucked neatly around your shoulders, and long black socks. You did not wear these socks to bed.
KIERAN LYSANDER — Your father stands upright, one fist clenched around a metal bar. His prosthetic arm is missing, and the left sleeve of his plain black pajama shirt has been tied in a knot. He is dressed in all black. His wedding ring hangs on a chain around his neck. You watch his left shoulder and the remainder of his upper arm raise towards the bars as he tries to reach out with a phantom limb.
RENNA LYSANDER — Your mother sits next to you, looking down at you. Over her nightgown, she has been bundled into a thick red quilt. There is a bruise on her forehead, and there are bruises on her hands. When you meet her eyes, she smiles.
RENNA LYSANDER
"There you are."
YOU
(carefully, in your mother's voice)
"I think I'm having an identity crisis."
RENNA LYSANDER — Your mother puts a delicate hand on your forehead. Her palm is cool to the touch.
THE CAGE IN THE BASEMENT — You hear the creaking of wood. Someone is coming down the stairs. The lights are on, and you see the saronite armor before you see the man wearing it. THERIS LYSANDER, your brother, descends the stairs.
KIERAN LYSANDER
"It's back. Renna, stay behind me."
THERIS LYSANDER — He lingers a moment on the bottom step before approaching, going to the small key left atop one of the crates. He strips off his sharp-tipped gauntlets and secures them to his belt, where his helm also hangs, before picking the key up.
RENNA LYSANDER
"Kieran, don't…"
KIERAN LYSANDER
"That thing is not our son."
RENNA LYSANDER
"Don't hurt him."
KIERAN LYSANDER
"Hurt him? Hurt him? With what?"
KIERAN LYSANDER — His knuckles are going white as he grips the bar of the cage.
THERIS LYSANDER
(quietly, fatigue evident in his voice)
"I came to check on Ally. I found all three of you asleep. I believed someone should keep watch. Eventually, the Nightmare progressed, and the three of you began to attack. Poorly, without your usual skill. I put you in here so you would not be harmed. You did not seem inclined to attack each other. Last night, the druid Malfurion sent out a call to arms to fight in the Emerald Dream to secure your safety."
KIERAN LYSANDER
(commanding)
"Let us out."
THERIS LYSANDER
"I will let you all out once I have your word that you won't try to harm me."
KIERAN LYSANDER — He clearly doesn't want to promise this. He looks at RENNA LYSANDER.
RENNA LYSANDER
"I won't hurt you, Theris, I promise. Ally, please, sit up. The nightmare's over."
KIERAN LYSANDER
(very begrudgingly)
"I will act only in self-defense, if it is necessary. You have my word."
YOU — You sit up.
You remember Ally, you know how to be Ally. You know how Ally acts. You can use Ally for now.
Maybe Ally isn't your core identity, but the people in the room aren't going to wait for you to find it.
ALLY LYSANDER
"Hi, Theris."
The nightmare's over.