(2022-06-29) Healing Like a Hammer

Details

Author:	inkie
Summary:	The continuing adventures of Ben and Erixa, Violence Friends, in which they discuss the fauna of Draenor, relative heights, and angry paladinning.
Rating:	T for Teen

Erixa waves at Ben.

[Erixa]: Hi, Ben!

Ben grins.

[Ben]: Hey, miss.

[Ben]: Workin'?

[Erixa]: I was just leaving, are you just coming?

[Ben]: Yeah. But, I mean, just to see if there's work needs doin'. If you got some I can pitch in?

Erixa nods. "If you like, I was going to kill predators. I guess less hunters these days, they get dangerous."

[Ben]: Makes sense.

[Erixa]: Even prey animals pretty strong here.

[Ben]: Yeah. These ones especially.

He means a warp stalker, which has just appeared from thin air to attack them.

[Ben]: That whole sneakin' thing they do.

[Ben]: I do not care for it, I admit.

[Erixa]: Oh yes, they are tricky.

[Erixa]: I was never specialized in animals, but I knew those who were.

Erixa points at the empty air.

[Ben]: Yeah? Miss Tally used to draw some, in HQ.

[Erixa]: Ah! It reappears.

[Erixa]: Tally…?

[Ben]: Tally. The… I think she's a mage?

[Erixa]: And my people?

[Erixa]: I do not think I know a Tally.

[Ben]: Draenei, yeah.

[Ben]: She is in Cobalt. Come to Bruuk's a few times.

[Erixa]: I should meet Tally. Probably I will recognize her, there are not so many.

[Ben]: I reckon you will.

[Ben]: It is, uh. Possible? That I ain't got her name quite right.

Erixa grins at Ben. "I will think of possible close ones."

Ben smiles back at her, sheepishly.

[Erixa]: But my… bond-brother, I think? He is a hunter. He would fight animal.

[Ben]: What's a bond-brother?

[Erixa]: I think I heard a kaldorei call it that.

[Erixa]: My brother's husband.

[Ben]: Well, explain it to me like I ain't a Kaldo– oh, okay.

[Ben]: Brother-in-law.

[Ben]: Is how we say in Common.

[Erixa]: In-law. *Erixa tilts her head curiously* As in, related by law but not by blood?

[Ben]: Yeah, exactly.

Erixa nods, understanding. "He was always out, hunting was important for food." Erixa chuckles. "We became a very nature-like people."

[Erixa]: That is how he survived, when the orcs attacked.

[Ben]: Would you say you are a… very nature-like person?

Erixa shrugs. "I do not hunt or farm, so maybe no?"

Ben nods.

[Erixa]: I have my uses, for my people. Just… not that.

[Ben]: I am sure you are… useful as hell, ma'am.

[Ben]: I mean as a compliment. In case it sounds like a weird one.

Erixa laughs. "I hope so!"

Ben 's ears are red but he grins again.

[Erixa]: I think I am designed for violence. To be a weapon. I am a good weapon, for good people.

[Ben]: Design for violence. Yeah. You an' me both.

[Erixa]: So you are not a nature-like person, either?

[Ben]: I mean, I am a farmer. I know about animals, growin' things, and that. But I would not say nature-like in that I am not exactly a woodsman-type.

[Erixa]: But you do not farm, now.

[Ben]: Not personally. I got land with farmers on it, but I ain't there at the moment.

[Erixa]: Do you want to be? Is this like… you are not meant for violence, but for being with farmers?

[Ben]: I dunno, honestly.

[Ben]: I always reckoned I would be a farmer. But I been a fighter a while too, and I have really took to soldierin'.

[Ben]: Soldierin' is not a profession a fellow can keep up forever, though. A human fellow, I mean. So farmin' might come next, when I am too worn out for violence.

[Erixa]: So you have two paths, and they do not share. *Erixa frowns, touching a tentacle thoughtfully.* That is a challenge.

Ben nods somberly.

[Erixa]: If you are wore out for fighting, can you farm?

[Erixa]: It is also hard work, I think. Just, slower work.

[Ben]: Yeah, if I got hands to work some of it, especially. Which I do. There is tenant farmers. It is hard work, for sure.

[Erixa]: So it would not be… you in fields, carrying hay or planting seeds.

[Ben]: I mean I would hope I'm doin' some of it.

[Ben]: Don't want to just be the fellow up in the big house collectin' rents or whatever. I like to have my hands in. I like hard work.

[Ben]: But we'll see where soldierin' leaves me, I guess.

[Ben]: Maybe I won't get worn out, maybe we will win all the wars an' have peace in like a year or two.

[Ben]: And I will go breed horses an' grow wheat.

Ben smiles wryly.

Erixa laughs. She laughs for just a little too long for it to not be awkward.

Ben shifts awkwardly. "Kiddin'."

[Erixa]: We will win all the wars. Yes. That's going to happen. *Erixa tries not to laugh, but it's a struggle.*

[Erixa]: In… a year or two…

[Ben]: I mean, I am jokin'. But also weirder things have happened, you got to admit. Reckon before it happen, no one expected a door to open from the Nether an' a bunch of aliens to come tumblin' through tryin' to take over Azeroth.

[Erixa]: True, that was all very strange, from your view.

[Erixa]: But it is just… fight has been going on my whole life… and many thousands of years before.

Erixa looks at Ben with tears of mirth in her eyes. "Your people are very fast. Maybe it will happen!"

[Erixa]: We meet you like yesterday and hey, maybe now the wars end!

[Ben]: Yeah I guess the Legion is a whole different thing.

[Ben]: But then again, your Velen, he said Azeroth is where we end it, right?

Erixa nods agreeably. "He said that, yes."

[Ben]: You said 'very fast.' Is that how it seems? Or, like, very short?

Erixa looks Ben up and down. “Very fast and very short. But short is good, it is cute. Like gnomes, right?”

Ben looks disconcerted, and then laughs himself. "… I got to say, no one compared me to a gnome before."

[Erixa]: Oh they are much shorter.

[Ben]: Yes'm.

[Ben]: Before I met Kaldorei — and then draeneis — I never seen a lady taller than me before. Or even as tall.

Erixa looks curiously at Ben. "Are all human women shorter than you?"

[Ben]: Yeah.

[Ben]: .. I mean, I s'pose anything is possible. But I never heard of one taller.

[Ben]: My aunt is considered pretty tall for a lady and she is like a head shorter'n me.

[Erixa]: I see. So you are tall.

Erixa looks down at him, judging carefully what a tall human is.

Ben nods gravely. He looks up at Erixa. He is very tall, he swears.

[Erixa]: So it is not a thing where all men are taller than all women. Just you.

[Ben]: Not all men, no. It is more common I think for men to be kind of taller in general? But not all of 'em.

[Ben]: Anyhow I do not mind a tall lady. I got to admit draeneis and Kaldorei are pretty
interestin'. Just it was new is all.

[Erixa]: You are also new and interesting!

Ben grins at Erixa.

[Erixa]: Your people grow so fast. And your connection to the Light is different.

[Erixa]: Still good, just different.

[Ben]: We do. And I dunno about the Light, so. I am tryin', but I am not great at it yet.

[Erixa]: You touch the light? I thought it was only a few humans.

[Ben]: I am tryin' to learn. My dad — Sir Elohad, I mean — he is a paladin. And my aunt and wife are both priests. I would like to be a paladin? Since I met your O'ros.

[Ben]: But I am havin' a hard time comin' at it the right way, I think.

Erixa smiles kindly at him. "It is good. O'ros is a good guide."

Ben smiles back at her.

[Erixa]: What is the trouble?

[Ben]: Well, so. I have always been a good fighter I think on account of bein' angry. I have always been pretty angry an' I kind of… use that in a fight.

[Erixa]: Yes. I also feel full of rage.

[Erixa]: Wrath?

[Erixa]: There are a lot of words for it.

[Ben]: Really? Interestin'. This fellow I been studyin' with, he said I can't get the knack of it because you can be a fighter with anger but you can't be a paladin.

Ben eyes Erixa curiously.

[Erixa]: Righteous anger. *Erixa looks back at him* Good anger is helpful. Not… bad anger.

Ben considers this.

[Ben]: How you know the difference, though? I think maybe that is what Mizzy been tryin' to explain to me, but.

Erixa frowns. "For me… it is an anger that is bigger than me. If that makes sense. It is not 'Erixa is angry'. It is… there is a wrong, a deep wrong, that needs to be fixed."

[Erixa]: With violence.

Ben nods slowly.

[Ben]: Okay. Yeah. That is a little bit what Mizzy said? She said I got to think about things as, like, mine? My responsibility? And wantin' to protect 'em.

[Ben]: Which I already do, I think. But I dunno how to make the anger feel different.

[Ben]: Yet.

[Erixa]: The wanting to protect, that is helpful, too.

[Erixa]: But all of these things, you are… a path.

[Erixa]: A path through which Light flows, do you see?

Ben knits his brows. He does not really see.

[Ben]: Okay.

Erixa laughs. "Maybe there is a reason I am not a teacher."

[Ben]: I mean, maybe there is a reason I ain't a great student.

Ben smiles ruefully.

[Ben]: But I am interested to keep talkin' with you on this. Because it sounds maybe helpful.

Erixa grins back at Ben.

[Ben]: That you know how to be a paladin with anger an' violence.

[Erixa]: There are things that are hard for me. I spoke with your Aspenwood Colson about it.

Ben 's expression flickers briefly. He nods once and glances at Erixa.

[Ben]: What things? What he say?

[Erixa]: For me, healing is very much like… trying to grasp a thing too far away.

[Erixa]: I can reach and sometimes I can touch it, but sometimes it slips away.

[Ben]: I tried to heal Mizzy not too long ago and I think I hurt her. I mean, I healed it but also I think I kind of… burned her some?

[Ben]: Like, healin' out of temper, kind of.

[Erixa]: Angry healing.

[Ben]: Yeah. Angry healin'.

Erixa laughs. "That is what my teacher said once to me. 'Your healing is like being healed by a hammer.' "

[Erixa]: I wonder if that is the same problem.

Ben 's smile is wry again.

[Ben]: Once I healed myself I think the right way? The good way. But it was kind of on accident. I was just… thinkin' about other stuff and it happened. Can't exactly stop an' do that in a fight.

[Ben]: Or an emergency.

Erixa nods. "It is hard to get your mind in the right place, right? Kind of a soft, kind place, right in the middle of violence."

[Ben]: Also I was in the city and I think A'dal might help.

[Ben]: Yeah, I do not get into a soft, kind place real easy.

[Ben]: Not in a fight, anyhow.

Erixa flinches a little at that. "I have been avoiding the city. I am not sure… I may have too many memories there. I will go, soon."

Ben eyes her somberly.

[Ben]: I am sorry.

Erixa shakes her head. "You did nothing wrong. Anyway, I think maybe paladins are each different? Lieutenant Paladin said that for him healing is easy, but violence was hard."

Ben nods.

[Ben]: He kind of come to ask me about that a while back, and I just — it just pissed me off. I ain't real over it yet.

[Ben]: So. Just goes to show.

[Erixa]: About violence?

[Ben]: Yeah.

[Erixa]: Well, if you are still pissed off, we do not need to talk about Colson Paladin.

Ben shrugs a shoulder.

[Ben]: I ought to get over it, probably. But I ain't ever got on with fellows as well as ladies. And I do not take well to feelin'… judged, I guess.

Erixa looks seriously at Ben. "You can be a good paladin and fight. You do not have to be a healer."

Ben nods. "I hope so? I guess I just worry the Light won't come for me at all if I am too angry. Not in a soft, kind place. Like you say."

[Ben]: Like I have learned some blessin's, but I think hardly at all. Not so's anyone would notice.

[Erixa]: The Light needs much of us that is not soft or kind. Killing of demons, defending the innocent.

Ben nods slowly.

[Erixa]: Here is a blessing I know.

Erixa blesses Ben with Might. Be Mighty.

[Erixa]: It is a blessing for fight.

[Ben]: Yeah, see, wait–

Ben knits his brow and stares at Erixa with intense concentration. After a moment there is maybe a little prickle of warmth. It fades almost at once.

[Erixa]: I felt that!

[Ben]: Yeah, but, like, hardly. Right?

[Ben]: I can't make 'em stick. Or make too much difference.

Erixa claps him on the shoulder. "Hardly still means it is there."

Ben smiles crookedly at her.

[Erixa]: You are touching Light, yes? The rest is fixing details. *Erixa smiles back.*

[Ben]: … if you say so.

[Erixa]: When I was your age I could barely do anything with Light. *Erixa shrugs.* Also I was a child, but I was your age.

Ben laughs.

[Erixa]: Maybe we can practice healing, sometime?

[Ben]: If you would not mind, I'd like that.

[Erixa]: We can both be braced for pain.

Ben laughs again.

[Ben]: Pain I am okay at. Healin' is the problem.

[Erixa]: I would like to. It is an area I am weak, and I have often left it behind.

[Ben]: Well. We can practice it together. Although you might want to bring some bandages instead of relyin' all on me.

[Erixa]: Bandages I can buy!

Ben grins.

[Erixa]: And if we fail too hard, we can use to be better friends with Mordecai. He likes healing people, right?

[Ben]: He does. So does my wife.

[Erixa]: Oh! So I can be friends with your wife by being hurt!

Ben laughs. "I mean, you could be friends with her the regular way, too."

[Erixa]: I do not think I know her. I would like to.

[Ben]: You should. She is real sweet. I do not think she knows a lot of draenei? Or any?

[Ben]: She helps out in the infirmary an' orphanage in the city here.

[Erixa]: I'm a good test Draenei. *Erixa says with a straight face.* I hardly ever bite.

[Erixa]: I will… maybe when I go to the city, finally. I could look for her.

Ben nods.

[Ben]: Or we could all do some work together sometime. She could explain to us about healin' some, maybe.

[Erixa]: Yes, that could be fun. Or helpful. One or the other.

[Ben]: Or both? Maybe both.

[Erixa]: Maybe both. *Erixa says, and grins.*

[Ben]: I am gonna get back to the city, ma'am.

[Ben]: You stay safe.

[Erixa]: You too. Fight well.