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| Details |
| Author: | Athena |
| Summary: | Elohad comes across Oranna in the Ironforge Cobalt Company Headquarters, and they figure out how to get Oranna to where she feels she needs to go. 4k-ish words |
| Rating: | T for Teen |
Arc: Season 9
In Ironforge HQ, early in the morning.
Oranna sits at a lap-desk, an engineered contraption that holds stacks of paperwork, an inkwell, and a pen. Oranna is staring at it, as though she's not seeing it at all.
Elohad wanders in looking rumpled and sleepless. He blinks. “…Oranna?” Elohad rubs his eyes as though he may be slightly worried she's a hallucination.
Oranna startles badly at the noise, knocking the inkwell over to spill it across a paper. "Wha'? Aye, yes? No! Wha'?" Her face crumples as she looks down at the ink.
Elohad pulls out his pocket watch and looks at it.
"I'm sorry, sorry." Oranna is almost muttering it, as she tries to contain the spill, as she stands up partially into the desk and then back down. “Sorry.”
“It's fine. I just… I wasn't expecting anyone to be here.” Elohad rubs his eyes again. He grabs a rag and hands it to her. “Uh, will this help?”
"Oh." Oranna's eyes are watery as she tries not to cry at spilled ink. "Oh aye. Thank ye." She takes the rag and sets it on the ink, and it takes her just a moment before she looks back to Elo. "Elo?"
“If you came here to work alone, I can — I'm not even sure why I'm here. I just didn't want to wake up Nir and Dane, they were both so peaceful, and I couldn't stay still. You need me to go? Or… stay?” Elohad peers at Oranna searchingly.
There's a faint sound of purring from behind Elo's usual chair.
Oranna shakes her head in a strange, almost frantic negation, tiny motions of it like she's almost shivering. "No, no, it's fine. It's….wha' time is it?" Oranna looks at Elo and it's visible in her face that she might not have slept much in recent days.
“Almost four in the morning. Have you been here all night?” Elohad takes his usual chair.
Oranna turns the shake into a nod, as she looks at the ink spill like it's the worst accident she's ever caused. "I'm sorry. Aye. I jus'…I didna…" She licks her lips and coughs to clear her throat from a rough edge. "It's too empty. The house. It's too empty.” Oranna is still blotting at the ink with the rag as though it'll fix anything.
“I uh…” Elo rubs the back of his neck. “I'm sorry if this is an insensitive question, sweetheart, but I've been on squad and also … lots of other things, but… did something happen with you two? I haven't seen him in a while, now that I think about it…” Elohad rubs at his face like he's trying his best to come to full alertness now that he realizes there is a Serious Situation happening.
Oranna makes a small, wounded-animal sound and squeezes her eyes shut hard as she holds onto the ink stained rag.
Elohad watches her carefully, but doesn't move to touch her just yet, trying to get a better read on the situation.
“No. It's no'…he's no'.” She makes another small sound. "There's nothin'…I still. He's still." She's squeezing the rag hard enough that small bits of ink are spilling over onto her fingers.
“It's okay. Take your time. I have nowhere to be.”
Oranna's breathing takes several seconds to even out, going from ragged to slow and methodical. She opens her eyes and sets the rag down, ignoring her ink stained hand. "Bargrimm's…missing." The words come out like they're individual bullets fired painfully.
Elohad's eyes widen. “Where was he last seen? What was he doing?” Elohad seems to have instantly and perhaps prematurely gone into problem-solving mode.
Oranna stares at the ink on the ruined paper. "It's been…he's been, e'er since th' portal. It was wha' he did, afore, in the First…th' First War. A quartermaster. An' he wanted ta help, and I wasna…I was still…" Oranna blinks rapidly, her eyes red. “I couldna go. An' he didna want ta leave me, an' so he went back ta it. The Alliance needin' help with supplies an' lines. An', after th' Battle. The Light's Hope Battle, he was…they called fer volunteers an' he's been.”
Elohad tries to put it together from her broken sentences, brow furrowing in thought.
Oranna's teeth do a brief chatter like she's cold and shivering, but it seems to be just nerves, as she moves her left hand to her right arm, squeezing it hard. "They ha' started…movin'. Ta th' North. They said th' ships were safe. Th'…th' hulls."
Elohad frowns. “But the ship… didn't return?”
Oranna curls into herself more as though she's trying to protect the paperwork from something. "An' he went with them. He said it was safe. As safe as they…could. Th' ships were comin' back. But…his ship. Th' ship. Came back, an' he…" Oranna looks down at the ruined paper. There's still the bottom half of it clear, and she picks it up and holds it out to Elo without looking at him.
“He went missing somewhere… up there?” He takes the paper.
The paper is an official notice from the Alliance, informing the Next of Kin. The topmost portion is illegible from the ink, but the pertinent information remains: Bargrimm Stormbreaker is missing in action.
Elohad studies the paper grimly. “You should know, we're about to send a bunch of us up there. Cobalt Company people. We can keep an eye out… there are a lot of ways a person could go missing and still be all right. Do you want me to tell folks? So they can search?” Elohad peers at her.
“He's missing.” Oranna insists on the word like it's crucial. “Missing. He's no'…he canna be…” She shakes her head in furtive motions. “I'm a tracker.” She looks to Elo with big brown eyes, red rimmed and exhausted. Oranna doesn't look like she could track a giant brown bear through a white snow at the moment, but she sniffles and holds her chin up, squeezing her arm. "I need to find him, Elo."
Elohad looks surprised. "You want to… go? Up there? To… Northrend?" There is slightly more stress on each question mark.
Oranna doesn't look like she wants to go to Northrend. But she might look like maybe she needs to go to Northrend. "He's missing." That stress again. "If anyone can find him, I…I will. I can. I did afore, I jus' found him, an' he canna be….he canna." Oranna looks to the right and her expression goes a little distant before she refocuses on Elo. "Elo, please. I…I can find him. He's missing."
“If they knew him to have perished, they'd have told you.” His voice is gentle. “All we know now is that .. they don't know where he is. So you're right. Someone needs to look. But I need you to be very certain that you know what you're asking.”
Oranna blinks rapidly, and there's a tremble to her lips that she tries to stop by pressing them together. That makes talking harder though, so she tries opening them, making a small pained sound. "He'd go fer me, without e'en a second thought. It…I ha' ta."
“Northrend is a very dangerous place. Most of us aren't going. I'm not going, because I'm just old enough that I'm worried I don't have what it takes. I don't know that… I don't know how well folks will be able to protect you. But I understand why you feel the pull to go. I do. You have no idea how well I understand.”
“Elo, I canna run away from him. He needs me. An' I…this is wha' I'm supposed ta be able ta.” Oranna inhales shakily and mouths a word that looks like 'Sunbeam.' “This is wha' I can do.”
“I've always believed that. You know I have. I just want to believe that you believe it.” Elohad studies her.
“I ha' ta try. Because he's missing. Because he has ta be missin', Elo. He has ta be." She looks at him like maybe he can make it true, that if Elo says it, it's true. "They didna say 'dead.' They didna…there was no…body. An' tha' means I can find him.”
There's a deep rumble purr from behind Elo's seat.
“If he can be found,” Elo says, unintentionally naming the source of the rumble, “then it would be you who could do it, for sure. But I need you to get your head on right, or at least somewhat right, before I book you a spot on a ship. I need to know I'm not throwing you off a cliff. If I tell you that I'm going to put you on a ship there, will you be able to sleep? Eat properly? Can you take care of yourself and get yourself in a reasonably good place over the next few days? Physically you seem healthy, and I don't doubt your aim.”
Oranna looks at Elo and touches the ink hand to her face. "I'm no'…I've…." Her face crumples and she leans more over the desk. "I jus' canna sleep in there. In th' house. I can hear it e'erywhere. Elo…" It's almost a plea. "I dinna wha'…wha' if he's no' missin'? Her voice breaks, sounding small, and very young for a 94 year old. "Elo, I cannae…wha' if he's gone? I'm no'…"
“I'm going to level with you Oranna, and I need you to make space for this in you somewhere. I need you to hold two things in your head at the same time, and be okay with it. Can you try for me?”
Oranna rocks back and forth slightly but she nods, a tiny motion of her head as she holds her right arm against her left, as though she's holding onto herself. "Aye."
“Okay. Deep breaths. I've been where you are. Lost people with no trace. Sometimes I found them again. Sometimes I did not. People who were everything to me. My wife, my son, my daughter, my best friends.”
Oranna looks to the right, before she starts taking almost oddly perfectly timed deep breaths. It's almost a metronome of breathing, exacting.
“I need you to understand that right now, it is both things. Until we know, it is both. He is fine, and he is not. And in either case, Oranna, I need you to understand that you can be all right. You can keep going. You can have a good life. There is no reason to mourn him, because as you say, he is just missing. That is what they said. That is all they know. You don't need to torture yourself with the worst because if he turns out fine, that's wasted tears.”
“Ye said…ye an' Auralind both. When ye lost…when ye…ye both lost tha' person, tha'…whole world. An' ye kept goin', but Elo. Ye both said, it was yer daughters tha' picked ye up, an' I…we havena…I wasna ready ta. An' now wha' if tha' was it?” Oranna looks at Elo like maybe he has the answers to the big questions. "Wha' if tha' was all the time, an' my only chance, an' now it's gone."
“It doesn't have to be a daughter. It can be anyone. A friend. Someone you don't even know yet. The only thing I know for sure is, he is not the only person who will ever love you and help you and make you a better you. Whether you find him or not, you need to know this. Even if he's fine, even if he comes back and everything is like it was, you need to understand that he is not what makes you you. Either way, you need to know, that Oranna Stormbreaker matters. That you are a person, and that he loves you for a reason. Reasons that many others can and will love you, in a thousand different ways.”
Oranna squeezes herself harder. She doesn't look like she believes this at all, her face briefly showing a devastation of complete lack of faith that it will be okay, before she closes her eyes and her face starts going a little blank. "I will do it, Elo. I'll do whate'er I ha' ta. Eat. Sleep. Get on th' wall." Oranna opens her eyes to stare at Elo, and there's a different Oranna looking out of those eyes. There's something a little empty in them, but there's an absolute resolution Elo's never seen before. "I will do it. I'll get there, Elo. I can handle it. For him. I will keep tryin'.”
Elohad looks back at her, and he does not look particularly reassured.
“I'll find a way ta him. I'll get him back.”
“And if you don't? You'll be in Northrend. Surrounded by Light knows what dangers. There are other people who care about you, who do not want you to just… run off into a snowstorm and into the maw of a dragon because things didn't go the way you're sure they have to go. I know that you're hurting, and if I had time I would say, just wait. But we've been allowed to send some folks, and it's going to be soon. I need to decide.”
Oranna's expression shifts, as she looks to the right, and she swallows. "There's nothin' out there tha's gonna be worse than bein' in here, in mah head, tryin' jus' ta hope. I'm no' foolish, Elo. If I'm runnin' inta a dragon maw it's because I know I can. Because I know dragons, an' I know terrain, an' tha's wha' I've been training fer. I know how ta survive. An’ if I run inta a snowstorm…I’m a Stormbreaker.”
Elohad grins. “See, and that's the thing. I honestly think you'd be great up there, if you could get your head on right, and part of me really, really wants you to see that.” Elohad considers.
Oranna's holding onto herself with both arms, but she's staring hard at Elo with that resolute, slightly empty look. It's a sniper's expression, those calm, steady, metronome breaths. “I'll find a place ta sleep, Elo. I'll do it.”
“Would you object if I assigned you a partner? To keep an eye on you? Would you listen to that partner if they told you that you weren't thinking straight?”
Oranna flinches.
“If they told you you needed to eat more, to get some rest?”
“I ha' a partner. I ha'…” There's something almost panicked in her voice, before it calms, suddenly, and she nods. "Aye. I'll do it."
“I don't mean that kind of partner. This is part of what worries me. Your singular focus. Your dependence on one person. I need you to see that there are other kinds of support. Hm?”
“I ha'…” Oranna's right hand reaches for a bag, touching it. “I ha' my list, Elo.”
“List? Right, I remember.” Elohad nods.
“The Third Prong.” Oranna is getting ink on the Cressidha bag. It's fine.
“Is there anyone from Cobalt who could help you feel settled? That you'd trust to tell you if you're going off the rails? I can't spare anyone from the squads, but we've got others going too. I could assign someone to help in your search.”
Oranna blinks and hesitates. Her eyes go back and forth a little, looking first at Elo, and then off towards the portals. Maybe she thinks that's where Niris' house is. "I…I'd trust ye. An' Niris. But…"
“We're staying. Because, as I say, Northrend is dangerous, and neither of us is in fine form. I can't say that enough.”
Oranna nods, and there's a distraught look in her face as though she's trying to think of someone, and the same name keeps popping up in her head.
Elohad waits patiently.
“I dinna…I know tha' Dane would keep me safe. From…anythin' tha' would be…” She trails off, holding onto herself tighter, that calm wobbling around her lips as she presses them close together. “Dane.”
“Unfortunately he's going to be leading a squad.”
“An' he's…aye. He's busy.”
“I need someone who can make this their mission, too. I'm trying to think who you might know that's going or probably going…” Elohad racks his brain.
Oranna looks back and forth rapidly like she's thinking and she lifts her head. Some of the blankness fades with warmth. "Lireen Cloudskimmer. She…when I was…after I left th' squads, she was…there. She saved me afore, an'…" Oranna inhales deeply. “Lireen.”
“I need her here training warriors. But if there's no one else…” He considers. “I might be able to make that work. I'll talk to her.”
Oranna nods in small, tiny motions. "I dinna who else would…tha' isna already…all th' people I know are…" Oranna squeezes her arm so hard something creaks. "Dane. Ben. Cress. They're all on squads."
“I can talk to her. Get another warrior trainer for a bit. I'd certainly trust her with the responsibility. I do know she thinks the world of you.” Elohad nods, settled.
Oranna looks uncomfortable. "I dinna…I'm no'…tha' important, Elo. If she…if ye think tha'…I won't. I'll…I'll find another option, if ye canna…"
“You're important to me. Cobalt Company wouldn't exist without you.”
Oranna blinks rapidly, her eyes brighter, but she looks down at the desk, slightly ink stained.
“I believe in you more than you ever have, but I hope one day you will see you the way I do. This might help, if it goes right. I pray that it will.”
“I left it. Like I…do…everythin'. When it got too hard, too much. An' Bargrimm.” She hitches on the word. “He said it was righ' ta tak th' break. But if I hadna…if I had jus' stayed. I came back, but no'…I've jus' been here…doin'.” She gestures at the papers.
“Nobody's story is one continuous unbroken line, Oranna. Do I have to remind you what I was doing before I founded Cobalt Company? But that doesn't define me. I was a deserter in the war for a few days. That doesn't define me either. We fall, we get back up.”
Oranna looks at Elo and there's a pained expression on her face, but warmth in her eyes. "I…I dinna know how many times I can fall, Elo. I'm no' ye. I'm no'…I've ne'er been tha' kind of strong."
“Not yet, maybe. You don't know who you'll be in a year. All I'm asking is that you let yourself stay open. Open to love, open to change, open to happiness.” Elohad pats his palms on his thighs firmly, decided. "I'll send a letter to Cloudskimmer right away and let her know. I know she'd want to see Flintspark home safe, too. He's kin to her, in a manner of speaking."
“Storm…Stormbreaker.” Oranna's voice breaks on the word, and she pushes through it with a voice gone thick. "He had it changed. Official. Bargrimm Stormbreaker."
“Right.” Elo looks abashed. “I'm sorry. I knew that. Just… old habits.”
Oranna's teeth chatter again, but she just nods. Maybe it covers the teeth chatter.
Befound makes a low, deep rumble purr that vibrates the wood nearby.
“Now you'll listen to Cloudskimmer if she tells you to take it easy, or to go ahead, hm? You trust that she's looking out for both of you?”
“If ye've talked ta Lireen, ye'll know tha' it's really th' only thing I could do.” Oranna almost smiles. It's there, a little, on the edge of her mouth. “She has a way about her.”
Elohad grins. “All right then. I feel a little easier about it then. I think this can work.” Elohad nods decisively.
Oranna nods again, and looks at the desk. "I'll need ta…get someone. Ta…th'…paperwork. Th' Company's big enough now tha' it's no'…someone has ta be th' one ta do it."
“Oh, well, that kind of works itself out, actually.”
Oranna looks at the paperwork. She might be too tired to parse that sentence as she stares at the ink stain. "Wha'?"
“I've just demoted myself to Lieutenant and am going to be mostly doing admin stuff, and that would wrap nicely into my role. I can have Lysander handle some of the more menial stuff. Uh, don't tell her I said that.”
Oranna exhales a strong enough breath to blow a sheet of paper to the floor, as though she's been holding onto it so tightly that it's coming out all at once.
“But yeah, I'm going to be focusing on things like membership and recruiting, and… well, paperwork. I have really great handwriting.”
Oranna tries to stand up to catch the paper, and just hits the desk again.
Elohad retrieves the paper. Elohad hands it to her with a warm, slightly amused smile.
“Will ye…do ye need the chicken, er, th' baby wire?” Oranna sets the paper back where it belongs.
“The… what now?”
“Fer th' wee one. Ta keep him from th' papers an' the shelves. We ha' it, jus'…” Oranna points to a corner near the ale. Sure enough, there's chicken wire there. “Baby proofin'. We had some traps, but…”
“Oh uh… um, I think we're fine at home, safety wise. Thank you. I'll be doing the paperwork here, and baby will stay at home.”
“If yer here, I mean. With th' wee lad. Or is…is he big now?”
“He's… very small still, and he doesn't come here.” Elohad 's mouth is twitching in a way that does not befit the seriousness of this transition.
Oranna looks at Elo and holds out her hands for an approximate size of a two year old child. "Verra small, or…?" She sniffles slightly, but she brings her hand up another six inches. "Small?"
Elohad holds his hands exactly eight-month-old Dane apart. "This size. He can't walk yet."
Oranna looks appalled. "He…he canna?" There's a look of sympathy as she reaches out to Elo automatically. "I'm sorry, Elo. Ah…th'…do ye need any treats?"
Elohad's mouth is going crazy now. He's trying hard though. “I think… I think human babies grow up around the rate dwarven babies do, sweetheart. We just don't get to be adults as long. But anyway, Nir mostly cares for him, and I'll be just a few steps away if she needs help. Better than being on squad and leaving her all alone for days at a time.”
Oranna tilts her head. She's never seen a dwarven baby and it shows. "Oh, aye? I'm…I'm sure it'll work out, Elo. He'll be up an' walkin' in no time."
“Yes. Probably so.” Elohad nods solemnly.
Oranna looks settled by that. Whew. Poor thing. "I should…" She looks at Befound, and there's a sudden look of almost panic. "Oh, lass. Why didna ye no' say somethin'?!"
Elohad peers at Oranna searchingly.
Oranna shifts the desk away from her on a swivel and stands up properly. "Befound, c'mon, lass." She looks at Elo, and smooths a hand over hair that looks frazzled. "I'm sorry, I need ta…she hasna…I dinna think I fed her in th' last…" She looks around. Oranna looks guilty and distraught, but Befound trots out from behind Elo looking fine.
“You take care of that. I'm going to get started on my message to Cloudskimmer. We've got this, Oranna. It's going to be okay. Get some sleep, and some good food in you.”
Oranna nods distractedly, and starts for the stairs and then back to Elo, her right hand going to her left arm to squeeze it, before she sniffles and bites her lip. "Elo?"
“Yeah?” Elohad smiles affectionately at her.
“Can I ha' a hug?” Her voice creaks a little, but she holds steady. Her eyes look a little too wide, but there's still that same slight empty calm in them.
“Of course!” He looks almost offended she'd have to ask! Elohad hugs her.
Oranna holds onto Elo a little too tight, and a little too long, but when she's ready, she lets go.
Elo wraps her up in a warm bear hug, but when she's ready he lets her go.