(2023-09-08) Father and Son?
Details
Author: Alli
Summary: Celaven comes to talk to Caspis about a number of things that have been on his mind lately.
Rating: T for Teen
Caspis Silvershade Celaven

The atmosphere at the Argent Stand is as tense as always, but at least it is not under active attack right at this moment. Clusters of off-duty Argent Crusade can be seen here and there around the camp. One tall kaldorei man in a Cobalt Company tabard, Celaven Evensong weaves his way through the clusters of people. The focus in his silver eyes makes it clear he's looking for someone in particular.

Caspis Silvershade stands as he all too often does, dark blue hair blowing in the slightly fetid breeze, gaze turned up toward the sky, expression inscrutable. He has been rumored to stand like this for hours at a time.

This time, at least, he's going to be interrupted before hours pass. Celaven, a purple-haired man with priests robes underneath his tabard, steps quietly next to him and says, "What are you looking for?"

It seems to take Caspis a moment to recognize the voice and realize he's being addressed. When he does, he turns with a faint smile.

"Celaven, my son," he says quietly, using a Darnassian word that doesn't mean son exactly, or even stepson, but sort of an honorary son.

Celaven's face softens with a smile at the address, and he says, "I had heard you would be
out here, I was hoping I would find you eventually."

"How are you finding Northrend?" Cas asks solemnly.

"I've been finding much use for my talents," Celaven says, and then hesitates before he continues, "There is so much in this land that I cannot heal. Mother asked me to go back to Darnassus, but I still feel… like I have more of a place here."

"She asked you to go?" Caspis frowns, his brows drawing together.

Celaven nods, his ears drooping slightly. "I know she wants to protect me, but it has been many years since I needed protecting. How are you finding Northrend?"

"Parts of it are… strangely beautiful. Even here." He gestures around at the towering red trees. "But… yes, it is a diseased and haunted place."

"Does it bother you, as a healer?" Celaven asks, turning to face Caspis directly.

Now it's Caspis's turn to get a little droopy-eared. "I am only a healer by… designation," he says. "By assignment. It is not so much a part of my identity that I feel I should be able to heal all things. But then… perhaps no one should feel that way."

Celaven smiles, with a touch of sadness. "You may have more wisdom than I in that." Celaven pauses again, and then says, "May I tell you something rather personal? I do not want to presume, but… well, perhaps you may understand if I explain."

Cas's gaze softens. "You may always tell me anything, my dear friend."

"There are… several things that weigh on my heart," Celaven starts, his voice suddenly sounding a little less certain. "I speak with the priestesses at the Temple, of course, but there is still distance there. When I was in Darnassus, I thought to seek out my father. But, as ever, he is… too busy. And I realized that even if he were not, maybe he was not the person I would want to speak with. When I think of that place, where a father should be… I think you may be the closest to it."

Cas lowers his gaze, but is obviously pleased.

"I don't mean to… burden you," Celaven says. "Or to assume, because you love my mother. I just thought to ask… if you might want that place in my heart?"

Cas is silent for a moment, his gaze still lowered, almost as though bashful. When he speaks again his voice is very quiet and serious. "You have always held a special place in mine," he says finally.

Celaven takes in a breath, straightening slightly, with a touch of a relieved smile. It's clear that he had not taken this kind of acceptance for granted, or perhaps even expected it.

"I will not forget our time together on Teldrassil, or how you brought me back to my shalan. I was fond of you before your mother and I were together, hm?"

"I hoped so," Celaven says, the smile settling on his face. "Then maybe… I might call you father one day?"

"Do you think your mother would mind?" He seems to be considering this for the first time.

"I don't think so," Celaven tilts his head, thinking. "She hasn't spoken to my biological father in hundreds of years."

Caspis considers this for quite a long moment. Then he smiles very very faintly. "I think… I think she might even like it. I still feel odd speaking for her, as though we could truly know one another after so short a time. But… I feel it."

"Then perhaps I shall," Celaven nods. "I might talk to her, so she is not surprised."

Suddenly Caspis frowns. "Ah, but there is one more person we ought to consider."

"One more?" Celaven's ear twitches. "My sister? Surely she would not mind."

He shakes his head gravely. "My daughter," he says.

"Ah, yes," Celaven settles back on his heels. "I would not want her to feel I was trying to take anything from her. If she objects, then I will not."

"How would you feel about meeting her? Even your mother has not, yet."

"I would like that," Celaven says, a little hopefully. "This seems to be the year for me to meet possible younger sisters."

"Ah yes, your family is growing quickly. Does this please or unsettle you?"

"It is a lot of change very quickly, after so long a time of no change," Celaven says honestly. "But it is not unwelcome. I regret that I may have made Florande feel it was so, at first.”

"How are the two of you getting along lately?"

"Rather well," Celaven smiles, his gaze going to the distant horizon. "She's a very forgiving person. Last I saw her, she was staying near Moa'ki Harbor, helping with the recovery of their people at Indu'le."

"Excellent, excellent." Caspis nods solemnly. "I am so proud of my thero'shan."

"She is not a healer, by nature, but she does have a gentleness to her in some ways," Celaven says. "I try to visit with her regularly."

"If you renounce your kinship to your father, does that mean renouncing her as well?"

"…I had not thought of this in such a way," Celaven frowns, his ears drooping. "I would not choose to link the two."

"Would you say you are renouncing your father, or simply… adding a second father?"

"I think he is irrelevant to my life now, so maybe renouncing is unnecessary?" Celaven thinks carefully. "There would be some element of satisfaction in rejecting him explicitly, but it may be better to simply let that lie."

"Especially if you still value Florande as a sibling, I would think." He nods thoughtfully.

"Yes, I would not want to harm others in seeking healing for myself," Celaven nods.

"On the subject of healing… can you tell me more about what has been going through your mind to put you in such distress that your mother tried to send you away?"

Celaven nods. "That is… a rather tangled knot. But that is what I spoke of weighing on my mind. From her perspective, I suspect it is simply that she believes I am too open, and might be influenced by the evil that rests beneath this land."

"Ah, I seem to remember her mentioning something to this effect…" He considers. "Have you felt any hints of Old God influence at all, yourself?"

"I don't think so?" Celaven considers. "No more than others have reported. At certain places, sometimes, I feel a sort of… uneasy presence? But nothing so bad as what was reported from the Whisper Gulch."

"And no one near to you has suggested that you seem different, or has questioned your behavior?"

"Not yet, no… except…" Celaven hesitates. "I try to keep myself to certain boundaries, and since I've come here, people keep testing them. Just the other day, when I was fighting the Scourge with a team, they asked me to… hurt an undead creature."

"And this bothers you normally?"

"I can fight in combat but this was… not to kill, to inflict pain for the purpose of extracting information," Celaven shifts uncomfortably. "I refused. That's not the person I am. But it was Scourge. Was my refusal suspect?"

"Not if it is your normal behavior, your normal principle. What you need to watch for with Old Gods is the feeling that something outside of you is guiding you, something separate from yourself. Or others telling you that you seem changed."

Celaven takes a breath. "I may be spending too much time alone. I do not feel guided by anything but myself, but perhaps I would not notice. Have you felt any influence, since you've been here?"

"I have heard whispers, but I have not been influenced by them, not yet. But I have people around me to tell me if they notice changes in me. I recommend that you stay, but that you travel with a companion. Or at the very least spend evenings in company after your work is done. And at the very first hint from those who know you that they believe you are behaving oddly, distance yourself immediately from this place."

"I will do that," Celaven nods. "I do not intend to be careless with my own wellbeing, especially not when that could lead to harm for those I love."

"You are a principled young man," says Cas solemnly, "and that is why I spent so much time with you recently on Teldrassil. Most importantly, you listened to me when I questioned things you had been led to believe. Your pure heart and your willingness to listen are not only what caused me to grow fond of you, but they are qualities that I believe should inoculate you against corruption of any kind. Stay cautious, and I believe you will prevail."

Celaven smiles at the praise and nods. "I will be cautious, then." He hesitates, and adds, "Do you feel there is danger of corruption in associating with the Ebon Blade?"

"I do not believe I understand them well enough to advise with any confidence. I find them personally repulsive, but that does not speak to their danger, only to the natural aversion druids feel toward necromancy of any kind."

"I also feel that aversion," Celaven says, considering. "There's one I knew in life among them. I had been trying to… encourage her. I do not know if it helps. Perhaps I will simply approach that with the same caution."

Caspis nods. "Caution is one thing in my life that has never caused me regret. I suppose it is possible to be so cautious that you entirely fail to live, but I do not see that as likely in your case."

Celaven smiles. "Perhaps not likely. I would put my joining a mercenary company as evidence toward that, but… so have you as well."

"I needed to return to Northrend, and in a group seemed the safest way. So in a sense, I was being cautious."

"Cautious to travel in a group, but incautious enough to return to Northrend. Perhaps it balances, in the end."

He shakes his head. "It was not incautious of me. I was taking responsibility for what I had helped to cause."

Celaven blinks. "You had nothing to do with the Scourge."

"Andrassil," he clarifies. "Er… Vordrassil, it is now called."

"Oh," Celaven's expression clears. "But that was…" a name we don't mention here. "At least, I don't think that was a thing you could have prevented, was it?"

Caspis sighs softly. "I… do not know. I have asked myself that… so many times."

"If there is anything to be done now," Celaven looks seriously at Caspis. "If there's anything I can do to help, I will."

"The primary damage to the Emerald Dream has already been done, I fear. But at least I was able to help ameliorate some of the recent disturbances on the surface. I shall have to be content with that, for now."

Celaven nods. "For now. Should that change… I expect I will be here in Zul'drak. I will try to be easy to find."

"And I shall always be here for you, as well. Soon I shall talk to your mother about the both of you meeting Tirenda, hm…?"

Celaven smiles. "I would like that. A hundred years ago I would never have dreamed my family might grow in this way."

"Nor I. For the past ten thousand years I have stood largely alone. Even as a child, I longed for more family and instead… what family I had was taken. This has been like a dream."

"May it continue to be a good dream," Celaven says, looking back up to the sky with a smile lingering on his face.

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