(2022-01-02) The Great Wetlands Adventure, Sunday RP

Details

Author:	Athena
Summary:	Sunday Adventure Squad tackles the Wetlands. Torvald "Gentleman Adventurer" Fauntleroy has been tasked to see to a matter of land inheritance, and encounters two draenei and a mage on the road. Shenanigans and some blood (not theirs) ensue.
Rating:	T for Teen

Hargin Mundar says: A eft a Ruk Goten loch GrUm red arad-khaz A havar hine ga dun frean Thon
Hargin Mundar says: Huuup…Huuup…Bleeeeehh!
Alliza wrinkles her nose. "Really?"
Alliza scolds Hargin Mundar.
Torvald cheers Alliza, and laughs. "You tell him! If you're going to burp like that, at least give us a song!"
[Alliza]: If you're going to drink so much that you need to go and do…-that- then what is the point? For a start it is a waste.
[Alliza]: And that's ignoring how…how disgusting it is!
Hargin Mundar says: A eft a Ruk Goten loch GrUm red arad-khaz A havar hine ga dun frean Thon
[Alliza]: Don't you walk away from me!
Torvald laughs, a loud booming sound, and lifts his flagon to Alliza.
[Nesselos]: Wow, rainy day! *Nesselos says, a little too loud, tromping into the room with a smile.*
Nesselos trips a little on the steps, catching himself on the bannister without changing expression.
Torvald turns with a bright smile to Nesselos'…chest and then looks up, and up, for the draenei's face. "Ah! So it is! Quite an adventure!"
[Nesselos]: OH! Little people! Or… *He looks stricken for a moment* You don't like to be called little people, I think. Humans!
Torvald laughs again, and stands up to his full height of 6'6". It is still very short.
Hargin Mundar says: Bergum khaz ruk goten Eft ruk kost-um thon am gefrunon kha
Nesselos smiles down at him genially.
[Torvald]: It's been a long time since I wasn't the tallest in the room! You must be one of the Draenei I've heard so much about.
Alliza squints at the Draenei. "And you are a…" She tries flipping through one of her books, but has no luck.
[Nesselos]: Yes! I am a Draenei. From Draenor!
[Nesselos]: I think not in your book, lady?
[Alliza]: A what from where?
Torvald turns to Alliza, and grins. "Truly an adventure of a lifetime! Can you even imagine!" He chuckles, and sticks out a hand.
[Alliza]: How could I not have heard of this?
[Nesselos]: Our ship crash-landed, over by the kaldorei lands.
[Shar'ei]: Oh! Are you —
[Torvald]: Torvald Fauntleroy, GENTLEMAN ADVENTURER. *He mimes shaking his hand, just in case.*
[Nesselos]: We have come from another… *he looks over and spots Shanei* Oh, hello.
[Shar'ei]: Dray-nay?
Nesselos and Shar’ei are wearing the exact same dress.
Nesselos looks her up and down. "I think it looks better on you, to be honest."
Shanei thanks Nesselos.
[Torvald]: Don't be so hard on yourself, good man. It's got a very slimming waist!
[Nesselos]: I like to think it gives me nice, um, shape.
[Nesselos]: Oh, and you introduced yourself. I am Nesselos, Expert Shaman!
[Alliza]: And this is the female variety. *She nods to herself.* I should be taking notes.
[Shar'ei]: Please excuse, I voked up in Teldrassil vithout, err, no knowing-in-head.
Nesselos's mouth falls open. "I'm sorry, you… fell far away from the crash site? And no memories?"
[Torvald]: Indeed it does! *He chuckles, and looks at Shar'ei.* Ah, knew a dwarf like that once. Thought himself a kobold for awhile there.
[Shar'ei]: Saw crash site. Long vay away. Not sure vhat happen
[Shar'ei]: Kobold?
Nesselos moves to pat her comfortingly on both shoulders. "Oh you poor thing!"
Shar'ei looks nervous but doesn't dodge.
[Alliza]: A dwarf thought he was a kobold? Did he stick a candle on his head and all?
Nesselos laughs at Alliza.
Torvald gestures with a hand to his knees for some reason. "Oh yes, ROFLs, as I like to call them. Rodents of Fun Littles."
[Torvald]: Azeroth's smallest big candle exporters.
[Shar'ei]: Have not seen, but Aseroff is biiiiiiiiig vorld.
[Nesselos]: Roffle. *Ness laughs*
[Nesselos]: Are you all hiding from the rain in here?
Torvald turns to Alliza. "He was revered among them. Ended up fighting him." He laughs. "Became King of the Kobolds for a bit there, which ended up being quite useful for their secret passages."
Nesselos kneels before you.
[Nesselos]: Hail, King of Kobold.
Torvald bows before Nesselos.
Torvald laughs at Nesselos.
[Shar'ei]: Hide from rain? But rain is good, is make plants grow,
[Torvald]: I do believe I forfeited the throne, but in honor, I dub thee a knight of the kobolds.
[Nesselos]: Makes the ground all slippy.
[Nesselos]: Slippery?
[Alliza]: I…suppose I never considered the hierarchy of Kobolds.
[Nesselos]: Nesselos, Knight of Kobold. Has a nice ring.
Torvald bows to Nesselos, a fancy flair with an imaginary hat.
[Alliza]: I am certainly hiding from the rain. I don't understand who would ever want to live in a place like this. It's far too…wet.
Torvald chuckles at Alliza.
[Nesselos]: It is called so, right?
[Torvald]: So it is!
[Nesselos]: I am new here, just off the boat!
[Alliza]: It is. And you would think people would take the hint!
[Shar'ei]: Vater-in-ground good plants! Many herbs here.
[Shar'ei]: Just need to clean hoofs very good after.
[Nesselos]: Water elementals are good for healing, too.
[Alliza]: Do they heal by drenching? If so, I would rather not.
Torvald nods, and takes a second look at the Draenei's feet. "Indeed, might want to keep well on the roads. Don't want to sink your heels in too deep and get stuck!"
[Shar'ei]: Can make bobbles, keep rain off?
[Nesselos]: There is water involved, yes.
Torvald sets down his mug, and sighs. "And it doesn't look to be letting up any time soon. I had hoped to wait it out, but ah, well. Paperwork waits for no one!"
[Alliza]: Does that work? That would be very helpful.
Shanei shrugs at Alliza. Who knows?
Torvald examines the bubble. "Well, now, that is an idea! Good lady, might I ask a favor of you?"
Shanei nods at Alliza.
[Shar'ei]: Vhat is need?
[Torvald]: I've been hired by a law firm in Ironforge looking to settle an inheritance dispute. I need to get a CoD, which I have been told is not a fish, and is in fact something paper-y. *He laughs and winks.* I didn't want it to get damaged in the rain.
[Torvald]: Thought to wait it out here, but ah, with that magic of yours! *He makes a gesture of holding a hand over his head.* Well!
[Nesselos]: A paper cod. *Nesselos nods understanding.* A craft thing?
Torvald laughs. "I am hopeful the dwarves will know! They're up in the north, doing some very exciting warfare adventure."
[Shar'ei]: I have [Leaded Vial] for potions, cn ve get bigger vial?
[Torvald]: It sounds very dangerous! *He says his with a grin and a light in his eyes.*
[Nesselos]: Do you need help? I can help! I have no plans yet, just arrived!
[Torvald]: Of course! Adventure awaits!
[Alliza]: If the Draenei are going, I am as well. I need to further study them.
[Shar'ei]: I vas told, come here, help friends. So. Ve go? Find See-Oh-Dee?
Torvald turns to Alliza with the same grin. "Ah, yes! Just as my brother would say, questions must have answers!"
Nesselos grins at Alliza. "You are welcome to study me, friend."
Hargin Mundar says: Huuup…Huuup…Bleeeeehh!
[Torvald]: Glorious!
[Shar'ei]: I also vant study Dray-nay. So much to learn! Ve from very long away, yes?
Torvald gestures to the outside. "Come! The Great Road Adventure awaits!" He stomps toward the door, tossing another coin on the table on his way out.
Nesselos gives a sad look to Shar'ei. "I will answer anything you ask."
Torvald turns his face up to the rain. "That's a good trick that is!"
Nesselos shakes the water out of his hair like a big dog. The water keeps coming.
[Alliza]: Much appreciated.
[Nesselos]: Sometimes I turn into wolf. Do not be alarmed, I am friendly wolf.
Torvald laughs. "Fascinating! Do you change on the full moon?"
[Nesselos]: I can do that! Or whenever!
[Shar'ei]: Is fine, I friends many druid. Turn bear and cat often.
[Nesselos]: Is there something special about the full moon?
[Torvald]: Ah, ha! Old stories my ma used to tell me as a child.
[Shar'ei]: Is wolf a run-form or a fight-form?
Nesselos smiles at Shanei.
[Nesselos]: It is run-form.
[Shar'ei]: I see!
[Nesselos]: Kaldorei druids?
[Shar'ei]: Yes
[Nesselos]: My cousin tells me first one they met was a druid.
[Shar'ei]: I have been helping them for moons
[Nesselos]: Is good idea! They did not like us at first.
[Nesselos]: You are diplomat!
[Shar'ei]: Not like? Vhy?
[Nesselos]: They know Eredar.
[Alliza]: You look a bit like…yes, those.
[Nesselos]: And we look like Eredar.
[Torvald]: Ah, yes, the Kaldorei! I've heard of them. Never had the pleasure of meeting one, yet. *He pauses.* An Eredar?
Nesselos nods at Alliza.
[Shar'ei]: Ara-dar?
[Nesselos]: I suppose we are them.
[Nesselos]: But they joined Legion, and we did not.
[Shar'ei]: Vhat are ara-dar?
Torvald appears to be thinking hard.
[Torvald]: The Legion. Now was that the one with the demons, or the one with the undead?
[Alliza]: Demons.
[Nesselos]: Demons. *Ness says firmly*
[Torvald]: Ah, yes.
[Nesselos]: Eredar are… our people a long time ago.
[Nesselos]: We are Draenei because we are exiles. That is what it means.
[Nesselos]: We did not join Legion and we ran. And they chase, our old people.
[Shar'ei]: Ahhh! Vhy exile? Vhy vere so many of ve in crashed ship?
[Nesselos]: One day, maybe, they remember who they should be, and we will all be friends again.
Torvald makes a sympathetic face, but he smiles. "It sounds like quite the adventure! A Friend Ship!"
[Nesselos]: Yes, a friend ship!
[Nesselos]: The Draenei on the ship… are all there are left.
[Nesselos]: Eredar are not our people anymore.
[Torvald]: Well, now.
[Nesselos]: It may seem a lot, but it is all.
[Shar'ei]: All that left. Ve are…not-many people
[Torvald]: And yet! You have survived this long
Nesselos looks somber for a moment. "No. Not many."
[Alliza]: We will have to get you repopulating. This world should be able to support you.
Torvald laughs.
Nesselos laughs.
[Shar'ei]: Re-pop-ooo-late?
[Nesselos]: Making babies!
[Shar'ei]: Sorry. Not first tounge
Nesselos claps a hand on his mouth and flushes.
[Torvald]: Be fruitful and multiply! Channel the adventure of the mosquito of the Wetlands.'
[Alliza]: Mm…I bet Draenei young are adorable.
[Nesselos]: I have not seen so many. We live long, so few babies.
[Torvald]: Oh? How long is long?
[Nesselos]: I saw many when I was child.
[Nesselos]: But then, I would not think "Oh, cute".
[Nesselos]: Thousands and thousands. *Ness shrugs*
Torvald laughs at Nesselos.
[Alliza]: Thousands?!
[Nesselos]: I was born not long after we land on Draenor. Many babies born then, relatively.
[Shar'ei]: Ahh! Ve live long, like Kaldori!
Nesselos nods at Shanei.
[Alliza]: Books. You must write books. I would love to read them.
[Nesselos]: Oh yes, books!
[Torvald]: When I was a lad, I would have thought you were having me on. But, turns out there are more things than I thought there would be that live into their ten thousands.
[Nesselos]: I am not ten thousand.
[Torvald]: Oh, a young spruce? A mere 5,000?
[Shar'ei]: I…not know
Torvald laughs at Nesselos.
[Nesselos]: I am young, like you! Less than two hundred.
[Torvald]: Ah, a wee babe. *He winks.*
[Alliza]: Less than… Yes well I am less than forty.
[Nesselos]: I do not recognize you. *Ness frowns at Shar'ei*
[Torvald]: I am twe — ah, no, thirty…one? I believe?
[Alliza]: You don't know how old you are?
Shanei shrugs. Who knows?
Torvald shrugs. Who knows?
[Nesselos]: You should go back to Exodar, see if you find people who know you. Then you know how old you are.
[Shar'ei]: May be good thing. Vould be sad, friend rememebr me, I not rememebr them.
Torvald 's face turns strangely solemn. "Even if you did not, well. I am sure you are missed."
[Nesselos]: Less than forty. *Ness laughs at Alliza.* Truly?
[Alliza]: But at least your friends would know you're alive!
Shar’eii nods.
[Torvald]: I'd give anything to see those I lost again, even if they didn't remember me.
Shar'ei looks relieved.
Torvald clears his throat and points, pulling up a grin. "Now! There are the chaps I should speak to! Probably."
[Nesselos]: Yes, they would be happy to know you live. They must think you died in crash.
Torvald waves at Longbraid the Grim.
[Torvald]: Excuse me, good sir, are you Longbeard the Gray?
Longbraid the Grim says: It's LongBRAID th' GRIM, wha's it ta ye, lad?
[Nesselos]: Is grey, though.
Torvald bows. "Ah, I'm a representative on behalf of the House of Smallpotatoes. I'm here about the - "
Longbraid the Grim glares at Nesselos before turning a baleful eye to Torvald. "Oh, AYE, another one o' them. Here 'bout th' papers. I'll tell ye wha' I told them. I dinna ha' it. Lost in a firefight."
[Nesselos]: So the paper is burned.
[Torvald]: Come now, good sir, surely something could be done! It's just a little CoD!
[Alliza]: I'm surprised it's not a soggy mess. But I suppose if it burned first…
[Nesselos]: Maybe the two cancel out?
Shar'ei examines the tree.
Longbraid the Grim says: Oh, aye, if ye were willing ta fight yer way through th' bastards tha' killed him ta verify th' death again, sure. But barrin' tha', I've got a battle ta fight.
Torvald cheers. "Is that all you need! Consider it done! Where could I find this fallen chap?"
[Nesselos]: We need to fight the dwarves for you?
[Alliza]: We're locating a corpse?
Nesselos turns to look at the tree, curiously.
Alliza wrinkles her nose.
Shar'ei strengthens the tree against explosions.
Longbraid the Grim grunts. "Well. Maybe I could put some o' th' paperwork togetha fer ye, if ye were ta take some heat off o' us. An' aye, I'll point ye ta th' body."
Nesselos nods at Longbraid the Grim.
[Shar'ei]: Tree is in bad-place near fighting. I help it stay strong.
Torvald gives Longbraid a thumbs up. "Well! That wasn't so hard! You can all wait here, if you'd like! Leave it to me!"
[Nesselos]: You talk to trees?
[Nesselos]: Wow!
[Shar'ei]: Vhy do dwarf fight dwarf?
Torvald shrugs. Who can say?
[Shar'ei]: Vell, my druid friends do. I just heal tree.
[Nesselos]: Maybe these are like Eredar to them.
[Shar'ei]: Have not seen Air-a-dar, not sure.
[Nesselos]: Is a kindness, lady. The tree must be happy.
Dark Iron Saboteur's eyes glow red as he lights his dynamite and begins to cackle madly!
Torvald chugs some potions, and flexes his dwarf whacking arm.
Dark Iron Dwarf attempts to run away in fear!
[Shar'ei]: Oh! I make potions.
[Shar'ei]: These dwarfs, black skin. Is black bad?
[Nesselos]: Perhaps they are corrupt dwarves?
Torvald brushes some powder off his armor. "Well, now. Not necessarily. But, well, in this case. I've never met someone with glowing red eyes who wasn't at least a little cursed."
Nesselos nods solemnly at Torvald.
[Alliza]: I read that something happened to them and now they are behaving strangely.
[Shar'ei]: Oh! See corrupt Kaldori. Is sad. Poor dwarfs.
[Torvald]: Not saying that's all bad. Whomst amongst us hasn't been cursed from time to time?
[Nesselos]: So cursed indeed, miss.
[Alliza]: I haven't been cursed.
[Torvald]: Not even once?
[Alliza]: No…just poisoned.
[Torvald]: Everyone should get cursed at least once. What an adventure!
[Nesselos]: Poison I can help with!
[Nesselos]: I have trained in antidote.
[Shar'ei]: I can help disease.
Torvald pats a pocket full of dirt. "And I have dirt, if anyone needs it."
Dark Iron Dwarf attempts to run away in fear!
Torvald seems to finally catch on where all the fire is coming from. "Ah! You're a mage!"
[Torvald]: Tell me, did you train at Kirin Tor, by any chance?
[Alliza]: I have not. I learned everything I know through books and practical application.
[Nesselos]: A self-taught master!
Torvald's face falls for a moment, before he inhales and turns his head up to the rain. "Well done!"
[Nesselos]: You are looking for a kirin tor?
[Nesselos]: Or is it place?
[Torvald]: I…my brother studied there. Before. It's in the north. *He points east.*
[Alliza]: That is definitely not north.
[Nesselos]: I see. North.
[Torvald]: Oh! *He points South.*
[Alliza]: Still wrong…
Nesselos has no idea which direction is north either.
Torvald laughs, and this time, points north. He looks at Alliza for confirmation.
[Alliza]: That's right. North.
[Alliza]: You must get lost a lot.
[Torvald]: I can't say being underground for years helped my sense of direction.
[Shar'ei]: North is, um, is way compass point?
[Torvald]: I am an Expert at getting lost, if you asked my ma.
[Nesselos]: I know places. Directions are very abstract.
[Alliza]: Oh dear. At least we found the dwarves you were looking for.
Torvald chuckles. "I asked for directions at the tavern."
[Torvald]: It's rather cheery in here.
[Nesselos]: Oh it is cozy in here!
Torvald laughs at Nesselos.
[Alliza]: Did they tell you, "It's near this pointy rock, and this oddly shaped tree?"
[Nesselos]: That is effective directions.
[Nesselos]: If you don't have compass, then how else you tell where a thing is?
[Nesselos]: It is near such and such.
[Alliza]: You could simply learn north.
[Torvald]: Actually, I believe they said, "Look for the sorriest bastards ye could think ta spot past the shadiest goblin ye'd want ta smack on th' 'ead, and look fer the broken rocks."
[Nesselos]: Humans have internal compass?
Torvald leans across the table at the dwarf. "Pardon me, good sir, got any of that stout by any chance?"
[Alliza]: No, no. You can look at the sky, most of the time.
[Nesselos]: But… rain?
[Shar'ei]: North is star-hub, east is sun-comes up, west is sun-goes-down
Dark Iron Entrepreneur says nothing, just slides across some dynamite.
[Torvald]: Glorious!
[Nesselos]: I would not drink that.
Torvald laughs at Nesselos.
[Nesselos]: If you do, though. Healing water coming soon.
[Torvald]: I do know how to throw it though.
[Torvald]: Let's see now…
Torvald throws the dynamite. He misses, but dodges remarkably quickly out of the way.
[Torvald]: Hmm. Must have been defective. *He fights the Dwarf anyway.*
Dark Iron Demolitionist attempts to run away in fear!
[Shar'ei]: Vhy dwarfs not use drawers?
[Torvald]: Oh, is this a joke?
[Torvald]: Uh, because they're too….short?
[Nesselos]: Does sound like a joke!
[Shar'ei]: No joke, seem odd
Torvald looks as though he's trying to figure out how it could be a joke.
[Torvald]: Because they're not dwawers!
Alliza covers her face with her palm.
Torvald laughs at Alliza.
Dark Iron Saboteur's eyes glow red as he lights his dynamite and begins to cackle madly!
[Torvald]: Come now, Miss…I don't know that I caught your name, Miss Mage.
[Alliza]: Alliza.
Torvald sticks out a hand. It is covered in Dark Iron bits. "Torvald Fauntleroy GENTLEMAN ADVENTURER at your service!"
Alliza stares at his hand. "Wash that off before you presume to touch anyone."
[Nesselos]: Alliza! A lovely name. *He turns to Shar'ei* I can't recall if I caught yours.
Torvald laughs. "One moment then, while I see if these fine chaps have a sink!"
[Shar'ei]: Not sure. Kaldorei call me Shar-ei, means Light One.
[Nesselos]: Shar'ei for now, then. A kind name.
[Shar'ei]: Not sure if is name of people-I-no-remember call me.
[Torvald]: Well, that seems to have at least thinned the herd.
[Torvald]: Well, Longbraid! Any luck?
[Shar'ei]: Thin herd? Is that like an eye is an "I" until it's heard?
Longbraid the Grim shoves a piece of paper at Torvald. "Take this ta th' bridge there, down the tunnels. Should find what's left o' th' poor chap. Sign it in front o' these…" He looks over the Draenei. "People."
Longbraid the Grim says: Then, aye, ye'll ha' wha' ye need. I'll verify it.
[Nesselos]: I witness you!
Torvald bows to Longbraid. "The Great Body Witness Adventure!"
[Alliza]: They're Draenei. *She nods like she's known it all her life.*
[Shar'ei]: (quietly) Does drawf not think we people? Vhy?
[Torvald]: Might not have seen your kind before. Maybe he doesn't get out much!
Torvald is not quiet.
[Shar'ei]: Yes, many in Aseroff think we odd.
[Alliza]: Clearly lacking in education.
[Nesselos]: They will get used.
[Torvald]: Well I think you're just glorious!
Shanei thanks Torvald.
Dark Iron Bombardier says: Still no sign of the final shipment of explosives.
[Nesselos]: This one is not dead!
Dark Iron Saboteur's eyes glow red as he lights his dynamite and begins to cackle madly!
[Torvald]: Well. He is now!
Torvald laughs.
[Alliza]: This place is a MESS.
Torvald looks around the room.
[Torvald]: Well now!
Torvald continues to look. He is standing on a body. He doesn't seem to notice.
[Alliza]: Uh.
[Torvald]: Now, if I were a corpse, where would I be?
[Alliza]: You may be standing on it…
Torvald looks down. "Ah, HA! I would be here exactly!"
[Nesselos]: Under your feet!
Torvald grins.
Alliza mutters to herself, "Gross…"
Torvald takes out the paperwork. "I hereby assert I have verified the death of Ebenezer Rustlocke."
[Shar'ei]: Feet? Is measurement and also vhat no-hoof people call hoofs, yes?
Torvald signs on a dotted line, and gestures to the others. "I think you just need to sign here, and here."
[Nesselos]: I witness. Death of Ezebener Rockluste.
[Alliza]: Read it first. You never know…
Nesselos signs it without reading.
Shar'ei block prints in all caps, "I SHAR'EI AND I SEE DEAD DWARFS"
Torvald takes out a flask, and pours some out. "On behalf of Ebenezer. May he never lose his beard, even in death."
Alliza sighs and covers her face again.
Nesselos nods solemnly.
Torvald scratches his chin. "Now, did we…"
[Torvald]: Ah, ha! This way!
He goes the wrong way.
Torvald looks around. "Ah, no."
They return to Longbeard.
[Torvald]: Here we are good chap!
[Nesselos]: We have witnessed the dead person.
[Shar'ei]: We find dead dwarf!
[Alliza]: And if you see the corpse, don't mind the…boot prints…
Alliza eyes Torvald.
Longbraid the Grim shoots a Dark Iron through the eye, and tosses out a hand to scrawl over the paper. "Yeah, yeah, great. Hope ye got it this time, fore it's nothin' but rubble."
[Torvald]: Rubble?
Longbraid the Grim says: Aye. Th' bastards are like ta blow th' bridge any minute now. Sent me best scout ahead, and she came back half dead. *He gestures to a dwarf lying face down in the dirt.* She'll be fine.
Nesselos looks curious about this too.
[Nesselos]: Oh no! Such a pretty bridge, too!
[Torvald]: Well, now. Can't have that. Be right back then, good chap.
[Shar'ei]: Do dwarf not be buried in dirt, help feed plants?
[Shar'ei]: Is Circle of Life! And priestess always hold up baby cat vhen she explain.
Torvald laughs at Shanei.
Nesselos looks baffled at that. "A baby cat?"
[Shar'ei]: Never understood vhy that was important.
[Shar'ei]: Babies are new life?
[Nesselos]: Why a cat, though?
[Torvald]: And that death is but a 'paws' on the great adventure!~
[Nesselos]: This bridge does not look nearly as sturdy.
Nesselos eyes the railings nervously.
[Shar'ei]: Is okay, Alice has Slow Fall!
Torvald looks over the side. "Well, falling would be a grand adventure!"
[Alliza]: The last one had holes in it.
[Torvald]: Well, that is quite the basket of fun.
[Nesselos]: That is good explosion!
[Torvald]: Reminds me of old times.
[Nesselos]: Not good if it happens on bridge.,
Torvald dusts his hands off.
Alliza eyes his hands that probably need more than dusting.
Torvald is looking more than a little blood spattered.
[Shar'ei]: And no rain to vash off blood.
[Torvald]: Explosives set off far from the bridge, good chap!
[Alliza]: I have water. But I would need a lot of water to fix that.
Longbraid the Grim says: Great. *He shoots for another Dark Iron. He misses.* Damn!
Longbraid the Grim says: They've got somethin' goin' on. *He turns to Ashlan.* Warlock, if I had ta guess.
Ashlan Stonesmirk smirks. "Aye. Southern bastard."
[Torvald]: Well! A warlock!
[Torvald]: I haven't seen a warlock in ages.
[Torvald]: What an adventure!
[Nesselos]: A warlock… *Nesselos face falls*
[Nesselos]: We must…. stop warlock, then.
Motley Garmason says: Oh, aye? If ye ha' a mind ta. I'm willin' ta pay ye ta take care o' it.
[Alliza]: Ugh, warlocks. Undisciplined users of Fel.
[Shar'ei]: Fel? Oh! Is green stuff satyrs use?
Torvald points in the right direction by pure chance. "To the Great Warlock Adventure!"
[Alliza]: They don't have the patience to learn magic the "right" way.
[Torvald]: My brother used to say something similar.
[Nesselos]: They think they are using power. Only they are used.
[Torvald]: Never thought highly of them.
[Alliza]: No true mage would.
[Nesselos]: Is sad for them. They end up bad.
Torvald laughs.
[Torvald]: But they are quite easy to spot at least!
Torvald points at Balgaras the Foul.
[Nesselos]: Only thing is to stop them before they ruin themselves too badly.
[Alliza]: That's a fact.
[Nesselos]: Maybe soul is okay, after.
[Shar'ei]: Vhat is…blue black thing?
[Torvald]: That my dear lady is a MINION.
[Nesselos]: Is creature of void. *Nesselos hunches his shoulders slightly*
[Shar'ei]: Void?
[Nesselos]: Opposite of Light.
[Shar'ei]: Ah! Void bad!
Nesselos nods.
Dark Iron Demolitionist says: Feel the power of the Dark Iron Dwarves!
Balgaras the Foul says: A ta Khazrega eft Rune Gor ruk A kha havar ga drugan mok-kha kost helm hor gor hoga
Dark Iron Demolitionist says: Time to die.
The Adventure party attacks.
Balgaras the Foul attempts to run away in fear!
He doesn’t make it very far. He runs straight into the business end of Torvald’s mace.
Torvald looks at the bashed in face of Balgaras.
[Torvald]: Well.
Alliza looks AWAY from the bashed in face of Balgaras.
Nesselos pats the corpse on the back. "I am sorry you went astray."
Torvald takes a knife and cuts off an intact ear. "That should do it!"
Torvald looks at the ear. "Or, wait, was this a kobold thing? You know, I can't remember. I think it was dwarves who like a good ear."
[Alliza]: I am not touching that. I won't.
[Torvald]: Of course not, good lady!
Torvald holds up his gloves. "That's what these are for!"
[Alliza]: You will wash those when you are done. Or burn them, I don't care which.
Torvald laughs at Alliza.
[Torvald]: You sound just like my brother!
[Torvald]: Although he usually said that about my gloves before I used them!
[Nesselos]: Why before?
[Alliza]: I can imagine.
Torvald laughs at Alliza.
[Torvald]: I do believe you'd have liked my brother, Miss Alliza.
Torvald waves cheerily to the dwarves.
Torvald digs out the ear and hands it over. "One warlock ear!"
Alliza gags.
Motley Garmason looks over and grunts. He tosses a bag of coins at Torvald. "Leave it. We'll see ta it later."
[Torvald]: Ah. *He looks around, and places the ear on a barrel."
[Nesselos]: I hope you will tell his next of kin. Somehow.
Torvald nods and consults a list. "Speaking of kin! Next stop is a prison to see to some more paperwork. Good afternoon, good fellows!"
[Nesselos]: You have kin in prison?
[Nesselos]: Brother?
[Torvald]: Oh, not mine! The Smallpotatoes family I'm helping need a fellow of theirs to sign off that he forfeits the rights to his property. Kam Bigtaters, I believe his name was. Serving time for arson in the Stockades.
[Nesselos]: Oh, then we should go visit!
Torvald holds up a legal document approximately 3 inches thick.
[Torvald]: The Great Prison Adventure!
[Alliza]: Are they all named after potatoes…?
[Nesselos]: Adventure!
Torvald shrugs. "Who can say!"
[Torvald]: I do believe the family works in the vodka business!
[Nesselos]: Maybe we run into my cousin. She is around here somewhere.
Nesselos looks around, as if she might leap out of a bush,
[Alliza]: In prison?
[Torvald]: Your cousin! A family reunion!
[Nesselos]: No in Eastern Kingdoms.
Torvald looks to the bushes as well.s
[Nesselos]: I suppose it is big. Maybe she is not around here exactly.
[Torvald]: Ah, well, who can say?
They travel to the Stockades via magic.
[Nesselos]: Well, here we are at prison. And no cousin on the way. Not sure if I am disappointed or relieved.
Torvald laughs.
Warden Thelwater says: What am I going to do?
Torvald approaches Thelwater.
[Nesselos]: She is good person, but… intimidating.
[Torvald]: Having a spot of trouble, my good sir?
Nesselos waves at Warden Thelwater.
Warden Thelwater says: They must have had someone helping them.
Warden Thelwater says: Huh? What? Oh. Nothing, no it's nothing. *He coughs.*
[Shar'ei]: Prison is under canal?
Warden Thelwater looks over at Torvald. "What do you want?"
[Nesselos]: This seems not ordinary, for prison?
[Alliza]: Ugh, remind me never to end up here.
[Torvald]: Oh, I'm here on behalf of the Dwarven House of Smallpotatoes, to see about getting the -
Warden Thelwater groans. "Not them again. I…look, I can't do anything about that right now! I've told them, we've got our hands full."
Nesselos eyes the barricades.
[Shar'ei]: (quietly) Vhat is prison?
Nesselos whispers to Shar'ei. "Where they put people who break rules."
Warden Thelwater points at the gates. "We haven't been able to keep this place under control since the riots. Locks are busted. Cages destroyed."
[Shar'ei]: Ooooooo!
[Nesselos]: We will defend you, Torvald Adventurer.
Torvald nods. "Uh huh. I see! Well, no matter! I can surely find one man!"
[Nesselos]: So you can get your paper.
[Alliza]: Yes…your paper for…the potato family.
Warden Thelwater rolls his eyes. "Look, you wanna go in there, it's your funeral. I didn't see nothing." He turns away to punctuate his point.
[Shar'ei]: Vhich is helping.
Torvald raises his mace. "To the Great Prison Riot Adventure!"
They begin the Great Prison Adventure.
[Torvald]: Well, now. They don't look so tough. Barely any armor to speak of!
Defias Inmate attempts to run away in fear!
Shar'ei looks at the robes we're wearing and is confused.
Torvald looks them over. "You coulda hung portraits off that chap's nipples."
Alliza gasps. "Y-you - ! Just….hush!"
Torvald laughs at Alliza.
Defias Prisoner goes straight to Alliza.
[Torvald]: Hey,now, leave the good lass alone!
Torvald shoulders in front of Alliza every time someone goes for her.
Alliza isn't sure if she should appreciate the gesture or recoil.
Nesselos whispers "I'm sorry" to each downed prisoner.
They come to a three way option intersection.
[Torvald]: Well, now.
Torvald takes out a coin, and flips it.
Torvald points west. "To the East!"
[Alliza]: We're going to get lost in here. They'll never find us…
[Torvald]: Don't worry! I'm an expert in being lost!
[Alliza]: That's not comforting!
Torvald proves this by going back the same way they just came.
[Nesselos]: This is underground yes? Your specialty.
[Torvald]: Indeed!
[Torvald]: Hmm. I haven't seen anyone who looked particularly dwarven.
Nesselos points at Kam Bigtaters.
Torvald yells out an insult about the Defias' mother as the prisoner goes for Alliza.
[Torvald]: Ah, HA!
[Torvald]: Excuse me good sir! Kam Bigtaters? I'm here on behalf of the Smallpotatoes, looking to see if you'd be willing to sign -
Kam Bigtaters aims a shiv straight for Torvald.
Torvald takes the blow on his shield. "Ah. Well."
[Alliza]: Oh yes, this is going GREAT.
Torvald looks at the dead body.
[Nesselos]: He did not listen. *Nesselos sounds distressed*
[Torvald]: Hmmm. But…it does solve the problem of the inheritance!
Torvald takes out a list and checks off a box.
[Nesselos]: I… suppose that is true.
[Alliza]: Yes, but…you can't just…
Alliza sighs.
Torvald shrugs.
[Nesselos]: It was self-defense.
[Torvald]: Now, to leave!
Torvald goes the wrong way.
They run into people who want to kill them. The prisoners die instead. And they end up in a dead end.
Nesselos]: I think exit was other way.
[Torvald]: Ah. Dead end. So to speak!
Torvald continues. He goes the wrong way again.
[Nesselos]: Little man! Torvald!
[Torvald]: Ah, ha!
[Torvald]: Well spotted, good sir!
[Nesselos]: This staircase, yes?
[Alliza]: Little man. *She snickers.*
[Nesselos]: Well, you can tell potato people all is settled.
Torvald gives Warden Thelwater a wink and thumbs up. The Warden sighs and returns to his paperwork.
[Shar'ei]: Hoomans are short.
Nesselos nods at Shanei.
Torvald laughs in 6'6".
[Torvald]: So it seems, my good lady!
[Shar'ei]: But Hoomans say dwarves short, and dwarves say gnomes short…
[Nesselos]: Little, tiny, and very tiny.
[Shar'ei]: Vho do gnomes think are short?
[Nesselos]: Hamsters?
Shanei laughs at Nesselos.
Torvald takes out a paper, and looks over the boxes checked. "Indeed, I do believe the Smallpotatoes will now soon get their .82 acres of land!"
[Shar'ei]: Vhat is hamster? Is this like goat?
[Alliza]: Greatfather Winter's helpers?
Shanei nods at Alliza.
[Nesselos]: It is cute little furred thing. Palm-size.
Shar'ei looks at her palm, which is the size of a human head
[Torvald]: If you'll excuse me, fellow Adventurers! I shall part ways from you here, but know that I will always remember you as the ones who kept the rain off my head and the blood off my, uh, *he looks for anything not covered in blood.* back of my knees~!
[Nesselos]: Thank you for the adventure, Torvald!
Torvald can't see the blood on the back of his knees. There is definitely blood there.
Torvald bows down graciously.
[Shar'ei]: I are not sure how help, but helped!
Nesselos bows down graciously.
[Alliza]: Be sure to get CLEAN!
[Torvald]: Farewell! May we meet again on the Road of Adventure! *He runs out and jumps into the canal.*
Shar'ei looks dubiously at the canals.
[Torvald]: FLINTLOCKE! *He lands in the water with a splash.*
[Torvald]: Oh. The documents! *He pats his wet pockets. The papers are ruined.* Well! The Great Paperwork Adventure Continues!