(2023-09-06) The Essential Five Point Process Of Working With Paladins

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Author:	Athena
Summary:	Mordecai and Colson head out to the Argent Stand to check in on Aze and see how she has been with following the Argent Crusade. 4k-ish words.
Rating:	M for Mature 17+

Sounds of sporadic combat reach into the abandoned Drakkari structure where the Argent Crusade have made their stand, but by now the soldiers inside behave as if it is nothing but familiar background noise.

One soldier in particular rests against the interior side of a broad carven stone pillar, apparently idly examining the blade of one small sword. She's sin'dorei, but that's not unusual among the members of the Argent Crusade. The blindfold covering her eyes, tied under her black hair, is a considerably less common sight. Still, no one seems to find her out of place, and she's clearly wearing the tabard of the Argent Crusade over her leather.

Mordecai is dressed in a dark purple frostweave robe, all bundled up in a black hooded cloak. He has just come from updating his passport at the flight path, and he's a little preoccupied by putting it away in his bag, because he trips over what might as well be nothing - maybe a small rock - and pitches forward.

Colson looks like a paladin. This is not unusual, but it's possibly even more obvious than usual, as there's something about him now that draws the eye of the aggro of Attention. Look at the paladin, not the priest, it seems to say. Their progress is a little slower as he's recognized here and there with "Brother Colson" and "Sir Colson," along with both offers and warding off of poker games. Colson inclines his head politely back where appropriate, but keeps walking to avoid the small talk traps.

When Mordecai trips over either nothing or possibly one of the small talk traps not fully dodged, Colson's hand goes out to catch at his priest's waist as his other hand attempts to steady the other man. "I have you."

Mordecai grabs Colson's arm for support. "Yes. Thank you. I love you." That might be automatic. He smiles at Colson and continues looking around for Aze, although the hood is limiting his range of vision a little.

Over by the pillar, Aze tilts her head, pausing with one finger halfway down tracing one side of her blade. She's heard something, possibly the sounds of "Brother Colson" and "Sir Colson" progressing across the camp.

She stands and steps away from the pillar to be more visible, fumbling with one hand in her bag. After a moment, she pulls out a mostly-clean cloth that she uses to clean the exposed blade with half her attention. The other half is focused on the camp, trying to locate her friends.

Colson's range of vision is neither limited by a hood or a blindfold, and it doesn't take him long to find the person he's looking for. Reflexively, he raises a hand up in greeting. Among the other shiny paladins, it might be difficult to pick up him exactly, but as he gets closer, he makes it clearer as he says, "Aze. Good afternoon." He isn't shouting, but he is projecting enough to be heard through the general din of the Argent Crusade camp.

Aze straightens at the voice, sliding the blade back into its sheath and tucking the cloth away. She heads toward that paladin.

"Colson! Mordecai!" Aze smiles, reaching out like maybe she wants a hug. Or a handshake. It's vague.

Colson blinks once, and although he's dressed in plate armor, which is not especially comfortable for giving or receiving hugs, he seems willing to go in for a hug, having interpreted the body language in that direction. It might have been a mental coin flip.

"Aze!" Mordecai puts an arm around Colson and pulls Aze in for a group hug. Everybody can have a hug. As a treat.

Aze doesn't seem put off by the plate armor at all. Maybe it actually seems welcoming to her, since it doesn't have razor-sharp saronite embellishments. Aze throws herself into the group hug. "It's good to see you. I'm so glad you didn't die."

"Me too," Mordecai says, smiling. "I mean - that is, well, I'm glad none of us died."

Aze nods, pulling back. "I guess you're working around here now? With the Argent Crusade?"

"Yes. And the Ebon Blade," Colson says calmly. He doesn't sound bothered by the idea. "We have been working on removing the power structure behind the necropolis here." That might be Colson for 'assassinating the leader.'

Mordecai releases Aze from the hug, but he continues to lean against Colson, uncomfortable armor and all. "Colson is. I, um. I haven't done a whole lot here yet."

"With the Ebon Blade," Aze says, stepping back, but the smile doesn't falter. "That must be interesting."

"I believe we are achieving our objectives, and cooperating as best we can." Colson's voice gives little away beyond that he's calm about it.

"I haven't really been… I hadn't realized how busy it was out here. Have you been getting enough rest? Eating all right?" Mordecai asks Aze.

"Yeah, as much as I ever do," Aze smiles, shrugging a little as she turns just the slightest bit away. "No bars in Zul'drak that I've found, but I've got my own tent and everything. And my sister, just across the way. Mostly, I'm tired enough by the end of a day to sleep. How about you? Are you planning to stay here now?"

Mordecai looks at Colson with wide eyes. Are they? He doesn't seem to have considered the possibility until now.

"No," Colson says. "We have a house in Stormwind that we are currently in during most the week."

Mordecai looks relieved. "I'm not with the Argent Crusade, anyway."

"What, you live in Stormwind and come here for weekends?" Aze asks, raising an eyebrow. "Now that's a commute. I've only been back to Silvermoon once, since I came up here."

"It's expensive, but…" Mordecai looks down. "We've budgeted for it," he mumbles, a little embarrassed.

"It is not especially difficult with portals, hearthstones, and gryphons. Should we lose portals once again if the leylines grow unstable once more, we will remain in Northrend again." Colson sounds like he considers this perfectly reasonable. Then again, he's the fourth son of a high nobility family and wealthy enough to not consider money an obstacle.

"Yeah, no, I didn't mean to criticize the cost," Aze says, turning halfway away and muttering something in Thalassian in which the word Dalaran is audible. "Do you want to go sit somewhere? Talk a while? There's not a lot of amenities here, but 'somewhere to sit' should be something I can offer."

Colson inclines his head politely, and a beat after says, "Yes, thank you."

"All right." Mordecai takes Colson's hand in his and looks around. "Somewhere… a-a little warmer, maybe?"

"Yeah, sure," Aze smiles, and leads them through the bustling camp to a quieter area where there are more tents and less war maps. She stops at a smoldering campfire, and Aze gestures at it before folding into a sitting position herself. "I'm obviously happy to see you, but I have to ask. Is there a problem? Some reason you needed to come by?"

Mordecai looks down at the ground - stone, and not even smooth stone, but tiles engraved with a pattern, cracked and weathered. He kneels, perhaps because that's easiest when wearing a robe, and holds his hands up towards the heat of the campfire. "Um… I mean, we needed to be here to update our passports, and we thought… well, we haven't seen you since… Um, no problem that I know of?"

"No, nothing beyond a wish to see that you are doing well. We…met with your sister and her husband recently, out of concern for some potential diplomatic difficulties with Cobalt Company working in close proximity with the Ebon Blade, as well as recent events with King Varian and Undercity." Colson kneels next to Mordecai, with a familiar ease that suggets he might do this a lot.

"Right," Aze turns towards the fire, her smile faltering. "I'm not really following Horde news, out here, but Syarra told me about all that. At least they got the people behind the Wrathgate, and it sounds like nobody wants another fucking war." She leans forward on one arm with a sigh. "Nobody Horde-side, that is. I'd guess you don't either? Since you're here, breaking faction lines?"

Mordecai shifts uncomfortably. "I've never wanted a war. I'm a healer." He holds a hand out in Colson's direction.

Colson takes Mordecai's hand gently. "The Alliance may decide to go to war eventually, but regardless, we are not of the army, and the Argent Crusade is neutral, of neither faction fully."

"And we already have a war," Aze nods. "One we're fighting together. If I'd realized the Forsaken had that fel-damned demon…" she makes a sound of disgust and shakes her head. "It probably wouldn't have made any difference. But I'm not sure what I'd even do with myself if there wasn't any war."

"A lot of people feel that way," Mordecai says. "Mostly those who feel they don't have a home to return to."

"I still have a house in Silvermoon, for when I need it," Aze says, turning toward the fire. "I guess that's one thing if we ever get to no war - I'd be a better host. I can throw a pretty fun party, when I want to. When I have the resources."

Mordecai smiles faintly at her. "Your house is large enough to host parties in?"

"It… depends on the size of the party," Aze says slowly. "I can certainly end parties there, with the people who stick around that long."

"Ah," Colson says. He clears his throat. "Silvermoon is not a place we could go at present, but perhaps someday we might find enough peace to do so. We do not know what the future might hold with the sin'dorei in particular. Perhaps someday we will mend some bridges, and see a return to other times." There's a calm sense of faith in the possibility, as though he truly believes that such a future is possible, not just in hypothetical, but something he might actually see in his lifetime.

Mordecai ducks his head, the hood hiding most of his face. "I'd like to see it one day."

"Then that's one thing I can do, when we get peace. It won't be how it was, of course, not exactly," there's a touch of sadness in Aze's smile. "Not the same city I grew up in. Like Stormwind, after the orcs. They rebuilt it with the fel, which I'm not really sure how they pulled off, but I bet it's about as beautiful as before, still. Anyway, I'll show you new Silvermoon and you can show me new Stormwind?"

Colson smiles gently, and some of it is audible in his voice. "We would be honored to do so."

"I'd like that," Mordecai says. He sounds hopeful.

Aze smiles, raising one hand to rub at the edge of her blindfold. "And in the meantime, it'd be nice if you could… well…" Aze sighs. "I guess you can't convince anyone to give me a chance who wouldn't otherwise. I knew I wasn't going to be very popular here."

"Do you face any concerns that it is more than…ah, an impolite manner? I am acquainted with some, from time I spent in the Plaguelands, and the Battle of Light's Hope. There are also many I do not know. There are many new faces," Colson says, and there's a solemnity to his voice. "I do not know how far my own word would go, particularly with recent events straining trust. Time and patience may be your best proof, but I understand that can be difficult."

"So far, just… signs of being unwelcome. Which I knew would be a thing, really," Aze shifts back, dropping her hand. "I promised to be open with anyone in the Argent Crusade, and to know that not everyone would want to work with me. So maybe it's disloyal to even ask you. It's just… the weight of it. I'm trying to be a perfect soldier. But I was never perfect, so I don't know how long I can keep that up."

Mordecai says quietly, "I'm sorry you've been having difficulty adjusting. Being a perfect soldier…" He pauses, looking at Colson.

"Perfection is not the way of the Light," Colson adds gently. "'In all things, paladins must reflect the Light, which supplements our strength. To strive to be divine for one of our kind does not mean we strive for godhood — we strive to be good in all actions. Although called upon to smite evil in these harsh times, you must almost remember that it's aiding others that will truly set you apart from the other citizens. Compassion, patience, bravery — these things mean as much to a paladin as strength in battle.'" He quotes from the Tome of Divinity with a familiarity and exactness.

"No soldier will ever be perfect, Aze. And no one here should either ask it, nor expect it from you, and that includes yourself. The Argent Crusade is part of the Light's grace, and in those virtues, all are reflections of it. Respect is part of that, but that can take time. As you are not a perfect soldier, so to are the ones you work with, who will struggle with their own biases, and their own reasons for hesitation. Grace and forgiveness for imperfection must go both directions. I believe in you, Aze. You can do this, if you wish to do so," Colson says.

Mordecai smiles his way through the whole of the recitation, looking rather proud. He turns back to Aze once Colson's done speaking. "You sound like you're working really hard. I don't think that's a bad thing - as long as you don't burn yourself out. Try to be the best version of yourself that you can be, not… someone else."

"I don't know, it's just… if I mess up, other people aren't going to be thinking about grace. They'll just say, of course. She's demon-tainted, what can you expect?" Aze runs one hand through her hair and makes a sound of frustration. "And maybe they'll be right. But I don't want that to be true. Maybe what I need is not to be myself, but to be someone better. I guess I thought, if I do everything they ask, it makes me a better person, right? Because the Argent Crusade can be trusted to know what the right thing is."

"The Argent Crusade is led by people, and all people are capable of error," Colson says gently. "Although, I believe that you may trust in their aims, and their morality, for all of the leadership strives for that goodness as well, and Sir Tirion Fordring of all people knows well how difficult that path of the Light can be. Once, his fellow brothers and sisters in the Light turned from him, for committing to his word to an orc, and yet he held to his honor and faith." Colson sets his other hand over Mordecai's. "All people make mistakes, Aze. That is inevitable, but what matters is not perfection, but what you do after that mistake that defines who you are, and what you stand for. Though there may be those that condemn you for any misstep, there so too will be those who will forgive you, for they follow the Light's guidance. If you remain on that path yourself, to stay the course with faith, you may find your way to that grace."

"If you mess up how?" Mordecai asks. "That sounds specific. Like you're afraid of something specific happening."

"See, like the Tirion Fordring story? I would never have done that. I'm trying to stay on the path, but you know I'm… I'm blind," Aze shifts uncomfortably. "As for how, I don't have a single specific scenario in mind, but just the ways I've gone wrong before. What if I kill the wrong person? Don't kill the right person? Associate with the wrong people? Or do something to make people decide I'm the wrong person to associate with. I'm not hiding what I am, but I am hiding what I can do, to some extent. It's not… not all of it is very… it wouldn't look good."

"I don't fully know the details of the structure of the Argent Crusade here, but maybe if you had a partner whose decision-making you trusted? Another Crusader with more experience, perhaps…?" Mordecai suggests.

"Yeah, I mean, that's sort of what I hoped the whole organization would be…?" Aze chuckles. "Kit, she trusts Sevastyn and Vond and Etone. So there's that."

"Even – " There's an odd note in the paladin's voice, and he starts over. "Even paladins rely on other paladins to keep ourselves on our own paths, working together to strive towards goodness rather than perfection. That bond of connection is…powerful. There is trust in both directions. An organization is large, and faceless, and while it can provide a forward momentum to follow, and there is comfort in that as a soldier, if what you fear is a moment of faltering that you might not realize is happening, what you want is someone you trust.

"And you should never discount the power of one person standing with you after that moment. Mistakes are inevitable. We all have those times when we fall from the path. What matters is not that we never fall, but what we choose to do after. Do we do the difficult work to climb back up, or do we let go and fall further? That climb up will always look less dire when you see that person holding out their hand to you, ready to bear your weight and lift you back up."

Mordecai sets his second hand on top of the Colson-Mordecai-Colson hand stack, looks at him, and smiles.

"Then… I think that comes down to the same thing. I keep trying. Trust, be patient, wait for trust in return," Aze says, with a small shrug. "And accept that it might not come, I guess. Sometimes I just wish there were an easier path."

"If there's anything you're uncertain of that is more of a longer-term decision, that doesn't require an immediate answer… I'm always willing to provide my opinion, if you want it?" Mordecai offers. "I don't know that it'll be a good opinion, but it's something."

"Usually anything like that I'd just put off until circumstances force a decision and then do whatever seems like a good idea at the time," Aze says with a short, nervous laugh. "Sometimes it works out, sometimes it doesn't. But I'll try to notice, if I'm doing that. And then, yeah, I'd appreciate it."

"There are always easier paths, but they are often so for reasons that are not desirable for those with power," Colson says in a voice that can only be described as a Paladin Voice — gentle, compassionate, and reassuring in its own way. "That is not to say that it will always feel as it does now, to wish for easier. It may not be the fastest route to such ease to put your faith in time and patience, but in the end, when you look back at how far you have walked along it, there may be satisfaction and pride in it, and surety that you are where you are meant to be in that moment.

"Kit has stood in that place before, as a guardian of my own walk in the Light, and you may trust that she will both hold out her hand to you, and that she will at times need her own. We are none of us perfect paladins," he says with that sound of something so often repeated that it has the cadence of a phrase rather than a natural flow.

Mordecai smiles at Aze. "I think you'll be all right. And if anyone here… starts really giving you a hard time… go to someone you trust about it."

"Or, you know, paladins at all," Aze says with a flash of a grin at Colson, then she nods to Mordecai. "I will. I'm not going to go crying to Brother Black like a child or anything, I can take care of myself. But… if it gets to the point of violence."

"We all need a place we can cry at times, Aze. There's no shame in it, and Sir Sevastyn is a man of understanding of both the Light's grace and despair that knows no age or race," Colson says. "You need not wait until you are breaking to ask for help, or reach out for connection. But, know too that we are both here, should you need it. It would not be possible to dance in Stormwind, but if you do wish for a respite from the ongoing fight, I am certain we can find somewhere here in Northrend on neutral ground, to remember that we all have more of a purpose than only to smite our enemies, paladin or no."

"That was… poorly phrased on my part," Aze says, shaking her head. "I can't cry, actually, and it's not very flattering when I try. So I don't need a place for it. As for the rest, yeah, I'm not aiming to break, not any more than I already have. I don't know if there's anywhere private enough to dance here in Northrend, though."

"It doesn't have to be literal," Mordecai points out. "Just… when things get to be… upsetting? Stressful?"

Colson makes the mistake of inclining his head in agreement, and adds verbally a beat later, "Just so." He sounds just like Cressidha with a deeper voice.

"Isn't that pretty much just life?" Aze says with a wry smile, but then makes a quick, dismissive gesture with one hand. "I'm fine, really. I like not being on my own, having people to trust. It's just… hanging around in the camp, not enough to drink, too much time to think. I'm getting fucking maudlin. I'll be a better friend. Want me to show you around the camp? Or we could do something else fun?"

"Ah, well. Becoming Maudlin is part of the essential five point process of working with paladins, it comes before Deep Existential Angst but after Tense Contemplation of One's Place In The Light," Colson says with such dry seriousness that it's either actually serious, or possibly a joke. Hard to tell. He looks at Mordecai with his brows raised to silently ask if the priest has any preferences for tour guide or potential fun to be had.

Mordecai is startled into laughter so abruptly that he pulls his hands out of the Colson-Mordecai-Colson-Mordecai hand stack to cover his mouth with.

Aze laughs a moment later, shifting back to sit on her heels. "Right, okay. Mordecai you counsel people? When I get to the Deep Angst part maybe you can help me through it. Or not, if that's just a thing you do for Cobalt."

Once Mordecai has gotten his giggling under control, he nods. "Yes, of course. Just let me know." He gets to his feet, wincing a little - that kneeling was not particularly comfortable - and looks around. "I would like a tour, if you don't mind."

Colson unfolds from his own kneeling. If he was uncomfortable, he either isn't showing it, or he's so familiar with the position that it didn't bother him. Unclear. He reaches out to hold Mordecai's hand gently, ready for a tour.

"Sure thing," Aze tucks her toes under and rises smoothly to stand. She's used to it. She waves them on and heads back in towards the center of the camp.