(2023-03-07) Take A Shoulder On Approach

Details

Author:	Athena
Summary:	Colson stops by to check in how Jo's been doing under the pressure of the cult infiltration of the Alliance, the mage kidnappings, the dragon polities, and the ever present pungent seal whey. Naturally, the leader of the Company is fine. But she may be using Colson's definition of it. 2k-ish words.
Rating:	T for Teen

In the Valiance Keep inn, second floor.

Colson descends the steps from the upper floor that definitely exists, looking through the room near the balcony with an attentiveness that suggests he's looking for someone specific — and he's found her. "Captain, good evening."

Jocoza sits in the chair by the bookcase, holding a book in one hand on her lap. It sits there, neglected, as she stares into space. She startles at the voice, and then smiles. "Colson, good evening to you too!" She turns her goggled eyes up to peer at Colson. "Is there a problem? Is it the Cult? Or the dragons?"

Colson smiles faintly back, a small movement of his lips and a softening of his eyes, as he draws closer, looking at the chair for a moment before sitting gracefully. “No, nothing immediate as such. I was simply hoping to speak with you. How are you?” His voice has the Paladin Tone, gentle and nonjudgmental.

“I'm fine.” Jo keeps smiling, a little too widely. “Why would I not be fine?”

“It has been a difficult few months. We have encountered many unexpected things, and the burden of leadership is never heavier than when expected support leadership is…" Colson looks off in the direction of the Keep, "less trustworthy than usual. I understand the need for some level of confidence and pretense, of course, but I do hope that you know that we are all here for you, should you find yourself less …fine, than usual.” Colson smiles faintly at the word in particular.

Jocoza nods reluctantly, and says, "I suppose the infiltration was a blow. And then the Kirin Tor breaking the rules. And then the dragons targeting mages. And then…" Jo trails off again. "We'll figure it out. We always do."

“We will, yes.” He sounds confident of it. “That does not mean it is not difficult in the moment, of course. I do hope you feel safe here, at the least, in the Keep. We have had no reports of any mages taken directly from here. I admit I have been staying close by my sister's side, as a field agent, but your protection is important as well. If you feel less safe, I would be happy to accompany you when you move about the Keep and the Hold.”

Jocoza smiles at Colson. "Thank you, but I don't think a bodyguard will help. You're right that no one has been taken from the Keep. And if I asked you to watch out for me, and something happened to…No, I think it's good for you to stay with your sister.”

Colson looks down briefly at his hands before regarding Jo with a mild expression. "I am not the only one who would remain with Cressidha, or you. Dane, Caspis, Mordecai, any of us are willing. The threat to mages is still present."

Jocoza swings one leg, and the book slides down to her side. "I worry about the ones who aren't here. Who don't know, and we can’t protect them. Is Nish alright? What about Halliday and Lucille, over on the other boat? What can I do about Geth… getting everyone safer?"

Colson nods. His voice has a deep compassion to it. "Of course. It is always more difficult, when you can do little, or nothing at all, for those you feel responsible for, or care for and wish to keep safe. I admit to some concern for even those well protected. Lady Jaina is a well known mage. Losing her would be a devastating blow to the mage community.”

“Or Jennea…” Jo's hand tightens on the book, her little fingers slipping over the surface. “I haven't even spoken to her in ages.”

“Simply being alone can take its own toll. There is a reason why the army keeps Chaplains like Mordecai with it, a confidential place to remove the burden of command, for a moment, to speak of things that weigh heavily upon one's shoulders. It is not weakness to feel as though one is separated from others, and worry for them.”

“That's great for everyone else, but Mordecai is in my mercenary company. Confidential or not, I have a responsibility to him and to you. You can tell I'm worried, of course, but I can't go running to people who depend on me any time I feel undependable.”

“We are not the army, Captain, for all that we may use some of their words. You do not become less dependable for admitting that you are still a person, under the title. We all have our fears, and our doubts. You can, indeed, come to us, when you need it. We are here to share that burden, not place it all upon you. We are a Company, not a monarchy.” Colson offers a small, almost perceptible smile.

Jocoza giggles. "I said I had a responsibility. I would never set myself up as a queen." The laughter fades and she looks more seriously at Colson. "Are you holding up alright? You're one of the people dealing with all this mess, I'm just reading reports"

“I am fine, Captain.” He says it mildly, but there's a bit of a dry tone to it, and a pause. “I have been stressed, from the unfamiliarity with the libram I am studying, and my concern for Cressidha. But it is, unfortunately or not, familiar. There was always some crisis or another in the army, some new worrying report. It never ended.”

“In that way, then, we are a bit like the army. There's always another disaster around every corner. I just hope communication and travel can be sorted out soon. I want to see if our other ship made it okay, take a mage headcount.”

Colson nods. "Yes. We have at the least stabilized the worst of the rift, but I am afraid I do not have the expertise to report how soon the leylines might be stable enough for the mail, or other messages. Miss Whittle's letter came by physical delivery. I suppose it is also possible we could send a message over land. Kit, Dame Kitharian Du Lac, that is, spoke of doing so to inform the Argent Crusade of what has happened here.”

“At least I know Gwen's alright.” Jo smiles briefly, and then looks at Colson. “Part of me thinks that's not a bad idea, but part of me doesn't want to send anyone out into who-knows-what without backup. If we have a volunteer, then maybe.”

“Yes, indeed. We likely all have someone from the other boat that we would very much like to know are well. There is a vast difference in offering the opportunity and giving the order. Perhaps two or three would be willing to make the trip there and back.”

“Maybe we can all make some progress inland soon, now that the immediate threat of the Nexus is alleviated. If… if anyone brings it up, asks for leave to go. Then I'll let them.”

Colson smiles faintly. "It is possible. Or perhaps we shall have others return from the other side, worried for those here they would see for their own eyes are well. I doubt they are easy with the lack of communication either."

“Maybe we will.” Jo glances out over the balcony. “I do hope they're all safe. But only time will tell.”

“Light willing, yes.”

“In the meantime, we'll keep doing what we can, trying to find ways to keep each other safe. That's what we've always done, no matter the threat.”

“Yes. All of us, Captain, together. It is natural to be concerned, and to fear that which we cannot control. I hope you know you will always have my respect for your dependability, regardless if there are times you require assistance with it. Should you need anything, you need only ask. But, I hope you know as well that you do not always need to ask for it. We will all work to ensure your safety here, for your sake as much as any other mage.”

Jocoza draws a breath. "Thank you. And I hope you know I will always try to do the same. And… I do hope we get a few weeks off from world-ending catastrophes for once."

“It does wear on one a bit to need to work on the pronunciation of the plural of apocalypse.”

Jocoza smiles at that one. "At least they tend to be averted apocalypses. Apocaly. Whatever."

“Indeed.” Colson smiles faintly back at Jo, more in his eyes than lips, but there's a lightening of his features. “As for leave, I shall say now that I have been very pleased with the amount of time off we regularly receive. It is a great luxury of working with the Company.” Colson definitely has a skewed perspective from almost eight years of military duty.

“Did you know the 7th Legion has enforced leave every so often? I think it's important to be able to set things down and relax from time to time. None of us can carry this work indefinitely.”

“Yes. As I must remind myself from time to time, we must always remember that we are not solely responsible for the fate of the world. As dire the threat may seem, sometimes all we can do is rest, ourselves. Another must take up that responsibility. Healers tend to be guilty of the worst of it. We always remember to tell others to rest, and then fail to take our own advice. It is why it is for the best that I married another healer. Mordecai keeps me safe from such hubris.”

Jocoza nods. "One could think of it as a sort of humility. There are others that can carry the burden."

“Yes. Even when we feel personally responsible for it, we must remember that we are not alone the only one who can shoulder it.” Wow, subtle, Colson.

“Of course,” Jo nods. “And that's why I've been thinking I should probably go back into the field soon. Set aside this worrying about sending people into danger for a while, and join them in it instead.”

Colson inclines his head. "I understand. Dangerous as it is, I find myself more at ease in the field when I can see Cressidha for myself. If you feel it is best, we will support you, Captain. Will you be considering adding another Captain, with Sir Ference stepping away? To be both in the field and manage a Company of this size can be wearying.”

Jocoza sighs. "I suppose you're right, it’s not a good time for me to go back into the field. Not when there’s so much to manage. Maybe sometime soon, when we're all back together again, and the Cobalt engine's moving along more smoothly."

“When the engines are moving along more smoothly,” Colson agrees. He's hip and with it with gnome metaphors. “In the meanwhile, I hope you shall consider keeping one of us along with you. Perhaps to consider who you might be interested in promoting to a secondary position, or personal assistant?”

“An assistant? But we already have… Mizzy and Oranna. Who aren't here. I'm not even sure who'd be interested. Someone not on squad, certainly.” Jo's face takes on a more animated, thinking cast. “Maybe I could ask around, see if anyone's interested.”

“Indeed. We are rather large. Lady Ismene and Oranna are with the others. More assistants can be of great aid as the Company spreads out, for communication and coordination, if nothing else.”

“It's not a bad idea.” Jo nods “Thanks for bringing it up, Colson. I'll see what I can do.”

“And though he is young, I hope you will consider Ben for a position of promotion to Co-Captain, if you will take the suggestion as merely a personal endorsement. I am certain that he is doing as well as he can with the others, and he is a natural leader.”

“If we decide to go that way, I'll take your recommendation into account. He's certainly been very reliable.”

Colson smiles gently at Jo. "I am going downstairs for a moment, and then returning upstairs to Mordecai. May I get you anything while I am there in the kitchens? Tea? Hot chocolate?" A pause. He's not judging. "Seal Whey?"

Jo looks up at him. “Please no more seal whey.”

Colson chuckles. "It is certainly a flavor."

“Hot chocolate, if they have any?”

“They should, if the recent shipment remains. I shall ask.”

Jocoza smiles. "That would be wonderful. Thanks again."

“Always, Captain.”