(2023-02-25) Open Office Hours: Tell Us All About That Fish On Your Application

Details

Author:	Luridel
Summary:	Founder of Cobalt Company Elohad Ference, accompanied by translator Alaisa Lysander, rents out the Dwarven Mining Guildhall in Stormwind for an hour. Today's visitors are Raschal, Maisha, and Kehda. ~3000 words.
Rating:	T for Teen

Arc: Open Office Hours

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mention of animal harm

Raschal hands Elohad several messages, then parks himself on the floor by the desk.

[Alaisa]: Hey.

[Raschal]: Hey.

Elohad looks through the messages, making little 'hm's and grunts.

[Elohad]: Nothing too urgent, but some potential jobs for people… you can file these away at HQ later.

Elohad sets the messages down on the desk.

Alaisa gathers them up and scans them herself. "All right."

Raschal runs a hand back through his hair, which already looks like something may have been nesting in it.

[Elohad]: So what's new with you, Lysander?

[Alaisa]: Oh, the usual. Worried about lack of cross-continental correspondence.

[Elohad]: You and me both, sister.

[Raschal]: I will sprint across the sea for you, sir.

[Elohad]: Sure you will.

Alaisa laughs quietly.

Raschal grins at Alaisa wickedly.

[Elohad]: I'm a little surprised there isn't any arcane infrastructure set up yet. How long have the Kirin Tor been up there now?

[Alaisa]: There ought to be.

Maisha wanders in, looking around the large room.

[Elohad]: Hey, Cloudskimmer! How's work been treating you?

[Elohad]: Redridge work out okay?

Alaisa smiles and nods to Maisha.

[Maisha]: This feels a bit like approachin' a throne. *Maisha smiles at the trio.* Yeah, that Drunagh is a right good partner.

[Elohad]: I thought you two might get along.

Elohad smiles at Maisha.

[Maisha]: They shouldnae have any troubles with gnolls or orcs in the near future, I can tell yeh that.

Elohad grins wickedly at Maisha.

[Elohad]: That's what I like to hear.

[Raschal]: Hey, Freckles.

Alaisa nods approvingly.

Maisha chuckles. "I must no' be the only one with freckles in the company. Hello, bright-eyes."

Raschal winks slyly at Maisha.

Alaisa has freckles.

Raschal peers at Alaisa searchingly.

Maisha indeed darts a look at Ally's freckles and grins.

Alaisa is organizing the messages Elohad gave her now.

[Maisha]: I were headin' south from there, and came into a place where the sun didnae seem to reach proper.

[Raschal]: This sounds like the beginning of a bawdy story…

[Elohad]: Raschal.

[Elohad]: She's being literal, I think.

[Elohad]: You'll mean Duskwood, I suspect?

Raschal eyes the entering draenei.

[Maisha]: Yeh, I didnae tangle with no one down that way in the fashion yeh mean, Raschal.

Kehda sits down at one of the benches. Sile— as silently as Kehda can be.

[Maisha]: Yes, I think that were the place. Darkwood. Duskwood? Is tha' a good place ta help? Only, it seemed a bit dire.

[Elohad]: They can always use help. And it will be particularly easy for you to get work there as a Cobalt Company member, as I'm on the Darkshire Town Council. Go straight to the town hall with your tabard on and they'll fall all over you.

Alaisa smiles. "My brother's been helping in Duskwood. From what he's told me, things are rather dreary there."

[Maisha]: Oh! That so? I'm sorry I didnae mean ta speak bad o' yer neighborhood?

[Elohad]: Mayor Ello Ebonlocke - That's Ello with TWO L's, can help you out. And no, it's fine, it's a hellhole now.

[Elohad]: Used to be much prettier, back when it was Brightwood.

[Elohad]: And Darkshire was Grand Hamlet when it was my father on the Council.

[Maisha]: Ach, my folk do know what tha' can be like. We used ta make our home in Grim Batol, though it were before my time.

[Elohad]: Oh, wow, yeah.

[Elohad]: Your ma has some stories about that. Puts my hair straight on end just to hear about it.

[Maisha]: Grand Hamlet. Now there's a homier name.

Elohad runs his hand back over what's left of his hair self-consciously.

Raschal is still studying the draenei.

[Maisha]: Oh, aye, I believe I've heard all her stories over and again. Yeh'd think its to scare young'uns, but I've heard its all true.

[Raschal]: Sir, there's someone else over there.

Alaisa calls over to Kehda, "Excuse me, are you waiting to talk to us?"

Elohad shivers beside Maisha. Chilling!

Elohad waves at Kehda.

Kehda is reading her picture book. She puts it down on her lap. "Oh, yes! I was waiting for my turn!"

Maisha startles and turns. She is not so observant without her cat nearby.

Elohad beckons Kehda over.

[Elohad]: How polite of you.

[Maisha]: Oh, I'm sorry, miss. I dinnae mean ta monopolize.

Kehda smiles. "No, no, it is my fault! I did not know how this meeting works!"

Maisha steps out of the way to let the very tall woman approach.

[Kehda]: But it was fun hearing you all talk anyway.

Alaisa smiles at her. "That's quite all right. I'm Ally."

[Elohad]: I'm Elohad Ference, Cobalt Company lieutenant in charge of recruiting and member service.

Raschal snickers softly at "member service"

Kehda smiles brightly. "I am Kehda, a new member of Cobalt Company. I am looking to know where I can get my tabard!"

Maisha glances curiously between Elo and Kehda.

[Elohad]: Oh! Ally I don't suppose you remembered to bring any?

[Elohad]: I certainly did not.

[Elohad]: Remind me of your name again?

Elohad peers at Kehda searchingly.

Alaisa looks down. "Raschal, you're up again, can you run and grab us a few tabards?" She passes him money.

[Raschal]: It would be my absolute pleasure.

Raschal sprints off.

[Kehda]: Kehda! Like… Okay, and Dance… but without the 'o'… and the 'nce'!..

[Alaisa]: Who were you recruited by, Kehda?

[Elohad]: … Can you spell that?

Elohad looks confused.

[Kehda]: K-e-d-a! But with an 'h' in the middle! *She smiles.* And Cobalt Blade made me a member of their team!

[Alaisa]: Oh?

[Elohad]: Wait, what?

[Elohad]: That's not— uh, they don't have… recruiting authority, exactly.

Alaisa shuffles papers around on her desk to get out the usual recruitment form.

[Maisha]: They're the team doing group work 'round southern Azeroth? The PR team?

Kehda tilts her head. "Are you sure?"

Kehda nods. "The PR team that went through the Wailing Caverns and Shadowfang Keep!"

[Kehda]: Did you hear about this? That's a great story!

[Maisha]: I did hear tha', yeah.

[Elohad]: You were there?

Elohad blinks at Kehda.

[Elohad]: Tell me how it went…

Kehda nods. "I followed them!"

[Elohad]: Ahhh.

[Maisha]: I heard they chased a monster elf through portals across continents…

[Kehda]: A few weeks ago, I had the honor of exploring the Wailing Caverns with Cobalt Blade, There were five of them. Thalstan, a short but incredibly powerful warrior who strikes his foe with incredible precision; Zaara, a Draenei with the power to hear the—

[Kehda]: Yes they did!

[Kehda]: But that is much later in the story, I need to start with the beginning!

[Alaisa]: If you're interested in joining Cobalt Company, there's a little bit of paperwork for you to fill out. How well do you read Common?

[Kehda]: Very well. I learned in Shattrath!

[Raschal]: Can we do that thing where because I talked them down on the price I keep the difference?

Alaisa stacks the tabards neatly on the desk. "Thank you, Raschal. Yes, of course."

Raschal cheers at Alaisa.

Raschal pockets the whole 15s proudly.

Alaisa offers a form out towards Kehda.

Kehda points to her picture book, written in common. "See? I read very well!"

Elohad gets a look on his face that, if he were Niris, would be followed by his saying, "Bless."

Alaisa smiles at her. "If you need any assistance, I'm the Company's translator."

[Elohad]: She speaks Draenei!

[Alaisa]: I do.

[Elohad]: As well as… everything else, pretty much.

Alaisa nods.

[Raschal]: [Darnassian] Your mind is like the edge of a blade.

Kehda grabs the form, beaming. "I will do okay! I also speak many languages. Draenei, Common, Arakkoa, Ogre…"

Kehda nods at Raschal, giggling. "Exactly!"

Alaisa smiles, amused.

[Maisha]: Yeh speak ogre? Do they have a language?

[Elohad]: Of course they do. I imagine.

[Elohad]: Mostly they yell at me in broken Common.

Alaisa nods.

[Kehda]: Of course! To say 'hello how are you', you just say… *She growls extremely loudly, making an angry face.*

[Elohad]: Or alternatively, ME SMASH HUMAN!!

[Elohad]: That's ogre for "hi there."

Maisha laughs. "Mostly I just hear 'em say things like 'SMASH', yeah."

[Elohad]: As far as I can tell.

Kehda giggles at Elohad.

Raschal snorts.

Alaisa says a very menacing-sounding phrase which is also very growly, in a deeper voice.

[Maisha]: I suppose that could be a come-on for a certain sort, but I'm pretty sure they mean it literal.

[Elohad]: Oh Light, I hope so.

Kehda gasps at Alaisa.

[Elohad]: Because I've heard it a lot.

[Elohad]: They… might think bald is beautiful though, come to think of it…

Elohad feigns a look of abject horror, then grins.

Alaisa smiles mildly.

[Kehda]: Everyone thinks bald is beautiful.

[Raschal]: No one really thinks that.

Maisha laughs again. "I expect they're after th' violence."

[Elohad]: Raschal.

[Kehda]: In all the worlds we have explored as Draenei, there were bald people. And in many, it was a sign of great leadership.

[Kehda]: I will go fill out the form! *She goes to sit back down on her bench.*

[Alaisa]: The word for 'beautiful' in Ogre is fascinating. It's… I suppose a loose translation would be 'a thing too precious to destroy'.

Alaisa says another very growly menacing word.

Kehda goes 'aww' at Ally's explanation of the ogre words.

[Maisha]: Tha' is actually prettier than what I imagine going through their thoughts.

[Elohad]: That's amazing.

[Raschal]: I would argue that nothing is too precious to destroy, under the right circumstances.

[Alaisa]: It took me some time to figure out how to explain the concept I was looking for to the ogre who taught me, I admit.

[Elohad]: You… were taught by… an ogre.

[Elohad]: I didn't know they had the sort that would teach humans things other than how to die in pieces.

[Alaisa]: I was, yes. I prefer to learn from native speakers if there isn't written documentation on the language available.

Kehda smiles at Ally. She thinks they are the doing the same thing.

[Elohad]: Did I ever tell you I was one of the first people on Azeroth to see an ogre?

Elohad has probably told her this dozens of times.

Alaisa smiles. "You did."

[Maisha]: The first on Azeroth? Wow!

[Elohad]: It's quite a story!

[Elohad]: And of those who were there, I might be the only one still alive.

Kehda conjures a quill and lets it fill in her form for her.

[Kehda]: Oh. That is a sad story, then.

[Alaisa]: Indeed.

Elohad tells the story. It's readily available on the wiki, so I won't spam you with it.

[Elohad]: So I was just eighteen at the time, and some of our hunters had gone missing out in the swamp that used to be on the far side of Deadwind Pass.

Alaisa looks politely at Elohad as if she's hearing this for the first time instead of the sixth.

[Elohad]: My dad delegated me to go with a few of our men to go looking for them.

Maisha looks up eagerly, taking in the words.

[Elohad]: We found a trail of bits of their clothing, sometimes caught on a branch here, or a rock there…

[Elohad]: But I figured out quickly that the scraps were spaced too perfectly, leading one right to the other. We were being lured.

Kehda gasps at Elohad.

[Elohad]: But I couldn't be sure if it was the victims or the perpetrators luring us.

[Elohad]: So I kept following. Right to this huge cave.

[Elohad]: Now, I knew better than to go charging into a cave where an ambush had to be lurking.

Maisha nods, of course.

[Elohad]: So I told my men to hide at either side of the cave mouth, and our archer Danna to get up in a tree.

[Elohad]: And then I rode up right outside the cave mouth… and had Danna shoot my horse.

[Kehda]: Ooh, no…

[Elohad]: Not to kill. Just to graze.

[Elohad]: That horse's cry of pain - and mine when I fell off the horse and dislocated my shoulder - was too much for the cave's occupant to resist. It was, of course, an ogre.

[Kehda]: Ooh, phew…

[Elohad]: But keep in mind, we had never seen such a thing before. I was expecting a bunch of bandits.

[Elohad]: And I couldn't get up, I'd hurt myself worse than I planned.

[Kehda]: Oh, no! And it was not human bandits, but ogre bandits!

Alaisa neatens up the pile of tabards.

[Elohad]: My men rushed out, and two of them got their heads smashed in by that giant club. I was sure I was a goner.

Maisha 's eyes widen.

[Elohad]: But Danna put an arrow right in its eye, and it fell crashing to the earth. BOOM.

[Elohad]: We looked in the cave and sure enough, the remains of every single hunter we'd lost. The ogre had eaten them. But their clothes and belongings were still there.

[Elohad]: And that is the story of not only how I was one of the first to see an ogre, but also how I was tricked into thinking we'd removed the only danger in that swamp. I believe to this day that the orcs sacrificed that ogre to hide that they were the ones who killed my men.

[Elohad]: The end.

[Maisha]: Oh, gosh. That's a bit of a happy end and a bit of a sad one.

[Kehda]: But you, Danna and the horse survived, right?"

[Elohad]: We did! For a while, anyway.

[Elohad]: The orcs got Danna in the end. The horse too.

[Elohad]: And here I still am. And doing my best to make it worthwhile that I was spared.

[Alaisa]: You lived to tell the tale.

[Raschal]: At least a dozen times.

[Elohad]: Raschal.

[Maisha]: An' now yer company's doin' so much.

[Elohad]: Yes, like rescuing people who are stupid enough to get themselves trapped in bug pods.

[Raschal]: Touche'.

Alaisa laughs quietly.

Raschal gives Ally a hurt-puppy-dog look, complete with droopy ears.

Kehda sighs. "That story is a sad one, then…" She gets up and brings back the form. She raises her fishtank up, showing her [Sickly Fish]. "Can I have a form for my pet too, now? He would like to be in Cobalt Company!"

Maisha looks curiously at Raschal.

[Elohad]: What the… is that a fish?

[Maisha]: Wait, do we apply pets? Ought I apply Lucky?

Alaisa reaches for the form. "Is your pet sapient and capable of speech?"

[Elohad]: We… do not at this time accept fish into Cobalt Company. But hunter pets are considered to be uh, equipment of a sort.

Kehda turns to Elohad. "Yes!" She turns to Maisha. "Yes!" She turns to Ally. "Yes!"

[Maisha]: Alrigh'. Lucky th' weapon.

The fish does not look sapient. It even looks a little undead-y. Oh no.

[Maisha]: Well, I reckon I ought to head back down to Duskwood. I'll leave yeh and yer fish… to it. *Maisha smiles*

Alaisa looks at Elohad. She looks at Kehda. "Well, I suppose we don't accept fish at this time. Is your fish all right?"

[Elohad]: It doesn't look all right.

[Alaisa]: Light keep you safe, miss Cloudskimmer.

Elohad waves at Maisha.

[Kehda]: Thank you! I hope they will accept your Lucky soon, too!

[Maisha]: An' you all!

[Kehda]: It is very all right! Better than when I found it. I am making it very happy.

Kehda squishes her cheek against the fishtank. "Look how happy he looks!"

[Alaisa]: Judging by the discoloration of its scales, it does not look well.

The fish … might be trying to bite her through the glass.

[Elohad]: Yeah, I am not really the best reader of fish moods, but happy is not what I'd have gone with.

[Elohad]: Maybe you should tell us all about that fish on your application.

[Elohad]: I wouldn't want to forget, when reviewing it.

Elohad is deadpan.

Raschal isn't. He chortles.

[Alaisa]: That fishbowl is too small for a fish of that size, regardless. You'll want to get it a proper aquarium.

Kehda shrugs. "It is a difference of opinion, I suppose."

[Kehda]: But how I would carry him everywhere with me, with an aquarium?

[Elohad]: I'm not sure fish really want to be carried everywhere.

[Alaisa]: It would be far safer for the fish if you didn't.

Kehda shrugs again. "It is also a difference of opinion, I suppose." She conjures her quill again. "I will write about the fish in my application, yes."

[Elohad]: Please do.

[Elohad]: Spare no details.

Elohad may want to remember why she is under no circumstances to be given a tabard.

Kehda nods. "And maybe then you will let him fill in his form too!"

Elohad sighs softly. For every Maisha or Drunagh, there is always one of THESE.

[Alaisa]: You will likely receive a written response to your application within the week.

Raschal meanwhile is trying to furtively attach paperclips to the hem of Kehda's gown.

Kehda begins magically writing a full on novel on the back of this form. "I will need more sheets, please!"

Raschal's paper clips look suspiciously like the ones Ally uses.

Alaisa passes over an extra couple pieces of paper.

[Alaisa]: If you need more time, you can submit the form to our headquarters in Ironforge.

Kehda eventually spots Raschal, giggles, and lets him do it. She turns to Elohad and Ally. "And do not forget Thalstan said I was going to be a member of Cobalt Company!"

[Alaisa]: We need to clear out of this location, as our rental hour is up.

Raschal stops attaching paper clips once he becomes aware that Kehda approves of this.

Alaisa begins gathering up her things on the desk, including the stacked tabards.

Kehda sits on the floor. "It will take some time to write the fish's whole story, yes, I will send it to Ironforge. Do not worry, I will stay here and explain myself if anyone else comes."

[Elohad]: Yes, you can drop off your completed application at the headquarters in Ironforge.

[Alaisa]: Very well.

Elohad sighs softly.

Kehda beams.

[Elohad]: Thanks for your help as always, Lysander.

[Alaisa]: Of course.

Raschal rises and dusts himself off.

Alaisa gets her stuff and departs, leaving Kehda to become someone else's problem in the future.

[Raschal]: [Darnassian] Want to break into someone's house with me and rearrange their furniture?

[Alaisa]: [Darnassian] Not today, Raschal.

Alaisa laughs, though.

Raschal sighs at Alaisa.