(2023-02-03) Chapter II: A Druidic Dilemma, Part 1 (Cobalt Blade)

Details

Author:	OzmaAsimov
Summary:	The Cobalt Blade gathers in Booty Bay on a mission from Auralind to investigate the fate of a famous druid and his followers.
Rating:	T for Teen

Arc: The Cobalt Blade

Sharpgear is enjoying some rum.

Vesyllah descends the stairs of the Salty Sailor Tavern with a woeful sigh. Just because.

[Sharpgear]: Hey there, bright eyes.

Sharpgear winks slyly at Vesyllah.

[Vesyllah]: Hey…Stabbyface. Eh…not good at nicknames when the sun is up.

[Sharpgear]: Stabbyface works.

Thalstan descends the stairs of the Salty Sailor Tavern with a spring in his step.

[Sharpgear]: Hey there, Beardy McBeardface!

Vesyllah peers at Thalstan. "Ugh…why are you so cheerful?"

Vesyllah flops into a seat at Tadget's table.

[Sharpgear]: Because we're in the greatest city on earth?

Thalstan raises one bushy eyebrow and touches a hand to his beard. "I assume yer talkin' ta me?"

[Sharpgear]: Welcome to TADGETZAN.

[Vesyllah]: Tadgetzan. Heh.

[Sharpgear]: This is my town.

Sharpgear thumps a tiny fist on the table.

[Vesyllah]: That so? I think the goblins might disagree.

[Sharpgear]: Let 'em try to disagree to my face.

[Vesyllah]: Your stabby, stabby face.

[Sharpgear]: So stabby.

[Arthur]: disagree? who would dare?

[Sharpgear]: Hey there, silver fox.

[Sharpgear]: Uhhh, you think Zaara knows how to… get here?

[Vesyllah]: Uh…hopefully someone can put her on a gryphon that knows the way.

[Sharpgear]: Not sure I like the idea of her wandering around all these crazy ramps and stuff by herself.

Arthur tosses his hair around a bit. "Oh good question. It was quite the trip.

[Sharpgear]: Oh! There she is.

[Zaara]: Hello! Hello!

Arthur greets Zaara with a hearty hello!

[Sharpgear]: Good job with all the crazy ramps!

[Zaara]: I am speaking to the sea!

[Sharpgear]: Of course you are.

Vesyllah cringes as the cheerfulness levels break the meter.

[Arthur]: I bet the sea has a lot to say around here.

[Zaara]: Wengeance, thank you for fire bottles!

[Vesyllah]: Huh? Oh…right. Sure.

Sharpgear nods at Arthur.

[Thalstan]: I do hear it a lot. Tha' an' seagulls.

Zaara nods at Arthur too.

[Sharpgear]: As water goes, the sea is pretty chatty.

Zaara lowers her voice conspiratorially. "It has much to say about… goblin."

Zaara looks around shiftily.

[Sharpgear]: Probably complaining about all the crap they throw in it.

[Zaara]: Yes. So crap.

Sharpgear nods. "So crap."

[Zaara]: Now! Who are we doing?

Sharpgear snickers.

Vesyllah smirks.

[Vesyllah]: Yes, who are we doing?

[Arthur]: we have caverns to investigate!

[Sharpgear]: Yeah, I saw that letter. Crazy stuff.

[Sharpgear]: Night elves, man. No offense.

[Zaara]: I did not see the letter!

Zaara laughs.

[Thalstan]: We-ell, druids I suppose? Tha's what we're lookin' into, yeah?

Sharpgear giggles at Zaara.

[Sharpgear]: Somebody's gotta volunteer to read Zaara the letters.

[Sharpgear]: Not it.

[Arthur]: I will!

Sharpgear cheers at Arthur!

Zaara beams in Arthur's general direction.

[Vesyllah]: All you, Artie.

[Sharpgear]: If I wanted to read to people I’d be home with my kids or something.

[Vesyllah]: Goddess…I keep forgetting you're a mom. Wild.

[Sharpgear]: Me too.

[Zaara]: Wild!

[Sharpgear]: Wild mom. Feral mom.

Arthur takes out a neatly folded letter from the front pocket of his overalls, and reads it aloud.

[Vesyllah]: Stabby mom.

[Zaara]: A wild mo— *Zaara hushes to hear the letter.*

[Sharpgear]: Raising stabby kids.

Sharpgear hushes too.

[Arthur]: Cobalt Blade, You have a new mission. Several years ago, a famed kaldorei druid named Naralex discovered a network of natural underground caverns within the heart of the Barrens.

[Thalstan]: Heh, mebbe you ought to meet my ma someday. Reckon she raised more of an axey kid.

Sharpgear tells Thalstan to be quiet. Shhh!

[Arthur]: They were dubbed the 'Wailing Caverns' for the mournful wails produced when the steam fissures within vented. Naralex believed he could use the caverns' underground springs to restore fertility to the Barrens.

Sharpgear makes quiet wailing sounds. Spooopy.

Zaara tilts her head attentively. "Ooooh," she mouths silently to herself.

[Arthur]: Something went wrong.

Zaara nods somberly.

[Arthur]: Once he began his druidic rituals, the Wailing Caverns began to change, – the waters turned foul and the once-docile creatures inside metamorphosed into vicious, deadly predators.

Sharpgear makes Predator Faces.

[Arthur]: It was thought that Naralex perished, and that those of his followers that survived had gone mad. But my contacts in the Cenarion Expedition tell me they have learned of a rumor that Naralex lives, and his sect remains strong within the caverns.

[Zaara]: Wild!

[Arthur]: You are to investigate the situation and learn the truth of Naralex's survival, as well as the current status of his acolytes. If our worst fears have come to pass and they have fallen to Nightmare, do what must be done.

Sharpgear draws a finger across her throat.

Sharpgear grins.

Arthur looks very somber as he reads, "Destroy them."

[Zaara]: I understand maybe half of this. But okay! Caves, bad waters, bad druids.

Vesyllah grins wickedly.

[Sharpgear]: I've never stabbed a bunch of crazy druids before. Sounds like fun!

[Arthur]: Travel to Booty Bay and meet with a goblin called Shizpik. He works as a guard for the shop 'All Things Flora'. Shizpik is the last person known to have emerged from the Wailing Caverns alive and with their sanity intact.

[Sharpgear]: Shizpik, eh? Okay.

Thalstan nods, and rises from the table.

[Thalstan]: I saw that shop up 'bove.

[Arthur]: Elune light your path, ~ Sentinel Auralind Mistwalker.

Vesyllah rolls her eyes as Arthur finishes the letter, muttering, "Sentinel Auralind Mistwalker. So full of herself…."

[Zaara]: Oooh, we are maybe to lose sanity and tact? Hm.

[Arthur]: That's the letter.

[Sharpgear]: Mistwalker's all right.

[Thalstan]: We-ell, she is a Sentinel, ain't she?

[Vesyllah]: Eh…she's pompous.

[Sharpgear]: She's badass.

[Zaara]: Badass!

Vesyllah snorts. "Whatever."

[Thalstan]: Callin' yerself by yer own title's not pompous, I dinnae think.

[Sharpgear]: She's blind like you, Zaara! Well, not exactly like you.

[Zaara]: Hello, stairs.

[Zaara]: Mist-walker is like a shaman name.

[Vesyllah]: Herbalist shop is this way.

[Arthur]: So many ramps!

Sharpgear grins wickedly at Arthur.

[Zaara]: This wood is so exciting, yes. Wood rams. So much falling to do!

Sharpgear puts a companionable arm around Zaara's calf.

[Zaara]: Oh! Small touch.

Zaara beams down vaguely at Tadget.

Vesyllah sniffs. "Got some nice grass here…"

Flora Silverwind says: Welcome to All Things Flora! I'm Flora. How can I help you?

[Sharpgear]: Plants. Booooring.

Flora Silverwind frowns at Tadget's assessment of her life's work.

[Thalstan]: We're lookin' fer a person by name o' Shizpik. You know 'em?

Sharpgear shrugs at Flora Silverwind. Who knows?

[Vesyllah]: Pfft. Plants are amazing. You can do all kinds of things with plants.

[Zaara]: Yes! Plants!

Sharpgear leans against Arthur's leg like a bored toddler.

Arthur plants his feet so he's steady.

Flora Silverwind says: Shizpik? Oh yes of course. I pay him to guard my outdoor specimens. He's just outside if you turn left as you leave.

[Sharpgear]: Righty-O.

[Sharpgear]: Spotted him, I think.

[Zaara]: Thank you!

Zaara beams at Flora Silverwind.

Thalstan waves his thanks to Flora as he heads out.

Thalstan turns to the totally-here-and-alive goblin, and says, "Hello, sir, you Shizpik?"

Shizpik says: Yeah, whaddaya want?

Zaara beams at Shizpik.

[Sharpgear]: Information.

[Thalstan]: Ha' yeh been somewhere like a cavern in recent days?

[Sharpgear]: Maybe a sort of wailing type one?

Shizpik says: The Wailing Caverns? I ain't goin' back there! I don't care how much yer offering!

Thalstan nods at Tadget. That sort.

[Thalstan]: Nah, nah, we're not askin'. Jes for informationh!

[Sharpgear]: Relax.

Shizpik says: Oh, just information? Well, that's different. If you want to get yourselves killed, that's your own business. But it'll still cost ya.

[Arthur]: It's all right. We only want to know what happened.

[Thalstan]: How much're yeh askin'?

Shizpik grins.

Shizpik says: How much ya got?

[Sharpgear]: One copper.

[Arthur]: One [Target Dummy].

Shizpik frowns.

[Zaara]: Fifteen [Small Lustrous Pearl]!

[Sharpgear]: Zaara!

[Zaara]: What?

Thalstan shushes Zaara.

[Arthur]: Sweetie, that's too many.

Shizpik says: I dunno…my memory is gettin' pretty fuzz-…whoa, lemme see those pearls!

[Zaara]: But —

Sharpgear sighs at Zaara.

[Thalstan]: I got some deeprun rat kabob. Verra tasty.

[Sharpgear]: Fine, show him the pearls.

Zaara purses her lips. She reaches into the pouch at her waist and produces one (1) [Small Lustrous Pearl].

Zaara holds out the pearl. "Fifteen!"

Shizpik steps forward to inspect the pearl. He fits a jeweler's eyeglass to his eye — standard gear for goblins.

[Sharpgear]: She's not good with numbers.

Zaara blinks big, innocent eyes. "This is not fifteen?"

Shizpik says: No, sweetheart. That ain't fifteen. But you got more of these?

[Zaara]: No, only this fifteen.

Sharpgear giggles.

Shizpik says: Jeez, yer cute. Fine, gimme the fifteen pearl.

Zaara beams.

Thalstan smiles benignly at the whole arrangement.

[Sharpgear]: Cute will get you far in this world.

Vesyllah rolls her eyes.

[Zaara]: Cute and booty.

Arthur is glad he doesn't have to start a fight today.

Zaara pats her gem pouch.

Sharpgear giggles at Zaara.

[Thalstan]: So, now yeh remember what happened?

Shizpik holds out his hand for the pearl.

[Sharpgear]: She can't see you, numbskull.

[Sharpgear]: Zaara, hand it to 'im.

Shizpik says: Eh? Why not?

Shizpik says: I'm not THAT short.

[Sharpgear]: He's low to the ground, so you might have to bend over.

Zaara leans forward and holds the pearl out carefully in the general direction of the goblin.

Sharpgear admires the lean.

Shizpik greedily snatches the pearl.

Shizpik says: So, yeah, I've been to the Wailing Caverns. Nasty place. I didn't even get that far in, and thank Gallywix I didn't! If I had, I'd probably have been cursed, too!

[Sharpgear]: Oooooh, a curse!

Sharpgear claps excitedly.

[Arthur]: Cursed?

[Thalstan]: Cursed how?

Shizpik says: Oh yeah, everyone else in my expedition went in too deep and got a horrible curse on 'em. Lost their dang minds. All except Bigglefuzz. He avoided it somehow.

[Zaara]: Big ol' fuzz.

[Sharpgear]: What's different about Big ol' fuzz?

Shizpik says: Heck if I know. But he came out curse-free. I wasn't with the first team, so I didn't see everything that happened.

[Sharpgear]: I'm probably exempt from losing my mind, seeing as how I lost it already.

Shizpik says: Last I heard, Bigglefuzz retired from the life of adventure and is working as a crane operator in Ratchet. Hey, if you see him tell him he still owes me 20 gold from our last game of Kalimdor Hold 'Em!

[Sharpgear]: Sure thing, buddy.

[Vesyllah]: Ratchet? Ugh…

[Thalstan]: Hmmm, alrigh', so mebbe we should ask this big ol' fuzz about the curse.

[Thalstan]: There's a boat ta Ratchet jus' down the dock here.,

[Arthur]: Thanks, Shizpik. This really helps.

[Sharpgear]: I love Ratchet! It's a good time.

Shizpik says: Sure thing! Come back any time ya got more pearls!

Sharpgear greets Arthur with a hearty hello!

[Sharpgear]: I love Booty Bay.

[Arthur]: i just remembered! I have something for you.

[Sharpgear]: For me???

[Vesyllah]: Booty Bay is cool. Ratchet sucks.

[Arthur]: and for you!

[Vesyllah]: Eh? Why? I mean, what?

[Sharpgear]: Oh my gosssssssh, Jo has one of these!!

[Vesyllah]: What…is this?

[Sharpgear]: IT'S A MECHANICAL SQUIRREL.

[Arthur]: It's a mechanical squirrel. I made it!

Vesyllah blinks slowly. "Why is this?"

[Sharpgear]: I'm going to have to introduce it to Jo's!!!

Sharpgear gently pats Mechanical Squirrel.

[Sharpgear]: If you don't want it I'll take it. TWO SQUIRRELS.

[Arthur]: it's a way to work on fine gear fitting and automation.

[Arthur]: Zaara! Here.

Vesyllah cradles her mechanical squirrel possessively. "You already have one…"

[Sharpgear]: I got a squirrrrelllll

[Zaara]: Thank you, I am here!

[Sharpgear]: Race ya!

[Sharpgear]: Arthur made me it.

Thalstan does not seem to entirely understand.

[Thalstan]: Well now, tha's a fancy gif' then.

Sharpgear cackles maniacally at Arthur.

[Vesyllah]: I'm gonna go change. The Barrens is a hot place.

[Arthur]: for you!

[Thalstan]: I'm gonna keep tha' armor on. Who knows wha' we'll find

[Sharpgear]: You know, squirrels can be deadly when cornered.

[Zaara]: I have a toy! From a box! From Trouble!

Sharpgear tells a joke.

[Thalstan]: He gave me one too! Helluva nice thing ta do, Trouble.

Thalstan tells a joke.

[Sharpgear]: Our squirrel army will take over the world!

[Sharpgear]: Scuse me, do you know a Bigglefuzz?

[Sharpgear]: He's owed twenty gold.

Sharpgear jingles her coin purse.

Wharfmaster Dizzywig says: Oh yeah? He owes me five! Maybe he'll finally pay me. Bigs runs the crane down at the end of the dock.

[Sharpgear]: Got it.

[Sharpgear]: Kinda hard to miss.

Zaara pats her gem pouch again. "Fourteen pearls, still. If we need."

Sharpgear grins wickedly at Zaara.

Vesyllah snickers.

Sharpgear greets Crane Operator Bigglefuzz with a hearty hello!

[Thalstan]: This yer crane sir?

[Sharpgear]: You the guy Shizpik owes twenty gold?

Sharpgear jingles her purse again.

Bigglefuzz says: Yep. Whatcha need? Be quick. Time is money, friend.

[Sharpgear]: Information.

Bigglefuzz says: Eh? About what?

[Thalstan]: Ha' ya been in the Wailing Caverns recently?

[Sharpgear]: The Waaaaaaaailing Caaaaaaaverns… *she echoes, making it spoopy.*

[Zaara]: Oh! This sounds so spoopy!

Sharpgear giggles at Zaara.

Bigglefuzz says: If nearly a year ago is recently, sure.

[Sharpgear]: Okay so, how did you manage to not lose your gosh darn mind like the other guys?

Bigglefuzz says: Oh you wanna know how to get into the Wailing Caverns without losing your minds? Heh, that ain't gonna be easy. Turns out it takes some special alchemy, but I lost half the formula.

[Zaara]: Maybe he does! Do you have your gosh darn mind?

[Sharpgear]: Of course.

[Arthur]: we talked to your buddy and he needed smelling salts.

[Thalstan]: Yeh lost half? What if we can find it for yeh?

Bigglefuzz says: Then I can help ya out!

[Sharpgear]: And Ves can mix it up for us I bet.

Bigglefuzz says: See, one of our other expedition crew, Magglish, came poking around just a few days ago. Seems he thinks he can undo the curse with my brew. But even if he could, he doesn't even have the whole potion!

Vesyllah nods. "As long as I know what I'm mixing."

[Thalstan]: So we jus' got ta find this Magglish.

Bigglefuzz says: I chased him all the way to the Wailing Caverns, but no way I was going back in after him. Still, I doubt he got far enough inside to trigger the curse. He never had much direction sense, and it's easy to get lost in there.

Bigglefuzz says: You get my, uh…ingredient, back from Mad Magglish, and I can help you brew up the inoculant against the curse. If he hasn't guzzled it all, it should still be in a 99-year old port bottle.

[Sharpgear]: Wait, so in order to find the thing that will keep us from losing our minds, we have to go in far enough to lose our minds?

[Zaara]: There is a port in a bottle?!

Bigglefuzz says: If he's gone that far in…well, then we're screwed. But if I know Magglish, he's wandering around the upper caves, completely lost.

[Arthur]: Port is fortified wine, cutie.

[Thalstan]: Alrigh', we can check the upper part. Move out if we start feelin' wigglish.

[Zaara]: Oh.

[Sharpgear]: Also I'm already completely cracked, so I might be immune.

Bigglefuzz says: Oh! I almost forgot. You'll want to talk to Mebok over there about the other half of the potion. He's the real alchemist.

[Sharpgear]: Mebok, youbok, and webok.

[Zaara]: Bok bok bok.

Thalstan nods and then pauses. "Wait… it sounds more like we got to find both halves?"

With arms flapping, Sharpgear struts around Zaara. Cluck, Cluck, Chicken!

[Arthur]: oh no.

[Sharpgear]: Well he said he only lost half.

Bigglefuzz says: He's set up over there on the other side of the bank.

Thalstan lets out a sigh. "We can do it, jus' tryin' to be upfront about things."

[Sharpgear]: He knows where the other half is, right over there.

[Thalstan]: Sir, yeh were pointed out ta us fer information on half an alchemical concoction.

[Sharpgear]: The anti-bonkers deal.

Mebok Mizzyrix says: Oooh, I know what this is about. Bigglefuzz sent ya, huh? Yeah, I can help with the curse inoculant.

Mebok Mizzyrix says: Okay, so listen up.

Sharpgear listens intently to Mebok Mizzyrix.

Mebok Mizzyrix says: Whatever is happening in the Wailing Caverns is messing with the mind and even mutating the creatures of the Barrens. So we need some pure samples of untainted Barrens creatures to counter it.

Mebok Mizzyrix says: The raptors of the Barrens are smarter than raptors in other lands. And I think all that smarts is hiding in their horns!

Mebok Mizzyrix says: If so, then I could grind their horns into powder and use it to make "smart drinks." I could sell them for a fortune!!! Er…I mean, the smart drinks are half of the potion to inoculate you against the curse.

[Sharpgear]: Uh huhhhh.

[Zaara]: This is not how horns work.

Mebok Mizzyrix says: Find me intact raptor horns from sunscale scytheclaws. They roam in the southern Barrens, and in the northern Barrens near the border of Ashenvale Forest.

Sharpgear giggles at Zaara.

[Sharpgear]: Where do you hide your smarts then?

Sharpgear peers at Zaara searchingly.

Thalstan looks a little skeptical, but nods. "If yeh say this'll help."

[Zaara]: In my brains.

Mebok Mizzyrix says: Who's the alchemist here? I know what I'm doing.

Vesyllah coughs.

Sharpgear giggles at Vesyllah.

[Thalstan]: Maybe raptor horns is different, Booty.

[Zaara]: No.

[Zaara]: But okay!

Zaara whispers loudly, "This is like the fifteen pearls, yes?"

Sharpgear admires the small army of mechanical squirrels.

[Thalstan]: We'll jus' get tha horns an' see what happens.

Mebok Mizzyrix says: Now let's try it…

[Vesyllah]: I'm dubious…but we're dealing with goblins and we'll have to play their game. THIS is why I hate Ratchet.

Mebok Mizzyrix says: Ugh! That's terrible!

[Thalstan]: Look on tha bright side, I bet I can make some nice armor kits outta those raptors.

[Sharpgear]: Nice.

[Sharpgear]: Squirrels away!!

[Sharpgear]: Also us.

[Vesyllah]: So…we going after this Magglish guy first? Or the ratpors?

[Zaara]: Squiwelsaway!

[Sharpgear]: Raptors I imagine.

[Thalstan]: Hmmm, raptors are farther from the caverns, mebbe a safer start?

[Sharpgear]: Whatever you say, boss.

[Zaara]: What ever you say boss.

[Sharpgear]: I wonder what else I could get Zaara to repeat.

Zaara beams.

[Sharpgear]: Lions!

[Zaara]: Excuse!

[Thalstan]: Wow, now tha's cool! Lions!

[Sharpgear]: Always wondered why Stormwind uses a lion as its symbol when they're only on Kalimdor.

[Thalstan]: Jealousy, mebbe?

Sharpgear laughs at Thalstan.

[Vesyllah]: Probalby used to find them in the Eastern Kingdoms. These all used to be one land, y'know.

[Sharpgear]: But they'd never even been to Kalimdor.

[Thalstan]: Arthur, what d'yeh think? Yer human.

[Sharpgear]: Yeah, maybe they just went extinct back east.

[Sharpgear]: Arthur is human??? Just kidding.

[Zaara]: Arthur is human?!

Sharpgear laughs at Zaara.

[Arthur]: they knew the stories about them.

[Vesyllah]: I think maybe Booty's codename ought to be Echo.

[Zaara]: Echo!

[Zaara]: Why? I like Booty.

[Thalstan]: Booty suits her, tho.

[Sharpgear]: Me too.

Sharpgear giggles.

[Vesyllah]: She literally just echoed 'Echo'…and you don't think that suits her?

[Thalstan]: Heh. Got a point.

[Thalstan]: Raptors ahead!

[Zaara]: Echo… echo… echo.

[Vesyllah]: Whatever. Codenames are dumb.

[Sharpgear]: YOU'RE dumb.

[Zaara]: Wengeance is cooooool.

[Sharpgear]: Wish you could see the zhevra, Zaara, they're super cool.

[Sharpgear]: They have STRIPES.

Vesyllah makes a kind of bored sneer at Tadget…but gets over it.

[Zaara]: Stripes! I love.

[Sharpgear]: Been a long time since I've been out here.

[Zaara]: What do they do with the stripes?

Ornery Plainstrider attempts to run away in fear!

[Sharpgear]: Do with them? They just, y'know, look cool.

Zaara blinks at Sharpgear.

[Sharpgear]: Do you even know what stripes are?

[Zaara]: … oh. I am think of another thing, I think.

[Sharpgear]: I hate to ask.

[Vesyllah]: I'm asking.

Sharpgear laughs.

[Zaara]: It is the circle? With the rod.

[Sharpgear]: Hey Ves, where's your squirrel?

[Sharpgear]: You shouldn't keep it all cooped up in the box.

[Vesyllah]: You're afraid I'm gonna hurt the machine's feelings?

[Zaara]: Squiwoow!

[Sharpgear]: It'll rust.

[Vesyllah]: With what moisture?

[Sharpgear]: Hehehe. "Moist."

[Zaara]: Its tears.

[Zaara]: From being in box.

[Sharpgear]: Yeah!

Vesyllah lets out a long, drawn-out sigh.

[Thalstan]: Awww yeh made 'em so they can cry?

[Sharpgear]: Let it out! Free the squirrel!!!

[Zaara]: Free skrill!

[Sharpgear]: Everybody's doing it.

[Vesyllah]: Hey Artie, can you make a mechanical spider?

[Arthur]: not yet.

[Zaara]: Mechanical talbuk?

[Vesyllah]: What the fuck is a talbuk?

[Sharpgear]: I've got a mechanical one of these.

Sharpgear points at Ornery Plainstrider.

[Zaara]: Talbuk is a majestic beast.

[Zaara]: Of Draenor.

[Sharpgear]: You're just saying that because they look kinda like you.

[Sharpgear]: Really tall with hooves and horns.

[Vesyllah]: So, they're hot?

[Zaara]: What? This is very offensive.

[Sharpgear]: Yeah, I'm super rude a lot of the time.

Zaara laughs. "I make a joke."

Sharpgear giggles at Zaara.

[Vesyllah]: Fel, these raptor's brain-horns are more fragile than I'd have expected.

Ornery Plainstrider attempts to run away in fear!

[Zaara]: But also yes! You are super rude.

[Sharpgear]: I mean it would help if we were actually killing RAPTORS.

[Thalstan]: Talbuks a thing folk eat, ain't it?

[Sharpgear]: Hard to find raptor horns on birds and hyenas, for sure.

[Zaara]: Talbuk is many usefuls! Like sheep. Sheeeeeeep.

Sharpgear giggles at Zaara.

[Thalstan]: We-ell, tha birds an' hyenas are in tha way!

Zaara bursts into dance.

Sharpgear tells a joke.

[Thalstan]: Mebbe work our way back a li'l further south.

Vesyllah smirks slyly at Sharpgear.

[Zaara]: Nuggets!

[Sharpgear]: Any idea where these caverns are, exactly?

[Sharpgear]: Might as well scope the place out, if we can.

[Vesyllah]: I think I know.

[Sharpgear]: Been a long time since I've been in the Barrens, and I've never had much in the way of business out here.

[Thalstan]: Hm, close ta here? Should we look fer tha' one fella while we're out?

[Vesyllah]: There's an oasis north of here. Pretty sure the Wailing Caverns are there.

[Sharpgear]: I stink at decision making.

[Thalstan]: Let’s check it out.

[Sharpgear]: But yeah, I wouldn't mind an oasis.

[Sharpgear]: Oh my gosh, these stupid fleshy mechanostriders.

[Vesyllah]: Fleshy…mechano-….

[Vesyllah]: CENTAUR!

[Zaara]: This is joyful water!

Sharpgear giggles at Zaara.

[Thalstan]: Tha' it?

[Thalstan]: I see a cave o'er there.

[Sharpgear]: Glad it isn't grumpy water.

[Vesyllah]: Elune, smite this Kolkar Stormer with your punishing light!

[Sharpgear]: Okay, NOT a fan of these guys.

[Sharpgear]: Some oasis this turned out to be.

[Thalstan]: Werid ta' see all this green here.

[Vesyllah]: Fuckin' centaur ruin everything.

[Sharpgear]: I don't hear any wailing.

[Sharpgear]: Sure this is the right one?

Vesyllah shrugs. Who knows?

[Thalstan]: Alrigh', we're only goin' in a bit. You start feelin' shaky yeh speak up, got it?

Zaara hums and sways.

[Thalstan]: An' if we don' find this fella, maybe it's… oh, there's the wailin'.

[Sharpgear]: Oh. Yep, there it goes.

[Thalstan]: Mus' be tha place.

[Zaara]: Oooooooh.

[Vesyllah]: Tadget and I are already half gone. So maybe we're resistant.

[Thalstan]: Some kinda hangin' ornaments.

[Zaara]: EAT A STORM.

[Thalstan]: Mebbe a person this way?

[Vesyllah]: Tauren by the look of them.

[Zaara]: Oh… this is bad water.

[Thalstan]: Bad water?

[Zaara]: Very strange.

[Vesyllah]: Look khere.

[Sharpgear]: Anyone losing their marbles yet?

[Vesyllah]: Someone slept here.

[Zaara]: Water's dreams are bad.

Sharpgear peers at the campsite.

[Thalstan]: Camp here, yeah, but no one here now.

[Thalstan]: We can wander a bit more?

[Zaara]: Be careful! Of dreaming water!

Devouring Ectoplasm begins to make a copy of itself!

[Vesyllah]: Dreaming water?

Zaara spreads her hands to indicate the pool.

Sharpgear hurries out of the water.

[Vesyllah]: What's that even mean?

[Sharpgear]: Look, I just do what I'm told by people who can hear water dreaming.

[Zaara]: The water is… hm.

[Vesyllah]: Ugh…fine.

[Arthur]: all right?

[Thalstan]: Nothin' in tha' corner I checked.

[Zaara]: I will think so I can explain. Sometimes.

[Sharpgear]: What was the guy's name again?

Devouring Ectoplasm begins to make a copy of itself!

[Sharpgear]: That we're looking for?

[Vesyllah]: "Mad" Magglish.

[Sharpgear]: Nothin'.

Sharpgear adds some extra spoopy wailing noises, softly.

[Sharpgear]: I can see how this place might drive someone a little batty.

[Thalstan]: Ah, a fella attacked me!

[Thalstan]: Jus' came outta nowhere!

[Zaara]: Ah! Is he maddish?

[Sharpgear]: Welp. I think he lost his marbles, but… look.

[Thalstan]: I would ha' talked to him.

Sharpgear points to the bottle he's clutching.

[Arthur]: I think he was.

[Vesyllah]: Does he have the port?

[Thalstan]: Looks like it.

[Thalstan]: Guess we got what we came fer, poor soul.

[Zaara]: We take the port to the port.

Zaara laughs.

[Sharpgear]: Not looking promising as a cure for loopiness though.

Vesyllah picks up the bottle, peering at its contents.

[Zaara]: Common so stupid language!

Thalstan kneels for a moment by Magglish, in respect.

[Arthur]: he didn't talk at all? just…attacked?

[Sharpgear]: Yep.

[Sharpgear]: Totally bananapants.

[Vesyllah]: Honestly, this just looks like wine.

[Thalstan]: Yeah, no word a'tall. Just an axe.

[Arthur]: We've got to be careful.

[Sharpgear]: If that goblin just sent us down here for wine…

[Zaara]: ba na na pants

[Thalstan]: Back ta tha raptor horns then.

[Vesyllah]: Goddess, I hate centaurs…

[Zaara]: I reckon goblin sends us just for wine.

[Thalstan]: So how've ya all been since las' time? Zaara I saw at Bruuk's, but tha rest…?

[Sharpgear]: Fine. Hung out with my spawn some.

[Arthur]: studying. So much!

[Sharpgear]: Engineering or magic? Or both?

[Vesyllah]: Just trudging through the dreariness of life in this miserable world.

Sharpgear nods at you.

Thalstan smirks at Vesyllah.

[Zaara]: Wengeance! That is so sad.

[Vesyllah]: Eh.

[Sharpgear]: That's kind of her thing.

[Arthur]: both. but lots of theory!

[Zaara]: Her thing is sad?

[Sharpgear]: Ugh, theory.

[Thalstan]: Well ya got tha blade fer experiment.

[Sharpgear]: Oh man. Wish Zaara could see the girafes.

[Sharpgear]: They are WILD.

[Sharpgear]: You would not believe me if I described them.

[Zaara]: Do!

[Thalstan]: They're wild critters.

[Vesyllah]: They look ridiculous.

Thalstan gently pats Wandering Barrens Giraffe.

[Sharpgear]: Okay, picture a talbuk…

Zaara nods seriously.

[Vesyllah]: But with a leg for a neck?

[Sharpgear]: Now picture it has big orange spots all over it.

[Sharpgear]: Now grab its head and streeeeeeetch its neck until it's longer than the rest of it put together.

[Zaara]: … it has a leg neck?

[Sharpgear]: It has a LEG NECK.

[Arthur]: a very long neck.

[Sharpgear]: Only its legs are SHORTER than its neck

[Zaara]: I… do not picture.

[Sharpgear]: Its neck is like a tree trunk.

[Sharpgear]: with a head sitting on top.

[Vesyllah]: It's the most improbable of creatures.

[Zaara]: Is it very big head?

[Sharpgear]: Regular size head.

Thalstan chuckles, rustling his mustache.

[Arthur]: not really big.

[Sharpgear]: It's so weird.

[Zaara]: Why is it tree neck?

[Sharpgear]: I don't KNOW.

[Sharpgear]: Titans got drunk or somethin.

[Thalstan]: Mebbe they like high leaves.

[Zaara]: Common is so stupid animals.

[Arthur]: to reach the high leaves.

[Thalstan]: More'n low leaves.

[Sharpgear]: But why not make the whole thing taller?

[Zaara]: Oh, high leaves, yes. I see.

[Sharpgear]: Why stretch just the neck??

Zaara laughs. "I do not see. But I see!"

[Sharpgear]: They shoulda just made the whole dang animal taller.

[Vesyllah]: Toldja. Ridiculous animals.

[Vesyllah]: Feel the vengeful gaze of Elune, Sunscale Scytheclaw!

[Sharpgear]: I am deeply offended by giraffes.

[Zaara]: Oh no!

[Zaara]: Why?

[Sharpgear]: They offend my sensibilities.

[Zaara]: Terrible.

[Sharpgear]: I don't like long stretchy things.

[Thalstan]: I dinnae think they're so bad.

[Sharpgear]: No offense to you long stretchy people

[Vesyllah]: I'm pretty short for a kaldorei. So…

[Sharpgear]: But giraffes are worse.

Ornery Plainstrider attempts to run away in fear!

Sharpgear checks to make sure her squirrel is still following.

[Thalstan]: 'f you all did want ta hang out sometime, Zaara an' I are doin' the Bruuk's thing.

[Thalstan]: Like the ole Lieutenant an'

[Sharpgear]: Oh right, because whats their butts are in Northrend?

[Thalstan]: his pal used ta.

[Zaara]: We eat peanuss.

Thalstan nods.

[Zaara]: And bad mouth beer.

Sharpgear cackles maniacally at Zaara.

Vesyllah snorts!

[Thalstan]: Ah, a few!

[Thalstan]: Migh be more in here.

[Sharpgear]: Now we're cookin'.

[Vesyllah]: Looks like a whole nest of 'em.

[Thalstan]: Nice! Lotta raptors!

[Sharpgear]: Bunch of em!

[Thalstan]: A good pack!

[Thalstan]: An they seem ta be the smart kind.

[Sharpgear]: I stabbed that one right in the pooper.

[Vesyllah]: Gross.

Sharpgear cackles maniacally at Vesyllah.

[Thalstan]: Ach, Mayhem, really?

[Sharpgear]: I stab whatever I am presented.

[Vesyllah]: Must you brag about that particular stab?

[Sharpgear]: So delicate!

[Sharpgear]: Lah dee dah!

[Zaara]: Lah dee dah!

Sharpgear giggles at Zaara.

[Sharpgear]: It's like having a pet parrot.

[Vesyllah]: Just make sure you clean the shit outta that blade.

Sharpgear laughs at Vesyllah.

[Thalstan]: Hm, think tha's it for this nest. We can come back in a bit an' see if there's more.

Vesyllah smirks slyly.

[Vesyllah]: Cool…

Sharpgear grins.

Vesyllah gazes at the bloody feeding pit.

Sharpgear giggles at Vesyllah.

[Sharpgear]: Nice dress, Ves.

[Vesyllah]: Uh. Thanks.

[Vesyllah]: Feel the vengeful gaze of Elune, Sunscale Scytheclaw!

[Sharpgear]: THE PLAINS WILL FLOW WITH RAPTOR BLOOD.

[Sharpgear]: That oughta do it.

[Vesyllah]: Think that's enough smarts?

[Thalstan]: I am no' sure I trust these goblins, but we got both their halves.

[Zaara]: No smarts. Just horns.

[Vesyllah]: I definitely don't trust them. But I don't see that we have much choice.

[Vesyllah]: We could threaten them…but that's not a great idea in Ratchet.

[Sharpgear]: Yeah, you pretty much always just have to assume goblins are cheating you somehow.

[Sharpgear]: And just do your best to compensate.

[Thalstan]: Like I said, you start feelin' somethin' in that cavern, we get out. We do no' trust goblins tha' much.

Sharpgear nods at Thalstan.

[Thalstan]: I am no' leadin' my people inta madness.

[Sharpgear]: Luckily, I never feel things.

Thalstan huffs a laugh at Tadget.

[Vesyllah]: Kodoshit. You feel glee when you're stabbing. I see you.

Sharpgear cackles maniacally at the situation.

[Zaara]: Gleeeeee.

[Thalstan]: So long's you comport yerself like a hero.

[Sharpgear]: Glee!

[Thalstan]: Heroes stab stuff a lot, I read all the novels.

[Sharpgear]: It's the feeling you get when your brain finally lets your heart get in its pants!

[Zaara]: Heart pants?

Thalstan peers at Tadget, not quite sure about that one.

[Thalstan]: I dinnae think my heart has pants.

[Sharpgear]: Mine does.

[Thalstan]: Likes to wander a bit more free.

[Zaara]: I have no pants in me.

[Sharpgear]: Oh so your heart goes commando?

Thalstan nods firmly.

Sharpgear cackles maniacally at Thalstan.

Thalstan waves at Mebok Mizzyrix.

[Thalstan]: We got yer horns.

Mebok Mizzyrix says: Now let's try it…

Mebok Mizzyrix says: Ugh! That's terrible!

Mebok Mizzyrix says: Now let's try it…

Mebok Mizzyrix says: Ugh! That's terrible!

Mebok Mizzyrix says: Now let's try it…

Mebok Mizzyrix says: Ugh! That's terrible!

Mebok Mizzyrix says: You got the horns! Those things are going to make me a fortune! I mean…they're gonna be super useful to protect you all!

[Thalstan]: Riiight. *Thalstan raises one eyebrow so high his eye seems larger*

Mebok Mizzyrix says: Now I just need to grind them down and mix them with some wine, and…

Mebok Mizzyrix says: Uh…why don't you go chat with Bigglefuzz while I take care of this.

Sharpgear tries to mimick Thalstan's expression.

Vesyllah sighs at Mebok Mizzyrix.

Zaara can't see Thalstan's expression so she just keeps beaming.

[Sharpgear]: Goblins, amirite?

[Thalstan]: We will be back righ' soon.

Mebok Mizzyrix says: Now let's try it…

Mebok Mizzyrix says: Ugh! That's terrible!

Sharpgear cracks several of her joints.

Bigglefuzz says: Time is mo-…oh, you're back! And alive!

[Sharpgear]: Yep.

[Sharpgear]: We're hard to kill.

[Thalstan]: We found tha fella, but he attack on sight. I'm afeared ta say we had ta defend ourselves.

Bigglefuzz says: And the wi-…the ingredient?

Sharpgear nudges Ves.

[Thalstan]: Yeah, we found the port bottle. *Thal gestures to Ves*

Vesyllah gives Bigglefuzz a skeptical glare as she hands over the bottle.

Bigglefuzz says: Fantastic! You have no idea how much this is worth. I mean…uh…of course you do. Because it's part of the potion.

[Sharpgear]: Uh huh.

[Thalstan]: The potion. Which yeh will make fer us now. *Thalstan's brow looks stormy*

[Vesyllah]: I smelled it. It's not just a port bottle…it's port.

Sharpgear lets out a long, drawn-out sigh.

Sharpgear plops down on the ground in resignation.

Bigglefuzz says: Okay, you got me. There's no potion. Magglish was just convinced that my port was what saved me from the curse. Nonsense, of course. There is no curse. We made that up to keep people away from whatever treasures might be inside.

[Sharpgear]: You piece of—

Bigglefuzz says: Whoa whoa! Easy, sister!

Thalstan 's brow looks even stormier.

Bigglefuzz says: It's still too dangerous to go in there. The creatures in that place have turned into monsters! But if you really wanna die, who am I to stop you?

[Sharpgear]: No one, that's who.

[Thalstan]: So yeh got no help fer us?

Bigglefuzz says: Your funeral. You still might want to talk to Mebok about his alchemy. He's been studying the samples we got from those creatures. He might have something for you.

[Sharpgear]: We don't need any stinkin goblin help.

[Sharpgear]: We're the COBALT BLADE!

Bigglefuzz says: Up to you. But he knows his stuff.

[Zaara]: COBOLT BLADE!

Sharpgear looks to Thalstan.

[Arthur]: Cobalt Blade!

[Thalstan]: I am righ' disappointed in yer integrity Mr. Bigfuzz. But I will talk at yer colleague again if yeh think it wise.

Sharpgear cheers at Arthur!

Vesyllah mutters, "He did have some legit ingredients that I could see. He's the real deal."

[Sharpgear]: Fine, fine.

[Zaara]: You are a liar, and the water does not like. Someday the sea will eat you.

Zaara smiles sweetly at Crane Operator Bigglefuzz.

[Sharpgear]: Oooh, nice one, Zaara.

[Arthur]: oh, light.

Thalstan looks at Zaara with a touch of a new wariness.

[Sharpgear]: Okay, I will accept a small amount of stinkin goblin help, I guess.

[Thalstan]: Is tha' jus' an insult, or can yeh do that, Booty?

[Zaara]: I do not do it. The water will. I only tell him.

Thalstan looks impressed.

[Sharpgear]: The sea's been eating people for millennia without Zaara's help, I'm pretty sure.

[Thalstan]: Okay, the jig is up, mister.

[Zaara]: Yes.

Mebok Mizzyrix says: The jig…?

[Sharpgear]: Wow, now we have another echo.

[Zaara]: It is up!

[Thalstan]: We know there is no curse. But… th'other fella says you still migh' have somethin' innerestin' fer us.

Mebok Mizzyrix says: Biggie told you, huh? Fine, there's no curse and no potion. But my smart drinks could still be useful. That is…if I can get them to work.

[Thalstan]: If yeh can.

Mebok Mizzyrix says: The raptor horns didn't work so well. But that's all right — no one got rich on their first try! And besides, I think I found something that'll work even better in my smart drinks!

Sharpgear sighs at Mebok Mizzyrix.

Thalstan looks at him with stony skepticalness.

Mebok Mizzyrix says: There is a substance called Wailing Essence, and I think it is the cause of the strange plants and animals in the Barrens. Get me some and I'll try it in my drink!

Mebok Mizzyrix says: Oh yeah, and studying this stuff might help cure the wildlife and blah, blah, blah.

[Thalstan]: Will yeh pay us fer it?

Arthur sighs at Mebok Mizzyrix.

[Zaara]: … to drink the cause of the strange?

[Thalstan]: If we're helpin' yeh ta get rich… goes ta reason.

[Sharpgear]: I'm not drinking any goblin concoction, but yeah, I'd be fine with a profit-sharing arrangement.

Mebok Mizzyrix says: What…ya mean helping the poor…innocent…helpless animals isn't a good enough reason for you?

[Sharpgear]: Pay. Us.

Mebok Mizzyrix says: Grrr…FINE.

[Thalstan]: I am no' convinced it will help. But we're goin' inta the caverns anyhow. So pay us.

Arthur looks perfectly innocent.

Mebok Mizzyrix says: I'll pay you if you come back with Wailing Essence. Deal?

[Zaara]: We are heroes! You should pay us!

[Sharpgear]: Oh, we'll be back, for sure.

Mebok Mizzyrix says: …with Wailing Essence!

Sharpgear sighs at Mebok Mizzyrix.

Thalstan nods. "I'll take tha'. 'Cause we'll be back."

[Sharpgear]: Yeah.

Mebok Mizzyrix says: Pleasure doin' business with ya!

[Zaara]: We will bring you strange to drink. You will have bad dreams forever.

Zaara shrugs at Mebok Mizzyrix.

[Sharpgear]: I'm gonna crash at the inn here. Talking to goblins exhausts me.

[Vesyllah]: Yeah…same.

[Arthur]: yeah, i think you're right there.

[Thalstan]: Good job today, all. Even if the goblins were…. gobliny.

[Thalstan]: Cobalt Blade, dismissed! Next time we go inta tha caverns!

Zaara lets out a long, drawn-out sigh.