(2022-10-26) Bruuk's Brothers: The Most Embarrassing Thing

Details

Author:	inkie
Summary:	Ben and Sil are joined by Granny, Sandy, and Alynnra Mondragon. Ben keeps trying to change the subject, and invariably regrets it.
Rating:	T for Teen

Arc: The Bros of Bruuk's Corner

Sil was totally hiding in the shadows and then poof! He is sitting at the table.

[Sil]: Hi, Ben!

Ben jumps and drops his book on the floor. He glares. "Damn, Sil. I thought you quit that."

Ben leans over to pick his book up off the floor. He is grinning when he sits up again.

[Sil]: Ahhh…. I meant to. Sometimes I forget to be loud. *Sil smiles apologetically.* What're you reading?

[Ben]: S' a nature thing. Natural history?

Ben turns the book to consider the spine, and then shows it to Sil.

[Sil]: History of nature? Like, rocks and trees?

[Ben]: Animals an' plants. Trees included. Kalimdor, though. Like, the Barrens an' all. Giraffes an' zhevras.

[Ben]: I was thinkin' maybe to draw some but been a while since I been over there and seen 'em.

[Sil]: Oh, that'd be fun. There's loads over in the Barrens in Kalimdor.

[Sil]: I been sketchin' some of the animals in Outland. Not like naturalist style, more, um… just sketches.

Ben nods, brightening. "I can see 'em sometime?"

Granny can be heard approaching, largely by yelling "One side!" and "Look out!". She makes it to the top of the stairs, stowing her broomstick away.

Granny surveys the tables, then trundles over to a chair.

Ben glances warily at the stairs, and then sits up and looks intensely polite — like, painfully polite — when he sees Granny. "Ma'am. Evenin'."

Sil looks up at Ben and nods, he'll show the sketches next time.

[Granny]: Hallo there. I know you. You didn't want a muffin.

[Sil]: Hey there, miss.

Sandy watches Granny go up the stairs, tiptoeing on the steps because he obeys the 'look out'. He's looking out at the stairs themselves. He eventually walks up the stairs. "Hi, everyone!"

Sandy sits down at the table.

[Ben]: I, uh, did not want a– oh. Hey, Sanders.

[Sil]: Hi, Sandy!

Ben looks between Granny and Sandy. Hm.

[Ben]: Let's get some– y'all want beers? Some drinks.

Ben hails Edris.

[Sandy]: Sure! I'll take some orange juice!

[Sil]: Beers and orange juice, sounds great!

Granny tries to see Sandy over the mugs on the table. When this fails, she tsks her annoyance and stands on the chair.

[Granny]: Hah! There y'are.

Granny looks Sandy over, nods once, then sits back down.

Sandy waves at Granny. "Hi! I'm Sandy! Nice to meet you!" He also stands on his chair.

[Granny]: Energetic sort.

[Ben]: Uh, beers an' an orange juice, Miz Barleybeard. An' pretzels, if you don't mind.

[Granny]: An' tea!

Edris looks extremely dubious. She nods and vanishes.

Sandy doesn't look like he's going to be sitting back any time soon.

Granny slings her pack around to the front. "I think I've got muffins if you want muffins…"

Alynnra strolls up the stairs, humming something off-tune.

[Sil]: Oh, muffins, I love muffins!

Granny pushes a muffin at Sil.

Alynnra blinks at Sandy standing on his chair.

[Sandy]: I knew I heard the word muffin before! Yes, please!

Granny smiles and tosses a muffin to Sandy. "There's a good lad."

[Sandy]: Thank you so much! *He starts devouring the muffin as if he'd been starving. He eats, still up on his chair.*

Alynnra glances around, then finds her own chair to stand on. It's stand-on-a-chair night.

Sil laughs. "Miss, you can have my chair?" He rises, gesturing to Alynnra.

Ben looks between Granny and Sandy again. This seems like it might be a doo– oh, and there's Alynnra. Definitely a doozy. He should have ordered more beer.

[Alynnra]: Oh, um. Okay. But why are we standing on them? Is there an earthquake?

Granny cackles.

Ben shakes his head politely at Alynnra. "That's — just Sanders for you."

[Ben]: Sanders, you can sit down, yeah?

[Sandy]: But then if I do the nice gnome lady can't see me! *He makes puppy eyes at Ben.*

[Ben]: No one's got to stand on the chairs. Sanders, she has seen you, you can sit now. Hey, look.

[Granny]: Polite! Manners! No one has manners!

Ben leans forward and moves the beer mugs out of the way.

[Ben]: See? Now she can see you even sittin'.

Granny smiles at Alynnra. "Muffin, dearie?"

Alynnra grins. "I would love a muffin!" She sits down, finally.

Sandy turns to Alynnra and watches her sit down. "Okay, thanks Ben!" He says, as he sits down.

[Sil]: There's a certain sort of bar night that involves chair-standing, but I don't think we got the right music for that.

[Alynnra]: Is there? Is it a kind of game?

Granny continues to hand out muffins, with a total lack of reaching into her bag to get them out. There are just muffins there. That she hands out.

Alynnra eagerly eats the muffin.

Edris reappears. She sets an orange juice by Sandy and hands a cup of tea to Ben, who passes it to Granny. Edris slides a couple of beers and a bowl of pretzels onto the table as well.

[Alynnra]: Hey, did you all know Ben's aunt runs a famous clinic?

[Sandy]: Yeah, I went there before!

Sil grabs a beer and takes a gulp. Then he turns to Alynnra. "And yeah, sort of like a game. You sing and dance on the chairs. Niris does? It's famous?"

Sandy smiles at Alynnra. "Hello, by the way! I'm Sandy, nice to meet you! … We haven't met before, right?"

Alynnra peers at Sandy. "Hmm…you seem…familiar, but…no, I don't think so!"

Granny opens her fist over her cup of tea and drops 8 cubes of sugar in there.

Sandy watches Granny make her tea. This is the first time in his life he's wanted tea.

Ben leans over to catch Edris's attention before she can escape.

[Ben]: Hey, uh. We might need more beers than this, ma'am. Also, could you– I ain't like commentin' or anything, you go on and run the place how you do, Miss Barleybeard, but can you maybe clear the old mugs off the table? This lady here is havin' trouble seein' over ‘em.

Edris stares flatly at Ben. She harrumphs and heads down the stairs for more beer. She does not clear the table.

[Ben]: … okay, sorry.

[Granny]: Shoulda run her over with my broom.

[Granny]: I'll get 'er on the way out.

Granny cackles some more.

Sandy blinks.

[Sil]: Edris? She's a good sort, don't broom her.

[Granny]: Say "please".

Granny eyes Sil.

[Sil]: Please don't broom her?

Granny nods, satisfied. "All right, then. I won't."

[Ben]: Uh. Anyhow. Sorry, Miss Alynnra. You was sayin'… oh, you saw Aunt Nir?

[Alynnra]: But yeah, the clinic is famous. It has to be. I saw Lord Morningdew there, and he's from Lordaeron.

Ben sits up a little. He narrows his eyes at Alynnra. "You saw him? There?"

[Alynnra]: Yeah, he was getting… oh, gosh, I don't remember, I was so flustered.

Sil double-takes at Alynnra.

Granny sips her tea-coated sugar.

Edris returns with more beer. She sets these down hard enough to slosh them, and then departs again. She still does not clear the table.

Granny eyes Edris darkly. She's muttering into her teacup.

Sandy dips what's left of his muffin in his orange juice. He leans towards Sil. "Do I know Lord Morningdew?"

Ben clears his throat. "Beer, Miss Alynnra? Or pretzels?"

[Alynnra]: Oh, no, I don't drink. Unless it's milk!

Sil takes a long drink of his beer.

[Ben]: … oh, right.

[Alynnra]: It's good for your bones I hear.

[Sil]: Probably so, you won't get osteo… um. Boneweakness.

[Sil]: I don't actually know if that's a thing, but that's what I used to get told.

[Ben]: Is it? Huh. My ma always said it'd make you tall.

[Sandy]: What about water? You should drink a little bit of water, from time to time! It's good for your… uh… everything!

[Ben]: Yes. Water is good too, Sanders.

[Ben]: Beer has got minerals, though.

[Ben]: Like dirt. But it's better for you than dirt.

Sil nods sagely. "Good minerals."

[Alynnra]: Good for everything? Then… water plus milk would equal… a super-drink!

[Ben]: I mean I ain't an alchemist but I dunno if that's how it works, Alynnra.

[Sandy]: … there are rocks in beer?

Alynnra pouts a little. "I used to be an alchemist…"

Granny sets her teacup down and peers at Ben, then Sandy, then Alynnra.

[Granny]: Yer all a little touched, ain'tcha?

[Sil]: Touched?

Sandy nods at Granny, a confused look on his face. "Thank you… ?"

Granny gives Sandy a smile. "You're welcome, son."

[Alynnra]: Oh! That's a compliment, then. Thank you!

Sandy grins confidently, now. That was a compliment!

Sil smiles. Nice old lady.

Ben eyes Granny askance, and then the rest of them.

Granny leans over but it's still not enough to quite pat Alynnra's hand. She pats the table near-ish Alynnra. "There there, dear."

Alynnra eyes the place she patted intently.

Ben sips his beer in diplomatic silence.

Granny sips her tea, contented.

Sil whispers to Sandy, "Lord Morningdew's dead. He'd be one of them Ebon ones."

Ben clears his throat. "Used to be a alchemist, Alynnra? What happened, then?"

Sandy blinks. "And he went to the clinic for what? Do the dead get sick?!"

Ben shoots Sil a sharp look, and then a meaningful glance at Sandy.

Sil shrugs helplessly at Sandy.

[Granny]: If they're dead, they can't get much sicker.

Sandy nods at Granny.

Alynnra glances at Ben. "I forgot how! I started learning how to infuse dust into equipment instead. Oh, and sewing. And then, before I knew it, I couldn't make potions anymore."

[Ben]: Oh. Well. I guess, uh, brain only holds so much knowin' before it fills up, right? *He smiles crookedly.*

[Alynnra]: I guess so! Oh, also…I was asking around about something, and was told here was a good place to ask.

[Sil]: Sounds about right, we only got so much brain. What'd you want to ask?

[Ben]: Yeah?

[Sandy]: I will do my best to answer your question!

Alynnra lays out a worn Cobalt Company tabard on the table. "Do you know where this is from?"

[Sandy]: I know! That's a Cobalt Company tabard!

[Ben]: … That is one of ours, miss. Our tabards, I mean.

[Sil]: Oh! That's our… wait. Where'd you find that?

Granny looks at it. Then at Sil. Then at Sandy. Then at Alynnra.

To clarify for the record, various people around the table are in fact wearing the tabard.

Alynnra is, in fact, the oblivious sort.

Granny sips her tea.

Ben nods at Sil's question, still looking at Alynnra.

[Alynnra]: Oh, I didn't find it. My sister sent it to me.

[Ben]: Your–

Ben coughs. He sets his beer down.

[Ben]: Your sister did? Huh. You hear from her much?

[Alynnra]: She finally wrote me! I was so happy. I've only heard from her recently, but we've been writing back and forth.

[Sil]: What's your sister's name? *Sil looks at Alynnra warily.*

[Alynnra]: My sister's named Kaela. Kaela Mondragon.

Ben leans forward. "F' you want to give me the tabard, I reckon can get it back to who it belongs."

[Sil]: Mondragon. *Sil says thoughtfully*

Ben cannot reach Sil to kick him significantly under the table. He stares hard at him instead. A mental under-the-table kick. It might not reach, either.

[Alynnra]: Yeah? Well… that'd be great! It's Ralaea's right? Ralaea Westwind. That's what the letter says. That she left this somewhere.

[Ben]: Yes'm, that is right. Reckon it must be Rae's. She'd've… mislaid it recently. You got sent anything else, or just this?

Sandy repeats Sil's "Mondragon…" just to pretend he knows what's happening. He doesn't. He's met Alysson now, but he probably doesn't know his last name.

Granny tears off a bit of muffin to dunk it in her tea. What's that? She wasn't holding a muffin a minute ago? Take it up with Granny, I just write for her.

Sil finishes off his own muffin, and looks innocently back at Ben. Sil doesn't know the half of it, really.

[Sandy]: Oh! How is Rae? I haven't seen her in so long! I'm still growing the Felweed she gave me!

[Alynnra]: Just that, but, she said I have to help her with something. Do you maybe… know anything about that? She wasn't specific.

Granny drops some muffin in her tea. She says several words that should not be said by anyone of any age, let alone a li'l old gnome lady.

Ben knits his brows. "She said that? Huh. well." He glances sidelong at Granny, distracted and faintly impressed.

Alynnra looks at Granny in surprise.

Granny fishes in her tea mug with a spoon, eventually slurping up muffin pieces.

Sandy was about to ask about Rae, but then just stares at Granny. In silence.

Granny looks around, spoon still at her mouth.

[Granny]: Well stop starin', ya bedknobs!

Sandy stares at his feet. "Sorry!"

[Alynnra]: Yeah, I've gotta help… Oh, she goes by Rae? I have to help her with something. *She politely looks away from Granny.*

[Ben]: Um. *Ben clears his throat and looks back at Alynnra.* Rae is… she been a little… sick for a bit? I dunno if you might know anythin' about that.

[Alynnra]: Well, I am a healer! But… your aunt does have that famous clinic, so I'm not sure why she said it had to be me specifically…

[Sandy]: She's sick?! *He speaks, still staring at his feet.* She's all right, though, right? She just has a cold, or something?

[Sil]: She's sick? She didn't say, just that she was gettin' stalked.

[Sandy]: She's getting stalked?!

Ben looks like he wants to put his head down on the table. He valiantly resists.

[Alynnra]: I, uh… could help with the stalking, too? I'm a paladin…

[Ben]: Did you meet Estel when you was at my aunt's clinic?

[Alynnra]: I did meet Estel, yeah!

[Sil]: Uh, I think, um. Lord Morningdew is real protective. Ben and I were gonna talk to him about that once. *For some reason Sil's expression looks really sad for a moment*

Ben nods gravely. "Estel knows some sh–stuff about Rae's… sickness. She might got an idea how you could help? F' you talk to her about it?"

[Alynnra]: Sh-she's being stalked….by a Lord? *Her cheeks go pink.* R-really?

Granny finally hears a name more than once this conversation. "Isn't that the dead guy?"

[Alynnra]: Hmm? Dead…guy?

Ben drinks the remainder of his beer really, really fast and then pushes the empty mug away and reaches for a fresh one.

Alynnra thinks back. Was there a dead guy mentioned?

[Ben]: Hey, Granny, ma'am. I can please have a muffin?

[Sandy]: Oh, me too!

Granny smiles at Ben. "Since you said please."

Granny hands Ben a muffin. Nothing is stuck in it. Except some blueberries.

Ben nods respectfully and accepts the muffin. "Thank you, ma'am."

[Sil]: I bet you could talk to Estel, yeah! She's smart. She could sort it out.

[Alynnra]: Estel, huh? Sure! If she knows something, it'd sure help. And maybe if I could see Rae? That might help, too.

[Ben]: Rae is… pretty busy right now, herself. But I will look out, an' let you know, yeah?

[Granny]: I thought you said she was sick. She busy being sick?

[Ben]: Definitely the one you should talk to is Estel, I would reckon.

[Ben]: This's a real nice muffin, ma'am.

Ben addresses Granny, and eats half the muffin in one bite since he realizes he has failed to taste it before complimenting.

Granny looks at Ben.

Alynnra glances between Granny and Ben. "Uh… yeah. Estel. Okay."

Granny is now staring at Ben because you can only look so long before it becomes staring.

[Granny]: Why thank you, son.

Ben nods at Granny again without speaking, because his mouth is full.

[Sandy]: So… if I understood well, Rae's being stalked by something, and a dead guy is protecting her but she's getting sick because dead people are bad for your health. Is that right?

Ben shakes his head vigorously at Sandy.

[Granny]: See? The dead guy, that's what I said.

[Sil]: Um. That was a lot of things.

[Alynnra]: How does a dead guy protect anyone, though?

[Sil]: I don't know about her bein' sick.

Ben swallows and smiles at Alynnra. "Anyhow. Can I get the tabard? To give back? F' that's all right?"

[Alynnra]: Sure! *She passes the tabard over the table to Ben, trying not to get it in the food or drinks. It is a stretch and she stands on her toes.*

Ben rises to reach for it. He accepts it from Alynnra with a polite nod and the flash of a smile.

[Granny]: These days, some of 'em could do a good job of it. Probably not so inclined. They're all busy being grim and sad.

Sandy nods at Granny.

[Alynnra]: Now there are sad dead guys?

[Ben]: Can we… hey, f' you don't mind, can we change the subject? It is a sensitive one right now.

[Sandy]: There always have been! Have you ever met a gho–

[Granny]: You had to have seen 'em, girlie! The big–

[Alynnra]: Oh. Right. Because they're d– yeah. Sorry!

Granny looks at Ben, then hmphs a little but lets it slide.

[Sandy]: Okay, let's talk about something else!

[Ben]: 'Preciate y'all.

Alynnra eyes Ben almost appraisingly, but only for a moment.

Ben re-folds the tabard carefully and sets it aside.

Granny tends to her tea, sipping the last of it. She uses her spoon to scrape sugar (or possibly muffin crumbs) from the bottom, then eats the debris off her spoon.

[Ben]: I have just, uh. Lost my father-in-law recent? And Sil has lost a brother. So we do not… let's don't. About dead fellows.

Ben tries to look… grieving? He guesses? He hides his expression behind his beer.

[Sandy]: Oh… sorry.

[Alynnra]: Aww… I am so sorry to hear it.

[Sil]: Yeah, let's talk about somethin' happier. You all like babies? I got a new nephew.

[Ben]: How is your baby nephew, Sil? An' how's Patricia?

[Granny]: Human babies are too damn big. It's like a whole person that poops all the time.

Ben chokes a little on his beer at Granny's remark.

[Sandy]: Oh really? Why didn't you take the baby here? We'd love to meet him!

Sandy looks at Granny, then back at Sil. "… I mean, I would love to meet the baby."

[Alynnra]: Oh, goodness, I'm not sure a baby would like it here.

[Sil]: He's not all that big yet. And maybe not to a bar? But I bet I could bring friends to visit him soon!

Granny mutters darkly to Sandy, "You haven't seen one poop yet."

Alynnra can't help but giggle at the old gnome's comments.

[Sil]: I admit I have not seen him poop. I reckon moms like to keep that bit out of sight sometimes for visitors.

[Ben]: Give a baby some privacy, damn.

[Sandy]: I mean, I used to be a baby! I just don't remember that part of my life! But that means I've seen a baby pooping!

Granny smiles at Sandy. "Of course you have, dear. Eat your muffin."

Sandy eats his muffin.

Ben remembers his own muffin and stuffs the rest of it in his mouth. He washes it down with the rest of his beer and then makes a face. It's not the greatest combo.

Granny wasn't going to comment on it.

[Alynnra]: I'm the youngest in my family, so I haven't seen… that. But… oh. That means my sister has seen… me… *She covers her face with her hands.* That's so embarrassing!

[Sil]: I think it's normal, all babies poop, right? So nothin' to be ashamed of. Your parents saw your sister poop.

[Sandy]: Don't worry, Sil is right! I'm sure your sister has seen you do way more embarassing stuff than that! *He smiles reasurringly.*

Alynnra squeals into her hands, flailing her legs around in protest. "Noo! That's awful!"

Granny flaps a hand at Alynnra. It happens to be the hand with the spoon but when she's done flapping the spoon is gone, so only a little tea spatters around. "No one blames babies for it."

Ben kind of wants to return to the subject of dead guys after all. He was not aware the conversation was going to veer in this direction.

[Ben]: Sil, how is Patricia doin'?

Ben reaches for a third beer.

Granny points an imperious finger at Sandy. "What's the most embarassing thing someone caught you doing?"

[Granny]: Go!

[Sandy]: I, uh… I don't know!

[Granny]: FASTER!

Sil looks back at Ben. "Patricia's doing alright, I think. Still looks tired, but I reckon that's babies."

Sandy looks around, panicking a little. "Is turning into a demon embarassing? If yes, then, that!"

[Ben]: So you been back to see her, then? That's goin' okay?

Ben obstinately ignores the Granny-Sandy exchange.

Granny sits back, content. "See?" she says to Alynnra. "That's worse. Now buck up."

[Sil]: Yeah, she let me hold him. *Sil smiles* Cute little guy, big brown eyes.

Sandy blushes and shrinks down his chair. Oh no, he didn't know turning into a demon was embarassing until now!

Alynnra peers at Sandy through her hands. "You can turn into a demon? Aren't those…bad?"

[Sil]: Yep, usually.

Granny has done her part. She narrows her eyes at the distant Edris.

[Ben]: When you reckon you are gonna visit her again, Sil?

Sandy nods, perking up a little. "Yeah, but I'm trying to prove they can be good! And when I do turn into one, I'm a good one, so…"

Alynnra brightens. "Oh, okay. I'll be rooting for you, then!"

Sandy grins.

[Sil]: I reckon I'll go over in a few days. I don't want to go every day, cause you know. She's still a little twitchy. But I think it's goin' well? It's like getting a new little family I didn't expect.

Ben nods firmly. "Good. Great. S'great news."

Sandy looks at Sil and goes: "Awww, unexpected little families are the best!" He thinks about it. About his unexpected family members. "Almost every time!"

Sil shoots Sandy a sympathetic look.

[Granny]: Right! I'm off.

[Alynnra]: Have a good night!

Ben finishes his third beer with imprudent haste, and then pushes back from the table at the sound of the horn. He picks up his book and the tabard and gets to his feet.

[Sil]: Thanks for the muffin!

[Ben]: G'night, ma'am. G'night, all.

[Granny]: I worry about you all. You're all a little weird. Try hard to be safe.

[Sil]: Thanks for carin'!

[Ben]: We will try hard.

[Sandy]: We will, yeah! Thank you so much for the muffins, you're the best!

Granny walks up to Edris and almost but not quite pokes her. "And you mind yer manners, missypants, or I'll frog you inta next week."

[Ben]: Alynnra, do not forget to check in with Estel when you got time, yeah?

Alynnra smiles. "I'm off to write my sister, and let her know I'm going to do my best to handle her request."

[Alynnra]: I'll be sure to check in with Estel, too!

[Ben]: Sil, I will– uh, talk to you later. Give Patricia my b– wait, what? *Ben swivels back to Alynnra.* You know how to get in touch with your sister back?

[Sandy]: Yeah, if her sister sent her a letter there's usually an address to write back on those!

[Alynnra]: Yeah. I've been writing her.

[Sil]: Huh.

[Ben]: D'you — can you maybe drop her address off to me sometime? I would… be real curious to write her myself, maybe. On account of us… both bein' friends of Rae's.

[Alynnra]: Oh, sure. It's just to our house in Tirisfal.

[Sil]: Your house in Tirisfal. *Sil does not comment further.*

[Ben]: Okay, well. Yeah, f'you could get that to me, I'd be obliged. And now I got to get goin' for sure. Sil, catch you later. Sanders– night.

[Sandy]: Good night!

[Alynnra]: Night, Ben!

[Ben]: Night, miss.

Ben nods respectfully to Alynnra.