(2023-04-17) We're All a Big Ship, or Maybe the Crew, I Don't Know It's Complicated

Details

Author:	Vond
Summary:	Nunuzac writes back to Nesselos with the best advice she can think of when he asks about facing an orc with a destructive past.
Rating:	T for Teen

Arc: Nesselos's Missing Friend

(Reply to: Letter to Nunuzac)

<Nunuzac's reply comes back in the draenei language with the usual bubbly handwriting with decorative elements.>

Dear Nesselos,

I am so happy to hear from you! I have been wondering how everyone back across the sea is doing, and where your journey has taken you. How good it is that you have had continued progress, and that you thought to tell me all about it. I ate up the letter like an elekk in a sweetreed patch. Where to start? <there is a doodle here of a face with little dots for eyes, a wide mouth, two sideways horns and a long trunk for a nose.>

Well let me see. Xaafi definitely deserves a hug for helping you out. But who could not like you? I am almost offended on your behalf but you are so very much more thoughtful about it, so maybe you are right to call it an unfair circumstance. Just be sure that in setting out to be kind you do not make your spirit become small or lost in a maze. Then, Kaerix and a tauren? Is this a usual thing? If so the Earthen Ring might be exciting to meet with for her. She and Mansia should also get a hug.

As for here in Northrend, I am on the eastern side of the continent in a place called HOWLING FYORD <here Nunuzac has put phonetic-transliterated draenic script above an all-capitals, slightly mispelled common rendition>. Teacher Paluuva is here! It is called HOWLING because it is full of wind and worgs. <To the side, in the margin: "aaaaaoaooooooooouuuu!"> It is not very safe to roam around on my own, but I got to see a lot of amazing lands by going out for some work with others.

A druid taught me to talk to the worgs, and we found one of them was actually a big worg-person on two legs that spoke Common! And before that I saw many old artifacts being dug up by dwarves, and then metal dwarves came in to try to bury them all again. There is something to do with Titans maybe? That fills me with I don't know - something nervous but curious? Titans are an idea I never think about much because it seems so mysterious and long ago and no real effect on today except the one that is our trouble, yet here on this world they have things just lying around? Why is this? Do they watch us? Could they help us with the one?

Now I think on the things you tell me about Kraz. I think on this sincerely. There is a lot here so I might miss something but I will try. You are so young, but already you hold concern for many others in weighing what you do. This is more than a turn of the heart. This is a skill that not all possess, one you can strengthen, and one that will make you so precious to our people. If we are all a ship, this kind of skill is a structural-girder.

With that in mind, I must tell you that this will not be the first time you will consider if and how to forgive. Forgiveness is crucial to keeping us healthy as a whole. Given long enough, most of us will quarrel at some point or another, but still we must fly, and there must be a way to accept someone back into the crew whenever possible, in time. A vindicator might be able to tell you more about making fair justice for those who have been wronged. It might seem that the same precautions don't matter to a fast-living being or someone apart from our community, but truthfully your heart remembers the posture you take at anyone and it is like practice for being good draenei-crew.

Because this topic is so complicated, I will try to just suggest a few thoughts to try out. First, for someone like Mansia, for whose memory you care to protect. Mansia is close to you in age, and a capable shaman. If you were Mansia, would you prefer ignorance? Or would you be happy to learn about such a difficult thing, fortunately not having to experience it directly, but by holding hands with a friend who can give you more understanding? To make you more wise and protect yourself, and who believes you to be strong?

Second, for the fallen you hold in your heart. There might a tempting thought, that letting go of the pain is somehow disrespectful to the victims who can't talk for themselves, but consider, if you could speak to them today, do you think they would ask for that kind of respect? You cannot hold that pain inside for a thousand years. You cannot do that without it turning infected. This Therald, you told me he is Argent so I think an Azeroth person. Because of that he may have the option to leave those pains behind and seek new people when hurt, because Azeroth is making new people all the time. But if he questions your approach you can explain why that is not always so for us.

Third, Kraz. Know that it is not you who hurts Kraz if he sees you and feels hurt. Kraz knows what Kraz has done, and Kraz knows why, whether on purpose or by forces that had power over him. From what you say, it sounds like he is trying to reform. Only Kraz can know if this is to run from deeds or to amend for them. The choice you can make though is whether to leave the last shared memory of Kraz in that dark place, if you are ready to look him in the face. You write like your mind runs in circles, wondering this, wondering that, and full of bad memories. The thing about memory is that it can be added to in a way that puts at greater peace - when it is ready. Kraz may or may not be the one that can aid you in this, but it is something to try.

Last, forgiveness is a process, sometimes a long one. Try this. Say to yourself, just for this moment, I try it on like a cloak. I see how it feels. I see how it rests on me. I look at myself in the mirror, and ask myself how I like what I see. I can take it off and put it aside if it does not suit me. But what is the harm to try? It is alright if you cannot wear it for long at first.

Oh no, I really made this letter so so long. It really is a very complicated topic, and neither of us know all the answers. But even if you don't find all the resolution you might hope for, I know some techniques for working with hard memories and questions that we can talk about next writing, or maybe a chance to meet! I may not always seem super serious but I've actually been around the star cluster a few times!

Do your best, Nesselos! I know you touch a lot of people with your kindness.

Always friends,
Nunuzac