![](http://cobalt-company.wdfiles.com/local--resized-images/writing:2022-05-27-sir/style="margin:/medium.jpg) |
| Details |
| Author: | Athena |
| Summary: | After The Great Muck Spawn Murder Spree, Colson and Mordecai take some time to talk about their relationship, and how they feel when their dynamics shift from time to time. This is an RP with two characters in a relationship discussing romantic elements of that relationship, in open communication within a safe space. Reader discretion is advised. |
| Rating: | M for Mature 17+ |
Chain: Morson
In Nagrand, after Cressidha portals herself and Cinnamon away.
Colson laughs just as Cress portals away.
Mordecai looks at the portal, then shakes his head. "Better to get her back to Telredor." 'Her' is definitely Pastry, who looks restless.
Colson looks over. "I will be right behind you," he says softly.
Mordecai nods.
Colson shifts his prayer to project speed to the horses.
Pastry is satisfied with this opportunity to GO FAST.
Mordecai fumbles to get his hat out and on before they get into the rain. He does not drop it. It's a pretty close call though.
"Ragveil," Mordecai calls, pulling Pastry to a halt.
Colson tilts his head back as they get into Zangarmarsh. The paladin doesn't seem to mind the rain. Colson slows Tenacious when Pastry stops. "Ah."
Colson looks at Mordecai for a moment, before he dismounts easily.
Mordecai waits patiently. Pastry waits impatiently.
Colson moves to the plant to examine it. "Hm. Decent growth." He plucks two of the little mushroom sort of heads, and tucks them away.
Tenacious looked like he was making eyes at the grass around them, but snorts when Colson approaches again. Colson moves up easily into the saddle, and continues riding without any sign of fatigue.
Pastry picks up speed as she recognizes home! Home stable!
Colson dismounts easily, and moves to Pastry's side where Mordecai will dismount, one hand raised in support.
Mordecai passes her reins over to a groom with some visible relief.
"Thank you," he mumbles to Colson.
Tenacious wanders off, by himself, to the stables. The grooms seem to expect this.
Colson smiles faintly at Mordecai, as he strips off his gloves. He offers his left hand out.
Mordecai takes his hand.
"Good timing. The blessing's just wearing off."
Colson's hand is, as usual, Very Warm. He nods.
Mordecai's hand is cold, again.
Colson squeezes it gently, once.
"You count by thirty seconds. The time between Shields," Colson says as he walks.
"Mmhm." Mordecai takes his hat off as they get inside the inn.
Colson works to get his key out as they get near the inn. He raises a hand in a friendly greeting to Abidaar. Colson opens the door, striding forward into the room in an easy step. Colson shuts the door behind Mordecai, and there it is. Colson has stopped his forward motion, and the fatigue settles on him like a downpour.
Mordecai ducks inside and moves to set down his bag and the excessively enchanted mace he didn't use a single time all day. He walks around the carpet to Colson. "Do you want help?"
Colson exhales slowly, and moves his right hand up to his hair to push it back. He smiles gently at Mordecai. "Yes, please. I may be down to my last hour for marching," Colson says, his voice soft, as he moves to the table.
Mordecai kicks his boots off and starts to help Colson with his armor. His fingers have at least warmed up a little. Well, half of them. "That wasn't so bad, was it?"
Colson nods. "It is getting easier. I…" Colson looks up, his eyes moving over the room without seeing it. "It will be harder, Sunday, but between Monday and today, at least, it has settled again."
Once the last piece of armor has been set aside, Mordecai leans in for a kiss.
Colson moves to place his warm hands on either side of Mordecai's face, a smile in his eyes, as he indulges in a deep kiss.
Mordecai melts into it. "You're so warm," he says in a hushed voice, even though this is really not news by this point.
Colson hums a faint sound, and then blinks, as his aura shifts. Colson chuckles, pulls Mordecai in closer. Colson doesn't seem to be remotely concerned with the rain damp robes. "You need out of these," Colson says, in a low voice.
Mordecai nods and stays right where he is.
Colson moves to brush his lips against Mordecai's jaw. "Do you want help?" he echoes, although there's a resonance in the baritone that's close to a purr.
Mordecai mumbles, "If you don't mind?" like there's a non-zero chance Colson would in fact mind.
Colson makes a sound that makes it clear he very, emphatically, does not mind. He begins pulling up the robe, brushing one more kiss briefly against Mordecai's lips.
One Very Long Shower and Several Hours Later
Mordecai makes a sleepy sort of noise and stretches. "'lson?"
Colson makes a happy sort of sound, as he sets down his notebook back on the nightstand, turning to press a kiss against Mordecai's hair.
"Time is it…?" Mordecai mumbles.
Colson gives a rough approximation of the time with a thirty minute gap. "I stepped out to get dinner. Just the usual from the place here," Colson says. Probably mushrooms and fish, honestly.
"Mmm…" Mordecai finishes stretching and settles back against Colson, eyes still shut. "'ve you."
Colson is clearly in no hurry to move, as he presses in closer. "Love you," Colson echoes, his voice soft.
Mordecai makes some more sleepy noises. He starts suddenly, and goes, "Horses," and then slumps back down. "Right."
Colson moves his hand in a gentle petting through Mordecai's hair. "We did not forget," Colson says, a smile in his voice.
Mordecai relaxes again. "Mmm."
Colson keeps up the gentle motions. "Is it getting any more enjoyable? Being in the field, I mean," Colson asks, a tentative note in his voice.
"Mm. Mmhm."
"And, what would you think of bringing a basket back out there? We could probably find a place with only one or two poisonous elementals. We could relax with donuts in between fights, and collect some more materials."
Colson's voice is genuine, as though he very much would enjoy doing exactly that.
"Shouldn't mix food with poisonous elementals," Mordecai mumbles. "Could eat up above that area first? It seemed nice."
Colson shrugs his right shoulder a little. "If I know to expect it, poison has no danger for me. But, we could see what that place was above us was."
Mordecai hums quietly. "'d like to go back there some more. Maybe not that exact… but… 'round there."
Colson makes a sound of agreement. "I like it there. In between the elementals and the Voidwalkers, I feel almost…" Colson pauses for a long moment. "Normal. Ordinary, once more." Colson says the words with a strange tone, almost fond, almost sad.
"Do you not feel normal here…?" Mordecai opens his eyes finally, shifting so he can actually look at Colson's face.
Colson shakes his head slowly. "No, I…am aware that it is not our world, here. It is not bad," Colson says, as he looks at Mordecai. "It simply reminds me of who I am, and why I am here. Out there…" Colson's eyes go a little far as he stares. "I can remember what it was like, before. When I was simply the fourth son of the House of Aspenwood. Not a paladin. Not a commander. Simply…Colson Aspenwood."
Mordecai nods. "I understand, I think."
Colson smiles faintly, refocusing on Mordecai, as he brushes his hand gently from Mordecai's hair to his jaw. "I did not always want to be him. There was a time I would have looked at all that I am now, and thought it the pinnacle of success."
Mordecai blinks sleepily at Colson. "Mm… I think I understand. I like who you are now, though."
Colson smiles. "I do, too. I am glad of it. 'Colson Aspenwood' at 17 could not have protected you out there, today. I am content with my choices, even if there are times when I would like to remember what I am like when I am not…" He sighs and there is a little hint of the Knight Captain staring out from his eyes, the force of command settling around him like a well-worn cloak. "I no longer entirely remember how not to do it, out there. It is who I am, now."
"How… not to do what?" Mordecai asks, like maybe he's missed a word somewhere in there.
"How not to order people, how not to take charge in the absence of another, how not to speak to you like…" Colson exhales. "How not to act as though I am your commander out there, and you two are my unit."
Mordecai rubs his eyes a little. "You have this voice you use."
Colson drops his gaze. "Yes."
"I like it." Mordecai gets those words out very quickly.
Colson looks at Mordecai, and there's a soft sort of questioning look in Colson's eyes, as he moves his hand gently through Mordecai's hair. "My voice?" He asks, like maybe Mordecai means in general.
Mordecai turns and hides his face against Colson's arm.
Colson makes a faint 'hm?' sort of sound, as he continues to move his fingers through Mordecai's hair.
Mordecai does not elaborate. He's hiding now.
Colson seems to be considering.
Mordecai is not answering that question. He's just going to be here for a while. Hiding.
"You like…when I use my commander voice?" Colson asks, after a long, long moment. Colson sounds almost confused, as though he's guessing at an answer he doesn't think could be correct.
"Is that what you call it?" Mordecai says to Colson's arm, because he's not looking.
Colson pauses for a moment. "For a long time, I thought of it as my Knight Lieutenant voice. But that is not…I was a Knight Captain, in the end." Colson exhales in a sigh. "I had to cultivate it. It did not come naturally, but, now. Now, it simply comes when I call for it, as easily and readily as the Light."
Mordecai mumbles something too quiet to make out.
Colson makes a soft sound of inquiry. "What?"
Mordecai raises his voice just enough to be audible. "It's very compelling. It works. Well. Effectively."
Colson smiles gently, as he trails his hand from Mordecai's curls to his shoulder. "It is meant to be." His voice is low, and soft. "I am glad it does not bother you, when I speak to you with it."
Mordecai finally risks looking up at Colson's face.
Colson looks relieved, his eyes soft as he looks at Mordecai.
Mordecai is blushing all the way to his ears, and he makes a couple more attempts at saying words that do not succeed.
Colson's expression goes even softer, as he moves his hand back to Mordecai's face. There's a possibility that Colson's hand finally doesn't feel warm, but only comparatively so through the heat of Mordecai's face.
"It. Um. I." That's some words, that's progress.
Colson tilts his head slightly to one side, his brows moving slightly. He brushes his thumb gently across Mordecai's cheekbone. "Hm?"
Mordecai takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly. "I wish I knew what you were thinking," Mordecai manages to say. "Right now."
Colson makes a soft sort of sound, as he looks at Mordecai. "I am thinking that I am happy that you do not find any part of me frightening, or off putting, where I need not fear that when I order you, that you are calling me 'sir' out of anything but habit, rather than thinking that you now must, because I sound as though I expect it. And I am thinking that you are so incredibly beautiful that I would do anything you wished, use any voice you wanted to hear, simply to have you looking at me."
"Afr — did you think I was afraid of you?"
Colson nods, slowly. "I was not sure, when you looked at me, what it was. It looks almost like fear, but when I asked if I was frightening you, you said, 'never.' So. It is not fear, but I worried that I would. That the Knight…" There's a hitch, "The commander part of me would…bother you. Make you feel smaller."
Mordecai stares at Colson as if he has said something that makes absolutely no sense. "Definitely not fear."
Colson brushes his hand slowly along Mordecai's jawline. "Will you tell me what it is?" There is not even the slightest hint of command in the question, spoken with a note of hesitation.
Mordecai freezes up for several very long seconds. "Yes," he says eventually, and then pulls away from Colson almost entirely, sitting up in bed and reaching for the water bottle on the nightstand.
Colson tenses, and there is a moment where it's clear Colson's expression is going into something of a Forced Neutrality that Colson halts. He looks as though he's bracing himself for something, not dissimilar from how Mordecai's seen him do before.
Mordecai fumbles getting the water bottle open as he attempts to turn the cap in the wrong direction.
Colson watches, that same expression on his face, as though he's waiting for something.
Mordecai seems to have gotten stuck. The water is trapped in the water container forever. After several seconds of this, he looks down at Colson and seems to notice something. "Ah."
Colson looks down at the water bottle, and back up at Mordecai. "Do you need any assistance?" His voice holds a cautious tone under the usual mildness.
Mordecai shakes his head. "I just need to see what I'm doing," Mordecai mutters. He puts a hand flat on Colson's chest, over his heart, and tells him, "Stay," in the tone of voice he has that is not unlike the Knight-Captain, but a little kinder.
There's a flash of something that goes through Colson at the touch, and the voice, as Colson's heart rate picks up immediately. He nods, and stays put.
Mordecai does not actually get up, nor does he remove his hand. He sets the water bottle back down on the nightstand and leans over Colson, getting very close. "That wasn't fear, was it."
Colson's expression intensifies, as he very gently places his hand over Mordecai's. Colson's heart is pounding hard enough that it can easily be felt. "No," he agrees. "This is not fear." He searches between Mordecai's eyes.
Mordecai stares at him intently. "It's the same for me. Do you understand now?"
Colson's breathing has gone a little uneven, a little fast, as his brows draw in slightly in the thinking frown. He's quiet for a long moment, as he thinks, his heart still pounding hard. "Do you know why I do not want you to call me 'sir'?" Colson asks, his voice deep and low.
Mordecai sounds like he really could have used that water earlier, but it's too late now. "You said that wasn't who you wanted to be to me."
Colson nods, slowly. "I do not ever want you to think that I am above you. I am not your commander, no matter what our ranks in the Company may ever be, no matter how I may sometimes…act as such. You are my equal, in every way that matters. When I hear you say it, that is what I fear is happening. That you are placing yourself below me." Colson's breathing is still a little too fast, his eyes dark.
"Light, Colson. No, I…" Mordecai stops. "I know we're equals. In every way that matters. I believe that. You mustn't doubt that."
Colson swallows hard, and nods, his eyes still roaming across Mordecai's features, as though Colson is trying to either find something or memorize it. "If it is not why you sometimes call me 'sir.' I will not mind it. If you wanted to. When I." His voice goes halting, as he stops talking.
"Not…" Mordecai clears his throat. "Not minding something isn't the same as liking it. Stay," he adds again, and finally gets up, grabbing the water bottle as he does.
Colson lets go of Mordecai's hand, as he remains there, watching Mordecai.
Mordecai turns one of the crystal braziers up a bit brighter, squints at the water bottle, and opens it just fine this time. He seems puzzled that it just worked, but shrugs and drinks the water.
Colson watches with an Expression, as he stays absolutely still where Mordecai told him to stay.
Mordecai sets the empty water bottle down on the table. On his way back to the bed, he finds a new water bottle, probably from one of Colson's bags, to replace the water bottle on the nightstand.
Colson is completely silent the entire time. He looks as though he's holding himself tightly controlled, but it doesn't seem to be costing him anything.
Mordecai gets back in bed from Colson's side of the bed, which means climbing over Colson's legs. He sits down next to Colson and finally says, "Thank you for waiting."
Colson's expression flickers in a faint smile, as he looks at Mordecai. "Why do you call me 'sir'? If not by habit, or feeling as though you must, to a commander?" Colson asks, as though no time had passed.
Mordecai reaches down to touch Colson's shoulder and begins to trace the scar with his fingers. "I think at least some of it is habit. But… out of respect, loyalty, trust, maybe. Not because I feel like I must."
Colson closes his eyes, as he sways forward slightly into the touch. "Then I would not only not mind that. I would…like that. Knowing it was how you meant it, when you say it. To me." Colson's voice has gone almost to a whisper.
Mordecai smiles down at him. "All right. I… didn't mean to make you worry, before."
Colson makes a faint 'hm?' sound. He might have lost some thread of the conversation, as he opens his eyes to look at Mordecai. "Worry?"
"I was just… having trouble finding the right words. And saying them."
"Oh." Colson shakes his head slightly, his eyes dark. "It is alright. I do not mind waiting. I…thought it might have been something else, that is all. I was ready to hear it."
Mordecai shakes his head. "No. I just think you're absolutely gorgeous, and I love you, and I trust you completely."
Colson flushes, visibly, and there's a soft bloom of a smile on his face, as he reaches his right hand out to Mordecai's cheek. "Mm." He smiles wider. "And, you may always order me to do something. I love knowing I am doing exactly as you wish me to."
"Yes," Mordecai agrees. "That. I. You may as well. It… helps, sometimes, if I'm anxious, I think." He turns his head and kisses Colson's palm.
Colson blinks, and it's like something has clicked in the paladin's mind. "Oh. That…like after the tavern?" Colson's voice hitches slightly at the kiss. His expression is at odds with the gentle inquiry.
Mordecai blinks. His expression goes distant for just a moment before he shakes it off. "I might be too preoccupied at the moment to remember, but… probably?"
"You wanted to be away, and when I asked where, you did not seem to know, so I…moved, but I was not sure if I should have…" Colson shrugs his right shoulder slightly. His voice sounds distracted and he's staring at Mordecai's mouth.
"Oh. Yes. Thank you. Ah. Is there anything else you would like me to… clarify?"
"Yes," Colson says, and his mouth twitches in a faint smile as he moves in closer. "How much in a hurry are you to have dinner?" Colson asks, his voice deceptively mild.
Mordecai looks over at the table and seems to notice for the very first time that Colson brought a dinner tray in earlier. He was about a foot away from it earlier, too. Huh. Food. He looks back at Colson. "Will you remind me about it later?"
"Yes." Colson does not look away from Mordecai. The food exists somewhere. Colson remembers it exists. Sort of.
"Then… in that case, I'm not in any hurry at all," Mordecai decides, leaning in close.
Colson makes an almost harsh sound, as he closes the distance, finally letting go of the control he has been holding onto, as he very deliberately lets the Knight Captain out, pulling Mordecai to him. "Let me," he says, almost an order.
Mordecai opens his mouth, finds that he has temporarily lost the ability to say words, and just nods.