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| Details |
| Author: | Alli |
| Summary: | Celaven is approached by Velrin's protective friend Evanlyn, and they exchange stories over a game of question-for-question. |
| Rating: | M for Mature 17+ |
Celaven stands at the end of a small dock, fishing pole in hand. By his side is a collection of random driftwood and tattered cloth, no evidence of any success.
Evanlyn walks up to the dock, one hand raised and flicks that wrist. A shimmer of faint purple hued light fills the air around the two of them and all the sounds of nature are suddenly oddly muffled.
Celaven looks up from the water at the sudden change, and turns around to see the source.
Evanlyn pulls her mask down, her eyes steely. "You and I need to talk."
[Celaven]: Oh, hello Evanlyn. *He sets the fishing pole down to the side.* Do we?
[Evanlyn]: We do.
[Celaven]: About Velrin, I gather. *Celaven sighs.* I understand you feel protective of your friend, but I'm not sure what I can say if you did not believe her account of me…
[Evanlyn]: Your own account will suffice.
[Celaven]: This is about what you said, as I was leaving last time? That I did not care for her enough to stop things from going wrong.
[Evanlyn]: Smart man.
Celaven moves to sit. "I think this may not be a short conversation then, if we could sit."
Evanlyn waits for him to be seated then steps over to the dock's support and perches on the edge.
Celaven turns around to face her.
[Celaven]: I think it was Outland, when things began to get worse. It was not my idea for her to go there. It was… *Celaven hesitates* …one of the groups to which she is loyal. I offered to follow her, because I knew it would be difficult for her to be there.
[Celaven]: So, yes, I knew all was not well. But I thought she was managing it. I… tried to give her what she seemed to want. Distractions, food, flowers, comfort, encouraged her to make friends… *Celaven shakes his head*
[Celaven]: I don't think any of it mattered, in the end.
Evanlyn 's eyes narrow ever so slightly. "I will not settle for vague offerings, Mister Evensong. This-" she gestures to the arcane shimmer in the air "-is a privacy spell. Only I can hear or understand you, or vice versa, so speak freely."
[Celaven]: What exactly are you asking me, then?
[Evanlyn]: Why did you let it get so far?
[Evanlyn]: Or, rather, what reason could you have for standing by and letting her spiral that far?
[Celaven]: What should I have done? *Celaven spreads his hands* I did not stand by. I was there. I was trying to coax her out of her room, trying to get her to eat. I tried to get her to see that they were asking too much of her.
[Celaven]: You're her friend, you know what she's like. How can she say no, if she's needed to defend Azeroth? Even if it would kill her little by little.
[Evanlyn]: I do know what she's like. I have seen her in this place too many times over the years, which is why I am at a loss for how someone so intimate with her let her get to that place. When coaxing fails, you drag her out of her room. You stand in her way.
[Evanlyn]: Or you go with her on these missions so she isn't carrying the weight alone.
[Evanlyn]: You stand up for her, or you fight her, but for the love of the Light you sure as hell don't let her fall into that pit alone.
[Celaven]: I did go with her. I could not accompany her every day, because she was on an elite mission team and I was not. And she is not a child. I trusted her to tell me what she needed. And she…
Celaven looks down at his hands for a moment, and says, "Well, she told me it was not me. What she needed. That I couldn't help her, because she had never truly cared for me at all."
[Evanlyn]: Did you care for her?
[Celaven]: Yes, *Celaven's hands tighten for a moment on his robe.* Very deeply. Which is why I would not leave her alone, why I refused to leave, on that last day.
Celaven looks back up at Evanlyn, sadness in his eyes. "Because whatever I felt… whatever she did not feel… was not important anymore. Even if my love meant nothing, I could still help in some way."
Evanlyn 's violet eyes seem to shift in color, the purple becoming almost silver. "You did more to help her that once than you managed to before, which is what I still fail to understand."
[Celaven]: Perhaps it was only that I tried any number of things that did not work. And then finally I found something that did.
[Evanlyn]: Having an honest conversation with her? Or was there more to it, that you finally tried?
[Celaven]: I believed that all of our conversations were honest. *Celaven sighs, leaning on one hand on the dock.*
[Celaven]: Maybe… the last time we spoke, I told her I would stop trying to give her what she wanted, since obviously it wasn't enough. Maybe that made the difference.
[Evanlyn]: Did you ever ask her what she wanted in the first place?
[Evanlyn]: Or did you just assume, because she's a beautiful smitten woman that flowers and treats would be enough?
[Celaven]: Yes, of course, *Celaven tilts his head, looking at her in surprise* Has she said I did not?
[Evanlyn]: She has told me precious little about you, Celaven. It is why I am here.
[Evanlyn]: But if it will make you feel better, I am prepared to offer a trade in that area.
[Evanlyn]: A question for a question.
[Celaven]: Oh? *Celaven's ears perk up* I'll agree to that.
Celaven gestures to Evanlyn. "Your turn first?"
Evanlyn quirks an eyebrow at the shift. "Good, because I am not in the mood to offer a choice in the matter." She thinks for a moment. "Why were you with her in the first place?"
[Celaven]: Why were we a couple at all? *Celaven considers* When I met her, she seemed troubled. It was a difficult day for me, as well, so I tried to brighten it for her. Then… we met a few times after that, until the day she…
[Celaven]: Well, she indicated rather unequivocally that she was interested, and I realized I was as well.
[Evanlyn]: Asked you if you wanted to mate?
[Celaven]: We did not, that day. *Celaven says, forestalling that thought.* We were here, actually, in Loch Modan. Walking around the lake and sharing stories. We… kissed.
[Celaven]: Does that answer your question?
[Celaven]: …and that was not my turn.
Evanlyn 's silver eyes gleam a little brighter. "Scared by all the knives, were you?" She waves that away and gives him a nod. "Well enough. Shoot."
[Celaven]: Why were you the one, specifically, she turned to for help?
[Evanlyn]: I have not asked her that, but if I am to guess… It is because I know her. We have been friends for a very long time, and when things go awry for one or the other, we're there for each other.
[Celaven]: It's good to have a friend like that. *There's something a little sad in Celaven's smile*
[Evanlyn]: It is good, but it is rare… as rare as she is.
[Celaven]: Back to you, then.
[Evanlyn]: Do you still love her?
Celaven pauses for a long moment before answering that one, considering his words. "Yes. I think… I need a little time, for it to be fully the right kind of love. But yes."
Evanlyn 's fingers and around her eyes begin to coat in frost "What do you mean the 'right kind of love'?"
[Celaven]: A friend. *Celaven says simply.* Someone who will stand up to her, drag her out of her room.
[Evanlyn]: …Good.
[Celaven]: My turn then? *Celaven considers.* Who was he? The friend that is beyond reach.
Evanlyn freezes, a burst of cold washing off of her and chilling the air for a second, apparently taken off guard by the change of topic. She stares at him for a second, then sits up straighter and takes a deep breath, answering on the exhale with disciplined calm. "His name is Therras."
[Evanlyn]: It is not just his name you want to know, is it…
Celaven nods. "I could tell he was important to both of you."
Celaven waits patiently.
[Evanlyn]: He was. He is. He left, years ago, under terrible circumstances in our lives. He is not just a friend, and to this day I love him still… *she glances over her shoulder, toward the dam for a moment then back at him* I had to give up hope of ever seeing him again.
[Celaven]: Why? .. Or perhaps it is your turn again, first.
Evanlyn closes her eyes for a second. "The why is a whole question in itself…." She is silent for a moment, then opens her eyes "What would you do, if you were faced with Scourge and could save yourself or die so that another could escape?"
[Celaven]: Is that your question? I would die.
[Evanlyn]: Yes, it was.
[Celaven]: Is that related to why he is out of reach?
[Evanlyn]: Is that your question?
Celaven twitches one ear curiously. "Yes, it is."
[Evanlyn]: No, it was not related to Therras.
[Evanlyn]: My turn. What drives you to do what you do?
Celaven frowns. "What I do. Do you mean as a priest? Healing?"
[Evanlyn]: Yes.
[Celaven]: It is something I can do, when the greater problems of the world are beyond my reach. To try to make things better, even if only a little, for one person at a time.
[Celaven]: Though it seems lately there are so many things I can't heal.
Evanlyn raises an eyebrow.
[Celaven]: Why did you ask me about sacrificing myself to the Scourge, to save another?
[Evanlyn]: I wanted to know what sort of person you are, compare you, as it were, to ones who came before you.
[Evanlyn]: Personally, I doubted you would have the courage.
Celaven raises one eyebrow at that. "I try to be gentle, but gentle does not mean afraid."
[Evanlyn]: Yet you are not on one such elite squad, as Velrin was.
[Celaven]: I am not, no. But I help where I can, and I have spent considerable time in the Plaguelands.
[Celaven]: Your turn, then?
[Evanlyn]: What do you do in the Plaguelands?
[Celaven]: I help in healing, at the Argent Crusade camps. *Celaven considers* I have gone out to recover family heirlooms, before, and to fight. I am not by nature a fighter, but the Scourge does not seem to care.
Transition to google doc and past-tense. This continues directly from the in-game log above.
Evanlyn’s lips twitched for a second into a wry little smile “No, they do not.” The smile vanished as quickly as it had come. “Your turn.”
“Would you sacrifice yourself to the Scourge, to save another?” Celaven asked, looking up at Evanlyn. “And would it depend on who that person was?”
As a priest, he would probably sense the increase in the strength of the Light’s aura around the mage as she answered “Yes, to both” immediately. “If you are feeling inclined to judge me for that, know that I would wish the Scourge upon no one, even my most hated foes. But there are worse ends and it is not my life I have to consider, but the daughter entrusted to me. There are many in this world I would not be willing to abandon her for.”
Celaven looked at her curiously, noting the aura of Light, but didn’t comment. “I would not think to judge someone for placing limitations on self-sacrifice. This brings up more questions, but I think it is your turn.”
“Your question was two,” she pointed out, the Light remaining in its current strength, wrapped around her like a cloak without seeming to emanate from her or even really touch her directly. “But in fairness, I did ask you plenty before. So here is mine - what do you know of Marus Rasmussen?”
Celaven looks genuinely puzzled at this one. “Nothing at all. I don’t believe I’ve heard the name before. Can I ask why?”
Evanlyn gave a sort of half-shrug "If you would like it to count for your question."
Celaven chuckled. “Then let’s make that the question… Why should I know Marus Rasmussen?”
"I wanted to see what you know of Velrin's past, and the role he played in it. As it seems she told you little of our history, I am looking for the edges of those holes." The Light would start to weaken, slowly fading out of her aura but doesn't vanish completely "Satisfied?"
Celaven smiled mildly, and raised one hand, palm up. “I don’t know… Is that your question?” Before Evanlyn could answer, he added, “That was a joke, I would not be so strict. You could have asked what I knew of Velrin’s past, though I am realizing now it is much less than I thought. Though I suspect she knew as little of mine. In any case… your turn.”
"I could have, but it wouldn't serve my purpose as well," she answered mildly. "You said you wouldn't judge someone for placing limitations on self-sacrifice. What would you judge someone for?"
Celaven thinks that one through before answering, but finally says,“I… try to understand rather than to judge. If you are asking for my limits, I think that would be unmitigated malice or a destructive violation of the natural order. Those things, in a person, I do not think I could understand. Does that answer your question sufficiently?”
Evanlyn inclines her head, not quite a nod. "Sufficiently enough."
“Then my question,” Celaven sits back. “I seem to only be getting more, as our conversation continues. I had thought you were a mage, but… are you also a priestess?”
"What?" She stared at him, confused for a second
“I was getting a sense of… Light around you,” Celaven moved his hands to describe the shape of a cloak. “I assumed you were aware?”
The confusion cleared and Evanlyn sighed, a short exhale that ended in a scoff as she gave her head a quick shake. "No, I am no priestess. By any stretch. The Light is … a long story, and it has been quite some time since I have been around a living being who would sense it"
“Every question leads to two more,” Celaven says, with a soft chuckle. “I suppose that answers mine, though.” He gestures for her to proceed with hers.
Evanlyn tilts her head, studying him. The silver tint in her eyes grows more pronounced. "What is the worst thing you have ever done?"
"That's a difficult thing to ask someone," Celaven turns away, looking over the lake. "To my mind, the worst was while I was working with a mercenary company in Kalimdor. There was a dispute, and a client refused to pay their agreed-upon fee. I was ordered to use… certain abilities… to persuade them. I did not let it get very far before I left, and I am now very clear that these abilities are not on offer for future employers."
"I never said they would be easy questions," Evanlyn pointed out. "I am familiar with shadow magics, Void and manipulation of the mind, if that is what you are skirting."
Celaven nods his head slightly in confirmation, and says, “What about you, then? The worst thing you have ever done?”
She seemed to have expected the question, answering calmly "The worst. I have done much in my life I am not proud of, poor choices and mistakes that compiled into one twisted mess. But the worst, is what I did to Therras's 'parents', after he left. I found them, and tortured them by magic - both frost and Void. I had reasons, and I do not regret what I did, but it is the worst thing I have done to another person, destroying their minds and in the end making them believe their own lies."
Celaven looks at her for a long moment, then nods, his expression betraying neither judgment or acceptance. “I could ask more, but I believe it’s your turn.”
"What brought you here, to the Eastern Kingdoms?"
"Originally? That's an easy one," Celaven relaxes, his friendly smile returning. "My sister joined a mercenary company based in Ironforge - a multicultural group led by a paladin of good reputation. She and I hadn't spoken in many years - my family is not very close-knit - and I joined up for the opportunity to work alongside her. I keep a place in Loch Modan, because Ironforge is just so… stone."
He hesitates then, and his smile falters a little as he adds, "Unless you were asking why I am here now. For that… In part because I felt my work in Outland was done, and in part to forestall a possible conflict with the Ebon Blade."
Evanlyn's eyebrows lift and she looks genuinely amused. "A priest, who sees little combat, is going to stop a legion of Death Knights?"
“Not the entire Ebon Blade,” Celaven is surprised into a brief chuckle. “Just one of them. Or two, I suppose, in the end. There’s a woman I knew who ended up in their number - Velrin knows of her. I was warned that she was likely to ‘come after me’, so I decided to resolve the situation by going to see what she wanted.”
“Ah.” She sits back, leaning her weight on her arms, and waits for him to ask his next question.
“There are so many…” Celaven thinks for a moment, and says, “For this turn, then, who is Marus Rasmussen?”
The look of amusement vanishes immediately at the name. The aura of the Light’s presence grows more pronounced again as she hesitates for a moment to speak, and when she does her voice is heavier, not emotional in itself but clearly denoting great emotion behind the subject. “Who he was to Velrin, you shall have to ask her. Who he was to me… and who he was as a person… Our history was complicated, but Marus was the closest thing I had to a brother in this life. He was a warrior, raised to be a paladin but never chosen by the Light for that task. I feared him, hated him, resented him… and I loved him, trusted him, mourned him… There is little we had in common or saw eye-to-eye, but we both cared for Velrin.”
Evanlyn pauses, sorting through the thoughts and the memories. Her eyes close, hiding the unnatural silver, and her head bows. When she speaks again, her voice is much quieter. “In the end, we were closer than anyone else could be. He was my shield from the Void, the safeguard for … everyone.”
She opens her eyes and looks at him again, the silver steely and ice on her lashes. “He fell, to the Scourge, so that others would live.”
Celaven bows his head for a long, silent moment in recognition of her grief, and then says, “I am sorry for your loss. I take it he is at least one reason for your asking whether I would die to the Scourge for others.” He sits back and looks up at Evanlyn, waiting for the next question.
"Smart man." She looks away from him, out at the waters of the Loch for a moment before turning back to him to ask her question "Why are you still so affectionate with Velrin?"
“I still care for her,” Celaven looks curiously at Evanlyn. “I have noticed that your people are less often physically affectionate with one another. Or maybe you attach more unspoken meaning to touch. I am not ‘trying anything’ with her, if that’s what you’re inferring. If someone finds it comforting to be held, why not hold them? That was rhetorical, by the way, not my question.”
"But where do you draw the line?" She quirks an eyebrow, "Or are your people incapable of distinguishing intimacy from friendship?"
"Friendship is intimate," Celaven says, puzzled. "I think you are equating intimacy with romance, which is another thing entirely, though it also involves a form of intimacy."
Evanlyn rolls her eyes. “What is the difference then, for you, if kisses and cuddles and sharing a bed with your former lover is just normal friendship?”
"Intent?" Celaven raises an eyebrow. "The nature of the relationship? A parent might kiss and cuddle a child and yet keep it clear that their love is parental in nature. Neither Vel nor I are children, I just propose that as a cross-cultural example. At least I think it is - humans are affectionate with their children, aren't they? And by the way, that was three questions."
An edge of sarcasm laces Evanlyn’s voice “well, since you seem crystal clear on that answer…” She makes a ‘go ahead’ gesture with one hand. “Ask away”
Celaven leans back on his hands, sorting through the many questions. "What does your Light have to do with Marus?"
"I warned you, that is a long story. The short version will probably only lead to more questions" She considers for a moment, letting her eyes return to their natural violet, the Light's presence wrapping itself around her again, almost visible to the naked eye "If you're sure you want to go there…" She looks at him, waiting for an indication of yes or no
Celaven nods. “I stand by my question.” He considers his seated position, and adds, “Metaphorically.”
A half-laugh escapes her at that. "If you say so. It started with the Void, and how I came into its clutches, in no small part due to Marus and his actions. For times sake, suffice to say that I knowingly and willfully sealed a pact with an Old God. My mind and will have been tested ever since. It was shortly after that, Marus died."
Evanlyn pauses, thinking for a moment, her eyes focused not on Celaven but on some point beyond him, as though looking into the past. "He and I were not exactly… friends, at that time, but he meant a great deal to me and those I most cared for, nonetheless. And in short order, every reason that I had to hold onto my soul and my sanity were stripped away.
"So I gave in, for a time. Succumbed to the Void. What I did to Therras's 'parents' happened then… I spent nearly a year clawing myself out of that pit however I could, and around the time I began to regain my life and a foothold in reality, I found Marus' tomb - which had been created and protected by the magic of a blue dragon and which I visited often - desecrated and empty. But when I tracked his body to Outland, expecting the worst, I found him alive. What I thought to be a trick at first, but when I touched his mind the Void and its incessant whispers recoiled. He still was no paladin, but for some reason A'dal, the naaru, had used its power to resurrect him."
She falls silent again, for a moment, before she continues "It was some time after that, the Void swallowed me whole. Marus and Velrin were among those my mother called upon to go in after me and pull me out. Which they did, obviously," She gestures to herself, sitting here "It took months for my mind to recover, before I started having nightmares about Velrin. I was convinced she was in danger and my mother was convinced it was another ploy of the Void, so in compromise Marus and I were bound together, our minds linked, a connection that was meant to be permanent. The Light's touch on his mind became my shield from the dark. When he …" she pauses again, taking a deep breath "when he died, I expected that protection to leave but it has not yet."
Celaven sits quietly, taking in all this information. He sits for a moment in silent respect, again, for the departed Marus. Then he says, “It seems that the Light grows stronger when you think of him. Perhaps it is that part of him that you carry in your memory, still protecting your heart and mind.”
Evanlyn just looks at him in silence. Eventually, coldly, she says, "You have no idea what I carry in my memory, Celaven Evensong."
“I know what I see, and I know what you’ve told me,” Celaven says calmly. “If I draw faulty conclusions from that, it is only because I am fallible. It is your turn now, should you have another question.”
Evanlyn quirks an eyebrow and just watches him. She seems to be waiting for something.
"Unless I still have two to make up," Celaven says cautiously, waiting for a moment to see if she'll stop him before he continues. "Why is your friend's daughter in your care?"
Evanlyn waits with the same expectant expression until he gets to the question. "Honestly, I do not know the reasons. I was named her godmother but have not spoken with her parents since before I entered the Void. After Marus died, I received a letter from her mother, begging me to seek out her then-caregiver and raise her as my own."
Celaven tilts head curiously. "Who was her mother?"
"Dandrenah. Dany." Evanlyn gives a tiny shrug. "If you didn't know of Marus, I wouldn't expect you to have known of her."
"No, I do not," Celaven shrugs. "Now I think it is your turn."
“What does it matter to you, about any of this?” She asks, not coldly, just curious.
"I care about Velrin, and by extension I would like to care about the people and events that made her who she is," Celaven looks up at her with ordinary Kaldorei silver eyes. "I thought she would talk more about the past eventually, but then… maybe if I had understood her better I would have been more of a help."
The mage tilts her head, giving him a deadpan look. “You could have asked her yourself, even if she never brought up the subject.”
“I could have,” Celaven nods. “But… I hardly knew where to start, and she was just so… I don’t want to say fragile, that is not the right word. But always trying so hard to hold it together, and a hair from letting things fall apart. And I know it upset her, talking about the past.”
"It is no less painful for me, I assure you. And there are things you will have to ask her for yourself," Evanlyn says, her voice suddenly stern "Her secrets are not mine to tell."
“I wouldn’t expect you to,” Celaven says, bowing his head slightly in acceptance. “But you have shared many secrets of your own with me, and for that I thank you. I hope I was able to give you something of value in return.”
"That would depend on what one considers valuable."
“So it would,” Celaven smiles, letting that one sit unquestioned.
Evanlyn slips off her perch, flicking her fingers to dismiss the spell. The normal sounds of nature return, the purple tint dissipates leaving the afternoon light normal. "Speak of those things to anyone but Velrin or bandy them about, and I will trap you in one of those spells permanently"
“I will keep your secrets,” Celaven says, rising and reaching for the neglected fishing pole. “And I would have, even without threats.”
"A fair warning is hardly a threat." Evanlyn steps off the dock, the surface of the Loch freezing solid beneath her bare feet. She walks away again without another word, heading in the general direction of the distant dam, each step creating a stepping stone of ice that quickly broke and melted behind her.