(2023-03-01) Following

Details

Author:	inkie
Summary:	Ben catches up with Rae, who offers an apology; they talk about fear, friendship, and what drives them, share some confusion over spelling, and discuss Rae's shadow and what to do about him.
Rating:	T for Teen

Arc: Season 9

Ben approaches the forge, his leather smithing apron slung over his shoulder. He pauses when he sees Rae there. "Hey." He offers a smile.

Ralaea is tinkering with something, probably a new style of bomb. She is missing her goggles. When Ben approaches, she glances at him, then puts the bomb away. "Ben."

Ben raises his hands jokingly. "Don't blow me up. I ain't here to be a bother." He glances over at Jhet Ironbeard and offers a nod, and then surveys the shirtless dwarf dubiously. In this weather, bro?

Ralaea follows his gaze to the dwarf. Her opinion on the apparent shirtless fashion in Northrend is probably evident by now. "I need to… apologize. To you."

Ben blinks at her, and then looks at Jhet again. The dwarf turns away in a very obvious I'm Not Listening fashion. Ben looks back at Rae. "… 'pologize? For why?"

[Ralaea]: Several things, really. The first being… *She glances in the direction of the gulch.* I don't think I was very helpful. Down there.

Ben 's expression relaxes ruefully. "I mean. I don't reckon any of us was, in particular. If we wasn't all five there together —" He shakes his head.

[Ralaea]: You're the reason I'm not still down there, Ben. All I could do was follow you.

Ben 's ears turn red. After a hesitation, he shrugs. "I mean. Then I'm glad? That I was a help. And that you ain't still down there."

[Ralaea]: The second thing is… I went out. Wandering. On my own, and not in the best state. And I promised you I would be careful… but I wasn't.

Ben straightens, shoulders back, his posture hardening to something stern. His expression only smooths to mildness, though. He puts his hands in his pockets. "Why for? I am assumin' it was for a reason, and not just for thumbin' your nose at me."

[Ralaea]: I thought I could… shake whatever feeling still lingered from the gulch. By fighting. But… I didn't end up doing any of that.

Ben glances at Jhet again, who is still turned away in I'm Not Listening fashion, but also has the very slightest head tilt of I'm Secretly Listening. Ben tips his head sideways at Rae. "You want to sit at the inn? Or someplace?"

[Ralaea]: Yeah. Sure. Wherever.

[Ben]: Well, let's call it the inn, then, cos I am gonna freeze my ass off if I ain't by the forge here.

Ben shudders.

[Ralaea]: Right. Sorry.

[Ben]: For what? You make the weather up here? If so, I got requests.

Ralaea opens her mouth to object, then closes it and follows him in silence.

They proceed into the inn’s common room, and then up the stairs to the first available table.

Ben drops his apron over the back of a chair and settles into it.

Ralaea slides into a chair as well, her hands balled tightly in her lap.

Ben leans back to fold his arms across his chest and stretch his legs out under the table casually. He surveys Rae.

[Ben]: You want somethin'? Hot drink?

[Ralaea]: I'm…fine, thank you.

Ralaea tries hard not to look at him, but every now and then steals a glance. It is clear she feels extremely guilty about something.

Ben nods blandly. "Only you don't look fine, is how come I offer. But okay. So tell me what's up. What was up."

[Ralaea]: I just… went out, ran into a vrykul patrol, and… I was going to fight them, but I didn't have to. And then I came back.

Ben nods thoughtfully, his gaze fixed level on her. "Well that's a pretty short story, then. Clears it right up." He pauses. "Except I can't help but feel there is some parts left out." An eyebrow lifts inquiringly.

Ralaea grits her teeth. "Alright! Alright. I came back because… I remembered why I'm here. And someone beat me to killing the patrol."

[Ben]: Ah.

Ben sits up and leans forward to rest his elbows on the table, lacing his hands together. He regards Rae. "You remembered why you're here?"

Ralaea squeezes her hands together. "Who I've… got to kill."

[Ben]: And that is what brung you back?

Ralaea mumbles something about a missed chance. Then, louder, "Yeah. It… cleared my head. The whispers finally… stopped."

[Ben]: How you been since then? About the gulch? An' the whispers? *He watches her somberly.*

[Ralaea]: That place is… like the stories. People disappearing after some dark force plays with their minds. I've always… tried to avoid that sort of thing, but…

Ralaea shudders.

[Ben]: The stories. Like how you talked about in Outlands? The… mushrooms, an' the curse dollies, an' so on? *He's not teasing; his tone is as serious as the rest of his manner.*

[Ralaea]: Yeah. Like those. There are others, too.

Ben nods. "When I was a kid — I told y'all, I think. About the girls an' their corn dollies. Playin' at hexes an' so on. Kid horsesh*t. Also had a neighbor lady who said if you saw a crow by itself on a fence post, it was Medivh spyin' on you. I figured Medivh himself was some horsesh*t too, just another tall tale.”

[Ben]: “An' there was some folks years back who were sayin’ in the war that was on up to the north, there was some kind of sickness or somethin' took in people like a wildfire that was risin' 'em all from the dead, the whole of Lordaeron rotten an’ their prince turned into a monster. Lot’ve it sounded like tale-tellin’, too. Hard to know, with stories, you know? I get that."

[Ben]: I could tell you I think most of that stuff — the stories you’re talkin’ about — is horsesh*t, but I been hell of wrong before, so. *He shrugs.*

[Ralaea]: They're real. People can't make some of this stuff up. There's always truth in it somewhere.

[Ben]: You would be surprised at what some folk can make up, I think. But yeah. I believe in a seed of truth. Sometimes the tangle you end up with is a long f*cken way from that seed, though. But you're right, what is down in that gulch is story-bad. An' worse even than that, I reckon. *He pauses.* Bran thinks it might could be a Old God down there.

[Ralaea]: An Old God?! Why? Why here? Why in that gulch? *She stands up quickly.*

"Sit," Ben says, low-voiced and grim; it has the distinct snap of a field command to it. He glances at the stairs.

Ralaea sinks back into her chair.

[Ben]: We ain't tryin' to start a panic. It is Bran's… hypothesis. Theory.

[Ralaea]: But if it really is, maybe we should panic. Or at least move the outpost somewhere else…

[Ben]: I am makin' reports to the people with the power to do that sh*t. And I am lookin' to when an' where we can move on. I ain't gonna keep y'all a moment longer'n I have to near a thing like that. Whether it is that or no, it's ugly enough.

[Ben]: But that's why I said no one down there, nothin' come up from there, an' we watch people in the Keep to make sure they are careful the same.

Ralaea sighs, relaxing slightly. "Alright. I'll keep an eye out for anything weird, and…I trust that you'll get us out of here at the first chance."

[Ben]: I will, Rae. *He sits back and folds his arms again.*

Ben 's tone gentles. "But so I understand if you was not in your right head, you know? I do. That was a hell of a time for us, an' it is a hell of a somethin' down there."

[Ralaea]: The way it… got into my head like that… It was like the naaru.

[Ben]: … and also not like the naaru. But. *He studies her, a crease between his brows.* I do recollect you was never… easy with the naaru. Why for, if I can ask? Ain't judgin'. Just askin'.

[Ralaea]: I don't like things in my head, Ben. And the way they did it… It was like they were making… suggestions. Forcing their ideas on me.

Ben nods and scratches his jaw. "Okay. Fair. I know you are a private girl."

[Ralaea]: Normally suggestions are like… you can take them or leave them, right? But when they're in your head, it gets to be more than that.

Ben nods again.

[Ralaea]: I… I trust the Light, but I don't want to be controlled by it.

[Ralaea]: And this was the same, only…the suggestion was fear.

[Ben]: I get you. I don't think I am bein' controlled by the Light, personal, for hearin' the naaru, but everyone to his own, yeah? Different people take to sh*t differently. And yeah. What was down there, what it was sayin'…

Ben shakes his head.

[Ralaea]: It felt like it was… reading my mind. Reading… my fears.

Ben shifts his weight. He nods. "An' you said you got out of there because of followin' me?"

[Ralaea]: Yeah. I trust you more than I trust myself. If I held onto the thought that following you's what I'm supposed to be doing, then… I don't have to listen to my thoughts anymore.

[Ralaea]: But it's… very difficult to ignore fear.

Ben 's expression flickers and then smooths inscrutably again. "I would say I am flattered to know you trust me like that, Rae, but 'flattered' ain't really cover it. You want to know what got me out of there?"

Ralaea eyes him and nods.

[Ben]: Two things: the Light an' how I learned to listen for it real quiet, underneath whatever loud sh*t is screamin' in my head — or whisperin' in it — and you.

Ralaea looks slightly startled. "Me? The Light I can understand I guess, but…"

[Ben]: As soon as that sh*t started whisperin' to me about how you all was gonna turn on me, I thought, 'F*ck, if this is what Rae is hearin' too, I can not let her believe it. I can not let no one tell her that sh*t.' So I bore down real hard on the quiet, an' the Light, because I known I had to get you out of there. I mean, get everyone out, I got a responsibility, but once I heard that whisper — you, especially. I was not gonna stand for that.

[Ben]: You understand? So I was concentrated on you — an' on Ace, some, she was not real together — an' on gettin' you out.

[Ralaea]: You think like a leader. Like a good leader. The kind who's always taking the strengths and weaknesses of their squad into account. Kaela Mondragon was a natural at that. I never thought I'd find anyone else who could compare. But you can.

Ben shrugs, still watching her, but his ears redden faintly again.

[Ben]: 'preciate that. But it ain't just takin' strength and weakness to account. It's how I do my best job, you know? On account of y'all. There is knowing you all are behind me to back me up, an' there is knowin' I got a responsibility an' that is my job to do. We owe each other, out there, all of us. I ain’t out there alone, and I can’t leave none of y’all out there alone neither. Yeah? I do my job on account of you, an' on account of the rest. You back me up, an' I look out.

Ralaea smiles a little. "In that, you surpass even her. She could work with anyone, but I don't think we made her any stronger."

Ben glances down at the table, breaking his gaze for the first time. He studies the wood grain briefly, awkwardly. "I 'preciate the hell out of that, Rae. I know… how you respect her."

Ralaea stares at the wall to one side. "I don't think you know the depth of it. Jenzelle… may be the only one who does."

Ben glances up. "How's she doin' out here? I ain't seen much of her around, but I know she is a shy little miss."

[Ralaea]: Ah, well she hasn't come out this far yet. Still helping with the wounded at Valgarde. Lot going on down there. I'm hoping she'll stay there until we leave, then join us wherever we go from here.

Ben nods thoughtfully. "On account of the gulch?"

[Ralaea]: Yeah. She's pretty strong herself, but…everyone has their fears.

[Ben]: Yeah. Yeah, they do.

[Ralaea]: Even though I'm sure most of her worst ones have already happened.

Ben nods grimly. He rakes a hand through his hair. "Well, you lemme know if you get an impression she needs anythin'. I don't reckon she is the kind of girl will just ask for whatever."

[Ralaea]: Oh, I'm sure my brother is seeing to her needs just fine at the moment.

Ben raises his eyebrows. "Uh-huh. Well then." He tries not to smile, and clears his throat.

[Ben]: But I don't recollect we got done with your whole story, neither. Because there was more of it after the gulch?

Ralaea turns to look at him again. She may be waiting for a specific question.

Ben raises his eyebrows at her. Oh it's that kind of conversation. "So you rode out because you was not in your right head. Which I ain't altogether easy with — I did not tell you not to ride out just to boss you, Rae, but for keepin' you safe. Yeah?"

[Ben]: But then there was a part we ain't get to, about some vrykul?

[Ralaea]: I was… close to Skorn. That's how far out I got. Lucky vrykul are loud, so I heard them coming and hid.

Ben nods. "Which is how come you an' Miss Coit was whisperin' together like schoolgirls there. Or was that about somethin' else?" He waits.

Ralaea sighs and leans back in her chair. "Since you're going to get to it eventually, and I don't like the idea of lying to you, I guess I have no choice. I said someone killed the vrykul patrol, yeah?"

[Ben]: You did. An' thank you, about the not-lyin', because I do not like havin' to pull it like a tooth, neither.

[Ralaea]: It was Harvey.

Ben sits straight upright at that, all comfortable humor and patience evaporated. "Morningdew? Here? What he say to you? Where's he now?"

Ralaea shifts uncomfortably. "I don't… know, exactly. He said my name, once, but then wandered off, and…"

Ben waits, his gaze practically drilling holes in her skull now.

[Ralaea]: And then Sunday… I got a letter. Ben, how do you spell Morningdew?

Ben opens his mouth, then closes it again and pauses. He drags a hand through his hair. "I mean. How I spell it — you know spellin' ain't my strong suit, yeah? But…" He squints, and then leans forward to trace invisible letters with his finger on the table, concentrating. "M. O. R. I. No, N, then I. Then — sh*t, I lost my place. M O R N I — 'nother N, G. D. — this is the E. W. one, yeah?"

[Ben]: Sorry, usually I got to write a thing down to see.

Ben shifts, faintly embarrassed, but he's watching Rae gravely again.

[Ralaea]: I guess what I'm asking is… There's no U in it… right?

[Ben]: U? In 'morning'? Not that I —

Ben pauses. He frowns. He bends over the table again to trace invisible letters, mouthing them to himself. "That's — with the U. That's the funeral one, ain't it? Like, mourning for your ma?"

[Ralaea]: I see…

[Ralaea]: He signed it Mourningdew.

[Ralaea]: With the U.

Ben blinks.

[Ralaea]: Anyway, it was… an apology letter? For me having seen him.

Ben rubs the back of his neck, frowning.

[Ben]: A 'pology letter?

[Ralaea]: He's just trying to get me to lower my guard by playing nice.

Ben nods slowly, his gaze drifting speculatively into the distance.

[Ralaea]: I haven't changed my mind about killing him. I haven't.

[Ben]: Okay. You realize that he is… Alliance, now, yeah? They are, technically. Allies, at least. Technically. So that is gonna put you in a bind. If anyone finds out. As your officer, I got to recommend against it.

It isn't clear whether he recommends against killing Harvey or against getting found out. The ambiguity is probably deliberate.

[Ralaea]: If I can get him alone out there, close to another vrykul village, I can make it look like it was them. I had the perfect opportunity with that patrol, but… He surprised me, is all. I wasn't expecting…

Ralaea trails off and clenches her hands in her lap again. "And then he had the nerve to write…"

[Ben]: If you are makin' plans to commit a murder, Rae, I can't be hearin' that. But if you are gonna go out that way again, I got to insist you do not go alone, neither. I told you before not to go nowhere alone, an' I understand why what happened happened, even if I ain't like it. But I don't want you out there alone again. Especially not with — *He pauses. He frowns.*

[Ben]: How the f*ck he know you're here?

[Ben]: The rest of 'em — I thought that whole gang got shipped off west, to the tundra. How'd he show up here?

[Ralaea]: I don't know. Maybe he saw what direction the boat went. They don't sleep, I hear. And it's been a while… he might've… just kept coming? This whole time?

Ben continues frowning into space. "I do not like it. I don't." He shakes his head slowly, and then surveys Rae again. "You feel safe? Right now? Enough?"

[Ralaea]: Yeah. I'm… good, actually. When he left, last time, it was like… Oh. I didn't tell you about that, did I?

[Ben]: I don't recollect you did. Last we talked about it was in Stormwind Cathedral, and you was gonna go to Outlands to shake him, an' Estel an' Ivri was gonna keep eyes up.

[Ralaea]: Mm. Well. There was a time he stopped following me, on his own. I was in Stormwind for the new year, and… I don’t know, I must have fallen asleep. When I woke, he was nowhere to be found. I didn’t feel… watched, anymore.

[Ralaea]: And I don't know why, but… it made me… angry.

Ben raises his eyebrows. He doesn't say anything, though, just nods mildly.

[Ralaea]: I'm not going to lose sleep over him anymore. Not when I know where he is, now. That's better than not knowing.

Ben nods again. "Okay. Long as you feel safe. But you know you got people for that here, yeah? In case you ever don't. And you'll lemme know, if it comes to that."

[Ralaea]: Yeah. I'll let you know. Lena… knows he's around too. The others… I don't know. I don't want anyone to feel nervous knowing there might be a death knight hanging around, watching over their shoulders.

[Ben]: I dunno who'd be nervous. I reckon if folk are uneasy with it, it'd mostly be to pull together on your account. *He shrugs.* You an' Miss Coit gettin' along pretty well, seems like.

[Ralaea]: Lena's good people. The Company's good at drawing them in I guess.

Ben smiles crookedly. "It is. Yeah. An' she is. So I'm glad."

[Ben]: She gets a little wary of people sometimes, too. Handles it more like how I do, I reckon, than how you do, but s'all the same at the bottom.

[Ralaea]: Sometimes people've got to be like that to survive.

[Ben]: I know it. Don't I know it.

[Ben]: But she is a good as hell girl an' so are you, so I'm glad y'all are friendly.

[Ralaea]: It's…easy to understand the ones who've come from Lordaeron. I wonder, sometimes, how Estel's getting on. Haven't spoken with her in… It's been a long time.

[Ben]: Yeah. Yeah, I wonder too. She's got the babies with her, now. *He ruminates for a few moments, then shakes his head.* But I reckon she's okay. Estel's tough as hell too. An' she's hangin' out with Aunt Nir. I reckon the Lich King would take a step back, he comes up on those two together.

Ralaea nods. "Well, I think the Lich King should be more concerned about us, here on his doorstep."

[Ben]: Better be, yeah.

[Ben]: Anyhow, I accept your apology.

Ben doesn't sound entirely serious. He is, again, trying not to smile.

Ralaea takes it seriously, however, and looks relieved. "Thanks. I don't think I could've gone the not telling route. I'm terrible at that."

Ben laughs. "Well, I'm glad to hear that, because I do hate to go the pullin' route, like I said. An' you know I am sharper'n I look." He grins at her.

[Ralaea]: Well some people look sharp and aren't, so I think you've got the better deal.

[Ben]: You know, I have always found it works pretty good for me. *Ben shrugs modestly and scratches his jaw again.*

[Ralaea]: I don't look like anything other than what I am, I think. I hope.

[Ben]: Well, you are a girl inclined to be honest, so. Which is also why it wouldn't sit right with you not to tell, I think.

[Ben]: But you know that if you done a dumbass thing and you come tell me, I ain't gonna lose my sh*t at you. I might tell you it was a dumbass thing to do, but. It is when you don't tell me that we might got a problem. So I 'preciate you.

Ralaea glances at him. "So if I drag my brother up here…going out's fine?"

[Ben]: You gonna keep each other safe?

[Ralaea]: 'Course. But… maybe Tabiana would be better. Bren can't keep a secret either…

[Ben]: I don't want people goin' out alone. I trust my people to get each others' backs, though. I ain't askin' y'all to sit here eatin' sh*tty soup an' twiddling thumbs until Adams says hop to.

[Ben]: So if you got people with you, then okay. Just mind each other.

[Ralaea]: Alright. Then I have to go prepare for a sudden and unexpected vrykul raid which may or may not end up killing one of our "allies."

Ralaea gets to her feet.

[Ben]: I am sorry to say I did not catch much of what you just said, Rae. But I am trustin' you to represent your tabard well. *Ben regards her steadily.*

Ralaea meets his gaze. "Of course."

Ben nods mildly. "Go on, then. And mind yourself."

[Ralaea]: You too. And try not to freeze.

Ralaea waves goodbye to Ben.

Ben smiles crookedly and nods after her.